“It doesn’t have to be a farm.” She bit her lip. “Perhaps I could find work as a maid or minding children. It would be better than—”
“No. Our money would still be at risk. You can’t chase children or scrub a scullery with two earrings, a necklace, and hundreds of pounds strapped to your chest. You’ll stay here, where our money’s safe and you’re safe.”
“Doing what? Making conversation in the common rooms while you kill yourself under the hot sun to earn a pittance? Why bother, if it won’t be enough?”
“It will be enough,” he said fiercely. “Not to pay off the entire debt at once, but to prove to Gideon I take the threat seriously. His enforcers refused to consider paying back the debt in installments, but Gideon is my friend. If I go to him next week with twenty or thirty percent in hand, he’ll give me more time.”
He hoped.
Hope filled Charlotte’s eyes. “Truly? You are certain?”
Anthony wasn’t certain of anything anymore. He rolled over into his pillow rather than lie to Charlotte.
Besides, what was left to say? He would return every penny, no matter how long it took him to earn them. Even if it meant sweating in a coal mine. Even if it took years.
Even if it meant having to annul their marriage to keep her safe.
When he awoke a few hours later, Charlotte was no longer at his side. He forced himself out of bed and over to the washbasin to splash cold water onto his face.
He didn’t have to wonder where Charlotte had gone. Unable to toil in fields or otherwise raise funds to put toward Anthony’s debt, she felt powerless to help him.
She was frustrated with him, he knew, for not accepting her meager savings to use toward his debts. But in the event that he was unable to save himself after all, he refused to leave her penniless. He well knew what it was like to go days between meals. He would never willfully consign another person to such misery. His wife least of all. Rather, his ex-wife. If there were no saving himself from gaol, the least he could do was save Charlotte from being shackled to him.
As soon as he was clean and dressed, Anthony headed downstairs to find her. He only had a few moments to spare before his appointment to trim the church’s hedgerows, but he disliked the idea of departing with so much unresolved between them. Charlotte was clearly afraid the situation was not under control.
He had to prove to her that it was.
As he reached the foot of the stairs, a wave of boos and laughter near the front door caught his attention. Curious, he stepped forward to see what the ruckus was about.
A handful of gentlemen crowded against the open window, pointing at a bashful female sheep who was deftly sidestepping the amorous advances of her would-be white-wooled lover.
“Ten quid says the ewe will outfox him,” shouted one of the men.
“Twenty quid says she’ll give in,” cried another. “That ram is a handsome one.”
“Fairfax!” exclaimed a third. “Come and look. Is your money on the tup or the cut direct?”
“Cut direct,” he replied without hesitation. “Females are mysterious creatures, and stronger than you think.”
“Fairfax put twenty on utter rejection?” crowed the first man. “I told you I was right!”
“I raise you to thirty,” said the second. “That ram is a force who will not be denied. Just look at the way he—”
“Ohhh,” the men exclaimed as the ewe abruptly submitted to temptation. “That beast cuts a swath through his flock, he does!”
An upside-down top hat tapped against Anthony’s chest. “Everyone who wagered on the ewe’s strength of character, put your money in the hat.”
Laughing at the ridiculous scene, Anthony reached into his pocket for his gambling purse… and caught sight of Charlotte staring at him in disbelief from just outside the dining room. The disappointment on her pale face hit him like a blow to the chest.
His hand froze on his purse. Shame washed over him.
He had made hundreds of such idle wagers. Thousands, perhaps. A spot of nonsense between gentlemen, meant as nothing more than a moment of thoughtless fun.
But he didn’t have the right to be thoughtless anymore. Or reckless or impulsive or any of his other previously defining characteristics. Not when he was ten days away from being tossed into Marshalsea. He needed to be hoarding every penny, not throwing twenty quid away on the whims of a sheep in heat.
Such wagers were how he had fallen into this mess. His only hope for climbing out of it was proving this was no longer who he had been. That he could be responsible with money. That Gideon could trust Anthony to repay his debt. That Charlotte could count on him not to leave her alone and destitute.
He broke eye contact with her long enough to count his sovereigns into the hat. His neck heated with shame. This was the last time, he ordered himself fiercely. He was better than that. Or should be. When had gambling become as natural to him as breathing, such that he no longer even noticed the risks he was taking?
Not anymore. Now he had Charlotte… and the very real risk of prison. A man in his position could not afford to gamble away so much as tuppence.
Not when his entire life was on the line.
Chapter 8
Later that evening, Charlotte sat in the inn’s dining room awaiting Anthony’s return.
Before leaving to trim hedges, he had begged her forgiveness for the asinine wager she’d happened to see him make. She had waved away his apology as if the incident meant nothing.
It meant everything.
Bearing witness to how wholly irresponsible he was with his finances served to underscore how carefully she needed to guard her heart. Even if they managed to save him from prison, how could she be certain it wouldn’t happen again? She hugged herself and pushed the worry aside.
She would do everything in her power to help him, but if they could not raise the money—or if he lost it all on a spurious wager—she would find herself alone and husbandless. It didn’t matter how kind or charming he was. He would rot in Marshalsea and she would be powerless to stop it.
Her entire savings were less than ten percent of what he owed, yet it was all they had. She touched the money pouch hidden beneath her shift. Although she was the disrespectable one, her financial situation was far more stable than his. Her shoulders slumped.
What if they did save Anthony from gaol only for him to amass staggering debt all over again? Had he learned a valuable lesson, or would he keep on gambling?
“I just don’t know,” the anxious governess seated across from her continued. “What do you think I should do?”
Charlotte forced her mind back to the present. This young woman had come to Charlotte for help after overhearing Charlotte’s comments to some of other ladies in the drawing room. She straightened her shoulders. Solving other people’s problems was far easier than addressing her own.
“It sounds to me as if you should definitely take the Banfield opportunity once Timothy comes of age. If Agnes decides to stay in Edinburgh as a governess, that is her business. I see no reason why you should be forced to mind a nursery if you dislike doing so. Not if your talents are more suited to being a paid companion, and you already have a position waiting.”
The young lady sagged with relief. “Then that’s precisely what I’ll do. You are so wise, Mrs. Fairfax. Thank you ever so much for your counsel.”
At the words Mrs. Fairfax, a shiver danced along Charlotte’s skin. She still couldn’t quite believe she was married. Only in Scotland could her life have taken such an extraordinary turn.
After the governess excused herself from the table, an increasingly familiar presence settled on the bench beside Charlotte. Even with purple smudges beneath his eyes, Anthony Fairfax remained breathtakingly handsome. Her heart leaped, despite her best attempt to remain impartial.
He kissed the back of her hand, then lifted his chin toward the retreating governess. “Who was that?”
“Future paid companion.” Charlotte raised her eyebr
ows. “How were the hedgerows?”
“Tall.” His smile reached his eyes. “You could make a business of that, you know.”
“Hedgerows?”
“Helping people.”
She furrowed her brow. “How is helping people a business? If we take tea at the same table and they happen to tell me their troubles… You can’t expect them to pay a total stranger for her opinions on the matter.”
“A stranger over tea, no,” he agreed. “But if you had an office like a secretary or a barrister, and you were renowned as an expert in providing unbiased perspective and common-sense steps to take action on domestic matters, I am convinced you could be a rich woman.”
She tilted her head in interest. This was a very good sign. Perhaps he was finally ready to accept her help. “I thought you didn’t want my money.”
“I don’t.” He leaned back in his chair. “That doesn’t mean you should ignore your own finances. And besides, you are incredible. You should be rewarded for it.”
“By whom?” she scoffed. “No one would pay for common sense.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “This is apparently going to come as quite a shock to you, my dear, but… not everyone possesses common sense. In fact, the more fashionable the lady, the less becoming it is to have anything at all between her ears.” His tone was light, but his eyes were surprisingly serious. “I am fortunate indeed to have found a woman with both beauty and brains.”
As warm as his faith in her made her feel, she couldn’t imagine society taking a lady barrister seriously, much less a woman like her, dispensing nothing more than common sense.
“We need a plan,” she said instead. “A real one. If I had two thousand pounds, I would force you to take it. We only have a week and a half left.”
“I have a plan. I told you this morning.” His eyes looked tired. “I’m going to be an apprentice.”
Frustration gnawed at her. “An apprentice egg gatherer? An apprentice dairymaid?”
“Not here, of course. London.” He ran a hand through his hair. “My friends and family are there, as are a lot of well-connected people. Most of le bon ton, in fact. Which is perfect. High society is our only hope.”
A chill shivered down her spine. No. She could never return to London. Not only was it her personal hell, but she had no wish for Anthony to witness what the real world truly thought about her.
Besides, she didn’t see how a ten-day apprenticeship would solve anything. Or how his acquaintances would help him procure one. The more well-connected his friends, the less likely they were to dirty their gloves.
She shook her head. “It won’t work. Society doesn’t dabble in trade.”
“Not directly,” he agreed. “But who designs our clothing? Who distributes the coal? Who builds the looms?”
No respectable gentleman, that was certain. And not Anthony. Not before time ran out. “You want to be… a modiste? A factory worker? A miner?”
He sighed. “Perhaps none of those avenues is the perfect choice.”
“Thank heavens,” she muttered. The farther they were from the city, the better. He would have ruined his standing and still not earned enough money.
“The point is,” he continued, “well-connected people tend to know other well-connected people. Dukes and marquesses may not have a trade themselves, but they do invest their money in projects they deem lucrative. One of those is liable to have an opening of some sort. An apprenticeship, a secretary. I would earn more in a day than I could here all year. Apart from the gaming tables, it’s our best chance at real money. We should leave at first light. We’ll… We’ll come back for your father.”
No. She couldn’t lose her chance at finding her father! Panic gripped her. She had no wish to return to the snubs and degradation. She could not bear to have Anthony look at her with the same disgust.
Once she found her father, things would be different. She assumed the laird would have to present her as a long-lost poor relation rather than his bastard daughter, but that was no problem. It was respectable. She would no longer have to feel ashamed.
“My father is here,” she said, her heart beating frantically. “I came this far. I don’t want to leave before finding him.”
He frowned in visible irritation. “You do not approve of going to London, yet you will not let me assist you with finding your father. What am I supposed to do, Charlotte?”
“You go to London,” she blurted. “I’ll find him on my own, and then find you.”
“I’m not abandoning my wife alone in a foreign country.”
“It’s… Scotland,” she reminded him. And the only place she felt safe. Or anonymous.
“Scotland is no safer than England. You’ll still be a woman alone, and I’ll still be responsible for your safety.” He leaned forward, brow furrowed. “Why won’t you let me help you find your father?”
She gazed back at him for a long moment. At his kindness, his eagerness to help, the much-deserved pride he took in surviving another long day of menial labor. Perhaps he was right. Some assistance would be useful. After all, the longer they stayed in Scotland, the less she had to worry about going back to London. Besides, Anthony might be a huge help. He knew so many people. The uncertainty could be over within days.
At first, she hadn’t wanted her father to meet her new husband, for fear Anthony wouldn’t live up to her father’s standards. But whose standards truly mattered? If she could tell a governess to never mind her sister’s life and concern herself with living her own, then surely Charlotte could take a spoonful of her own medicine.
Perhaps this was even the way out. Her father was wealthy enough to give expensive jewels to a prostitute without a second thought. What might he do for his own flesh and blood? Not a gift. A loan. Charlotte would ensure they paid back every penny.
And if her father insisted upon providing the money as a dowry instead… Hope blossomed. She reached for her husband’s hand. Such a miracle could save Anthony’s life—and their marriage. Which became more and more real with each new day.
They might not have chosen each other, but, as each hour in his company passed, she dreaded the moment ever more when his creditors might take him from her.
Besides, if she were honest, her true concern wasn’t about her father rejecting Anthony. A laird would be willing to overlook a gentleman’s lack of fortune. It was whether her father would accept her. Anthony was high society. Charlotte was not, and nobody knew it better than her father. But, oh, how she longed to be.
However, by avoiding confrontation, she realized with a frown, she wasn’t protecting herself or Anthony. The truth was, she was procrastinating because, somewhere inside, she was still the same scared little girl she’d always been. Afraid of being laughed at, of being turned away. Afraid of never being good enough to overcome her past. Afraid even her father wouldn’t love her.
But she shouldn’t be. The laird was just as responsible for her regrettable status as her mother, was he not? He could scarcely blame a child for an act he chose to perform two-and-twenty years ago. Charlotte was a woman now. And she hadn’t come this far just to cower in the corner. Too much depended on her courage.
“All right.” She gave Anthony a shaky smile. “You can help me. I appreciate your assistance. Thank you for asking.”
He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. “What are indulgent husbands for?”
“Herding sheep?” she guessed nervously.
“Only in the mornings.” He squeezed her hand. “Please. I want to help you find your father. At least tell me his name.”
Her pulse steadied. Yes. This was a good plan. If anyone could help her, it was Anthony.
She took a deep breath, then nodded sharply. “Dìonadair.”
Anthony blinked in confusion. “He’s a protector?”
She sighed in exasperation. “No, he’s a laird. My father has noble blood. He…”
He’s a protector? Her explanation trailed off as a deep sense of foreboding sank int
o her stomach. Her husband was not the first to use a word generally reserved for men who paid courtesans for sensual favors. Yet she had never once mentioned her past to Anthony. How could he know about her mother’s history? How long had he known who she really was?
“Why?” she demanded. “Why would you say that?”
“I…” He blinked at her. “Well, you said dìonadair. I don’t claim to be an expert in Gaelic, but I always thought that word meant ‘protector.’ Or perhaps ‘defender.’ Why, is it relevant? Is dìonadair a clue?”
Her blood ran cold. Dìonadair meant protector?
It wasn’t a clue, Charlotte realized with sinking dread. It was a lie. A bald, calculated lie told to a frightened little girl who wanted desperately not to believe she was worthless. A lie to hide her father’s identity.
The man was no more than one of her mother’s many paying clients.
She had no one. There was nobody to find.
“Dìonadair was supposed to be his name,” she said hollowly, as she realized her dreams were as unsubstantial as smoke… dissipating quickly, leaving only a stench behind. “My noble father, the laird. My hero never existed.”
“I could be wrong,” Anthony said hastily. “Perhaps—perhaps Dìonadair is the second most common surname in Scotland. I wouldn’t know. I’m not a Scot. We could ask—”
She shook her head. It was so painfully obvious, now that she viewed the facts with the eyes of an adult rather than the eyes of a child. There were no facts. She was exactly what people had been telling her all along: nothing.
I see you found your dìonadair, lassie.
That’s what the drunkard had said when he’d caught them in the corridor. The drunkard who had undoubtedly overheard her in the common area earlier, saying she was looking for an older gentleman, a dìonadair.
Laird, preferably.
She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a horrified, choking laugh. In her innocent quest to save her reputation, she’d only managed to make it even worse. And for what? Approbation she should have known she could never have?
Rogues to Riches (Books 1-6) Page 9