by Cee Bowerman
The baby in question was silent in Kale’s arms as he fed her a bottle of formula the paramedics had given him while they checked her over. Luckily, she was just hungry and uncomfortable.
The police had found the car Beverly had driven to town. The stolen vehicle was in a ditch about half a mile from our house. There wasn’t a car seat or baby supplies in the car, but they were sure that it was Beverly’s because her purse and some other things were still in the passenger seat.
“She stole the car, kidnapped some random baby, and then showed up at your house claiming that the baby belonged to the two of you. She was going to ride off into the sunset with her new baby, her grown baby, and you,” Nick took a deep breath and then let it out in a rush. “That’s unhinged fucking crazy if I’ve ever heard it.”
“She was fucked up in the head,” Sierra said from behind me and I turned to face her seconds before she threw her arms around my waist. “She would talk to herself and make these hand gestures like she was trying to make a point or something. And her voice would change when she was muttering like that. Kind of like there were two people inside her or something.”
“We’ll probably never know exactly what was going on in her mind,” Nicole, who had walked up at the same time as Sierra, told our group. “She might have been treated for a mental illness while she was in prison and then got off her meds when she got out. Or she hid it while she was in prison and had a complete break when she got out and realized that you were happily married and weren’t going to take her back.”
“I feel sorry for the little one’s parents,” Shannon said from her spot beside Kale. She was holding onto the baby’s foot and smiling at her every time the baby looked her way. “She was probably feeling the same fear that you two were.”
“Our girls are fucking awesome,” I told the group, as if they didn’t already realize that. “They got away from her and rescued that little girl in the process. They even knew just where to hide so that no one could get to them.”
“And they could call out for help,” Grunt nodded. “Not that it helped since I wasn’t near the radio. Maybe we should install some sort of alarm in each of the shelters that will alert us inside the house if someone is calling. I mean, I’m not sure that it would ever be used, but… ,”
“Yeah,” Nicole agreed. “Let’s do that. I mean, my shelter is in my house, too, and it’s a panic room if I need it. It makes sense that I’d have an alternate way to call out if I’m in there without a phone or something. We realized today that the radios aren’t enough if there’s no one manning the other end.”
“I’ll get on it first thing tomorrow,” Grunt told us. “Right now, we need to get back to our kiddos. I called them earlier and told them everything was okay, but they worry.”
I smiled, remembering Grunt before he and Shannon got together. He was morose and surly on a good day then, but after he got a family of his own, he became just a guy who was happy he had his family around him.
I turned and watched our girls in the corral with their horses. They had both calmed down when Sierra went down into the shelter with them and convinced us that they would squeeze their eyes tight if we would just let them outside in the fresh air with their horses.
I knew the value of horse therapy and how it could soothe your soul when you were troubled. I hoped that was happening now for both of them.
“I would imagine that’s the parents,” Nick said when he spotted the plume of dust in the wake of a vehicle that was fast approaching my drive. “They must have broken a few records to get here this quickly.”
“I’d run that fast if it got me to my girls,” I told Nick, knowing he’d do the same for his baby girl, Esme.
Sierra and I walked to the driveway beside Kale and waited for the car to stop. Nick greeted the man when he got out, but the woman ran past him directly to Kale.
“Mandy!” the woman whispered as she took her little girl out of Kale’s arms. “Oh, my God, thank you!”
“I didn’t do it, ma’am - their daughters did,” Kale gestured toward us and I got my first good look at the woman’s face.
I almost went to my knees, the shock hit me so hard. I knew the second she recognized me because I saw it hit her, too.
“Rowdy?” she asked, confused.
“Susan,” I nodded. “I’m glad your daughter is okay.”
“Who took her?” Susan asked softly as she glanced over at her husband who was still talking to Nick beside the car. Her husband looked at his wife and slowly shook his head before focusing on Nick again. “It was my mother, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “She took her and then came here to take my daughter, too. Is your dad okay?”
“Yeah,” Susan’s eyes shot over to the corral when the girls’ laughter floated our way. She stared at them for a few minutes before she looked at me again. “Is one of them her?”
“My daughter? Yeah,” I smiled. “She’s your sister, you know?”
“Yeah,” Susan whispered and put her head down to kiss her sleeping baby again. “I guess she is.”
“You know what happened wasn’t Rowdy’s fault, don’t you?” Sierra asked Susan. “It’s not Leia’s fault either.”
“Her name is Leia?” Susan asked as she looked over at the girls. “Like from Star Wars?”
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “I didn’t have much to go on when it came to naming babies, so I named her after the coolest chick in the movies.”
“Which one is your daughter?”
“They’re both mine now, but Leia is the one on the gray mare. Lexi, our other girl, is on the black.”
“Can I meet her? Meet them? I want to say thank you,” Susan asked. “I won’t tell her who I am if you don’t want me to. I don’t want to confuse her.”
“She wouldn’t be confused. She knows all about you guys,” I smiled at Susan. “I didn’t have any reason to keep y’all a secret.”
“Yeah,” Susan whispered as she walked toward Nick and her husband.
“She kidnapped her own granddaughter and was going to call it hers?” Kale shook his head. “Crazy fucking woman. I’m glad she’s dead. If she wasn’t already, I’d be inclined to help her get there.”
“I went ahead and took care of that,” Sierra laughed, but then she sobbed. The reality of what had happened was still too fresh for her to joke about and she was still in a little bit of shock.
The girls had bounced back easily. Almost too easily. I knew there would be lasting fears that stemmed from what happened today. Sierra had mentioned that she would like to take the girls to see the counselor at Kari’s place and I agreed that both of them should go. I also told Sierra I’d like her to talk to the lady at least once or twice, too.
But my Leia, she might need the counselor more than ever now when she found out that the little baby she had rescued was really her niece.
◆◆◆
I walked with Susan toward the corral in silence. I didn’t know what to say to her. She had been a year ahead of me in school, so we were acquaintances when we were kids, but then her mom got caught and both of our lives exploded.
“I blamed you and those other boys for a long time,” Susan finally broke the silence. “I was so young and stupid. I couldn’t believe that my mom would do that. My dad was such a good man and she was my mom, you know?”
I shrugged one shoulder, at a loss for words.
“But as I got older and my dad remarried, my stepmom showed me what a mom was supposed to be like. That’s when I realized just how fucked up my mom was. Not just how fucked up she was for what she did to you and those other guys, but how fucked up she was as a parent,” Susan shook her head and smiled at me. “My dad finally realized how hard it was for us to accept and my mom, well, stepmom, convinced him that we had been traumatized by her, too. She got him to take us to counseling and that helped.”
“That took 11 years?”
“Honestly, I never thought of your daughter as something real. I can’t explai
n it - maybe because I never saw my mom pregnant or because I never saw the baby. You were just a guy to me - the cute guy who played baseball with my brother and his friends. I couldn’t really put it together that you were a father.”
“I imagine it’s not something your dad wanted to think about either. I mean she did cheat on him. A lot.”
“My dad found out years later that she had done the same thing at the other school where she’d worked. The kid was older than you guys - he was 16. She lost her job, but never got in trouble for it. My dad just believed her when she said her position was cut. Then we moved and that’s when she started with you guys.”
“I’m sorry she fucked up your life,” I told Susan honestly.
“I’m sorry she fucked up yours.”
“It was hard, I’ll admit. Leia and I kind of grew up together, you know?” I laughed. “But now, I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“You seem like you’ve become a really good man, Rowdy.”
“I’d like to think so.”
We had been standing at the corral watching the girls through most of our conversation and had barely looked at each other. Susan put her hand on my arm and I turned to face her.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to get to know Leia and have my daughter grow up knowing that she’s her aunt.”
“It’s up to her. All I ask is that you don’t push - let her make her own choices. She’s a smart girl and she’ll work it out in her own time. She might have some feelings against you because she has always sort of felt like a dirty secret, no matter what I try and tell her.”
“I’m glad Beverly is dead, Rowdy.”
“I am, too.”
18.
SIERRA
“Did you mean what you said on the phone that day?”
“What?” I looked up from my study guide, not exactly sure what Rowdy had asked me.
“Nothing,” Rowdy smiled, but I could see that it was forced.
I sat there in the recliner he had bought just for me to sit in while I read as he did his sculpting. I laid my book down in my lap and watched him for a few minutes, piecing together what he had said while I had been immersed in my book.
I finally realized he was talking about that day when I told him I loved him.
“I meant it. That wasn’t when I realized it, though.”
He turned toward me, expressionless, and I stared into his beautiful eyes. His hair was pulled back into a knot at the back of his head and watching him put it up that way every time he worked at his bench was easily one of the top ten sexiest things I’d ever seen.
“I realized it just a little bit in Marcus’s office when you blurted out ‘marry me’ and then a little bit more came through the crack in my heart when you scooped my daughter up right along with yours and tickled her in the kitchen. You kissed her on the top of her head just like you do to Leia. Then there was that one time that Lexi wasn’t feeling well, so you had her sit between your legs on the floor. You rubbed her scalp and played with her hair until she fell asleep and then you let her head rest on your knee while you finished your movie. I watched you pick her up and carry her to her room. I followed you in there and leaned against the door as you tucked her in and made sure the blanket was wrapped around her feet so the monster under her bed wouldn’t pull her under. Then you kissed her on the forehead and brushed her hair away from her face like it was something you did for her every single night since the day she was born. Not like she was just a little girl you’d recently met - you did it like she was your own kid.”
I knew I was crying, I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, but I needed to tell him all the ways that he had made me love him so much that I couldn’t imagine breathing without him on this earth beside me.
“And when you helped her pick out her first pair of boots. You were so gentle with her, even though she insisted that she try on every single color of that same style in her size so she could look at each one in the mirror. Leia and I were falling off the couch in boredom and I think I actually fell asleep at one point, but you stayed focused on Lexi until she was perfectly happy with her ‘very special, very first pair, fit just right and totally awesome’ pair of cowboy boots. And then you gave us horses.”
Rowdy smiled.
“At some point in their lives, almost every little girl wants a horse, I think. It’s almost a rite of passage. I was one of those girls, oddly enough, but my parents wouldn’t hear of it. But you got our girls one and you got one for me so I could learn to enjoy riding right along with them. You spent the money you had been saving on us just to make us happy. And you married me! When we danced at our wedding, the two of us were the only ones in the world. You held me tight against you and told me with the song you chose that you loved me already. I knew then, but there was no way in hell I would admit it.”
Rowdy had been rubbing his hands on one of the towels he kept close by and he threw it up on the edge of his work bench and stood up. I watched my gorgeous husband walk toward me and then get down on his knees in front of me before he rested his head against my chest and held me tight.
I ran my fingers through his hair, just like I’d watched him do to my girl when she was hurting, and I cried. For all the years I had gone without love from my parents, for the loss of my first love before I even knew I held a part of him inside me, for the years I had spent looking over my shoulder in fear of them finding me. I cried for all the times I had to gently tell my daughter that she couldn’t go somewhere or have something because I couldn’t afford it. And I cried for all the times that I had to uproot her from the life we had built to run again.
I cried the most for the hurt she had felt at the hands of a man who should have loved her and the healing she was getting from this man who did.
“I love you, Rowdy Lincoln, and I’m proud to be your wife. If you’ll have me, I plan to die beside you after having a multi-orgasmic, marathon sex session in our nursing home and have a smile on my face even the coroner can’t get rid of.”
Rowdy chuckled and pulled back to look at my face.
“I’ll take you up on that.”
◆◆◆
“Remember three months ago when we got married, I said that the girls would have a honeymoon period just like we did? And I told you at some point shit will get real around here and the games would begin.”
The girls arguing got even louder.
“I remember that,” Rowdy said as he stood up from the couch. “Do they have to be so fucking shrill? Jesus.”
I laughed as Rowdy left the living room and walked down the hall to our daughters’ rooms. The two of them had been bickering for a few days now and about three minutes ago, it had come to a head and the screaming started. A few slammed doors later, a little more screaming, and one really loud, “Fuck you!” and Rowdy had had enough.
“What in the hell is wrong with the two of you?” he roared from down the hall.
Everything got quiet and less than 10 minutes later, Rowdy was back on the couch with me. We enjoyed our program while two sullen preteens sat knee to knee in kitchen chairs set over at the side of the living room, holding hands and ‘staring lovingly into each other's eyes until they either forgot what they were fighting about or remembered why they loved each other’.
It took almost half an hour before the two of them started to giggle, but I kept my face blank as I watched my television program beside my husband.
◆◆◆
“Rowdy Lincoln, I swear by all that’s good and holy in this world that if you reload the dishwasher after I’ve already started it again, I will cut off your access to the goods for the next six months,” I threatened.
“We’ve been together 10 months and you’re already using sex as a weapon?” Rowdy asked from his recliner. “Seriously, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“It’s not that big of a deal?” I yelled at him. “How do you not realize that’s it’s a major fucking deal? I spend time cleaning up after myself whil
e I cook so you don’t have to do so many dishes after we eat and you go behind me and undo all the work I’ve done.”
“Well, if you’d do it right… ,” Rowdy snapped.
“If I’d do it right? Are you fucking serious with that shit?”
“Jesus, is it Code Red or what?”
“You did not just blame this on my period,” I roared at him. “I did not hear such stupid, sexist bullshit just come out of your fucking mouth.”
“Well, I think you heard it or you wouldn’t be screeching about it.” Rowdy rolled his eyes and I wanted to punch him. “Seriously, what bug’s been up your ass lately? You’re hot and cold. One minute you’re all over me and then you’re jumping up like you’ve got a bad taste in your mouth. I was fucking kissing you and you jumped back like I was on fire.”
“You smelled like beer!”
“I had one fucking beer with dinner, Sierra! It’s not like I did a fucking keg stand!”
“It tasted horrible!”
“It’s the same fucking brand you drink! How was it all the fucking sudden horrible?”
I burst into tears, but I was still in a rage, “From now on, when I cook, I’m going to use every goddamn dish in the kitchen, burn the shit on the bottom of every fucking pan, and leave it all for you so you can load your precious dishwasher just right.”
“Fine! Do that!” Rowdy roared. “How the fuck are you crying right now? People don’t cry when they’re that pissed off. It’s not fucking natural.”
“You made me cry,” I wailed.
“And again, I ask, is it Code Red already? Because I swear it was less than a month ago I had to deal with Lexi and Leia crying when I got onto them about skipping their chores.” Rowdy stood up and walked toward me, his voice getting calmer the closer he came. “Honey, don’t cry. I’ll try and leave the dishes, but it’s like I can’t stop myself on some things. You know that.”