by A. L. Brooks
With the hot mug in hand, she walked through to the living room, switched on the fake fire, and folded herself into the armchair. What she wouldn’t give for Gizmo’s warm little body and cute face beside her right now; something about that dog’s presence always calmed her. Much like his owner’s.
Lesley answered on the third ring.
“You’re mad, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” Tamsyn had decided she wouldn’t sugar coat it. They’d been friends too long for her not to be brutally honest now. “For God’s sake, Lesley, what were you thinking?”
“Tamsyn, it has to be done!” Her passion and excitement were palpable, and Tamsyn knew in an instant that they were never going to agree on this matter. “This sort of stuff has gone on for far too long. This is the twenty-first century. A man should be free to be openly gay no matter what his job or position in society, and the longer these people keep perpetuating these ridiculous situations, the worse it is for all of us. Surely you can see that? I mean, look at you, having to hide who you really are because you fear what it would do to your career? Wouldn’t your world, our world, be a better place if coming out wasn’t a big deal? If everyone was out and no one cared?”
Tamsyn closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her forehead. Her heart raced as anger bubbled up. “But Lesley, don’t you see? His situation is exactly the same as mine—as in, I assume he had very good reasons for keeping it quiet. You don’t know him, you don’t know what those reasons are. So what gives you the right to ride roughshod over his whole life like that? Have you seen what some of the more right-wing press are doing to him? It’s awful, Lesley. Absolutely awful.”
“He’ll survive,” Lesley said bitterly. “His type always do.”
“For fuck’s sake, Lesley, what’s happened to you?” Tamsyn was genuinely mystified; this uncharacteristic heartlessness cut her to the bone. “Since when did you stop caring about people?”
“Caring about people?” Lesley was practically shouting now. “Have you seen how many teenagers still kill themselves because they’re scared to tell their families they’re gay? Have you seen how many kids get kicked out of their family homes when they do finally pluck up courage to come out? Don’t you get it?”
Tamsyn was breathing heavily, and Lesley’s inhalations were loud in her ear. “Lesley, I understand all that, I really do. But how is ruining one man’s life going to change any of that? How is ruining the lives of the people he loves going to change it?”
The latest headlines were all focused on his wife, and how the news must have devastated her. The boyfriend, too, had been harassed all morning by the paparazzi, and was allegedly fleeing the country to get away from the attention.
“They’ll all deal with it.” Lesley didn’t sound quite so sure of herself now, and Tamsyn seized her chance.
“What if this was me, Lesley? Hmm? What if someone had suddenly outed me and I was being hounded by the press? How would you feel then?” It was a cheap shot, but something told her nothing else would break through.
Lesley was silent for a minute. When she finally spoke, her words carried no conviction. “That’s different, and you know it. He’s a politician. He shouldn’t lie.”
Tamsyn snorted. “For crying out loud, they make a living from lying! Don’t be so fucking naive.” She shook her head, even though she knew Lesley couldn’t see her. “I honestly don’t know what else to say to you. I thought I knew you, but now…”
“I didn’t expect you to be happy about this,” Lesley replied, her voice tight. “But I thought you’d understand, if you thought it through. If you thought about the example that needs to be set for the LGBT youngsters who are still struggling to live in this world.”
“Lesley, I don’t think you have the faintest idea what LGBT youngsters are feeling.” It was hard not to be scathing. “I don’t think this is about them at all. And I think you need to go away and have a long, long think about that before you do anything else with this group.”
The empty sound of a call that had been ended was her only answer.
Chapter 24
“I think we should make a concerted effort not to mention anything about who Tamsyn is in front of the kids, right?” Maggie passed Ruth a glass of champagne.
“Agreed. They’re far too sharp for their own good and it’ll spread round their school in no time.” Ruth nodded before taking a loud slurp.
“Hey, you make our children sound positively vicious!” Will objected, frowning. He was handsome, in a rugged kind of way—years of playing rugby had ensured his face would never be entirely symmetrical again—with thick black hair and piercing blue eyes, and he looked good dressed up for Christmas Day. Both he and Ruth had made a bit more of an effort than they normally would, and Maggie had smiled but not commented.
Ruth patted him on the hand. “No, my love, that is not what I’m suggesting. They won’t understand why it needs to be a secret, that’s all.”
Will harrumphed but a small smile crossed his features. “Okay, I agree with that.” He accepted the glass Maggie handed him, then grinned. “To my sister-in-law and her new, rather famous, girlfriend.”
Maggie blushed but accepted his toast with a smile. They all chinked glasses and drank, although Ruth was frowning as she took her first sip.
“Something wrong with the fizz?” Maggie asked, thinking it tasted fine to her.
“Oh, er, no. It’s nothing,” Ruth replied with a quick sideways glance at Will, whose face creased with confusion. Ruth sighed, then spoke to her husband. “I know you said I shouldn’t, but I have to.”
Will tutted and shook his head. “I’ll see how the girls are,” he threw over his shoulder as he left the room.
“What’s going on?” Maggie was mystified; Will had looked positively pissed off.
Ruth set her glass firmly down on the small kitchen table and motioned for Maggie to take a seat.
“Ruth, you’re scaring me. Is something wrong?”
Ruth’s eyes widened as she slipped into her own chair. “Oh! God, no. Nothing like that. I just want to talk to you about something and, well, Will thinks it’s not my place and…”
Maggie instantly went on alert. If Will thought that, then Ruth was about to stick her nose in Maggie’s business in a big way. She folded her arms across her chest and glared at her sister. “What? Go on, spit it out.”
“You saw the news, yes? About Duncan Harewood.”
Maggie nodded sharply, pretty sure she knew where this was going.
Ruth straightened in her chair, her tone mildly defensive as she said, “Look, I know you and Tamsyn have only just reconnected and are probably still working out what the two of you are or could be. And granted, her coming to Christmas lunch is a pretty big statement on that—meeting the family so quickly and everything. But when is she going to come out? You said she was thinking about it, but discovering what Harewood made his boyfriend do all those years has—”
“Whoa, wait!” Maggie held up a hand, trying to get her irritation under control before she continued. “You have no idea if Harewood made his boyfriend do anything. For all we know, it was the boyfriend who wanted them to keep it a secret. Or he was perfectly happy living a secret life. Why does everyone always assume the worst of the person being outed?”
“But Tamsyn told you before that she wouldn’t be able to live a publicly out life, and therefore by definition she would expect you to keep everything secret!”
“Back then, yes. But not now. She’s made it quite clear she does want to come out. In fact, yesterday’s news only seemed to bolster her on that. The last thing she wants is to be outed like that. She wants it done on her terms.”
“But when? It’s all well and good saying you want to do it, but then you actually have to do it,” Ruth said adamantly.
Maggie inhaled deeply before responding. “Look, I get where this is coming fr
om. You’re worried about me having to creep around pretending I’m not with her, yes?”
Ruth nodded. “Of course. I don’t think it would be healthy for you or the relationship.”
“But what makes you think I would agree to that? Do you think I have so little backbone that I’d just capitulate like that?”
They stared at each other for a moment, before Ruth sighed and shook her head. “No, I don’t. I… Maggie, I’m sorry. I’m just concerned that the woman you’ve had a mighty crush on all these years is going to give you the run-around.” She sipped her drink. “Maybe it’ll be easier for me once I see the two of you together. At the moment all I have is what you’re telling me.”
Maggie snorted derisively. “And that’s not enough to trust me?”
“Maggie, of course I trust you. But I don’t know her. And until I do, I reserve the right to be sceptical. I’m your sister. I love you and care about what happens to you, so don’t blame me for being unsure about someone I’ve never bloody met, okay?”
Exhaling, Maggie unfolded her arms and reached for her glass. “Okay,” she said before she took a sip. “I can accept that.”
“I didn’t mean to come across so heavy-handed,” Ruth said, her tone contrite. “I do just care—”
Maggie reached across and patted her sister’s hand where it rested on the gnarled wood of the tabletop. “I know. It’s okay. Just try not to be too judgemental too quickly, okay?”
Ruth sighed. “I’ll try.”
By unspoken agreement they stood and began preparing vegetables, gradually relaxing again, and chatting about inconsequential things.
Will reappeared a few minutes later. “Everything all right?” he asked, looking at his wife.
“It’s all fine, Will,” Maggie said, feeling it was important it came from her.
“Well, okay then. So, when does Tamsyn get here?” Will asked.
Maggie glanced at the clock “About half an hour. She’s visiting her father in the nursing home this morning, then her car will bring her direct to here.”
“Her car,” Ruth said, rolling her eyes. “Imagine being that privileged.”
Wondering if they were about to start another heated discussion, Maggie shrugged to make light of it. “She has money, she uses it. Trust me, there’s nothing pretentious about it.”
“Oh, no! Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just, you know, a little bit jealous.” Ruth looked sheepish.
“Of what?” Will asked, turning to face her.
“Oh, I don’t know. Just the ease of it all, when you have that much money.”
“Hey, we do all right, don’t we?” Will looked genuinely upset.
Ruth’s face was contrite as she leaned forward to kiss her husband. “Oh, God, of course! Honey, I didn’t mean anything by it. Promise,” she said, kissing him again.
Mollified, Will kissed her back, turning it into something far more passionate than Maggie needed to witness; she scurried back across the kitchen and pretended to fix some small thing with the vegetables. Laughter from across the room told her it was safe to turn back round.
“Sorry, did we embarrass you?”
Ruth didn’t look sorry at all, and Maggie stuck her tongue out at her sister.
“Aunty Maggie, you’re not supposed to do that,” came a small, shocked voice from the doorway.
Maggie looked over at her niece and smiled. “Different rules for grown-ups, Ellie. Sorry.”
“So not fair.” Ellie pouted.
“What do you want, missy? You can’t be bored with your presents already.” Ruth gazed down at her daughter.
Ellie grinned and skipped into the room. “No, I’m just thirsty. Can I have some juice?”
“Please,” Ruth said, pinning Ellie with a glare.
The youngster rolled her eyes. “Pleeeeeease.”
Trying hard not to snort, Maggie poured her a small glass of juice, plus one for her twin, then ushered her out of the room. She followed Ellie back to the living room and stuck her head round the door to make sure all was well. It still looked like a small tornado had blown through, but was no worse than before. She laughed out loud when she spotted Gizmo in amongst the wreckage, his head adorned with a hat fashioned out of used wrapping paper.
“Nice hat, Giz.”
He looked up at her and wagged his tail.
“He’s our prince,” Anna said, glancing up from the colouring book she was scribbling in.
“Right. Of course.” Maggie had no idea what that meant but all three of them were quiet and busy and that was what counted.
She returned to the kitchen where Ruth and Will were busy canoodling again. They broke apart with silly grins and Maggie shook her head.
“You two are like teenagers.”
“Hah, as if you won’t be doing the same with Tamsyn when she gets here,” Ruth said, her eyes gleaming.
“If I do I’m not going to do it in front of you.” Maggie grinned. “You’d never watch any of her films in the same away again.”
Ruth laughed. “Trust me, I won’t anyway knowing she’s shagging my sister.”
“So crude,” Maggie muttered, but she chuckled along, happy that they seemed to be back on even ground.
When the doorbell rang fifteen minutes later, Maggie left the kitchen, silently admonishing herself for her trembling hands and thumping heart. She found two inquisitive young girls and one very excited dog waiting in the hall.
“Calm down,” she muttered to Gizmo, but also to herself.
When she pulled open the door, she and Tamsyn exchanged smiles, their gazes saying everything without the need for words.
“Merry Christmas,” Tamsyn said softly.
“Merry Christmas.” Maggie stepped to one side to allow Gizmo to lavish his own Christmas greetings on their guest, which Tamsyn lapped up with all the appropriate gooey noises, as well as compliments on his hat.
When she’d managed to prise him off her legs, she stepped into the house properly and removed her coat. She’d dressed down, as Maggie had advised, and looked good in her black jeans and jade green turtleneck jumper. Her hair was in a loose ponytail, and Maggie itched to undo it and run her fingers through the lush thickness of it all.
Swallowing down a sudden burst of arousal, Maggie watched as Tamsyn’s gaze drifted and a wide smile lit up her face.
“Well, hello. You must be Anna and Ellie.”
Maggie turned to see her nieces shyly nod. “Say hello, girls. This is Tamsyn.”
They whispered a hello in unison, then broke into giggles and scampered back into the living room, Gizmo trotting after them.
“They’re shy around strangers,” Maggie offered.
“Perfectly sensible.” Tamsyn passed a large bag to Maggie. “Some extras for the day. I couldn’t turn up empty-handed, even though you said not to bring anything.”
Maggie grinned. “Somehow I thought you’d ignore me.” She glanced in the bag and saw champagne, smoked salmon, two small teddy bears, and a large box of chocolates. “You’re naughty, but nice.”
“I can live with that.” Tamsyn leaned in. “So, hello.” She kissed Maggie, her lips cool from the cold day outside, her tongue warm as it dipped into Maggie’s mouth.
“Mm, hello back.” Maggie smiled, her heart full. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
Tamsyn nodded, her smile equally wide.
“Come on, come and meet my sister and her hubby.” Maggie took Tamsyn’s hand and tugged her through to the kitchen.
When they walked into the room, Ruth was pulling the open bottle of champagne from the fridge, and Will was reaching for a fresh glass from the dresser.
“Ruth, Will, I’d like you to meet Tamsyn.”
They turned, big smiles on their faces even as their eyes betrayed how star-struck they were. To Maggie’s delight, Rut
h was first to walk over, hand extended.
Tamsyn shook it. “Lovely to meet you.”
“And you.” Ruth inhaled deeply. “Okay, I’m just going to get this out of the way right off and then not bother you with it again. You’re amazing! I’ve loved almost everything you’ve done and Blue Lights is one of my favourite TV shows ever,” she gushed.
Tamsyn chuckled. “That’s lovely to hear. And hey, if you feel the need to boost my ego at any other time during the day, you go right ahead.”
“No, don’t,” Maggie chimed in. “Her head’s big enough as it is.”
Tamsyn gasped, and clutched at her chest. “Such betrayal.”
Ruth looked between them, her mouth open. “Oh, boy,” she said after a moment, “this is going to take some getting used to.”
Shaking his head and smirking, Will stepped forward. “Hi, Tamsyn. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Tamsyn shook his hand.
“Champagne?” he asked, gesturing to the empty glass.
“Did you prep him?” Tamsyn asked, turning to Maggie.
“Nope, he’s just that kind of guy.”
“You and I are going to get along just fine,” Tamsyn whispered, and Will laughed.
The four adults sat around the kitchen table, sipping champagne and chatting. Maggie was thrilled at how easily Tamsyn assimilated into the situation—not that she’d really had any doubts. Ruth and Will were both easy-going, and they seemed to quickly forget who Tamsyn was out in the wide world. Tamsyn, for her part, was clearly revelling in the ordinariness of Christmas with Maggie’s family. She’d told Maggie her alternative plans would have been to accept an open invitation from a fellow actress to join an assorted selection of ‘misfits’, as Tamsyn had called them, for lunch at one of the swanky hotels in Mayfair. Watching her now, laughing and joking with Will and Ruth, Maggie knew she’d never regret turning that invite down.
They ate their traditional turkey meal around the same table, making use of its extending leaves to ensure it was big enough for all six of them to fit. Anna and Ellie gradually relaxed around Tamsyn and chattered away about everything and anything as they ate. Gizmo, his loyalties on display for all to see, sat by Tamsyn’s chair for the entire meal—not begging, just sitting, clearly happy just to be close to her.