David’s shoulders sagged as he slumped forward. “I should just accept it?”
“You ask God to give you the ability to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to do the things you can, and the wisdom to tell the difference, and you never stop doing your best.”
For several seconds, David sat in silence. All the shame, guilt, and helplessness he felt boiled to the surface as he fell to his knees, sobbing as he looked up at the sky. Sheila knelt beside him and held him tightly.
“It’s okay, David. Let it out,” she coaxed him.
As David sat and sobbed and worked to compose himself, Sheila held him.
“I’m sorry, Sheila. I don’t want anyone to know what’s really going on inside me.”
“I know, and that’s no way to go through life. Let me show you something.” She took his hand, and after a moment, they were in a different place. They flew over fields of humans—tens of thousands of them.
“Do you see those people, David?”
“Who are they?” he asked, marveling at how they had traveled.
“They’re the ones you’ve saved throughout your life. And not only them but also the children they had and the families you saved. You’ve touched hundreds of thousands of lives.”
In another moment, they were back in the field, sitting together.
“That’s a neat trick,” David said, cracking a small smile.
“Yeah, it’s interesting.”
“Why are you showing me all of this?”
“Because you have miles to go, David Cohen. Because God needs you. You have a purpose in His plan. You have to answer the call,” she said, caressing his hands.
“Somebody else can answer that call. I’ve fought the good fight.”
“If you abandon your post, why would anyone else stand and fight? You’re the hero of Canaan. The man who defeated Seville. If you quit now, you will doom us all to darkness for ten generations. You don’t get to quit, David. You’ve never quit in your life. The David Cohen I loved never quits.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“I gave my life for the cause. All you have to do is live for the cause.”
“I don’t know how to keep going, Sheila.”
“One day at a time. One step at a time.”
“That sounds a bit trite.”
“I won’t deny it. But it’s still true. It’s how I kept going. Now it’s your turn. I’ll be here, watching out for you. God is with you. He’s your protector. He will support you, and He will fight for all of us as long as we humble ourselves and call on His name.”
David looked down, fighting through waves of emotion. At the core of his soul, he knew she was right. They had a fight to wage, not just the Terran Coalition against the League of Sol, but good versus evil. Maybe she was right and there was a higher power that supported evil and opposed God. But that wasn’t something David could figure out right then.
“It’s going to take me a while to put aside the hate for the League and Seville.”
“But you’re going to try, aren’t you?”
“I am, but I’m going to give it to HaShem. Because He can do immeasurably more than I ever could,” David said with a smile.
Sheila stood and helped David up. “And that is the David Cohen I know and love.”
“As for the rest, I’ll keep fighting until I can fight no more.”
“I’ll be here when you arrive someday,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Knowing my luck, I’ll still be single.”
Sheila laughed. “I very much hope that’s not the case. You deserve to be loved while you’re in this universe. Besides, you cook a good steak. Men who can cook are a hot commodity.”
David joined her in laughing then smiled sadly. “I miss you so much.”
After a moment, Sheila leaned in and kissed him passionately. “I miss you, too, David. Until we meet again someday. I love you.”
David woke up with a start. He jerked up so quickly that he nearly hit his head. Sitting there for a few minutes, he remembered every detail of the dream. Or was it something more? He couldn’t be sure. It felt so real, and now it’s like a memory of something that actually happened.
He lay back down, but he didn’t sleep the rest of the night. Going over and savoring every moment with Sheila, he felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off him and that something very dark was gone from his heart. Realizing that he finally had some measure of peace, he prayed repeatedly that God would forgive him and bless his soul. Resolving to find a way to exorcise the hate from his soul, he spent the rest of the night praying and thinking about how to grow into the man Sheila told him he could be.
* * *
Following his customary morning ritual, David resolved to visit Dr. Tural to try to make sense of what he’d experienced the night before. He wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but upon reflection, he was confident it was something more than simply a dream.
Tugging his duty sweater down, David strode into the medical bay, which was empty at 0600. Walking through the quiet facility, he made his way to Dr. Tural’s office to find the doctor behind his desk. He knocked on the open hatch frame to announce himself. “Good morning, Doctor. May I come in?”
Tural stood. “Of course, Colonel. How may I help you today?”
David stepped into the room and closed the hatch behind him. “I need to discuss something with you, Doctor. But before I do, I need your word that this will not go into my medical record.”
Tural raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I can make a blanket promise like that, Colonel, if whatever you share with me impacts your ability to command this ship.”
“I’m certain you’ve noticed my… cold emotional state the last few days.”
“I’d be lying to you if I said I hadn’t, Colonel. You’ve absorbed a great deal of trauma. I would strongly recommend you visit a counselor.”
David pursed his lips. “Doctor, I had an experience last night. One that I can’t explain. I was hoping you could help me understand it.”
“If I can, I will. What happened?”
For the next ten minutes, David explained the vision to Tural. “In conclusion, Doctor, I’ve never had a dream like that in my life. It was like I was really there, like it actually happened.”
Tural had worn a questioning yet inscrutable expression during David’s entire explanation, rarely interrupting. “Colonel, if I may… I’m not sure what use I can be to you. While the Quran quite clearly states that dreams can be authentic messages from Allah, I’m not sure what you want from me.”
“I was hoping you could run some tests on my brain and tell me if I’m okay, Doctor.”
“I can run a baseline scan of your brain activity, but I’m not sure what I’d be looking for,”
“Let’s just make sure it’s in good working order, then,” David replied with a smile.
Tural stood and gestured to the door. “Very well. Let’s get you onto an examination bed.”
After he led David over, it took a few minutes for the scan to be completed. David had to sit completely still and wait for the laser to pass back and forth over his head several times.
Once it was over, they returned to Tural’s office. Tural pulled the scan images up on his personal tablet and reviewed them.
“I will admit these results are interesting, Colonel.” He turned the tablet around. Pointing to a specific section, he continued, “Do you see this here? That’s your hippocampus or the portion of the brain that governs much of the memory functions.”
David peered at the image, but he had no idea what he was looking at. “You must forgive me, Doctor. Why would that image be interesting to you?”
“Well, see how it’s lighting up? That indicates that you’ve made many new memories. That’s not something I would expect to see after you were asleep most of the night, having a dream.”
David furrowed his brow. “Does that mean you see some evidence that it wasn
’t just a dream?”
Tural shook his head. “Colonel, I can’t say there’s irrefutable scientific evidence that you had what amounts to an out-of-body spiritual experience.” He spread his hands. “Is the fact that you seem to have made a lot of memories in the last few hours interesting? Yes. Does it point to something possibly happening with you that can’t be readily explained based on what you’ve told me? Yes. Ultimately, only you will be able to decide what happened. You’ll have to accept it on faith or not at all.”
David nodded and sat silently. “What do you think happened?”
“From the perspective of my role as the chief medical officer on this ship, Colonel… nothing happened,” Tural replied. “But if I were to step back and simply evaluate what you’ve told me against the available evidence and combined with my faith in Allah, I believe something happened to you. Was it a dream? Something more? I don’t know. If we accept that God speaks to us, who is to say He didn’t speak to you last night? Perhaps your subconscious mind gave you a much-needed emotional boost. The end result is the same. You have to decide for yourself as to your interpretation of it.”
David sat back. “Thank you, Doctor.” He began to rise.
“I see no reason for this to go into your medical record, Colonel.”
“Thank you for that.”
“Anytime, Colonel. Godspeed.”
* * *
Deciding he needed some quiet time with God, David made his way to the shul. He donned his yarmulke and his tallit gadol before entering.
“Colonel, it’s been a few days. Did you forget about Shabbat?” Rabbi Kravitz asked, mirth in his voice.
David shook his head. “I’m sorry, Rabbi. The last couple of days have been… challenging for me.” As he spoke, he walked over to a pew and sat down.
Kravitz followed and sat with him. “In such times, you must turn to God.”
“I realize in times such as these, Rabbi… I’m not a great Jew.”
Kravitz laughed. “And who is a great Jew? Certainly not me.”
“Rabbi, when Sheila was killed…”
“You wondered where God was?”
David nodded and stared at his hands. “Yes.”
“What about now?”
David lifted his head and peered directly into Kravitz’s eyes. “I think Sheila came to me in a dream or a vision last night. And I think God let her.”
A questioning expression washed over Kravitz’s face. “That’s quite a feat, Colonel.”
“I realize it sounds crazy. I have no evidence to support that idea, except Dr. Tural found I have large amounts of new memories in my hippocampus.”
“Does Dr. Tural believe you had a vision?”
“Medically speaking? No. There is no proof either way. He told me I have to accept it on faith or not at all.”
Kravitz nodded. “What happened in your dream?”
David explained, sharing almost all the details, except for their declarations of love. “It was more real than any dream I’ve ever had. It was like I was there.”
“God certainly has visited us in dreams since the beginning of our history. Do you believe it was a vision from God, David?”
“Yes.”
“Then I believe it was as well. A man like you isn’t taken to flights of fancy. I think a more important question is ‘What are you going to do with it?’”
“Fight the good fight. Without hate in my heart.”
Kravitz put his arm around David’s shoulders. “Would you allow me to pray with you, David?”
David nodded.
“Blessed are you, Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who bestows good things upon the unworthy and has bestowed upon me every goodness.”
David immediately recognized the prayer for surviving danger. He spoke the traditional reply. “Amen. He who has bestowed upon you every goodness, may He continue to bestow upon you every goodness. Selah.”
“Lord, our God, King of the Universe, bless this man,” Kravitz continued. “Grant him courage and wisdom, and give him good counsel. Show him the path, and do not allow him to venture from it. Amen.”
“Amen,” David said. “Thank you, Rabbi.”
“I will leave you to your prayers and meditation.” Kravitz stood.
David inclined his head, and the rabbi walked off to comfort another member of the congregation.
After bowing his head, David prayed for the next fifteen minutes then closed with the prayer that was traditional to him: God, if it is your will, spare the lives of my crew and allow them to return safely to their families. After finishing, he stood and walked out of the shul, removing his prayer shawl and yarmulke.
Emerging from the shul and walking down the ship’s passageway back toward his office, David reflected on his feelings. Moving from near emotional destruction twenty-four hours ago to being back to something of his former self seemed nothing short of miraculous. Everything felt right again. While part of him was still sad, he wasn’t broken any longer. Smiling, he quickened his step. He had so much to do, and it was time to do it.
* * *
David, Tinetariro, Ruth, and a robust honor guard consisting of both Marines and enlisted crew members from the Lion stood in an airlock on the starboard side of the ship. He’d received a notification thirty minutes prior that both President Spencer and Chief Minister Sherazi would be touring the Lion.
As Ruth adjusted her dress uniform, she looked over at David. “Sir, why’d they only give us thirty minutes’ notice? Trying to get everyone into the proper uniforms and at the airlock is practically impossible in that amount of time.”
David smirked. “Well, I could say that they just want to see if we could do it… but I suspect the real reason is security. Having the two heads of state of the Canaan Alliance in one place is a great risk.”
“We’re at Canaan’s main space station. This is literally the most secure location in Terran Coalition space.”
“Perhaps it is, Lieutenant. But no one is leaving anything to chance after the events of the last week.”
Ruth peered at him. David could tell she was trying to figure out what had changed, as his whole attitude was different. His shoulders were squared, he was smiling, and he didn’t look like a storm cloud.
His personal tablet vibrated, and he pulled it from his uniform and stared at the screen. “Okay, look alive, ladies and gents. They’ll be here momentarily.”
Tinetariro performed a final inspection of the enlisted crew’s uniforms. David watched her expertly fix several errors with the ease that only came from thirty years in the service. While some might question why that was so important to her, his brief interactions with the master chief so far had told him it was simply a matter of respect, and if the president of the Terran Coalition was going to walk aboard their vessel, she would make sure it was perfect.
Another vibration came from his personal communicator with an alert that the president, the chief minister, and their respective entourage were entering the air lock.
“Master Chief, here they come,” he announced.
The security detail for both heads of state strode through the open hatch, followed closely by President Spencer and Chief Minister Sherazi.
“Attention on deck!” David announced with the practiced voice of command.
Immediately, the honor guard and Ruth snapped to attention. Tinetariro trilled her bosun’s pipe, welcoming the dignitaries.
“Permission to come aboard, Colonel?” President Spencer asked.
“Granted, sir.” David replied.
“I’ve been looking forward to seeing this ship fully operational for some time, Colonel Cohen. That it has performed so well is beyond our wildest hopes and dreams.”
David pursed his lips. “Regardless of the tragedy of the last few days, sir, we have much to be thankful for. I consider this vessel to be a marvel, both in its technology and in the ability of its crew. No one could ask for a better team.”
Spencer smiled. “Glad to hear it,
Colonel. Have you met Chief Minister Sherazi?”
Sherazi took a step forward and extended his hand to David. “Greetings, Colonel.”
David shook it firmly. “Chief Minister, welcome aboard.”
General MacIntosh and another Saurian male, who wore a CDF uniform, walked through the open hatch, followed by the last members of the security detail.
At the sight of MacIntosh, David stiffened once more. “General.”
“At ease, everyone,” MacIntosh ordered. “Colonel Cohen. Permission to come aboard?”
“Granted, sir.”
“Please allow me to introduce Lieutenant Colonel Talgat Aibek, the first member of the Coalition Defense Force and Royal Saurian Navy officer exchange program that our governments agreed to this morning.”
David took a step forward and extended his hand to Aibek, who shook it.
Like all Saurians, Aibek was taller than an average human. The scales atop his head were particularly colorful. He appeared to have robust and well-defined muscles, and an array of campaign ribbons David did not recognize was displayed on his uniform.
“Welcome aboard, Colonel.” As he continued to process Aibek, he realized that the XO’s position on the Lion was technically a billet for a Lieutenant Colonel. Is this my new XO? Bile rose in his throat, and Too soon ran through his head.
MacIntosh cleared his throat. “Let’s begin the tour, Colonel Cohen.”
“Yes, sir,” David said crisply. He turned to Tinetariro. “Master Chief, the honor guard is dismissed.”
“Yes, sir. Company… dismissed!” Tinetariro ordered.
The group of crew members melted away, leaving David and Ruth to conduct the tour. Over the next couple of hours, they led them through the Lion. Starting with the massive engineering space, David felt impressed by the questions President Spencer asked about the antimatter reactor. They also toured the hangar bay and the bridge.
Ending up in the wardroom, David, MacIntosh, Aibek, and the two heads of state sat down. The security details took up positions outside, save for a single agent from each government.
Coalition Defense Force Boxed Set: First to Fight Page 53