“Let’s go home so we can play.”
I turned to the officers and thanked them.
Greg yelled, “You’d better have her back here on Sunday at five sharp or else.”
“Or else what, Mr. Wilson?” Miles asked.
“Or else I’ll call my attorney.”
“I suggest you do that,” Miles said.
We all turned and walked to our cars.
“Mommy, I don’t have a bag.”
“It’s okay. You have enough at our house to get you through the weekend.”
“Can I stay with you forever?”
“I’d love nothing more. I’m gonna put you in your car seat and then I have to talk to Mr. Miles for a second, okay?”
After I buckled her in, I shut the door. “He’s going to make one of us pay for this.”
“Not if I can help it, he won’t. I’ll call you Monday with a progress report.”
“Thanks. I just hope I can bring her back here on Sunday.”
“If you think you need an escort, let me know.”
“I wasn’t talking about that. I fear for Montana’s safety.”
“Let me see if there’s any way I can get her removed from the home over the weekend. I doubt it’s possible, but I’ll try. If she reveals anything to you, call me.”
I nodded and got in the car. It was so difficult acting happy when my heart was cracking wide open for this innocent little girl. She had never done a single thing wrong in her life, other than having an asshole for a father.
Why hadn’t I seen this in him? His true colors didn’t emerge until after I’d gotten pregnant. But when they did, they exploded with vivid clarity.
Chapter Sixteen
Pearson
* * *
“Have you made any plans for after you’re released?” Gray asked. He and Hudson had come to visit.
“Yeah, I have, and Sylvie wholeheartedly approves.”
“Don’t keep us in suspense,” Hudson said.
“I’m going to move in with one of the counselors here.” We sat in one of the activity rooms around a table, drinking coffee.
“That’s great,” Grey said. “That way, you can always go to him for help if you need it. Sort of like built-in therapy.”
This is where it got tricky. “Exactly. But it’s not a him. It’s a her. Her name is Rose. Rose Wilson.”
They both wore the same frowns. I knew that look. They assumed I was doing it all for the wrong reasons.
Hudson spoke first. “Pearson, are you sure that’s wise?”
“Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.”
“It’s not what you two think. Rose is … well, she has a three bedroom house with plenty of room and it was actually her suggestion. I don’t think I’m ready to live on my own. The group homes aren’t quite what I want either. This would be more of a one-on-one atmosphere. And she is one of the best counselors at Flower Power.”
“I’m just gonna throw this out there,” Hudson said. “Your reputation with women is less than stellar.”
I held out my hand. “Listen guys, she is so not my type. She’s very hippie-ish, all the way down to the flowery skirts. She even wears those flower wreaths in her hair. And get this. She teaches meditation and one day she was dressed like an elf.” I was telling myself a big lie, but I couldn’t admit to them how attracted to her I’d gotten.
“An elf?” Grey asked.
“Yeah. She had on red and white striped tights and a green top.” Grey eyed me curiously but said nothing.
Hudson chuckled. “Definitely not your type.”
“When you two meet her, you’ll understand. She’s always talking about her Zen and shit. But I’ve figured out that I need someone like that to talk me off the trigger ledge, which is why she’ll be good to live with.”
Grey touched my arm. “As long as you don’t use her as a crutch.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be going to NA every day. And, Dr. Martinelli said she’s going to put me in touch with someone who runs an NA group. He went through sort of what I did. Got hooked after an accident.”
Hudson scanned the room and commented on how many people were visiting today.
“Yeah, it’s much more crowded than the last time you guys were here. So, how’s Mom and Dad? Were they upset I asked them not to come?”
Grey shrugged. “Somewhat, but they understood. They’re looking forward to your release. When you’re ready, they want to have everyone over for a family dinner.”
“That would be great. I’d love to see all the kids,” I said. “How are the twins?”
“Mine are great,” Hudson said. “Wiley is hilarious. Every day he asks Milly when they’re going to walk. He has no concept of a year.”
“I bet he’s gotten big.”
“Yeah, he’s getting taller for sure.”
“Grey?”
“Oh, mine are belting out a lot of noise when they’re hungry and Kinsley already has plans to buy them clicky shoes. She’s still bossing everyone around too. All I can say is Marin has control of the house, thank God.”
“You totally lucked out in finding her,” I said.
“Could not agree with you more.”
“You guys want to take a walk out back?”
They both agreed and we went out around the gardens and the rest of the property as they caught me up on the kids, my parents, and the dogs. Those crazy dogs. Hudson was a veterinarian and soft-hearted when it came to animals. He and his wife currently had four and a half dogs. Seriously. His wife owned a Mastiff that my mom fell in love with. She begged Milly to keep it part-time and it soon became a joint custody deal. Every time I thought about it, I cracked up. I even joked about drawing up custody papers for them.
“I’m guessing that Mom and Milly are still sharing Dick?” Dick was the aforementioned dog.
“Yep,” Hudson said. “I’ve asked Mom if she wants one of her own, but nothing doing. You won’t believe her with him. She has all kinds of outfits for that dog. And he lets her dress him up.”
“Let’s not go there today. I don’t think my brain can handle it.”
Grey laughed. “Yeah, it’s started a whole thing with Kinsley. She tries to dress Marshmallow up, but she rips off the clothes as soon as you put them on.” Marshmallow was their Golden Doodle. “I told Kinsley if she keeps it up, Marshmallow will run from her and won’t let her pet her. Guess what she said.”
“What?”
“She said all she really wanted Marshmallow to wear was a pink tutu so she could watch her dance in her clicky shoes.”
“Jesus, that kid and those clicky shoes.”
“Tell me about it,” Grey said. “Poor Aaron. She constantly badgers the kid and he can barely get away from her.”
“My sympathies, man. Just keep him in sports,” I said.
“That’s the plan.”
“Wylie runs from her too. I told him to give her some soccer cleats for her birthday.”
Grey looked at Hudson like he was batshit crazy. “Marin will kick your ass from here to Texas.”
Hudson shrugged. “No, she won’t if I’m not there.”
We wound our way back inside and took seats again at a table in the dining room this time. I got coffees for everyone. I chuckled. “I’m glad I don’t have to deal with kids.”
“You might someday.”
“Nah. I don’t want to bring them into this world with a chance they would follow in the steps of their old man.”
“What do you mean?” Hudson asked the question, but both of them stared at me.
“I wouldn’t want any child of mine to ever go down this hellhole I’m in. That’s what I mean.”
Grey was the first to speak. “And you think because you have an addiction problem, your child would be at risk of having one?”
“One hundred percent yes.”
Neither of them said anything. What was there to say? I did the job for them. “I realize it’s difficult for the two of you to put yourselves in
my shoes, but you can’t possibly understand what it’s like. And I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”
“We don’t understand. Not at all and can never. But you don’t know your kids would ever do this.”
“True, but I don’t want to risk the chance. This has been hell. Or worse. And I’m still at the beginning. The truth is I’m scared. Scared to death of what will happen when I leave. That’s why the idea of moving in with a counselor is so appealing to me. Nighttime is the worst and she’ll be there to help. Like right now, I have zero urge to use. But when darkness hits, it comes on with a vengeance.”
“You can always call us, you know.”
“You guys have families and careers. It’s not like you have a whole lot of extra time to spend on your drug addict brother.”
Hudson slammed his hand on the table. “What the hell does that mean? You’re our brother and we love you, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Hudson is right. We’ll do anything for you. All you have to do is ask,” Grey said.
The tension was building in my shoulders. I hadn’t meant to upset them. “I’m sorry, guys. That probably came out wrong. What I meant was you two have your hands full with work and family obligations. I understand how it is. Hell, that’s how I ended up here. The stress of my job was a major factor. All I was saying is I didn’t want to add to that. But you have to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Hudson’s shoulders slumped. “Hey, didn’t mean to overreact on you. Have you thought about when you’re going to return to work? I know this is really early, but I thought I’d ask.”
I hadn’t told them or my parents of my decision and there was no time like the present. “I’m not going back.”
“Say what?” Hudson asked. Grey had been particularly quiet.
“You heard me. I can’t. The pressure is what landed me here.”
“I thought it was the shoulder surgery,” Grey said.
“That was only the beginning. Then I liked how numb the meds made me feel. When it came down to it, it was because of my job.”
“Oh, man. What will you do?”
“Start a new practice somewhere else. But it won’t be in Manhattan because I signed a no-compete clause. I have to go thirty-five miles out.”
“Eh. That’s not bad,” Grey said. “Look at me. I’m more than happy where I am.”
I scraped my teeth over my lower lip. “There’s more.” I lifted my eyes toward the ceiling, wondering how they’d take this news. “I’ve decided to do some pro bono work too.”
Grey lifted his brows. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?” Hudson asked. “You’re one of the best attorneys in Manhattan. Your reputation is stellar.”
A bitter laugh ripped out of me. “My reputation is stellar when it comes to winning cases, but as I’ve found sobriety and faced what was going on in my life, I’ve analyzed the types of cases I’ve won. I discovered it wasn’t always the right thing to do. Now I have regrets. Lots of them. This is a way of paying back for some of those … mistakes I made.”
Grey said, “I don’t know what to say.”
“There really is nothing to say, except tell me you support my decision.”
“Of course we do. We only want what’s best for you. My shock stems from not knowing this was going on.”
“Same here,” Hudson adds.
“How could you when I never talked about the bad and only the good?”
Grey offers up a slight smile. “Can I just say I’m glad we’re having this discussion? And I’m also glad you’re finding your way? Life’s too short to be unhappy.”
“That’s the damn truth,” Hudson says.
“You two would know.” They both went through some terrible times. Grey lost his wife in a plane crash leaving him a widower with two young kids and Hudson’s wife left him for another man when his son was only eighteen months old. Luckily, they’re both happily remarried now.
“Listen, Pearson, and I’m fairly confident I speak for Hudson and Mom and Dad here, all we want is for you to stay sober, no matter how you do it. And we want you to be happy. Whether that’s practicing law in some huge firm making millions or doing pro bono work, that’s up to you. We just want our brother back. We have him now and we want him to stay.”
I put my hand out on the table and they both covered it with theirs. “Maybe we need a knife to do the blood bothers tie.”
“Nah, we have each other’s DNA and that’s better than anything,” Grey said.
“I love you guys and am so thankful you’re my brothers.” We all stood and hugged. They were the most important people to me, other than my parents, and I wanted to show them how much.
Chapter Seventeen
Rose
* * *
Miles called on Sunday morning. My hands shook as I picked up the phone.
“Just checking in. How was your weekend?”’
“It was fine until today. I don’t know if I can take her back.” I whispered so Montana wouldn’t hear.
“You have to. I’m going to do everything I can tomorrow. This weekend was a bust. Do you want me to show up there just in case?”
Clenching the lapel of my robe, I muttered, “I don’t know. It may anger him more.”
“I have an idea. When you get there, call me and keep your phone on. I’ll park down the street. I’ll be able to hear everything. If anything happens, I can be there in moments.”
“Okay. But be there early.”
“What time are you going?”
“I have to be there by five on the nose, or else.”
“I’ll get there ten minutes early and wait. Try not to worry, Rose. This is going to work out.”
“I wish I believed you. But right now, I can’t.” I hung up and the nightmare that had awakened me kept flashing in my mind. It had been so real, so fucking real, I thought Greg had stolen Montana away. I jumped out of bed and ran to her room, only to discover she was still sound asleep in her bed.
The coffee was done so I poured myself a cup, but spilled it all over the counter. I needed to pull myself together. I leaned over, gasping for air.
* * *
His fist slammed into my stomach, pain exploding like a million stars in my eyes. I doubled over, trying to drag a breath into my lungs.
“What did you just say?”
My mouth opened, but there was no air to speak. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and jerked my head up. For a brief moment, I thought he was going to snap my neck.
“I asked you a question.”
I stared at his eyes and saw something evil move in their depths. No, not evil. It was hatred. He hated me. How had I not noticed this before?
“Answer me, goddammit!” He pinched, then twisted the skin on the underside of my arm. He was always careful and knew exactly where to injure me so the bruises wouldn’t show.
“I’m pregnant.” The two words wheezed out of me.
“You fucking bitch.” He slammed me against the wall, with a force that cracked the sheetrock. My shoulder and then the side of my head were the contact points. Something warm and sticky slid down my cheek. The skin must’ve split. It’s a wonder I was still conscious. “Get rid of it.”
“Can’t,” I mumbled.
“You can’t? We’ll see about that.” I didn’t understand what he meant until I saw his foot aimed at me. I curled up, trying to shield myself from the kick, but it wasn’t very effective. Blow after blow continued until things turned hazy and then dark. When I woke up, I was in the hospital.
I slowly opened my eyes to see him holding my hand. When I tried to snatch it away, he gripped it so hard, I squealed. The nurse in the room came running.
“Mrs. Wilson, are you in pain?”
Greg’s hand eased up and I shook my head. “What happened?”
Greg answered. “I came home to find someone broke into our house and beat you. They stole your jewelry and some cash.”
My eyes
pinged around the room, because he was lying, but had obviously convinced everyone this was the truth.
“The baby?” I asked.
The nurse smiled. “It’s fine.”
I smiled and rubbed my belly. Greg looked at me from beneath lowered lids. I knew he had plans, but if I could tell the nurse the truth after he left, maybe someone would believe me.
Only my plans were blown. “Mr. Wilson, they’ll be bringing in a recliner for you momentarily. And I’ll get you some sheets for tonight.”
“You’re spending the night?” I asked.
“But of course, darling. I wouldn’t dream of leaving your side while you’re here.”
* * *
It was a life I thought I’d left behind and here it was again, haunting me. Haunting my beautiful innocent daughter. I had to stop him somehow.
Getting Montana in the car wasn’t easy. “I don’t wanna go there, Mommy.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not fun.”
“Can you tell me more about it?”
“I hate staying in my room all the time. Sometimes I’m scared and no one comes.”
I knelt down beside her. “Can you tell me where your room is? Is it upstairs or down?”
“Downstairs. In the back. The scary woods are there where monsters live.”
“What kind of monsters?”
“Mean monsters.”
I brushed her curly hair back with my fingers. “Have you seen these mean monsters?”
“No, but Daddy said they’ll come and get me cuz they live in the forest. And I hear them.”
“What do they say?”
“The big mean one says he’ll hurt me if I’m not good. And I know he hurts the others. I can hear someone crying.”
She talked about them. Was she dreaming this? “Honey, are you having bad dreams?”
“No, Mommy.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Cuz the mean monster would come and hurt me.”
The monster had to be her dad. I knew that monster. He’d hurt me enough over the years. A broken nose, broken ribs, broken arm, wrist, bruises to match. That bastard was brutal. If he ever touched her like that, I would find a way to kill him. I’d bought a gun when we were still together and wouldn’t hesitate to use it to protect my daughter.
From Smoke To Flames— Amazon: A West Brothers Novel Page 10