by Anna Edwards
“Some of the Old English laws are pretty funny, when you think about them?”
Joanna nods in agreement and says, “They are. I did some research after my father told me about the window tax. I’m...I was a bit of a geek for random facts. Did you know it’s illegal to carry a ladder on a pavement in the London Metropolitan Police District?”
“Really!” I chuckle at the absurdity of the law.
“Truthfully, well as truthful as the Internet is, every time you see a workman carrying a ladder on a pavement in London, he’s breaking the law.” Joanna’s face lights up, and for the first time since I’ve met her, I see her smile. It’s beautiful. Underneath all the sorrow and fear is an amazing woman trying to get out. “I’m sorry…I’m talking too much.” The smile instantly disappears when she catches me staring at her, and she cowers back in on herself as though preparing for punishment.
“No. I like it.” I respond immediately, feeling the need to placate her worries. “Tell me another.”
“I...I…” She hesitates, fighting within herself to determine what she should do. Then she flicks her head to the side and looks out of the car window at the surroundings. The house we were staying in is far behind us now, and we are speeding down the motorway in the direction of my family home.
“Is it just us going to the new house?” She turns back to face me.
I nod.
“Yes, my father’s in trouble with the law. He’s wanted on a murder charge. He didn’t do it, but we can’t prove that yet, unfortunately. Nicholas Cavendish has provided the police with information that somehow suggests my father is responsible. We’ll eventually clear his name, and he’ll be able to return home. Until then, it’ll be just us and a few members of staff at Hamilton Manor.”
“Nobody from where we’ve been staying?”
“Joanna is something wrong? Has someone upset you there? Camilla? One of the guards?”
“No,” she replies instantly. “It’s just everyone there knows what happened to me. What I was forced to do. I’d like to be somewhere people don’t know… if that makes sense?”
“Of course.” I tentatively reach out and take her hand. I’ve limited physical contact between us, not wanting to scare or give her the wrong impression, but this feels like the right thing to do. “I understand. No one except me will know what you’ve been through unless you choose to tell them. Should you need Camilla to visit for some female company, then I’ll arrange it. I promise you, Joanna, in my home, you’ll be safe. Nobody will force you to do anything against your will.”
She turns back to look out the window, and we fall into an easy silence for a few moments.
“Salmon.” Joanna suddenly announces.
“Salmon?” I query confused. “Would you like it for dinner?”
“No. It’s one of those old laws. You can’t handle salmon in suspicious circumstances.”
I chuckle at the revelation.
“No dancing around the lounge with a dressed salmon at Christmas then?”
She shakes her head and proceeds to tell me for the remainder of the journey about how beached whales have to be offered to the Queen first.
When we pull up the driveway to my home, I’m relieved to finally be back. I hadn’t exactly expected to leave, and a lot has changed since I was drugged and taken by my father. I help Joanna out of the car and show her around the house. I’ve put us in adjoining rooms again. I know the last few nights I’ve stayed with her as a comfort blanket, but I don’t want to presume anything tonight.
“Do you like it?” I ask as she strokes her hand over an antique dressing table. The room she’s in is painted a pale pink with a silk wallpaper hung on one wall. Everything in the room is a family heirloom, including a silver brush and comb my mother used to use, which rest on the dressing table. When she looks out the window, she’ll be able to see all the beautiful roses in blossom that Victoria loves so much.
“It’s beautiful. I love it.”
“I’m glad.”
She picks up the silver mirror and stares at herself in it.
“This looks old. You should put it away somewhere safe.”
“It’s Victorian. From my mother’s family. We don’t really have anything to do with them. Apparently, they didn’t approve of her marriage to my father.”
Joanna places the mirror down and comes over to stand by me.
“Where is your mother? Is she here?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Her family were right…the marriage didn’t work. She and my father are still married for appearance sake, but they live separately. I don’t see her that often.”
“I’m sorry. My parents are similar.” A sadness crosses her face.
“It’s a curse of society marriage, which we won’t repeat.” The words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to truly think about their implication.
“What do you mean?” Joanna asks, her brows knitting together in confusion.
“That’s a matter for a later discussion. As I said, we need to ensure you are healed first.”
She turns away from me and looks over at the bed. Her shoulders slump.
“Will you be joining me in here?”
“If you need me, yes. Again, my room is just next door.”
“You promise me nobody here knows about me?”
I don’t know what propels me toward her, but I suddenly find my arms wrapped around her waist, and her slight body pulled closer to mine. She doesn’t flinch but melts into my embrace as though she welcomes the comfort I can offer. With all the abuse Joanna has suffered, alarm bells should be ringing in my head, alerting me to the fact she hasn’t run screaming from my touch, but they don’t. Instead, I enjoy her warmth against me.
“I promise you. You’re safe here. If I’m not around, I will have a guard with you at all times, so the Cavendish brothers can’t get to you. You’re mine to protect now, and I will with my life. Trust me.”
Joanna goes up onto her tiptoes and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.
“Thank you. You don’t deserve any of this.”
“Hush.” Placing my finger over her mouth, I let it linger there, and she presses her lips against it. There is an undeniable sexual attraction growing between us. For the first time, I start to entertain the thought that this marriage could be more than just a means of offering her protection. I’ve seen glimpses today of the happy woman she can be. I want more of that. I let go of her and walk to the bookshelf in the corner of the room. Flicking through the titles, I snort out a laugh to myself when I see just the book for her, and pulling it out, I hand it to her.
“Here.”
She looks down at it.
“The Guinness Book of Records?”
“I thought you might enjoy it. Considering your passion for random and obscure facts. I’m going to go and make a few calls. You can enlighten me with your new-found knowledge at dinner.”
She clutches the book to her chest, a big smile blossoming over her face. I adore that smile. It lights up the room and warms my heart in the knowledge there is hope she can overcome her past.
“Thank you, Theo.” She looks down at the book and back up to me. “I’m so glad to have met you.”
“Me, too.”
I head for the door, but as I reach for the handle I stop, remembering something I need to tell her. As I turn back, Joanna is settling herself in a comfortable seat ready for a few hours of reading.
“I almost forgot. I’ve arranged for your mother and father to join us at dinner in a week. They are desperate to see you again.”
Chapter Six
Joanna
“It’ll be ok.” Theo reassures me with a squeeze of my hand. He’s the only person I’ll allow to touch me. Yesterday evening, we ate together at the large table in his dining room, and I sat next to Theo while he took his place at the head of the table. At one point, when leaning over to place a plate of grilled chicken, vegetables, and potatoes in front of me, the butler accidentally touched my
arm—I immediately jumped up from my chair, sending the food flying across the table and straight into Theo’s lap. I was mortified at my own stupidity, but Theo did his best to calm me down. I feel so lucky it’s him I’m spending my time with and not his father. Maybe my stars have changed? It’s been a week, and I’ve not been raped or forced into any sexual act. I feel sort of normal, or as close to normal as I’m ever likely to experience again in my life. I’m anxious, though. I’m so very nervous of meeting my father as I don’t know how he’ll react, and there’s no way of telling. When I was a young girl, he was kind enough to inform me of my fate, which is something I’m aware Victoria’s father never did for her. He was also different from Amelia’s father because he didn’t insist on training me for the trials. I was told what I would need to do but never forced to try them out beforehand. If I wanted to attempt something, it was my choice…but I didn’t. I wanted to enjoy my childhood before the inevitable came. Will he be angry at me for not succeeding in becoming Nicholas’ wife? He must know it was Viscount Hamilton who bought me, and not Nicholas? Will my father be able to end this charade once and for all? My mind has been filled with tumultuous thoughts all night, trying to envisage all the alternative ways today could go. But every possibility I considered descended into screams when I imagined it was Viscount Hamilton who came to see me instead of my father.
“I promise you,” Theo reassures me again as a stray lock of hair falls from the neat French plait I have braided into my long blonde hair, to keep the frizz at bay. Reaching forward, Theo tucks the loose strand behind my ear. His touch is so different to others and sends warmth cascading through my body.
“What if he’s angry at me?”
“Angry?” Theo shakes his head in confusion. We’re sitting together on a sofa in his lounge. The room is formal in style but with a touch of modernity here and there.
“Because I didn’t win? Because of what happened to me?”
I give Theo a couple of alternatives.
“He’s your father. He’s been worried about you. The second I spoke to him to tell him you were safe and under my protection, he was thrilled. He’s been worried sick about your whereabouts over the last year. The Cavendish brothers prevented him from going to the police. He believed you were dead and became a defeated man. I’ve never heard so many screams of joy when I told them you were safe. It’ll be all right. You’ll see.”
“I know,” I reply and find myself leaning into Theo. Am I becoming too dependent on him? I pull away again, but he tugs me back to nestle under his arm.
The door-bell rings, and I almost jump out of my skin.
“I don’t think I can...” Getting to my feet, I race for the door, which I know leads me away from the hallway and toward my bedroom. A strong arm wraps around my waist and pulls me into a solid mass of heat.
“You can,” Theo whispers into my ear. “I’ll be with you the whole time. I promise.”
My breaths come out in ragged heaves, but I allow the warmth of Theo’s body to bring me comfort.
“You’ll stay next to me the entire time? I don’t want them to touch me. Please. You have to promise they won’t. I can’t have them touch me, yet. Please, Theo.”
“You have my word.”
A knock comes at the door opposite to the one we’re currently standing by, and I allow Theo to lead me back to my seat. He settles me down but remains standing.
“Ready?” he whispers again.
“Yes,” I reply, knowing I need to face my parents at some point.
“Come in.”
I can feel my heart almost beating through my chest as I watch the door open. It’s unhurried and tormenting as if in slow motion like when an old fashioned film breaks. My mother and father enter the room, Edgar and Sarah Nethercutt, the Earl and Countess of Linton. They’re still just as regal as I remember. My mother wears a skirt suit in a teal color, and my father is dressed in a formal suit with a monogrammed tie. They look like they are off for an afternoon tea, not meeting the daughter they haven’t seen in a year. Theo is wearing a shirt and smart trousers, but I’m just in a long jumper and leggings because I’ve lost so much weight I don’t really fill anything else out. It’s easier to hide it this way.
“Lord and Lady Linton.” Theo extends his hand out for my father to shake it. My mother lets out a whimpered gasp when she sees me. I can tell she’s been crying from the red rims around her eyes—I hate the fact she’s upset. She’s my mother, and I don’t want her to be distressed. She’s not a part of this secret society. She’s merely an obedient wife who’s done as she’s been told. Women have no place as rulers in my world. We are toys to our men’s whims.
“Theodore, a pleasure.” My father shakes Theo’s hand. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for our daughter.”
“Joanna.” My mother steps forward and tries to bring me into an embrace, but I shuffle farther behind Theo. I can’t let them touch me, and I wonder why? They are my parents—they wouldn’t hurt me. Except, that’s not true, because my father freely gave me to Nicholas for the sale. He’s the reason I’ve suffered as I have. If he’d left England, taking me and my mother and hiding us away, then none of this would’ve happened. I drum my fists against my father’s chest as the anger bubbling inside me explodes,
“This is all your fault!” I scream with tears streaming down my face. I bash his chest over and over again. All my tension and fear is being dispelled from my body through my fists into bruising punches. Nobody moves for a few moments. I vaguely hear my mother’s weeping getting louder, but I’m too focused on the fury seeping from me. Eventually, Theodore wraps his arms around me and pulls me away.
“Enough,” he orders, and I bury my head in his chest and allow the tears to soak through into his shirt.
“What did they do?” my father questions, his voice quivering with emotion.
“We don’t know the full details, yet.” Theo’s deep voice rumbles through his chest, and I allow it to soothe me further. “I’m not sure we’ll ever know, but the main thing is Joanna is safe.”
“And married.” my father adds in a poignant tone.
“In name only.”—Theodore’s voice is tense—“I’ll not force her into anything she’s not ready for.”
“Good,” my father answers.
Theodore turns me around, so we are able to sit down together. When I finally lift my head, I notice my father and mother are sitting opposite us. Both have lines of worry etched on their faces. My mother looks older…so much older than I remember her being a year ago. This has been hard on her. She wanted to run away, but it never happened. My head hurts, my body hurts, and I want to go back to sleep.
“Joanna.” My father leans forward in his chair. His eyes are full of kindness and love. He’s sorry for what happened. I can see it in that moment and let out a whimper. “If I could have changed anything about that night, I would have. You’re my only daughter, my little princess, and I love you so much.” He stops himself when his voice breaks and takes a deep breath. “I’ll do anything it takes to put a stop to your hurt. You have my word. Theo is a great man. I couldn’t wish for a better husband for you.”
“Thank you.” My response comes out like the squeak of a little mouse.
“How do you feel?” my mother asks.
“Good.” I find my voice. “Theo has been feeding me well. It will take a while, but I’ll be all right.” I repeat the motto, which Theo used to calm me down before my parents entered the room.
“You will.” Her mouth smiles at me, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I know she fears for my mental stability after just witnessing the attack on my father.
The butler re-enters, and Theo looks up at him.
“My apologies, sir, there is a phone-call for you. It’s one you really need to take.”
The butler taps his hand three times against his leg. It’s like a code to convey a message to Theo. He immediately gets to his feet, but I grab his hand.
“I
won’t be long. I have to take this.”
“But…”
“You’ll be fine.” He smiles at my parents and then looks back to me. “You’ve got this.”
I reluctantly let him go, and he leaves the room. My mother, father, and I sit in silence.
“Theo’s a nice man,” my mother observes.
“He is. He’s being very patient for a man who’s suddenly found himself married,” I reply and bring a finger up to my mouth and nibble on what’s left of my tattered nails.
“Not the Duke but still a catch, I suppose,” my father adds, and I open my eyes wide at him. “It’ll have to do for now. At least I’ll be second in line to the title when we get rid of the brothers. My deal with Viscount Hamilton has gone well.” My father gets to his feet and comes to sit on the chair next to me. He brings his arm around my neck and pulls me closely to him. I don’t like the touch—it suffocates me and doesn’t give me any of the warmth that Theo’s does. It freezes me with its icy intentions.
“I’ve got a message from Viscount Hamilton, my little Joanna. He might not be here with you, but he hopes you are still working hard at your task.” He squeezes tighter around my neck. “Given Theo’s declaration that he’ll never make you do anything you don’t want to, though, I think not.”
“Edgar, please,” my mother begs but is silenced instantly with a furious growl from my father.
“Get Theo’s child inside you before the week is out, or there will be consequences, Joanna. Do you understand?” My father is cutting off my breathing now. I can’t believe he’s in league with the Viscount. I hoped for a father who’d be sorry for giving me away, but no, I have a devil who is still using my body and mind to get his own way. I try to speak, but I can’t. I nod my head instead. I know the consequences he speaks of will involve me being returned to the Viscount, and I don’t ever want to see him again.
“Good girl.”
He lets go of me, and I gasp for air. My heart breaks all over again when I turn to my mother, and she immediately looks away and down to the ground. A true mother would fight for me, but she’s too lost in her own tale of sorrow and despair.