“Is there a twelve-step program for relationships because I really suck at them?” I asked.
Then she let out a big belly laugh. It was contagious and I found myself laughing right along with her.
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah. Really bad. I blame it on the job.”
“I’ll admit after my marriage, I’m relationship-phobic too. I guess we’re even in that department.”
I did something I’d been dying to do for a very long time. I ran my fingers through her hair. “Just as I thought.”
“What?”
“I’ve been wondering what it would feel like to do this. And it’s even better than I’d imagined. You have beautiful hair.”
She glanced away. Suddenly her feet seemed to be extremely interesting. Tipping her chin up with a finger, I said, “It’s something to be proud of, not ashamed.”
Her hand wrapped around my wrist. “You don’t understand. He used to tell me it was ugly, that I was ugly. He’d use it as a weapon.”
I ground my molars at what she said. “What do you mean?”
“He’d grab handfuls of it and yank it so hard, sometimes chunks of it would come out.”
“Jesus, I don’t know what to say, Rose, other than I’m sorry you had to endure living with him.” What I really wanted to say was I’d love to wrap my hands around that bastard’s throat and squeeze the life out of him, after I beat him to a pulp.
“That makes two of us. But it’s over and done.”
“You have to know he said that to be cruel because you’re gorgeous.” Then a thought hit me. “This is off the subject, but does your house have a security system?”
“Yes, why?”
“I was going to recommend one if it didn’t.”
“I’ve had one since I moved in. I’ve never trusted him.”
“I can understand why.” I also thought about hiring her a bodyguard. They can be very discreet, but if she thought someone was following her without her knowledge, she’d freak. “What do you think about a bodyguard?”
She laughed. “I don’t have that kind of money.”
“I do and I know a few guys who are very discreet. I thought about doing it without your knowledge, but if you noticed someone following you, I was afraid it would scare you.” I waited for her reaction and she seemed calm about it.
“It sounds like a good idea, but I’m more concerned he’d go for Montana.”
“My thoughts were for both of you.”
Her hand fiddled with the buttons on her shirt as she asked, “How would it work exactly?”
“However you’d want it to. They work within the client’s parameters. For instance, if you wanted them to take and pick up Montana from school, they could do that. Wherever you think she’s at the highest risk of being exposed to him. And you too, of course.”
“I’ll have to think about it. He’s really smart and cagey. What are your thoughts?”
My brain fired up and I remembered a few other clients with similar situations, but they lived in the city, so their situations were a bit different. “Why don’t we ask the few guys I know and see what they say. A couple of them are ex cops so they understand the criminal mind.”
Rose perked up. “I love that idea. You don’t mind?”
“If I minded, I wouldn’t have suggested it.”
She picked up her phone to check the time. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Not as important as here.” And it was true.
“How are you doing, by the way.”
“I have good days and bad, but many more good than bad now. I see Dr. Martinelli tomorrow for my final visit with her. I’m a little nervous about that.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “What if she tells me I need another thirty days?”
Rose sat up straight and gave me a hard stare. “Do you think you need another thirty days?”
“No, I don’t.”
“What will you do when the urge to use strikes at night?”
“Knock on your bedroom door, what else?” I was totally serious, and she laughed. “What’s so funny?”
“I completely forgot you would be living with me.” She slapped her knee and actually snorted.
“Oh, God, you sound like Sylvie.”
Her hand covered her mouth. “I’ve never snorted in my life.”
“Right. I’m sure that’s what you tell everyone.”
“No, it’s true!” She kept laughing.
“Can we bring this back around to me?” I asked, winking.
“Sure. So, you’ll knock on my bedroom door, huh?”
“Well, yeah, for some counseling.”
“Counseling, huh?”
“Yeah, what el… oh, you’re a naughty girl when I’m trying to be serious.” A sly smile stretched across her face as she waggled her brows.
“Did you have an ulterior motive when you asked me to move in?” I asked suspiciously.
“Not at the time.”
“And now?”
“Maybe.”
“This sounds intriguing. But you have to promise me something first.”
“What?”
“If this doesn’t work, we both agree to call it quits before either of us hates the other again. I wouldn’t want things to end badly.”
“Agreed,” she said. I held out my hand and she shook it with her uninjured one.
“You don’t believe in wasting time, do you?” I hoped I wasn’t too much of a blabbermouth and acting like her significant other already.
“Not when you’ve been through what I have. Not to mention, I, er, haven’t been with anyone in a couple of years,” she stuttered.
Two years? You’re joking.
“No, not joking. Ever since my divorce.”
“Wow. I mean, just wow.” I didn’t know people could go that long without sex.
“Pretty sad, huh?”
“Not sad, just … long.” I rubbed my forehead thinking about it. I don’t imagine you could die from a backup of sperm, but where did it all go, if you didn’t eject it? Then again, women were different and didn’t have to ejaculate so maybe it wasn’t as bad for them. I’d never asked one, so I didn’t really know.
“What are you thinking?”
I slashed a hand through the air. “Nothing important.” Blue balls was a killer. Could women get a blue vagina?
I must’ve had a weird expression on my face because she asked, “Oh, no. With an expression like that, it has to be something.”
“Can a woman get … no never mind. You’ll think I’m really strange. Maybe someday when we’re closer, I’ll ask.”
“Wait a minute. We’re discussing sleeping together and you can’t ask me a simple question? Now I do think you’re strange.”
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Can a woman get a blue vagina?”
Her expression contorted into something similar to a pretzel if that’s possible. “Blue vagina?” Then she burst out laughing.
“See, I knew you’d think I was weird.”
“What in the world is a blue vagina?” Her laugh turned into a cackle.
“You know how men get blue balls?”
“Oh.” Then she snort-laughed again but covered her mouth with a hand.
“See, I knew I shouldn’t have told you. You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?”
“No, but I’ve never heard it put that way before. We don’t exactly get that. We usually take care of things before it gets bad and we don’t have, um, stuff in there.”
“Stuff?” I smirked. It was cute she didn’t want to say cum.
“Yeah, stuff.” Her tongue poked the inside of her cheek and seemingly she was trying not to laugh.
“What kind of stuff?”
Her finger popped out toward me as she said, “You know what kind of stuff.”
“No. Explain.”
“Liquid stuff.”
“You mean ejaculate?”
She snapped her fingers. “Y
es, exactly. So, we don’t get backed up.”
“Backed up, huh?” I was totally enjoying this conversation. “Is that what happens?”
“Well, yeah. Doesn’t it? Isn’t that why they turn blue?”
“So, they don’t actually turn blue, they just feel like they do. Some guys say they turn bluish, but mine never have. Oh, and the blue is the result of the blood supply in the balls, not the ejaculate.”
“Good to know,” she said, putting a finger in the air, grinning. “Now that I’m educated on blue balls, I have to say that women only get frustrated in the same situation. No blue vaginas that I’m aware of. But then again, how would I know because I’ve never had a way of actually inspecting in there.” Then her laugh hit me again. I couldn’t help but join in.
“True. This has been an interesting discussion,” I said. Then we both cracked up again. Before she stopped, I was kissing her again. If this kiss was any indication of how the rest of her would taste, I may be in serious trouble.
“I need to go. Meditation starts soon, and if I don’t leave now, I may be going in with blue balls.”
“We wouldn’t want that, would we?”
“There’s no we in it. I’ll see you later.”
Rose was a twist in my plans, but maybe a twist that my life desperately needed. And maybe that’s what had been wrong all along. I had always planned everything out, never letting things flow. It was time to let go of the control freak, because look where that had gotten me—up to my ass in opiates and alcohol.
Chapter Nineteen
Rose
* * *
Pearson left me with a huge smile on my face, something I hadn’t worn in quite a while. Then it hit me. I’d hated that man for so long, how in the world did this happen? Sylvie burst into the room then and saw me sitting there grinning. She came to a screeching halt and stared at me.
“I heard what happened to you and came as quickly as I could and here I find you looking as happy as I’ve seen you in ages. What gives?” She popped out her hip and rested a hand on it, waiting for my answer.
I mimicked Pearson as I waved my good hand through the air and said, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
“Nothing, my ass. For weeks you’ve been freaked about Montana, worried to death. And now you look like you won the lottery.” She snapped her fingers. “Tell it all. You can’t fool me.”
Damn. What should I say? I didn’t want to give Pearson away. What if he didn’t want her to know? Although she did mention something about us getting together.
Before I could come up with a single thing, she asked, “Does this have something to do with that hot cousin of mine?”
The heat in my cheeks had to give me away.
“Aha! That’s it, isn’t it?”
I aimed a finger at her. “Okay, yes. But don’t say anything because I don’t know how he would feel about you knowing.”
She fist pumped the air and said, “It’s about damn time the two of you figured it out.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Duh. Only that the chemistry between you two was as intense as a lab experiment.”
My hand flew out as I said, “Stop. You’re making that up.” Could that be true and I blocked all those feelings because I kept telling myself I hated him?
“Get real, my friend. You just refused to see it. You have to admit the attraction between you two is off the charts, right?”
I chewed on my lip for a second as I thought about it. “At first, I thought he was hot, and it pissed me off because I hated him so much. I asked myself why couldn’t he be ugly? But then, as he began helping me, I forgot I hated him and yeah, the attraction for me was there. I just didn’t know it was reciprocated.”
By this time, she had plopped down in a chair. “You are a blind woman, my friend.”
“Shut up. I’ve been so worried about Montana, the last thing on my mind was if he thought I was hot.”
“It’s kinda hard to miss. Damn, he stares at you as if he wants to own you. As for him, even though he’s my cousin, it’s hard to ignore his looks. That face alone is perfection.”
“You’re sick,” I said with a laugh.
“Yeah, I know. Can you see me as a patient, following him around?” She snickered.
I threw a pen at her and she caught it. “Seriously. What is that called when you think your cousins are hot?”
“It’s called you think your cousins are hot. Now shut up.” Then she asked, “So, have you two made plans? He gets out in a few days.”
“You don’t remember, do you?”
“What?” She frowned.
“He’s moving in with me.”
Her frown instantly disappeared, and her mouth morphed into a smirk. “No wonder you were grinning like that when I walked in. I imagine you two have been planning?”
“That, my friend, is none of your business.”
Sylvie suddenly looked like a whipped puppy. “You can’t mean that. I would tell you.”
“He’s your cousin. If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”
“No, he won’t. It’s a guy thing. They never tell.”
She was right. Most men didn’t talk like women did. They didn’t share things and I could never figure that out. “How about this? I’ll give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down, but no details. That’s just too intrusive into his life and I can’t do that.”
“Sure, I can work with that.”
“Oh, my God. You’re sounding like my counselor now.”
We stared at each other and then fist bumped. “It’s hard to shed that role, isn’t it?” Sylvie asked. “How are you going to handle Pearson when he’s with you full time?”
“I hope to help him or at least help prevent him from taking a tumble.”
“Thank you.” She put her hands over her heart. “And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Rose, he almost died. My family was so scared of how this would work. The fact that he’s leaving here after thirty days is a miracle. Even Dr. Martinelli is amazed at his progress. Jeremy says he’s iron-willed. But if you could’ve seen him in the hospital. He doesn’t know I was there. And I don’t ever plan on telling him, but his brother, Grey, called me right away when they were looking for places to send him. It was awful. My aunt and uncle were freaking. His family is very close-knit and caring, but to see his parents break down, was heartbreaking for me.”
“I knew he nearly died, but I didn’t know the rest. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sylvie shrugged and wiped her eyes. “It was so personal, so close to the heart, I suppose. And I didn’t know how he’d do. It was one of the reasons why I wanted him with you. I knew you would work really hard to get him on the right track, but I never knew you had a past with him.”
I chuckled. “And who knew it would turn out to be the best thing for Montana and me?”
“Right?”
I got out of my chair and went to hug her. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“If it hadn’t been for you asking Pearson for his help, this never would’ve happened. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
“That’s what friends are for, Rose.”
“This is something I’ll never forget. You gave Montana and me a chance at a new beginning. The best chance ever.”
Her expression indicated there was more on her mind she wanted to ask. “What?”
“Montana. How is she?”
“Shaken.” The way her little body trembled when I held her yesterday and how she clung to me made my stomach bottom out all over again.
“Have you thought about what’s next for her?”
“Sure, counseling. As in intense. I think she has PTSD. Know anyone?”
“Why don’t we check with Dr. Martinelli? She’s sure to know someone. She’s coming out tomorrow.”
“Right. Great idea.”
“Montana’s here, isn’t she?”
Sylvie took my hand, saying, “You have all your bases covered then. Let’s go see your little one.”
When we got to the front, a surprise awaited us in the form of my ex. “Greg, what are you doing here?” My heart kicked up until I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. It was a wonder no one else saw or heard it.
He snarled at me. “I’m here for my daughter, which I have custody of. Where is she?”
Chapter Twenty
Pearson
* * *
I was in meditation, trying not to chuckle, because all I could think about was my conversation with Rose about blue balls and blue vaginas. My eyes were closed when someone whispered in my ear.
“Pearson, we need you up front. Fast.”
I opened my eyes to see Sylvie. Her expression told me it was serious. Leaping to my feet, I quickly hurried after her. When we made it to the hall, I asked what was going on. She explained as we practically ran up the steps and on to the front.
“I need to call Miles.” Sylvie handed me her phone and I made the call.
“Miles, Pearson here. Rose’s ex is here trying to get Montana from her. He’s claiming he’s the custodial parent.”
“I’m on the way.” Click.
Handing Sylvie her phone back, I said, “Miles is coming.”
When we arrived at the front, Rose was pacing, and Greg was yelling. I stepped in. “Mr. Wilson, if you don’t calm down, we’re going to call the police.”
“West, what are you doing here? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.” Then he took a good look at what I was wearing, glanced around, and smirked. “No wonder you wouldn’t answer any of my calls. The mighty Pearson West is in rehab.” Then he laughed.
“If I were you, Mr. Wilson, I wouldn’t be so concerned about my business. Now it would be for the best if you’d leave.”
“Not without my daughter, I won’t.”
“We can make this easy, or we can make this difficult. You no longer have custodial rights of your daughter. You lost those when you committed acts of domestic violence against her mother and went to jail for them. The state doesn’t look kindly on that. As I said earlier, it would be in your best interests if you left now, or we’ll call the police.”
From Smoke To Flames— Amazon: A West Brothers Novel Page 12