by Cecily Wolfe
“But you knew more than most kids about it, right? Those of you from Mrs. Shaw’s class, anyway. Lots of kids don’t know enough about it to be as horrified as you two are right now. I’d rather see people wearing your expressions than showing disinterest.”
Even though Connor agreed with what Steve was saying, he wasn’t sure that eight year olds needed to be having nightmares about hiding from Nazis. Then again, in reality, there were plenty of eight year olds who once had to do that in real life, many of them lost to the terrors that kids like Connor could wake up to escape from.
“Go on, take your breaks. You guys look like someone just slapped you both.”
Connor watched Maya pull one of the books from the cart and nodded slightly at her as she did. Maybe some adventures with Jack and Annie along with nacho cheese Doritos would put a smile back on her face, although talking more about prom was not something he was looking forward to.
Chapter Eight
Maya hadn’t slept well and had to stop herself from texting Connor in the middle of the night. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before, but she didn’t really have anything to say except what she couldn’t.
When you think you’re falling in love with your best friend, the problem is the person you most need to talk to about it is your best friend, she realized, hiding under the covers when her alarm went off in the morning.
Sometime last year when Connor had spent the night, he had taken her phone and switched the usual song to something truly horrific. She hadn’t changed it since, because listening to Britney Spears whine was, without a doubt, motivation to get out of bed and turn the alarm off. The sound of her voice made Maya want to hit herself, never mind the singer.
Usually she had no trouble with math, but clearly her mind was on other matters when Mr. Thackeray asked her a question, and she had no idea what that question was or that he had called out her name after asking it. Someone on the other side of the classroom laughed, and the teacher repeated her name, which was when she realized that the laughter was about her.
“Are you with us, Maya? Can you explain how to arrive at an answer for number six, and include the answer with your explanation?”
She swallowed and nodded, determined to ignore the looks she knew were coming from the other kids. She began to speak, and while the derivative only took a few minutes to work through, it felt so much longer because of those stares.
This was ridiculous.
Connor just had to ask Kaylie and get this over with. Once the deal was done, she and Kaylie could plan the date, and then . . . oh, yeah, she had to talk to Jason, too. It wasn’t right to keep him waiting, and she was pretty sure that he thought she didn’t want to go with him. What if he had asked someone else?
Why was this so freaking stressful? Life in her little bubble with Connor had been perfect, but she had to let her mom’s comment about the prom get to her. No, it was more than that. Even if the prom hadn’t come into play, there was still those annoying feelings she had for Connor, and her growing concern over the summer and what would happen to their friendship when he left for Ohio State in August.
She stacked her books and notebooks together when the bell rang, nodding with an apologetic smile to Mr. Thackeray as she walked by him, standing at the chalkboard, on her way to the door.
“Hey, Maya!”
A male voice called out to her as soon as she stepped into the hallway, but it wasn’t Connor.
“Oh, hey, Jason. I was just thinking about you.”
Jason was nearly as tall as Connor, with smooth brown skin and dark brown eyes that always sparkled. He was smiling, as usual, and Maya wished that she could transfer her tangled emotions for Connor to this incredibly easy-to-like boy. They wouldn’t be tangled then, just a girl crushing on a boy who seemed to like her back.
Her feelings for Connor were decidedly not a crush, however.
Jason’s smile was so genuine and hopeful that she felt a little guilty, both for making him wait and for giving him the idea, even for a moment, that she had a romantic interest in him. She knew she had to make it clear that while she wanted to go to the prom with him, it was just as friends. The four of them could go, have a good time, and not have any of the drama the prom always invited in popular culture.
Without the romantic aspects, it should be all about dancing and fun. Or, in their case, not so much dancing. Their dancing exploits in the library stacks were legendary among certain patrons who had caught them, and not because either one of them was good at it.
“You were? Good thoughts, I hope,” Jason countered.
Maya wanted to kick herself. The crowd in the hall was growing, and someone pushed her aside to get by as she stood beside Jason, pulling herself back to the here and now.
“Of course. I was wondering if you had asked anyone else to the prom, or if your invitation was still open.”
He was quiet for a moment, and she watched him blink slowly a few times before his smile grew impossibly wider.
“No, but I thought you didn’t want to go. With me, at least. Does this mean you’ve changed your mind?”
She laughed, imagining how much fun the two of them were going to have together. He was just too sweet, and his excitement over the prospect that she was saying yes was contagious.
“Yes, and I’m sorry for not saying so before. I just wasn’t sure.”
They both started walking forward, falling into the sea of bodies that were working their way towards their next class. Connor would have just left government, and would be headed towards independent living . . .
“Maya?”
Her focus snapped back to Jason, and she realized that they were at a corner where two hallways met. She had to keep going ahead, but Jason was leaning towards the hall to the right.
“Can we talk more at lunch? Just come and sit with Connor and me, okay?”
He nodded, his smile intact, and she felt better for the short but successful conversation they had as she watched him walk away. Ideally Connor would see Kaylie today, and their double date would be set, with nothing left to do but decide where to have dinner and what dresses to wear.
Her mother would think both were a big deal, but it didn’t matter to Maya where they ate or what color her dress was. It was something fun to do with Connor, even if he didn’t really want to go.
She was determined to make sure he didn’t regret it.
“Kaylie!”
Connor wasn’t the yelling type, not usually, but as soon as he saw Kaylie’s trademark braid waving around a few feet away from him, caught in the mass of kids moving from one class to another, he knew he had to catch her. This was important to Maya, and he thought there was something to the idea that he wouldn’t look back in twenty years and wish that he had gone to his senior prom.
Kaylie turned, frowning into the faces around her, and Connor waved. Several students turned to look, both at him and then to Kaylie, and her eyes grew wide.
Crap, he thought, wondering why he was making a show of getting her attention. Would it be worth it, knowing that now everyone would be talking about it? It didn’t really matter, although it would be annoying to get questions about his non-existent love life, which was entirely of his own doing.
Why would he want to go on a date with any of the other girls in school when he could hang out with Maya, preferably not in a tuxedo and tie, and not with hundreds of other kids in the school gym?
Kaylie’s smile told him she understood that he was the one who had called out to her, and he attempted to keep still amidst everyone else’s movement as she pushed against the tide to reach him.
“Hey, Connor. What’s up?”
Good question. He had never asked anyone out before. It couldn’t be that hard, but unlike most things, he hadn’t really planned this one in advance.
“Uh, hey, Kaylie. I was wondering if you’re going to the prom?”
Her dark blue eyes grew wide as she answered him.
“I don’t have a date,
but I was thinking about asking someone. What about you?”
He shrugged just as someone slapped him on the back and shouted his name at the back of his head, something that happened every day, all the time.
“Maya and I were thinking of a double date.”
Kaylie looked away, and started to walk again. He kept up beside her, waiting for her response.
“What do you mean? The two of you are going together, and want to go with another couple? I’m not sure I understand.”
Connor shook his head. He wasn’t doing this right, that was for sure. Kaylie was looking at him like he was speaking a foreign language.
“No, we don’t want to go together. I mean, we do, just not as each other’s dates.”
Kaylie’s eyebrows rose and her lips were starting to pucker into a pout. They stopped at a corner where Maya would turn right at this time of the day to go to Calculus.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I know you’re a good guy, so make it quick and I’ll keep listening.”
He took a deep breath, ignoring the stares that had followed them since they first began their conversation.
“I would like to take you, as my date. Dinner first, of course. With Maya and her date.”
Maya wasn’t picky, at least when it came to most food, so she would be cool with wherever Kaylie and Jason wanted to go. If they were getting take-out, especially Chinese, that was another story.
“Are you smiling because you think I’ll say yes, after such a romantic proposal?”
Proposal? What was she saying? He was thinking of this terrible chicken and broccoli Maya and he had tried to eat while studying for a trigonometry final back in tenth grade.
“Does Maya have a dress yet?”
Kaylie was looking at him expectantly, either unaware that he wasn’t completely paying attention to her or politely ignoring the fact. Either way, he felt like an idiot.
“I don’t think so, but I’ll ask. Why don’t you sit with us at lunch and we can talk about it?”
She brightened up a bit at that, and Connor wished he didn’t have that effect on her. Or on anyone. Why should what he said or did mean that much to anyone when it came to these things? He never asked to be popular, that was for sure.
“Sure, sounds good. Thanks for asking, even if you were a little weird about it. I can’t imagine you’d be nervous asking anyone out, Connor. I mean, you’re Connor. You could go to prom with anyone you want, right?”
He shook his head.
“I wouldn’t say that, Kaylie.”
Her smile seemed genuine when he spoke her name, and he bowed his head for a moment before turning away.
That was badly done, he thought to himself. Just a guy asking a girl on a date, and while Kaylie was nice as well as pretty, she wasn’t the girl he wanted to spend his time with, at prom or any other night.
As he looked up, he saw, in the midst of everyone else in his line of vision, Maya and Jason, laughing as they looked at each other, oblivious to those around them. It should have made him glad that Maya must have successfully brought Jason on board for prom, but the idea that she was smiling like that at anyone but Conner was unnerving.
He tried to make himself as small as he could and kept walking towards his next class, which was all that separated him from lunch with Maya and Kaylie. Hopefully he could keep his focus on Dave Ramsey and the personal finance chapter they were working on in independent living. Unfortunately, he didn’t think there was a section in Dave Ramsey’s materials on how to deal with romantic feelings towards friends.
Chapter Nine
“Is Connor really dating Kaylie now? She isn’t as pretty as I am. I just don’t understand it.”
Maya rolled her eyes when she overheard the gossip in the hall as she made her way to the cafeteria for lunch. Connor this, Connor that. It was amazing how little privacy he had anymore. No one cared what she was doing, and that was fine with her.
There were a few girls she tagged along with on occasion, to a school sports event or one of their birthday parties, usually when Connor wasn’t available, but while most of the kids didn’t exactly ignore her like they had back in middle school, they were used to her telling them no when they asked her to hang out, especially boys.
And why hadn’t she ever said yes to those boys?
It might have been a recent revelation, but clearly, the reason was the one walking up to her now, with a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. What was that about, Maya wondered.
Clearly he had been successful with Kaylie, otherwise no one would be talking about the two of them. All it took was one person to see the two of them together, looking happy or cozy or whatever anyone would interpret as romantic, for the rumor mill to get grinding.
He put an arm around her when they met, and she resisted the urge to lean into him even as he pulled her closer. Before she could ask him if something was wrong, he stepped away and in front of her, walking towards their usual lunch table. When she followed with her eyes, she saw Kaylie and Jason, both sitting in the seats where she and Connor normally sat.
There were empty chairs surrounding them, where kids would sometimes stop by to say hi to Connor or, less often, specifically to Maya, while they ate. Today there was plenty of room, and also plenty of gazes on Kaylie and Jason as they waved at Connor.
And her, too, Maya supposed. She didn’t feel included, though, but that wasn’t right. Of course she was. She was the engineer behind this double date, so to speak, and a fourth of the party. Why wasn’t she excited, then? If it wasn’t for her, Connor wouldn’t be involved, nor would their dates.
Maya was really getting annoyed with herself. It was as if she was back in eighth grade, and all the romantic drama that surrounded her had caught up. Instead of being affected back when she was thirteen, it was rearing its ugly head five years too late.
She had zero experience with these feelings, and her best friend wasn’t going to be any help in giving her any advice as to how she should handle it.
Obviously.
He was acting weird, too, though. Maybe he was just tired of all this prom stuff, or maybe . . .
Maybe it was the library job. Maybe he was upset that he was up against her to get it. Maybe he was worried that she would get the position.
Of course she would, she thought. She needed it more, and she was better at the work she already did at the library.
That was a lie, and she knew it. He was at least as competent as she was, if not stronger in some areas. It was just a volunteer job, but he took it seriously. What the heck, she did too.
“You okay?”
Maya blinked and saw not only Connor but Jason and Kaylie staring at her, all three of them frowning just a little. Connor had been the one to ask, but clearly they all were either concerned or confused by whatever expression she was wearing that went along with her convoluted thoughts.
She forced a smile as she sat down beside Jason, nodding as she avoiding looking at them again.
“Yeah, just a lot on my mind, I guess.”
It wasn’t a lie.
“Anyone want anything?”
Connor waved a hand towards the lunch line and Maya glanced at him quickly before shaking her head. Kaylie stood up.
“I’ll come with you. You need anything, Jason?”