“Naw, don’t hang up. Keep the phone in your lap while they go over whatever bullshit scam you’re running on them. You ain’t slick, Kia. I know you trying to get a break from a nigga, low key. But let me be clear, there’s no way in hell you’re gonna walk away from a nigga living. Tell whoever that is you wanna be discharged right fucking now,” he yelled loud enough for the whole hospital to hear.
I was so thrown off and in shock seeing Xavier Peterson standing by my bedside instead of the shift nurse, that I dropped my phone into my lap, when I should have hung up.
“How’s the beautiful Mrs. Johnson doing?” Xavier asked sweetly.
My eyes bucked, and I was shaking. I was nervous as hell Spade had heard him. I didn’t want him popping up here.
“Is that him?” he whispered extremely low.
I nodded with my eyes bucked out wide. My words were stuck in my throat as I listened to Spade yell my name over the receiver. I was so afraid that my heart was damn near pounding out of my chest. Spade was going to have my ass in a full-body cast—or worse.
“Hello! Jakia!”
Mr. Peterson grabbed the notepad from off my eating tray, then scribbled a message down for me, which read: Calm down. I’m here, and I won’t let him hurt you here. This is a safe zone. It was clear he didn’t know Spade.
I hesitantly picked the phone up and listened to Spade going ham before speaking. “Hey, babe,” I tried playing it off. “I’m back.”
“Hey, yo, Jakia, who in the fuck was that? You ain’t hear me calling for you? I thought I told your ass no male doctors or nurses. I know you’re not up in that hospital getting cocky and forgetting who the fuck I am.” Spade was making me nervous through the phone.
“I told them, babe. That was my roommate’s father.” I shrugged my shoulders at Mr. Peterson as he laughed.
“Yeah, okay—I see you think a nigga is dumb. I better not find out you’re lying, baby girl, or the repercussions are gonna be more than severe. Don’t forget—you are skating free as a bird right about now, and I’m not the only one with my hands dirty,” he spitefully reminded me of my involvement in crimes, which I didn’t need—then the line went dead.
Even though I hadn’t been the one to send someone for him, I knew what Spade’s words meant, and that I better find a new way of living soon.
“Jakia, what did he say to you? Did he threaten you? Are you okay?”
Turning to Xavier with tears in my eyes, for a split second I regretted telling him anything about me, Spade, and even Juan—but then I found comfort in the fact that he knew. For once, I had someone to talk to that was totally on my side. “Please, can you find me somewhere safe to go that he can’t find me?”
Spade
“Hey, cuz, you should take it easy on Jakia. Real talk, I don’t think Jakia is the mastermind behind the hit on us today. If I would’ve known you were on that tip, I wouldn’t have let you call her.” Rocko was spitting some shit I wasn’t trying to hear.
“The fuck is up with you always playing ‘Captain-Save-A-Ho’ for Jakia? In all of this shit, you should’ve learned your lesson. You advocated for her to go to the hospital, and then as soon as she’s from underneath my thumb, gunshots fly. She has the right amount of bitterness for the right amount of reasons. Don’t tell me shit about that gun play and chase we were lucky enough to live through being a coincidence.”
“I’ll give you that, it does seem odd.” He nodded, then continued. “But doesn’t it seem odd that right after Tiff threatened to have someone do you, someone actually tries it? In my opinion, you oughta be using some of that energy to check out her ghetto ass.” Rocko had a point. His wise words had me thinking.
Without hesitation, I called Tiff to see how she’d play her attitude and position, but I was directed straight to voicemail. Her phone didn’t even ring. Sitting back in the passenger seat, I was mentally fucked up not knowing which bitch had set me up.
* * *
Back at my house, Rocko and I swapped cars because the plan was for him to hit Southwest Detroit to find out information about that particular rusted, spray-painted pickup truck. We weren’t worried about splitting up because if we weren’t meant to meet our Makers, having company with one another didn’t matter. Besides all that, I had to try touching base with Jakia and most definitely Tiff again. Rocko had my mind going. These li’l Mexican cats had me fucked up. And the girls I’d been controlling for the last year like puppets were starting to play back. Naw, I wasn’t feeling the changing of the guards at all.
19
Jakia
Xavier was gone for the night, but all I could think about was how good it felt to have his calming presence and aura around. After dealing with Spade’s alter ego for so long, this breathe of fresh air felt like heaven touching down. Mr. Peterson spent damn near his whole eight-hour shift within the small confines of my temporary hospital room listening to the horrific story about Spade’s and my dynamics. I’d left out incriminating parts about myself—but had no shame when it came to dragging Spencer’s name through the mud. I was fed up and fucked up behind the traumatic year of our relationship; and for once, it wasn’t feeling like something I couldn’t overcome.
Feeling the urge to pee, I slid my numb legs around and dangled them on the side of the bed in an attempt to wake them up. I’d been in this bed for so many hours, my whole body was restless, and my joints were starting to cramp up. Okay, get it together. You’ve had your body feeling much worse. After the two-second pep talk, I carefully stood up and dragged the IV pole into the bathroom with me. I damn near pissed on myself when I saw whose cold and menacing eyes were staring back.
“My sweet wife,” Spade’s voice was raspy and menacing. “It’s time to check out of here.”
“Sp-sp-, what are you doing here?” My words were caught deep in my throat as I stuttered. So much so, I couldn’t finish the syllables in his name.
“Come on now, baby girl—you know me better than that. Let’s be real. You knew I was coming when I heard that nigga in the background. Where’s your roommate, by the way?”
Giving me the side eye, I bowed my head defeated to the lie. The single room I was set up in wasn’t equipped to handle more than one person.
“See, that’s why I need to keep my eyes on you. It’s a wrap on this whole hospital bullshit.” He stood up ready to make his word bond.
“But the doctor said I’m severely dehydrated, and she’s unsure of some test results. Until I clear these IV bags and speak to her tomorrow, she said it’s best for me to stay in that bed and rest.” Trying to manipulate the situation, I didn’t want to leave the hospital with this man I’d grown to hate. Not only was it against the doctor’s orders, but it was also against what I really wanted. Love no longer lived in my icebox heart—at least not for Spade.
“This is not a game. Get this shit up out of you and let’s go.” He flipped the light switch on, then ripped the bandage off my arm. I yelped in pain, but he cupped my mouth closed, grabbed a towel with one hand, and pulled the IV needle completely out. “Hold this down on your arm. You know how that shit goes.”
I felt like we were starring in a twisted remake of What’s Love Got to Do with It. I was Anna Mae Bullock before she became Tina Turner, while Spade was Ike busting me straight from the hospital. Unlike the leading actress, however, I wasn’t smiling looking forward to marriage. Dressed with my hospital gown underneath my clothes, I walked out of Sinai Grace Hospital only foreseeing hell.
* * *
“I ain’t stupid, Jakia. I know you went to that hospital running yo’ mouth like a wounded puppy.” Spade chased me through the house yelling. “Who did you send after me and Rock?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I continued to leap over furniture, dodging whatever household item he flung my way. “You’re crazy as hell, Spade. I’m sick of you,” I shouted to the high heavens.
The more I stayed from within his reach, the more infuriated he became. I was truly clu
eless about what he was talking about because there was no way he could’ve known about me and the social worker’s conversation. Whoever went after Spade and Rocko came for retaliation owed from the dirt they did in the streets, not from me running my mouth.
Spade eventually tackled me from behind and served two quick punches to the back of my head. The impact from his fists made me see stars as I fell to the ground, then felt his weight suffocating me.
“Who in the fuck did you send for me, bitch?”
“I said I don’t know.” My lungs felt heavy from him sitting on top of me. “But whoever it was, I wish they’d come back to finish the job.”
Grabbing the back of my neck, he lifted my head, then smashed it against the carpet with no remorse. “Well, since you putting death threats on people, how ’bout I finish yo’ brazen ass right here and right now? Fuck airing yo’ ass out to the cops.”
“Then I’ll haunt you in your sleep,” my words were muffled, but I refused to be silent.
“If you’ve never learned a lesson from fucking with me, Jakia—you’ll learn tonight.” He leaned up but kept his knee jammed in my spine.
Moments later, I heard him flick the lighter on, then smelled Kush buds burning. I closed my eyes and tried inhaling the little smoke he was puffing out, but the pressure from his knee had my chest caving in. Every time I moved, his knee dug deeper, and the pain became more excruciating. However, I still tried fighting to get up.
I should’ve sensed that was the calm before the storm. As soon as I blinked, I felt an indescribable pain, then felt Spade cover my mouth as I screamed. Right beside my ear, Spade put the fire of his blunt out. First, he kept tapping it against my skin, torturing me; then he laid it flat, smashing it down. I jerked and fought him off as hard as I could, but my weight was no match. Until he was done using my face as an ashtray, I was at his complete mercy.
Once Spade got up, making the sorry assumption that he’d won the war, I rose up swinging—with the same lighter he’d used to light the blunt. When my hand got close enough to his body, I flicked it on trying to set him on fire.
“Ah, you crazy bitch!” He jumped backward, finally moved by me taking a stance.
“You ain’t seen crazy.” I kept talking with no fear. With a hollow stomach to match my hollow heart, it finally felt good standing up to him. I swung at him two or three times the same way but came up short each time. He moved quicker than I did . . . Yet, the fact that I had him on the move meant I was scoring.
That night, I gave Spade the fight of his life. I didn’t win by far and even caught a few smooth punches to the face, but at no point did I back down. Each time I fought back, cursed back, or stepped out of the passive position he’d created for me—he came harder with aggression to knock me down. All of the pent-up anger, pain, and hurt I’d been bottling up since watching the judge send Juan away was boiling over to a point where it couldn’t be contained. For once in my weak life, I borrowed a lion’s heart and stood up for myself. When the fight finally stopped, we were both icing cuts and wounds.
Spade
“While you’re sitting over here looking like you want your ass kicked again, iron my outfit real quickly.” I disrespectfully tossed my clothes at Jakia. “And make sure the pants have a crisp pleat.”
“Naw, I’m straight on that. If you want a crisp pleat, the spray starch is underneath the kitchen counter.” Jakia threw her hand up.
“See, all that talking back and newfound confidence you brought home from the hospital reassures me you were up in there singing like a canary.” I took a step toward her as she took one back.
“Whatever the fuck ever,” she raised her voice. “Do you know how stupid you sound? You make it known time and time again that I don’t have anyone but you. Yet, somehow, I’ve rallied up a crew in just a few hours to take you and Rocko down.”
I went to respond, then cut my own self off. Phoebe was somewhere cracked out on the corner while Juan was serving charges on my behalf. The only person she could count on was me, and I’d made it be that way. Yeah, she might’ve had a point.
“Exactly, Spade.” Jakia began her grand finale like she could read my mind. “You sound dumb as fuck.”
The more I let her words sink in, the more I realized she wasn’t trying to pull a slick move. But being cut from an “I don’t give a fuck” cloth, I still continued to go hard on her until I felt justified.
Ring-Ring!
“What up, Rock? Talk to me,” I answered the phone, then tossed my clothes back in Jakia’s face whispering she better get to ironing.
“Have you talked to Tiff yet? I did a ride through around Southwest and peeped that pickup truck. Let a few heads lingering tell it, that’s the Ramos gang. It’s a family of little Mexicans who run the Southwest territory hard. I don’t know how we’ve got beef with them cats, but they’re trying to settle the score permanently.”
“Naw, I haven’t talked to her but pull up on me so we can shoot a move over there. It’s weird she ain’t trying to holla back at me.” I knew she was probably trying to avoid me so I wouldn’t force an abortion on her.
“A’ight, I’m about to pull up and blow. Come out, so I don’t have to be in between some more of you and Jakia’s drama,” he requested; then we hung up.
I was amped up and ready to go. Now that we had a name to go with the men who had a hit on our heads, I felt slightly more at ease—but more revved up to pay them back. Rocko and I might’ve been leaving the D initially because of the shifty way the cops “solved” “The Motor City Murder,” but at this point, I felt like we were getting run up out of our hometown. No matter how I flipped it, running like a coward wasn’t sitting well with me.
I snatched my clothes back from Jakia, then rushed to get dressed. “Aye, ma, when I get back here—you better not still be acting like a bitch,” he growled. “Me and Rocko are about to get in the streets to so see who gunned for us. If any roads lead us back to you—it’s gonna be a muthafuckin’ problem.” I didn’t care how much I’ve already tortured Jakia in the past; she was gonna catch death like Lezlee if she’d crossed me.
“Just like you sounded dumb as fuck then—you sound dumb as fuck now,” she flipped me off, then went into the other room.
Rocko
“So, what’s the word? How’s Jakia, or did you even ask?” Rocko questioned me as soon as I got into the car.
“Ain’t nothing new up with her. She’s still playing sick like there’s something wrong with her. I ain’t buying that bullshit, though. This hospital saga is only a stunt for Jakia to get some attention and pity. Ain’t nothing wrong with her that my Christmas cookies can’t fix.” He spoke like he was plotting.
“Damn, cuzzo, don’t do her like that.” I tried taking up for his wife once again. It was starting to become a trend. “Anyway, let me not overstep my boundaries. Let’s make our way to Tiff’s so we can get our stash and see if she knows who these Ramos cats are.”
Jakia
The moment I heard Spade and Rocko burn rubber out of the driveway, I jumped up from the bed and ran through the house searching for my purse and the minute phone. My heart and mind were heavy, and the only person I knew who could help sooth it was Xavier. I knew he’d come into the hospital room expecting to see me but ending up being surprised that I’d vanished. I had to let him know I was still among the living and all right.
I peeked out of the blinds checking to make sure Rocko and Spade were still gone as the phone rang in my ear. I hoped I’d memorized the right number, and if so that he answered. I needed his help badly, and I was hoping he was still willing to offer it.
“Hello, Mr. Peterson,” he finally picked up. His strong voice soothed me through the phone. I closed my eyes and pictured his intriguing eyes.
“Hi, Xavier, this is Jakia from the hospital. I was just calling to check in and let you know I was living.” I tried to sound sweet and sexy, but I was tense and on edge. I’d never been on the phone with another man in the house Sp
ade and I shared before, but apparently, there was a first time for everything.
“Oh my God! I’m so glad you called. I was more than worried about you when I got to your room and saw you’d unexpectedly disappeared. The nurse’s station didn’t have any record of you checking out. How’s everything? Why did you leave like that? Are you okay?” I could tell he genuinely was concerned.
“I didn’t have a choice but to leave like that. Spade showed up, ripped the IV from my vein, then escorted me back into the free world.” I left out the part about why I didn’t fight back or get someone at the hospital to help. Spade was absolutely right when he said my hands were just as dirty as his. There was no record of him holding a gun to my head to being a setup queen. To anyone looking at it, it seemed like I was a willing participant. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I wanted to clean my hands of all the bad I’d done alongside Spade and Rocko.
“Well, what now? Are you safe? Do you need my help? Even if he’s being gentle now, Jakia, he will turn on you the second he feels you’re weak or fooled again.” Xavier tried coaching me on a play I was already ready to execute. “You know that man is a monster, and that you deserve better.” Xavier had no idea that he didn’t have to coach me out of the relationship anymore.
“I’m ready to make a move, Xavier. No, I’m not safe. Yes, I need your help. And I already know things will never get better between us.” I answered all of his questions. “Of course, since Spade popped up unexpectedly, I didn’t get to research any of those shelters you told me about. Can I just pop up, and can you give me a few addresses?” I wanted him to offer me more, but I’d take living homeless if it meant not getting burned with blunts and beat senseless again. Every day with Spade was less livable than the day before, and at this point, I didn’t want to die with Spade. He was so heartless that he probably wouldn’t even give me a funeral but just ditch my body in somebody’s trash rubble. I couldn’t wait to get away from the monster that I’d been calling my man.
Graveyard Love Page 17