None of that happens, though.
I sit next to her on the couch and take her hand in mine and look at the ring. It’s beautiful. Big, bright, and expensive, just what Julia likes. “What about Pierre Auden Luc?” I whisper.
She nudges me with her shoulder and smiles secretly at me. “What Nate doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
I nod and let go of her hand, smiling. “You both deserve each other.” I stand and grab my bottle of wine. “And I deserve this.”
I take a long deep pull from the bottle and walk out of her apartment without looking back at either of them.
Chapter 26
Trembling, I sit in my dark apartment, with a bottle of wine clutched to my chest. I’m no longer drinking it, though; I need my head clear right now.
Nate asked Julia to marry him. They’ve been together for a handful of months and she cheated on him with a freaking prince. Yet, Nate still wanted Julia to be his wife.
Me. I could be his secret if I wanted to.
The funny thing about all this is that it doesn’t hurt. I’m seriously sitting here waiting for my heart to break, but it isn’t, it doesn’t even feel like there’s a sliver or a crack in it at all. I feel fine. Great, actually.
The only thing I really feel is an overwhelming desire to see Dex. “You’re still holding onto the belief that he might be the love of your life, aren’t you? All because of that kiss cam? If that goddamn camera moved another foot over to the left, it would have me.”
I don’t need that decoded. And as I sit here and think about all the time Dex and I spent together and all the things that he said to me, I realize I don’t need any of that translated either. “That epic love you’re looking for doesn’t come with fireworks and explosions. It comes quiet and easy. It isn’t found in a packed stadium the instant two strangers kiss. It’s built between two people who nurture and support each other.” Dex was talking about me and him. The whole time I was chasing after a kiss, Dex was falling in love with me.
I used to think that love was supposed to feel like this all-consuming ache that you couldn’t go a day without. A sort of addiction where your bodies craved each other’s more than anyone else’s, a need so strong it cripples your soul to be without them.
Sitting here thinking about Dex feels like something is going to burst inside of me—some sort of warmth or fever—and I know I need to see him right now.
I send him a text, a short one that just says: Hey.
For the next twenty minutes, I cradle my phone in my hands waiting for his reply, but there isn’t one. I stand up and start to pace, trying to figure out what to do.
Next door, the two assholes are screwing on the couch again, and for some reason Nate really wants her to keep yelling how big his dick is.
Dex is right again. She probably is faking it. And next month or maybe next year, Prince Pierre Auden Luc will fly into New York on his private jet and Julia will tell Nate she’s working on a story and she needs to go away for a few days, and she’ll squeal the same big dick lies for Pierre Auden Luc.
Dex still hasn’t texted me back.
I rummage through my drawers looking for my address book. I know I have to have his address written inside; I send holiday cards to everyone. Even Dex. Shoved in the back of the junk drawer, I find it. Dex’s name is under C for Cock-juggling-thunder-cunt.
I rip the entire page out and grab my jacket. I can’t wait another minute. I need to talk this all out with him. I need to hear it from him how he feels, and I need to tell him how I feel.
His apartment is a ten-minute walk from mine, so I don’t brother calling for a car. It’s no wonder he always got to my place so quickly, he lives so close.
Dex’s block is lined with trees and old brownstone buildings. I didn’t take him for someone who lived in a brownstone, on a nice street; I always pictured him in some dark dingy basement with buzzing flies and a dumpster right outside.
On the front of his building, the mailbox tells me he lives on the third floor, so I rush through the front doors, through the foyer and up to his apartment. Panting, I need to catch my breath and lean on the wall next to his front door. Freaking stupid stairs. I feel hot all over and a little nauseous. And the hallway I’m standing in seems to have shrunk in the small amount of time I’ve been trying to steady my racing heart and out-of-shape lungs.
When I can stand straight again, I close my eyes and knock on his door.
I wrap my arms around myself as I wait. It isn’t cold but I’m trembling, and I’m starting to think he’s not home, or maybe this is all just a big mistake.
The sound of a latch being unlocked clicks through the hallway and the door cracks open a small bit. Dex’s bright topaz eyes flick over my face through the small opening.
“Dex?” My voice is quiet and steady, despite the shivering chaos going on inside my body.
“Nash? What…What are you doing here?”
We’re both frozen, staring at one another. He’s so close I can reach out and touch him, but he isn’t opening the door any wider, like he doesn’t want to let me inside. His gaze is locked on mine, and my heart hammers painfully in my chest. I step back and look down, feeling suddenly foolish.
“Nash?” He sticks his head out of the door farther, but he still doesn’t open it and ask me inside.
“You were right,” I blurt, lifting my head back up to him.
“I usually am. What was I right about this time?” He’s not smiling. He’s not welcoming me into his home or his life or his heart.
“About Nate. He just wanted me to be…” I trail off, when a woman’s voice says something to him from somewhere inside his apartment. Oh my God, he’s not alone.
I let out a loud breath and my eyes water. In all my selfish Nate madness, I never thought Dex would be here with someone else. I thought, with everything he said, maybe, that he felt there was something more for us. God, I am so fucking stupid.
We just keep staring at each other, until I finally look away and choke out a half-cry, half-laugh. I shake my head and take another step back. “I am so freaking sorry.” I rub the back of my neck and nervously wipe at my cheeks in case of any escaping tears. “This was inappropriate. Coming here. And I’m just so sorry.”
Dex slips himself through the wedge in the door and closes it behind him. “Nash, what’s going on?” He’s wearing a fitted shirt that clings to his muscles when he moves, making me choke out more laugh-cries. I feel like a fucking idiot right now, and I just want to run away and hide.
“I’m stupid. It’s nothing,” I clear my throat and wave my hand. “I should go. I need to go.”
Dex edges closer. “Tell me what happened.”
I smile through my tears that are suddenly blurring my perfect view of him. “Nate, um, he asked Julia to marry him and she said yes. And he asked me to be his, I don’t even know what you call it.” I laugh, swiping hard at my tears. “His sidepiece. His mistress. His fuck buddy. His secret.”
Dex stiffens. “Nash? What did you say to him?”
I shift on my feet and bounce, annoyed. “What do you think I said to him? Of course I said no. I don’t want that. Jesus, I don’t even want him anymore. He’s not worth it. I want—”
The door opens behind him and a woman’s face peeks out. “Declan, is everything okay?”
He looks to the side and nods, “Yeah, just give me a second. My friend, Nash, here is just going through something. Five minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” her voice whispers as she closes the door.
Five minutes. I’m reduced to spending five minutes on. I laugh again and sniffle. I can’t even breathe through my nose. I ran here thinking this would be some sort of a happy ending for me. Instead, tonight I’m going to have nightmares about that pretty girl’s face jutting out of the door, and Nate and Julia somewhere inside behind her making monkey sex noises. Where’s my happy freaking ever after?
“Nash, what’s happening in that beautiful head of yours right now?”<
br />
“Nothing,” I say, grabbing onto the stair railing and climbing down the first step. I try my best to smile at him, but I’m sure it looks like an awful mess. “I just didn’t know your name was actually Declan.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things you don’t know,” he whispers.
I nod and laugh. “I bet there is.”
“You were about to tell me what you wanted, Nash. Why don’t you finish that sentence before you leave?”
“You are definitely not going to want to hear me finish it,” I say.
“That just sounds like you’re afraid to tell me,” he whispers.
“Trust me on this, Declan. It’s sometimes better to stay silent.”
“One more question, then.” He steps toward me and pulls me back up to the landing. His hand is on mine and I’m waiting for him to let go when he asks, “If you had a chance to say something to him that day at the game and it would have changed everything, would you have?”
“No.” The answer is simple, easy.
His eyebrows lift and he leans closer to me. “Why?” He’s still holding my hand.
“Because he isn’t who I thought he was. He’s not nice. He’s not—”
Our eyes lock.
“Say it,” he says.
“He’s not you.”
His lips break into a slow smile, and my heart speeds up. My throat catches as I try to say his name, but there’s not even time. His arms open and wrap around me and suddenly his eyes are more hazel than brown and I want to have all his beautiful babies. I can’t control my body or my heart, and his hands are cupping my face and his lips are brushing warm and soft and perfect against mine. The smell of his cologne hugs me, the touch of his hands on my skin melts me into him.
His lips steal my breath and he moans softly, low in his throat, and pulls me harder against him. We stagger backward and catch each other just before we almost fall down the stairs. “Finally,” he breathes into my mouth as he presses me up against the wall.
My hands are around his neck, and there are fireworks and butterflies and aches, but there’s something deeper and stronger. Contentment and trust and hope and—
“Whoa, wait a second,” I say, pulling back. I point to his front door. “There’s someone inside your apartment waiting for you.”
“Yeah, Megan’s okay. She can wait.”
“Megan?”
His smile gets wider. “Yeah, Jane. Megan, my sister. I have five of them.”
“Five sisters? And one of them is in there?”
“No, all of them are in there. And you, my love, are not ready for them yet, trust me.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “But I want you to meet them, soon. I want them to meet my Ms. Perfect.”
And there it is, my happily ever…well, I don’t want to get ahead of myself or jinx it in any way. Let’s just call it my Happy for Right Now.
Thanks, karma, you’re not such a bitch after all.
From somewhere not far behind me, Karma laughs.
Jane and Dex’s story continues in Happily Ever After is so Once Upon a Time and concludes in
The Best Part of Breaking Up, both available for preorder now by tapping on the titles.
Also by Christine Zolendz
If you want to read more of my books, below is a list of my other titles.
Mad World Series (Paranormal Romance)
Fall From Grace (FREE!)
Saving Grace
Scars and Songs
Romance Suspense
Brutally Beautiful
Cold-Blooded Beautiful
Hilarious Chick-Lit
#TripleX (co-written with Angelisa Stone)
Contemporary Romance
Here’s To Falling
Best Man
Contemporary Romance/Erotica
Suite 269
Vendetta
Behind Blue Lines Series
Resisting Love
Searching for Love
Finding Love
Ravenswood
Ravenswood
Fallen Kingdom
The Awkward Adventures of Jane Nash
Are You There, Karma? It’s me, Jane.
Happily Ever After is so Once Upon a Time
The Best Part of Breaking Up
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Christine Zolendz, a USA Today Bestseller, resides in New York City with her favorite NYPD detective and their two beautiful daughters. She loves reading, writing, wine, and caramel lattes.
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Are You There, Karma? It’s Me, Jane.: A laugh out loud romantic comedy Page 17