“Goose feathers in the pilla top.”
“Oh my god, we’re getting one just like it.”
He agreed as he handed over Leo’s cup and sat on the edge of the bed. “Our bed. That’s intimidatin’.”
“Oh? Why is that intimidating?”
Squirming, he didn’t know what to say. That had come out before he knew it was going to. “Kinda permanent, ain’t it? I mean, I’m not complainin’ or nothin’, but…”
“You’re scared. That’s scary, thinking beyond today, and that’s my bad. I shouldn’t have said that. We’re going day by day, Mac, that’s it. I don’t want you worrying over the past, but I don’t want you worrying over the future either.”
With those few words he felt better, and then felt guilty for feeling better. The thing was, the sound of the two of them being together forever was wonderful, but it was true, thinking about more than right that minute was too much.
“Okay, Leo. One step at a time, okay.”
Leo grabbed his hand, holding it loosely, whispering, “Some of this is new to me too, baby. I didn’t plan to come here and fall head over heels for the cowboy by friend Shan wanted me to help.”
He’d never know how much that helped. Knowing he wasn’t the only one feeling out of sorts. “Okay, so what’s the plan today, boss?”
“Boss? Mac, that’s good, I like that, boss. Um, well, you let the hands go, give them the severance, and then, we head to the bank. I have some ideas to turn this place around, get it back in the black, eventually, anyway. If we can keep them from coming after us with everything they have.”
“What would do all that, Leo? I mean, we’re not getting more cows. We can sell the horses, but they’re not going to bring in all that much. The little bit of equipment we have left won’t.”
“We’re not selling anything like that.” Leo set his cup on the nightstand, turning on the bed, and motioning for Mac to do the same. “We’re going to fix the place up for tourists. I mean, listen, you have a piece of property here that is a part of history. Some of it sucks, yeah, but it’s history. Your ancestor fought with Houston, I’ve found a few pieces of evidence of it, instead of simply taking it on family legend. If we fix this place back to where it should be, we can invite people here, like maybe a dude ranch, but with a twist.”
“Dude ranch?” He narrowed his eyes at Leo, but he was really trying to imagine it, city folk running around the place, riding on the poor horses as they bounced up and down, coming across rattlesnakes, the liability alone would kill him. “That ain’t gonna work, Leo.”
“Hear me out, Mac. There are things called air B&Bs now. Have you heard of them?”
“I heard o’ B&Bs. People come to stay for a night or two.”
Leo nodded, his grin spreading. “Exactly. Only this is on a website. People want other places to stay besides tired old motels and hotels, and even the normal bed and breakfast option is out of style. People want someplace that feels a little more like home. There are some that have the visitors help around the place for part of the rent. There are niches like places just for those looking for certain amenities. For this…a gay dude ranch, air B&B all rolled into one.”
Before it fully lit in his mind, he let out a loud guffaw, then continued to laugh until his side cramped. He may have felt bad about laughing at Leo’s idea, if not for the way Leo was smirking at him, that same, sexy smirk he seemed to get a lot in Mac’s presence.
“Are you done?” Leo asked, when Mac was taking in air to replace all that he’d lost in the laughter.
“Leo, yer crazy, man. Around here? A bunch of…of us? For one, what would they come here for? Another, my neighbors ain’t gonna ‘preciate having a bunch of gay guys trapesin’ ‘round, kissin’ an’ such.”
As hard at Leo rolled his eyes, Mac figured he probably saw grey matter. “Jesus.”
“Well! What the Sam Hill are ya thinkin’?”
Leo cupped his cheek and grew serious. “Baby, your neighbors won’t see anything, unless they drive out here with binoculars, then that’s on them. This place is out of the way, beautiful, there’s a creek, trees in nice hideaway spots, horses to ride, cowboys to stare at.”
“Wait, wait, okay, if you ain’t pullin’ my leg, where are we gettin’ the cowboys yer talkin’ ‘bout? And the money to fix things up, and everythin’ else that it would take?”
He watched Leo swallowing, a long deep one, and right away, he knew the answer before Leo said it. “I have some money.”
“No! Now, you helpin’ me with my head, that’s one thin’, but there’s no way I’m takin’ yer money!”
“It wouldn’t be a gift, or even a loan, Mac. It would be an investment. And besides, this all goes to shit if they won’t extend the loan and let us catch up on the mortgages.”
He wanted to scream and holler about it, but then he remembered a plea he’d made a few years back, and it stopped the raging right in the middle of his throat. He went to the dresser, the old thing with the huge mirror in the back, where his mother had combed her hair each morning.
“I…I, uh, lied to ya.”
“About what, Mac?”
“Oh, ‘bout bein’ ‘round my community, as you call it. It was, ‘bout a year or so after I got my own place. I wanted it to begin with, so I could meet some people, you know.”
“Yeah, Mac, I know,” Leo agreed, his voice even.
“Well, I was scared to go inta one of them places. Didn’t know what ta expect, but I fin’lly got up my nerve and went. Boy, did I wanna run out of there fast, but I didn’t. I stayed, met a guy, then the next night, met another. I’d never had so much fun, but I started gettin’ real stupid, and…”
Leo got up and was behind him, his hands sliding over Mac’s back. “You weren’t being safe, right?”
Mac met in eyes in the reflection of the mirror and nodded. “Leo, one of ‘em came to me, tol’ me he was positive. I never been so scared in my life.”
“Most of us have been there, honey. How is this revelation telling me you don’t want a gay B&B? Are you afraid you’d do it again?”
“Oh, hell no. I learned my lesson when the test came back clean. I cried and hollered and drank a fifth o’ whiskey to celebrate. I never done it again, no sirree. That ain’t it. I jus’…I thought they was right, Leo. Daddy, all the good ol’ boys, that gay people were bad, so I went two years before I ever got laid again, and I let myself believe it all. Since then, I get in an’ out, don’t talk much. Don’t know as I can face ‘em, Leo. I’d feel like a liar.”
Leo turned him, holding him, and that shocked him enough. “Baby, we all feel dirty at one time or another. Hard not to, with all the people shouting it at us, especially our own parents, the churches, all of it. You had a scare, and it’s a real, fucked up scare that our community deals with every single day. No one can judge you for that. I don’t.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I don’t. I think it’s even a better thing to do this, then. You need these people in your life. You need to see that we are weird, and smart, and blond, and brown eyed, and tall and crippled, and all the things all other people are.”
He nuzzled his face in Leo’s neck, feeling like a child, but the most important thing about it was that he felt protected and loved. It had been a very long time since he’d felt like that.
He was soon being held by the shoulders, the grip on them almost painful. “Go, let your boys go. Tell them you may need them back eventually, but it’s not fair to keep them here. Then, you and I will go to the bank.”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
“Oh, by the way, you’re never allowed to sleep around with a bunch of guys again without a condom. And if this works out? You and me? You can’t at all.”
Warmed, giddy in ways he’d never been before, Mac tried not to show it. “Got it.”
The meeting with the hands didn’t go as badly as he thought. They all shook his hand and vowed to be back when he was able to have them, and Teddy still
wanted to refuse to go. “I’ll tell ya what, Mac. I’ll come by in my spare time, give ya a hand.”
“I’d like that, Teddy, but ya don’t gotta work. How ‘bout ya come back for visits.”
He felt drained already when he returned to the house. What surprised him was seeing Leo loading boxes from the four-wheeler into his camper. He jogged over, grabbing the last box to carry in, and once he sat in on the table with the other two, he finally got to ask, “What’s all this?”
Leo huffed and sat at the table, waving a hand over the boxes. “This is the stuff from the barn loft. My reason for bringing it here is twofold. One, it’s too fucking hot and dusty in that loft to work on this stuff there, which almost made me reconsider reason two. I’d like to convert the barn into extra living quarters. The loft is big, could be really nice if we clean it out, put up some windows. The barn itself could be four separate rooms, done right, and a nice big bathroom.”
“And where am I gonna put the stuff in it?”
“Mac, seriously? You have a dozen outbuildings in this area alone. Sheds almost as big as that barn. It’ll be a while before you have cattle again, so you have plenty of space for the hay and tools in the other buildings. The horses are already squared away in the stable.”
The wall was cold where he leaned, and he felt the swamp cooler blowing in his face. That helped, his mind so jumbled with thoughts and fears that the cool seemed to freeze it, slowing it to a crawl. “I guess that sounds okay. Lotta work, lotta money.”
Leo took his phone from the pocket of his jeans and tossed it to Mac. “Pin is 125543. The screen should open to the figures.”
Mac pressed his finger over the right sequence and he saw was a list of numbers on a note in Leo’s phone was. “This is gibberish to me, Leo.”
“No, it’s not. Look closer.”
He’d maybe never understand Leo’s confidence in him. What he’d first thought was an algebra problem became dimensions, the X’s in the middle of each number had confused him. Under each were more numbers, and it came to him quickly. “Each of the bedrooms, the bathroom, fine, fine, but how they gettin’ up to the loft? There ain’t dimensions for stairs.”
“Spiral stairs. I figure we can do the whole thing in industrial/rustic style, give the whole package that, and you’d have a lot to work with here already.”
Leo was beside him, showing him on the phone what he meant by using the industrial style. “I figure we can find a lot of stuff at flea markets, salvage yards around here and save a bunch of money.”
“Don’t need to. I have a lot of this kind of thing right here on the ranch.”
Leo grabbed his phone back and squealed, “How much? And where?”
It was finally his turn to smirk. “Oh, all those outbuildin’s you were jus’ a bitchin’ ‘bout!”
Leo kissed him smack on the lips and spun him around, which wasn’t easy with the small space in the camper. “This is fabulous! I think this place could make a killing, then we’ll get some cattle, maybe let the guests help out around here. Mac, I know you have reservations, but try to see it, okay?”
The thing was, he already could. What’s more, the joy it seemed to create in Leo, that his vision could actually work, but also that he was helping Mac, that made it better still. “I’ll believe all of it when the banker says okay.”
Leo’s smile faltered some but didn’t fail completely. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. I have no idea how you guys do it, the way you relate to one another in that good ol’ boy way. I’ve seen it happen, but I’ve never been able to recreate it, no matter how I’ve tried.”
Squirming some, and trying not to look away from him, he admitted, “You’ll never be a good ol’ boy, Leo. Not ever. Even the black folk that make their way here, with ranches and such, they ain’t ever gonna be part of the club until all the old good ol’ boys are dead and buried and their kin stops believin’ they knew best.”
“Oh, I see,” he said, the smile finally gone.
Mac ducked in to kiss him quickly. “I don’t feel that way. You know that, right?”
“I had my dick in your ass a few hours ago. I believe you.”
Mac chuckled and nodded as he said, “That’s true, and a good test of my feelin’s.”
Chapter Ten
Leo showered, and Mac watched him dressing, wearing a silk shirt, tie, putting some kind of makeup on a pimple he had on his cheek, then set diamond earrings into both lobes and he was practically choking on his own tongue.
He didn’t want to criticize, but he also needed the extension and the understanding from the bank. He hated himself for thinking it, but he had to speak up, laying it all out on the table. “Leo, uh, you can’t look like that if we’re goin’ inta my daddy’s bank.”
He turned from the mirror over the dresser, running hands over his shirt and tie. “You don’t like purple?”
“I don’t mind it, and I happen to think ya look good enough to eat, but I ain’t the one you gotta impress. Unless yer thinkin’ o’ stickin’ your dick up the banker’s ass or make him fall for ya, yer not gonna make the impression ya think ya are.”
His shoulders visibly slumped as he laughed at himself. “I look like I’m ready to go into a board meeting in Dallas, not meet with a small-town banker. Shit.”
“No big deal, Leo. I think you look good.”
He strode to him, kissing him so deeply, it nearly knocked him off his feet. “Well, then I’ll wear it later. We’ll have a nice dinner, sit in front of the fire…”
“I’ll hold ya ta that.”
It was strange looking through another man’s clothes to find something to wear that wouldn’t offend or put off the person they needed to beg for help. When he came across a plain pair of tan pants and a polo shirt, he held them out to Leo, who took them with a scowl. “These are my work clothes.”
“Well, yer gonna work, alrighty.”
He wore his best jeans and a western shirt that didn’t have holes or stains, then they left in his pickup, while Mac gave him some pointers. “Let me do most o’ the talkin’, and when you do talk, don’t…don’t over city ‘em.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ya know, the way you talk all proper like. Don’t git real technical or high ‘n mighty.”
He didn’t want to hurt Leo’s feelings or offend him, but he had to be as blunt as he could. When he heard Leo chuckling, he relaxed. “I guess I do that, huh? It took me a long time to kick my own accent, learn to speak well so I’d be taken seriously in business atmospheres.”
“You had an accent?”
“Yeah. A deep Florida accent. Not so much southern like you’d recognize, like Georgia or Alabama. It’s got some mixtures of Spanish, you know, like Cuban, Puerto Rican, then a little Italian, some say, but I don’t hear it. Then, I’m black and Asian, mostly raised in a black neighborhood, though, so we had an even different way of speaking than the white folks and Hispanics around us. I go home now and can’t get enough of hearing it, but I never let myself slide back to speaking that way. It’s too hard to stop.”
Mac thought about the way he spoke, in contrast with Leo and knew immediately what he meant by hard to stop. “I don’t think I could do it.”
“You could. It’s not easy, though. Besides, I like your accent. It’s sexy and it fits you. That rugged, Texas cowboy twang, the way your lips move when you speak…”
Side-eyeing him, Mac grumbled, “Shut up.”
“Shy. I like that too.”
He knew he was blushing. The rearview mirror showed how bright red his face was, his tan hat almost glowing from the redness. “Don’t make me blush before we go in there. And don’t talk about gay stuff. No, I don’t wanna hide no more, but this ain’t the time to flash about.”
“I know, baby, as far as anyone is concerned, I’m helping you manage the estate. I’m there more for moral support than anything, and if there is something else you need. I trust you to be able to handle it.”
Ma
c nearly pulled the truck over as he heard that. That was something he wasn’t used to hearing.
“Mac, you okay?”
“What if I can’t do this?”
“You can, and you will. If you want what I have planned for us this evening, you’ll do it.”
Mac swerved a little, glad the two-lane highway was empty of other cars. “What’s that? You just said dinner and a fire.”
“That’s later, Mac. When we’re hungry and tired from all the fun I’m going to have with you, we’ll go inside, I’ll cook for you for once, and then we’ll lay in front of the fire, so I can show you my romantic side. That’s later though.”
“Well…what’s before that?”
“I know we have work to do. We need to keep the place up while we’re fixing what needs fixed, getting ready for guests, if this works out with the bank. Which it will. Right in the middle, though, I’m going to find you and then work out a dark fantasy I’ve been having about you since I first saw you, and you toured me around the place.”
If he was trying to divert Mac’s attention from the upcoming meeting, it worked. Mac had had a few fantasies along the way of getting to know Leo. “Give me a hint.”
In the deepest, grittiest voice, Leo growled, “It has to do with the barn, some of that lasso rope and my tongue.”
More swerving as he laughed, though his dick was springing to life, tightening his damn pants. “Okay, ‘nough o’ that! I want to get us there in one piece!”
Sitting in the lobby while they waited for the vice president, Mac felt his hands start to shake. Taking his mind from that, from all the business that lay ahead and the very real possibility that no matter how much confidence Leo had, the banker could laugh in his face, he thought about after. After it was all over, no matter how it turned out, he wasn’t alone. He wouldn’t drive home alone, he wouldn’t sleep alone. There would be a man there with him, loving him, holding him. A man who had confidence in him and saw all the good in him. The good Mac didn’t know was there.
Remember the Alamo (Legacy Book 1) Page 9