The Library War

by Cecily Wolfe

  Happy was the very last word he would have used to describe the rush of adrenaline that had coursed through him when they appeared in his vision, Maya smiling as she looked at Jason, and Jason’s face shining as he basked in her attention.

  Maybe I’m overthinking this, Conner thought, shaking his head. Maya wouldn’t go from kissing him to chasing Jason, which wouldn’t be much of a chase since Jason already had a thing for her. He knew what it was like to have Maya’s focus on him, to see her light up when he joked around, or shared something just between the two of them.

  He had never had a reason to be jealous before, since Maya’s attention had always been on him.

  Jealous? Could he really be jealous when he was the one who suggested that Maya go to the prom with Jason?

  Lunch was going to be a nightmare. Conner didn’t even want to think about prom. Was it possible to look forward to and dread seeing someone at the same time? Kaylie had talked about colors and dresses Friday afternoon, about her dark hair being the same tone as Maya’s. Jewel tones and pastels, rose and amethyst, braids and twists.

  He hadn’t thought he was paying that much attention, but now he imagined how Maya might look in a dress.

  And how Jason would be the one dancing with her.

  “You don’t look so good.”

  Jason nudged him from behind, his whisper quiet enough to avoid notice by the teacher, but loud enough to attract interest from other students sitting close by. They didn’t say anything, but Conner watched their eyes flicker from the front of the room back to him and Jason, as if they didn’t want to miss any drama that might make for good gossip.

  He shrugged and smiled thinly, shaking his head just enough to deny what Jason implied. Jason sat back, frowning, and Conner stared ahead, sure that whatever the teacher was talking about would go in one ear and out of the other, and he would have to resort to getting notes from his friend to study for the final exam.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Is it true that you’re dating Jason?”

  The question blindsided Maya, who practically threw her books in her locker in the small space of time she had to get to the cafeteria. The books had seemed heavier than usual all morning, and she slouched a bit, wishing she could go home and take a nap for the rest of the day.

  There was still a four-hour stretch of volunteer time at the library with Conner that afternoon and evening, and even though she should have felt better after talking with him that morning, the awkward encounter between the three of them and those two girls made her nervous.

  Nervous? Conner would laugh at the very idea. Whenever she expressed the least bit of doubt, he always reminded her that she was the one of the two of them who would jump without thinking, preferring to take her chances and deal with the aftermath when and if necessary. He was more careful, but always supported her in whatever venture took her into the unknown.

  Why couldn’t he support her now by backing off this job opportunity?

  “Hey, Maya. You okay?”

  Carla and Stephanie, two girls who were the first to start including her back in seventh grade, inviting her to their birthday parties two weekends apart, were standing beside her as she turned from her open locker. One of the books had fallen and was sticking out, so she gave it a shove with her foot and slammed the door shut.

  Why was everyone sneaking up on her today?

  “Oh, yeah, sorry. Just tired, I guess. And no, we aren’t dating.”

  Stephanie raised an eyebrow, and Carla frowned. Both looked unconvinced.

  Maya sighed and started to walk towards the cafeteria as they fell into step with her.

  “Seriously. We’re friends, and we’re all going to prom together, like a double date.”

  Carla and Stephanie were silent, and Maya turned to look at them. They were engaged in a silent communication that looked like they agreed that they didn’t believe Maya the least bit.

  “A double date? Doesn’t that mean you’re dating Jason? Or is your date Conner?”

  Maya walked into the cafeteria, Carla’s words reaching her ears just as she spotted Conner with Kaylie, both smiling at each other as if no one else was around.

  “Maya. We aren’t trying to be nosy, but . . . you know, we’ve always wondered why you and Conner weren’t involved. You two are perfect for each other.”

  Yeah, Maya thought wryly. Tell that to him.

  “Oh.”

  Stephanie’s voice was small and a little sad, and Maya realized that she must have followed Maya’s gaze to find Conner with Kaylie. So much for their theory about Maya and Conner.

  “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  She waved at them as she walked away, but she saw with a last glance that they were still watching Conner and Kaylie, both of whom were at the lunch table she and Conner used to share alone together.

  It had been just the two of them at that table for so long, even after Conner had become popular, with other kids stopping by, sometimes to eat, but mostly to talk for a few minutes. Somehow it was understood that the time they shared together was sacred, and no one had tried to get in the way of that.

  Of course, Jason and Kaylie had been asked to sit to talk prom and make plans, while their usual friends beckoned for them to return to their usual tables. In a matter of a few days, the four of them had become something to talk about.

  “No lunch again?”

  Conner’s voice cut through her thoughts, and she realized that she was standing at the table, staring at him.

  Way to be obvious, she almost said to herself out loud. She shook her head, both to answer his question and to make an effort to clear her mind.

  Exams, the library, prom - and college to think about. There was only room for those in her thoughts right now, she determined. Anything else, or rather, anyone else, would have to wait until graduation and summer to figure out.

  Conner had never been just anyone else, though. It was difficult to push herself to move him into some category in the back of her mind that was for later.

  She sat down beside Kaylie and smiled as the other girl turned away from Conner and to her.

  “Sorry about Friday. Maybe we can look at dresses and whatever else this weekend.” she offered, finding that her smile came easy when she was looking at Kaylie, who had only ever been genuine and kind to her.

  Kaylie brightened up, and Maya realized that she had initially been wary of her. Had Conner said anything to make Kaylie think she didn’t want to hang out with Kaylie, for prom or any other reasons? She fought to keep from turning her head and frowning at Conner, keeping her focus on Kaylie.

  “Not a problem. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Did Conner tell you about the dresses I tried on? I was explaining to him how certain colors look best on people with darker hair and eyes, but I don’t think boys are all that interested in that sort of thing.”

  Maya wanted to tell her that she wasn’t that interested either, but she could play along. It didn’t hurt to be friends with Kaylie, and to actually be a good friend to her as well.

  “I think you both will look beautiful no matter what you wear.”

  Jason’s voice was, as usual, reassuring, and Maya saw Kaylie’s excitement over dress colors calm a little, as she turned towards Jason. Maya automatically turned her own gaze to Conner, as she had a million other times, with an unspoken question.

  Did he see it too?

  Conner raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Maya knew that he could practically read her mind, except clearly when it was most important. When it had to do with how she felt about him.

  But right here, right now, there was definitely a connection between Jason and Kaylie. So why had Jason told Conner that he was interested in Maya, and why did Kaylie seem so into Conner?

  And why did Conner seem so into Kaylie a few minutes earlier?

  So focusing on her priorities, she reminded herself, was not working.

  Meanwhile, she and Conner were still looking at each other, and he looked r
elieved. Or hopeful. She had no idea.

  “You can explain all this color stuff to me this weekend, Kaylie. I have no clue about any of it.”

  Maya spoke in a rush, the words tumbling out and sounding strangely desperate. Before anyone could respond, she continued, as if she couldn’t stop herself.

  “I can’t believe we have less than two weeks before prom.”

  Kaylie and Jason groaned, but Conner was silent. Maya fought the urge to look at him again, looking instead at Jason, who was staring at her.

  When Conner was growing up, his grandfather, his dad’s father, was always goofing around. Telling jokes Conner didn’t understand, but still laughed at, because of the way his grandfather told them. He was silly, with a deep guffaw of a laugh that was catching.

  As he watched Maya’s head move back and forth, he was reminded of one of those stories his grandfather told, one that the old man had thought was hilarious but Conner didn’t quite get.

  Until now.

  Who’s On First was this old comedy routine that just sounded like two guys who were confused. Conner supposed that the funny part was the performance, but as he saw Maya’s expression shift as often as her attention did, he realized that she didn’t know what was going on between the four of them any more than he did.

  He wanted to ask who was on first but he figured that no one would get it. Besides, it was the wrong sport for him. Not that it mattered, and that just spoke to how disoriented he was becoming.

  Maya clearly saw that there was some kind of chemistry between Jason and Kaylie, just as he had. But Jason had asked him, very clearly, only Friday if he would have a problem with Jason pursuing Maya.

  In a way that was respectful of Maya’s lack of interest, of course.

  Kaylie and Jason, however, were now laughing and talking, just as they had every other day, making Conner wonder if Maya was really the girl who interested Jason.

  “We just went with black and white, since that goes with everything.”

  Jason’s words interrupted Conner’s train of thought. Black and white what?

  “It’s cutting it close for rentals, but apparently they had plenty for tall guys like us.”

  The tuxes. Right. At first Kaylie told them she thought they should match the girls’ dresses in some way, but with the time constraint decided that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Conner had been thankful that she wasn’t the kind of person who would be exacting about that sort of thing.

  “There are enough stores with dresses for us to look at, Maya, that I’m sure we’ll both find something. My mom is good with a sewing machine, so if we need alterations she can handle that.”

  Maya nodded, but it looked robotic. Conner wondered if Kaylie and Jason could tell that she wasn’t all there. Her mind was wandering somewhere else, and Conner could think of a few areas she would be focused on. Exams, of course, and the library. That job.

  He couldn’t wait until that was settled and they could get past it. Maybe he could make it up to her over the summer, and she wouldn’t be upset when he got the job and they could spend time together that would lead to . . .

  “Wake up.”

  Maya’s hand slammed on the table in front of him, and Conner nearly stood up in surprise. He thought of his grandfather yelling, good-naturedly, who’s on first?

  When he started laughing, Maya sat back, and while she looked confused, there was a small smile on her face. Jason started laughing, too, although Conner assumed it was because Maya had slapped the table and shocked him from his daze. Kaylie made a humming sound that Conner couldn’t quite interpret.

  “Sorry, just uh, trying to organize my thoughts. Or something.”

  Or something, Conner thought, what a stupid thing to say. Maya was frowning, and Kaylie looked confused. Jason kept laughing, shaking his head as Conner tried to apologize with a smile after his sort-of explanation.

  “I never understood why they add a prom to the end of senior year, when we have to worry about exams and college plans. I guess it’s to distract us, give us something fun to think about, so don’t make it harder than it has to be, Conner. We’ll have a good time.”

  That’s what Conner was worried about. Making sure Jason and Kaylie had a good time, in spite of him and Maya.

  Of course, he wanted Maya to enjoy the dance, too, but at this point, he would be happy with a truce between them.

  No, that wasn’t true. He tried to stop himself from focusing on Maya, as he noticed how carefully Kaylie was watching him. Had Maya told her they had an argument? She never confided anything to anyone but Conner, and it worked the same way for him.

  If they couldn’t talk to each other about what was going on between them, who else could they talk to?

  Chapter Twenty One

  Lunch had been weird, and that was an understatement.

  Jason and Kaylie had seemed okay, and right now, keeping them from being dragged into this ridiculous problem between her and Conner was a priority. Getting past this drama wasn’t going to be as simple, she knew.

  Why was he being so stubborn? It wasn’t like him at all.

  Maya struggled to focus on her afternoon classes, staring out the window and watching birds fly in their formations as teachers droned on. The different shapes the birds made seemed so effortlessly coordinated, each one of them working in sync with the others. Did they call to each other? Was there a leader that reminded them of where they should be, and where they should be headed? Or did they just know how to move together by instinct?

  She and Conner had always known how to be together like that, she considered, holding back a sigh. They didn’t have to talk or explain, it was just an awareness they had, cultivated over time but honestly, something that had been intuitive from the beginning of their relationship.

  Conner had come to help her once when she was babysitting, during a hot summer when she had to take her charges to a birthday party at one of those horrible pizza places with animatronic figures. He thought it would be fun, but Maya knew better.

  “You have no idea what you’re in for, except some free pizza and soda. I promise you, this place is not fun.”

  He had shaken his head at her and waved off her warning.

  “You’re just tired of babysitting, which I get. I don’t have an excuse to hang out with Cheesy Critter and his band of giant rodent robots, so I’m in.”

  It was the summer between eighth grade and ninth, between middle school and high school, just before Conner had hit the popularity jackpot. Maya had noticed a few other kids from school at the pizza place, but none of them paid any attention to Maya or Conner.

  They found the birthday party and settled the kids Maya was babysitting in with their friends when Conner had told her he was going to check the place out. She shook her head at him, knowing that all there was to find was a grimy plastic play area, video games, and screaming children.

  Twenty minutes later, a sense of dread came over her, like a wave of humidity that had been slapping them all down that summer, not unusual for Ohio. The air conditioning in the building was on, though, and along with the uneven blasts of cold air, she felt an alternating pulse of alarm.

  How long did Conner need to get a look at everything in this huge room?

  Maya leaned over and asked the birthday boy’s mother if it was okay for her to leave her kids for a few minutes so she could use the restroom, and as the woman nodded, Maya tried to stand and walk away without betraying her fib or her concern.