Isla began to shift and squirm. We quieted, waiting, to see if she’d go back to sleep, but her face screwed up and she began to cry.
“I think I need to feed her?” It was a question to the universe, because I didn’t know for sure. I knew nothing, nothing at all about how to do this. “Okay, um...” I had only fed her sitting up, so I pulled a few pillows up and propped them against the headboard. By the time I got her into my lap she was really wailing, and then Archie woke up. “Oh no,” I said, having gone from content and happy to overwhelmed in a matter of seconds. “Shhhh, shhhhh.”
Archie climbed on me and began crying too. Magnus said, “Och, wee’un, tis nae a good time...” He tried to lift Archie from my lap, which got Archie crying even louder, clutching at me, and Isla was crying, and I was trying to get her to latch onto my breast but apparently she couldn’t see it, so I started to cry too.
My phone vibrated and it was Emma texting: Need anything?
I spoke out loud to the phone, “No, I don’t need anything,” because I had too much going on to be able to text and frankly kind of pissed that she asked — I didn’t need anything — except maybe hot water for a shower. Except maybe a little electricity, that would be nice.
“Shhhhhh, shhhhhhhh,” I whispered to the baby and sort of to Archie too. “Shhhhhhhh, it’s okay.” Isla paused to get a breath and I managed to get her to nurse. “Ow,” I muttered but then it was okay.
I turned my attention to Archie. “It’s okay, did the baby wake you up?”
He nodded his little head against my stomach, my big puffy stomach, which I was pretty sure should be half the size now the baby wasn’t inside it anymore. Just one more way my body was not helping the situation.
“She was just scared. She traveled a long way to be with us today, and she fell asleep and woke up in the dark, and didn’t know where we were.”
Archie said, “Here, baby.”
“Exactly. Right here, and there’s plenty of room here for you too.”
“Me baby, too.”
“Yes, you’re a baby too.” I stroked my fingers down the side of his face, “But I think your Da might need someone to hug him to sleep though, he’s over there all by himself.”
Archie and I looked down at Magnus, beside us, flat on his back. He said, “I ken I need a wee’un tae sleep right here.” He patted his chest.
Archie scrambled off my lap and crawled over onto Magnus’s chest, more body on top than beside, draped across him. “Kay-be okay, Archie sleep on Da?”
“Of course.” I wiped my tears off on my arm.
Baby was nursing, completely calmed, falling asleep.
Magnus’s arm was crooked behind his head. He was watching me.
Archie was draped on his chest, facing me, his little fingers in his mouth, his eyes slowly closed and he fell asleep.
With my toes I dragged another pillow up to prop the baby higher. I leaned my head back against the headboard and exhaled, long and low and so relieved to have calmed everyone down. Including myself. I made a pact that the baby would never cry again and then I looked down at my husband, still watching me. He smiled, a glint in his eye.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Naethin’.”
“No tell me.”
“Twas thinkin’ on the night we married when ye told me that yer body was mine tae do what I will...”
I grinned. “Is that what I said? I think there were some exceptions...”
“Tis nae how ye said it, ye dinna say ‘except for’. Ye said, ‘Master Magnus, everythin’ I am belongs tae ye now.”
“Now I know you’re making this up, I didn’t call you Master Magnus that first night. I am pretty sure. Although really, who can remember? It was so many lifetimes ago.”
“Tis true, ye should trust me on it. Ye gave me everythin’. Twas in yer vows.”
“Awesome. I gave birth mere hours ago, in a hurricane, I’d like to mention, and you’re already jealous of the baby?”
“Nae, tis nae m’meanin’. Twas thinkin’ on how ye give everythin’ tae those ye love.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“Aye, I am happy tae share ye. I am glad tae be a Da.”
“You’ve already been a Da for three years.”
“Aye,” he said quietly. “But now I get tae share it with ye, twill be different. We hae Archie and now a new bairn, Isla. It has more meaning for us that we are all taegether.”
“I love you.”
“I love ye as well, mo reul-iuil.”
The baby’s nursing slowed.
Archie had fallen deeply asleep.
The night enveloped us again.
Quiet, so quiet after that howling all day, it was hard to believe there was the one after the other. I was barricaded in this room without knowing what was out there, but now the danger had passed. It sounded like a clear night sky. I whispered, “Will you take down the plywood tomorrow so I can see?”
“First thing.”
“Tell me the third.”
“The third...?”
“The third time I was beautiful.”
“Och, ye ken it.”
“I do not. I can not imagine what you will say....”
“Twas the night on the high walls, when ye were astride me and the sky was full of stars above us.”
“Ah.”
“Ye dinna want tae sleep in our bed because yer heart was still broken from the...”
“I remember.”
“So I took ye tae the high walls. Twas cold and ye had the wool blanket wrapped around ye, but inside ye were unclothed and warm, and touchin’ ye was...”
I nodded.
“I canna find the word.”
“You don’t need to.” I shifted the baby to the mattress and then tossed pillows to the bottom of the bed and squiggled down in the sheets, while Magnus shifted Archie to his other side, so I could fit against him, under his arm, on Archie’s newly vacated spot. He was warm from baby boy head, smelling a little like comforting, a bit like toddler, but also very good, like husband, love and protection. I nestled in letting him go fully around.
“Thank you for all those times that I was beautiful. That was nice to hear.” We were quiet for a long, long time. Until I said, “I gave birth today.”
“I ken, ye produced a miracle.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Aye she will be one of the great loves of our lives.”
“So true. Goodnight my love.”
“Good night, mo reul-iuil.”
And then a few moments later, knowing Magnus was asleep, I shifted over and put the baby back in the crook of my arm so that I could watch her as she slept and I could fall asleep with the weight of her in my arms.
The next morning, I woke up in my cave room to the sounds of screw guns, Magnus and Zach removing plywood.
Carrying the sleeping baby I emerged from our room to go see the world. “What’s happening?”
The house was wrecked. They had told me, but it was different seeing it for the first time. I went and peeked into the entry way and yep, I could see the sky.
Emma met me and looked up. “At least it’s a pretty day today.”
I said, “I’ve been inside tents that were better shelters.”
Emma put her hands on her hips. “Yeah, well, Zach and Magnus are going up there to fix the roof. I can’t wait to see what the chef and the eighteenth century highlander do to fill the hole.”
“Magnus will need to find a stone quarry first.”
She joked, “At least stone work won’t require power tools. Just between us, Zach is not the best at power tools.”
Zach called down the hole because he was indeed already up on the roof. “I heard that, Em,” he grinned down at us through the hole. “How about you go work the blender?”
She laughed. “I could probably figure it out by reading the instructions — what tool you got up there?”
He turned on the screw gun.
She aske
d, “Bet you didn’t carry the instructions up with you, am I right?”
“Who needs instructions? I’ve just got to put a piece—”
Magnus, who I couldn’t see, because he was right behind Zach, said, “Looks tae be needin’ about three pieces.”
“—three pieces of plywood and all it has to do is keep the rain out for the next week until James gets back. When he returns he’ll make fun of what I did, but then I’ll make him dinner and he’ll forgive me.”
Emma laughed. “Well, you should get on with it now.”
Magnus called down, “How’s the bairn, Kaitlyn?”
“She’s perfect. Be careful on the roof.”
Emma and I ducked out of the entryway so they could work and she led me to the couch. There were leaves on the floor. A lot of sand.
Outside was gorgeous, with a high sky and a warm breeze.
Ben and Archie were running up and down the boardwalk banging sticks on the railing.
Emma and I watched them for a moment then she asked, “Has she been nursing?”
“It’s going well actually, she’s latching on and nursing like a champ.”
Emma sighed. “I’m so happy for you. Really. A little jealous because it was so hard for me in the beginning, I felt like a total failure—”
“I know you said it was hard, but you’ve never failed at anything. You’re always perfect.”
She squinted her eyes at me. “You know that’s not true, right? Because it’s not, a lot of things are really hard for me.”
I breathed in. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. I mean, come on Katie, for years I was barely holding it together, I didn’t finish my degree, my boyfriend was a stoner, we barely held down jobs. The case could be made that we weren’t ready to be parents.”
I shook my head. “It’s hard for me to think that about you because I count on you for everything.”
“Well, sometimes I’m in way over my head.”
“I never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“And you know what my sister would say to me if I tried to talk to her about any of it? She’d accuse me of being Miss Perfectly Perfect.”
“Oh no!” I frowned. “That sucks. I really hate I said that, I’m so sorry. I remember it wasn’t easy for you in the beginning, but I don’t remember you going through a terrible time, not really.”
“It was awful, I cried and cried. I hid it from you because you were my boss and I didn’t want you to know. I made Zachary promise not to mention it to you. It took forever to figure it out.”
“Oh.” We both looked down at Isla in my arms.
“I’m so sorry, Emma. Really, truly. I had no idea. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you to confide in. From now on I will stop thinking of you as perfect, it will be a relief actually, and from this day forward, if you ever need help, just tell me, I will do my best for you.”
She said, “I know you will.” A smile spread across her face. “I think our relationship has been different because we started out as boss and employee and then before we knew it, I was helping you wash blood off.”
“It was crime scene blood, too.”
We smiled at each other.
She said, “It means we’ve still got things to learn about each other and to admit to each other.”
“Like this might be a good time to admit that I think about my own dramas way too much.”
She grinned. “Considering the level of your dramas you might think about them the right amount. Your life has been a giant shitstorm for a long time.”
“Well, sure, but still, I can always do better.”
“Me too, and I am really glad breastfeeding is going well, you deserve a win. You truly do.”
“Thank you.”
She smiled. “Back to my list: Wet diapers?”
“Yes, her diapers are wet and it looks like black tar coming out of her ass.”
“That is perfect.”
I looked down at Isla. “Babies are weird.” I kissed her forehead and breathed in her baby scent. “I also love her so much more than seems possible.”
Emma said, “Few hours, that seems about right.”
Thirty-nine - Kaitlyn
I sat on the couch while the rest of the household was busy. I slept and, in and out of slumber, listened to power tools and the work of the day. There was a moment when Zach and Magnus got into an argument on the roof.
Emma came in wide-eyed as we heard Zach’s raised voice “Fuck it, just hold it right there,” and Magnus’s voice, “I am holdin’ it, ye arna doin’ it right. Tis supposed tae go intae the board, nae away.”
We both stared up at the ceiling as if that would help but then it quieted down.
I whispered, “I’ve never heard them argue before.”
Quentin walked in, his arms laden with duffel bags that clanged when he put them down. “Boss and Chef arguing? What next, pigs flying?”
Mookie wandered into the room right then with little grunts.
I joked, “If pigs fly, you’ll be the first to know.”
Quentin crouched and gave the pig a little scruff on its chin. “He is awful cute though.” Then to the pig he said, “I’m going to go get your mama, she’ll be back very soon.”
I said, “Speaking of super cute. Who would have thought you’d be a pig papa?”
“Comes with loving a blue-haired, bagpipe-playing, eighteenth century girl, apparently.”
“That is a sentence never spoken before.” I grinned. Looked down at the little bundle in my arms. “Speaking of who would have thought, I have a baby.”
“You were in a closet and came out with a hurricane closet baby. Storms keep bringing people, it’s not something I’m ever going to get used to. Speaking of...” He held up a vessel. “Zach and I went to the beach this morning and found it behind a rock.”
“Yay! I’m so glad.”
He unzipped a bag and ran a hand over a few very big guns. “Just so you know, Katie, shit is serious back there. I need Magnus. I get that he can’t come, you just gave birth and all, but he needs to come soon. Shit’s going down at the walls of his castle and it probably involves him.”
“I’ll need to pull on my big girl panties and let him go?”
“Eventually. But he does need to. I can’t train all those people to fight by myself.”
“You’ll have James there.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, he’ll be a help, but he’s also probably freaked out. Getting him up to speed ain’t going to be easy.”
He scrubbed his hand down his face. “I was going to put these here but forgot about the toddlers. I’ll pile my armaments in the garage. I have to go get the ATVs, and the drones.”
I said, “We could go get more ATVs and drones from the future. Magnus could send you with an army.”
Magnus walked in having overheard us. “M’army has tanks and helicopters, would be a help tae ye, Master Quentin?”
“I think we’re better off with the smaller, more maneuverable vehicles, they can get through the woods, and off-road when we need them to, and they’re like mini-tanks, they have shields and armor. Plus they’re fast. Also, don’t forget, they have excellent weapons strapped on board. But the best part? Their battery lasts for a long long time. We only have two weaponized-drones but I think it’s enough, I only intend to use them for fear, not death from above.”
He added, “An important note too, the Campbells have seen these weapons, they’ll be more accepting of them, not as afraid to use them. That will go a long way in protecting the castle.”
Magnus said, “I will take yer advisement on the matter.”
Quentin said, “Good, our policy still needs to be, do no harm. I’m urging caution. These guns are to cut the battle short, without too much drama. The drones are for espionage. The ATVs for movement.”
Magnus helped Quentin carry his bags to the garage.
I stayed in the house, on the sofa, nursing and cuddling and sleeping. It was all I could do.<
br />
Magnus came in a bit later and sat on the couch, a strong palm on my hip. He watched me nursing Isla for the umpteenth time that day. I grinned. “I’m not being much help.”
“Tis nae matter in it, we are able tae do it.”
“You argued with Zach?”
His eyes gleamed with good humor. “Madame Emma was correct in her belief that he daena ken how tae lay the roof. It has made him angry that she was right on it.”
“Did you make up with him?”
“Make up?”
“Apologize to each other, forgive each other, that kind of thing?”
“Nae, we—”
Chef Zach barged in through the door just then, grumbling furiously, he headed to the kitchen and tossed his gloves onto the counter. “Need something to eat, Magnus?”
“Aye.”
He opened cabinets and pulled down boxes. “Can you believe what a pain in the ass that was?”
The corner of Magnus’s mouth drew up in a smile. “I canna.”
Zach ran his finger along a recipe on the back of the box and then looked in the cooler for something saying over his shoulder, “Sorry I snapped back there.”
“Tis okay, I did the same, m’apologies tae ye, Chef Zach.”
“You don’t need to, that was all my bad.” Then he added, “Quentin got the generator going, would you like Mac and cheese, Archie and Ben’s favorite?”
“Tis one of m’favorites as well.”
And they were done with the argument.
Magnus turned to me, “Quentin is almost ready tae go, I canna come up with a reason for him tae nae go directly. I want ye tae ken I hae tae follow him verra soon. I winna go until I ken ye are on the other side of havin’ a bairn, but then I will have tae.”
I squiggled my toes down under his back. “I know. Thank you for staying as long as you can. Though right now it’s only to watch me sleep.”
I entwined my fingers in his.
“I daena mind the watchin’.”
And somehow, in the light of day, in the middle of the living room, sun filtering through the glass panes of the doors, we both fell asleep.
Our Shared Horizon (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 10) Page 18