“You’re not wrong,” I say, the menu hiding my own smirk. “I like my steaks bloody and my martinis shaken, not stirred.”
“Like James Bond?” Michelle says, giggling. Her laughter is like a bell. I don’t hear it enough during work hours, it’s testament to how hard she works. Which is not to say that she’s humorless at the firm. She has a wonderful sense of humor and she laughs all the time, just not enough to sate me. I want to make her laugh a lot, preferably after making her come, and I want her to chuckle in my ear before she kisses me.
“Exactly,” I say, pushing those troublesome thoughts away. “I love James Bond movies. Connery, Dalton, Daniel Craig… I love all of them. What about you?”
“I like romantic comedies,” Michelle says. She sounds a little lofty about it like she’s expecting me to judge her taste.
“Not usually in my wheelhouse,” I say. “But I can watch just about anything.”
“Do you like crab cakes?”
The question throws me for a loop and I blink. For a second I think if she’s asking me if I like movies about crab cakes. “Sorry?”
“For an appetizer,” Michelle says, setting down the menu. “I love crab cakes.”
“Absolutely. Order anything you like,” I say, with a magnanimous little wave of my hand. “It’s on me. And you better get a dessert. That’s not up for negotiation.”
“I think I can be persuaded,” Michelle says. She winks at me. I’ve never seen her do that before. It’s sexy.
I’m in so much trouble right now. I can even sense that she’s just a little bit riled up. I can hear the pace of her heart, the slight shortness of her breath.
Sometimes these heightened wolf senses are a curse as much as they are blessing.
When the server returns, I order one of my favored martinis along with the crab cakes...I’m going to need it. I go over the stupid speech I’ve written in my head a million times just in case anything ever almost happened between us. I’d say we can’t do this because we work together and insist on propriety. Of course, it’s bullshit. It’s got nothing to do with work. That’s important to some but if I didn’t have the human threat to my pack always in my head, a silly job wouldn’t hold me back from being with Michelle. It’s not that I imagine Michelle would ever hurt me or my family. She might not intend to. But humans are sort of like ants. Where one is, there are always more. And they’re not always kind hearted like Michelle is.
“Wow, where did you go?” Michelle says. “You’re all spaced out.”
“Oh, I was just thinking about um…” I’m trying to think of something reasonable to say and my mind is a blank. Instead I blurt out, “What perfume do you wear?”
“Oh.” Michelle sits up a little, smiling. “It’s called Lavender and Linen. Nothing fancy. It’s made by this little boutique company in New England. My mom always gives it to me for my birthday because it’s my favorite. That and a BluRay of whatever movie I’ve decided I can’t live without.”
She’s babbling just a little bit. I think it’s charming. “It works for you.” I’m looking at her too long, I’m sure of it. I can feel the intensity of the gaze I’m casting her and her smile falters slightly.
I feel a passionate sense of possession and I clench my fist under the table.
Be mine, I think. Be mine forever.
That’s obviously nothing I would say to this woman any time soon because regular humans don’t say that out of nowhere to co-workers. It’s one of those stupid wolf impulses I have to keep in check. It’s like my impulse to take Michelle from behind up against the thick glass wall of my office, or to wrap my arm around her and bite her neck as I thrust into her wet heat and make her moan.
I clench my jaw, frustrated at the image in my head, wishing there was a drink in front of me.
Our crab cakes arrive and I take a breath. Sometimes I feel as if I have three selves. There’s the regular me who’s a human who also happens to be a wolf shifter and has wolfy traits like possessiveness, enhanced senses, an ambitious drive, and a heated passion for anything or anyone that I want. Then there’s the wolf who has no sense of what’s necessary or appropriate and just wants to eat and fuck and run as long as the moon will let me. And there’s a third person, the tax accountant. The tax account is all business and some charm and not wolfy at all. I try to summon the tax accountant within because the wolf feels like it’s taking over. It doesn’t help that the moon will be full in three days. I always get riled up the week before a new moon.
I try to think of the most boring topic imaginable. But we have the crab cakes to eat now so that does take the pressure off the conversation.
Be mine.
“You don’t wear make-up,” I say, and immediately take another bite of crab. I wince slightly but I try not to give anything away. I didn’t intend to say that at all. It seems a little personal somehow and I was trying to get away from that.
“No,” Michelle says warily. “I never liked the way it felt heavy on my face. Or mascara, I can always feel it a little bit or see it out of the corner of my eye and it drives me crazy.” She takes a deep breath and I see her squint for just a moment as if she’s wondering if I don’t approve and she’s already judging me for it. I even love that. “I’ve gotten comments on it. I’ve been told I should wear it, especially the older I get.”
“I hope you don’t listen to idiots like that,” I say automatically, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like you need it. Wear it if you want to or don’t. People should stay out of it.”
She grins at that. “I agree.”
“Besides, you’re gorgeous.”
“Oh.” She flushes all the way down her throat and I swear to God her chest heaves. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, frowning. I want to bed her and I want to do it now.
“So um…” Her hand flutters around her throat and she fidgets with her necklace. “What do you do outside of work anyway? I mean besides watching James Bond movies.”
“I hunt,” I say. It doesn’t mean what she thinks it does. It doesn’t mean I go out and shoot animals with some stupid gun like a regular human. But it’s the first thing I think of that I love. Michelle doesn’t seem offended though.
“Are you good at it?” Michelle says.
We’re looking deeply into each other’s eyes and my wolf rears up and says, “I’m great at it. I decide what I want and I do anything it takes to get it. It makes my blood hot.”
“Does it,” Michelle breathes. My eyes drop to the swell of her breasts as they rise and fall just visible above the deep V of her neckline.
“It does.”
“Your steaks, ladies and gentlemen!” The server announces.
We both seem to realize we’re leaning forward in our chairs, gripping the edge of the table, the tension thick enough to cut with one of our silver steak knives. We jerk back, both of us clearly a little embarrassed. Michelle actually fans herself.
I don’t know if it’s comforting or infuriating that I know she wants me as much as I want her.
We dig into our steaks and the tension eases just a little bit. Or at least it does until Michelle says, “You don’t date much, do you?”
“It’s difficult to date in my position,” I mutter under my breath.
“As a tax accountant?” Michelle laughs when she says it, sounding rightfully confused.
“I just mean, I work so many hours.” I take a sip of my martini, avoiding her eyes now. “I’m a driven sort of person. I’m not great at making time for myself. I think you’re the same way.”
“I can be. But I’d make time for the right person. With the right person.” She smiles like a vixen. I’ve never seen that particular smile on her face before and my cock swells.
I’m turned on but I’m also horribly sad all at once. We’re doomed. Starcrossed. We could make passionate love right now and I’d love to but I would not be sated, I would want her in every way and I can’t have her. To have Michelle as my mate, my partner
, my wife…it would be both everything I desire and a betrayal of everything I’ve promised my clan.
“Aaron, are you alright?” Michelle looks so concerned. I wonder if I’m really giving myself away or if she’s become pretty good at reading me even if I’m trying not to.
“Yes.” I clear my throat. “Just um...sometimes I think I won’t find that person. There’s always...something in the way. Sometimes it’s work. I mean I would never date anyone from work. But that’s also where it’s easiest to meet people.” I say it a little cooly, inwardly pulling myself together.
“Oh,” Michelle says softly. “Right. That’s tricky.”
“I want to say again, how great you did in that meeting.” I want to shift the subject away from this dangerous area and besides that, now Michelle looks as sad I feel and I want her to smile again. “I’m sure you’ve dealt with plenty of men like that jackass underestimating you. You do a great job of not letting that slow you down for a second.”
“Thank you.” She does smile now and my heart warms. “I appreciate that. It’s certainly doesn’t hurt to have a supportive boss.”
“It’s funny, our position,” I say absently. “When we get a new client who hasn’t met me yet, they tend to assume a lot of things. You hear ‘tax accountant’ and you expect someone who looks sort of like a nerd, like…”
“A ninety-pound weakling?” Michelle says dryly.
“Well, I was going to be more charitable,” I say, smirking. “But yes. And keep in mind I’m only talking about superficial assumptions.”
“Of course,” Michelle says, laughing a little.
“Anyhow, clients think they know what they need when it comes to money and they’ll try to tell you what advice you should give them even if it will get them in trouble with their shareholders or the IRS for that matter. They come in thinking they can intimidate and …”
“And then they meet you,” Michelle says. She gestures in the general direction of my body. “Biceps and all.”
“Yeah, there’s always a look of surprise,” I say. “It’s entertaining. Anyway, I’m not saying it’s anything like being a woman in business but…that’s my experience.”
“Right.” Michelle nods. “You can be intimidating. Especially when you really want something.”
I all but growl under my breath when I say, “The worst is when I want something and I can’t have it.” When I meet her eyes there’s no mistaking what I mean and Michelle’s lips part, the pink tip of her tongue making an appearance. Under the table her bare leg rubs mine and I’m fairly sure it was an accident but just that bit of contact this close to the full moon makes my cock swell again so suddenly that I stand up from the table with a jolt.
“I’m just gonna go to the men’s room,” I say, hoping she doesn’t see my hard-on. “I’ll be right back.”
Even the walk to the men’s room is uncomfortable for me; the voices around me too loud, the scents of food too stifling. I need air. In the bathroom I hunch over a marble sink, gripping it so hard with my hands, I can feel the marble give just a little. I’m usually very careful about enhanced strength but my desire for Michelle is driving me mad.
I glare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are dilated and darker than their usual arctic blue. My breath is short.
“Get it together, man,” I say under my breath.
I go through the motions of taking a piss just so I can tell myself that I didn’t just come in here to cool down but after I wash my hands and fix my hair, I splash some cold water on my face and just stand and breathe for a minute.
I want to bed that woman. I want to make her writhe and moan and give her the best sex she’s ever had and I can’t because if I’m true to myself, I could admit that I love her and I can’t risk my clan’s safety just because I’ve caught feelings for the human. It’s not as if this scenario is unfamiliar. My brother, Xander, has had crushes on humans before. I’m sure it was hard on him too but he never showed it. I guess that’s why he’s the alpha. Not that I would ever be alpha anyway as I am the youngest. I wonder if he was ever truly in love with a human? He’d never give it away if he was.
I dry my face and take one more deep breath and then, speak of the devil, my phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s Xander reminding me I need to come to the family estate soon for the full moon. I guess it’s helpful that he sends us a reminder but it’s not as if I would ever forget. My body and my mind wouldn’t let me forget around Michelle anyway. I know my intensity of feeling comes down to how close to the full moon I am.
I text back: Oh, is that coming up? I had no idea.
Xander texts back: Alright, snarky. Better safe than sorry.
As it’s a group text, the third in line, Micah chimes in: I don’t know, Xan, what if I forget after 30 years?
Mason, who’s only older than me by two years says: Are you guys blowing up my phone now? I’m in a meeting.
Then stop texting, Micah says.
Shut up, Mason says.
I almost text that I’m on a date and stop myself. That wouldn’t go over well if they failed to assume it was just a casual hook-up; and if by some miracle I’d met a nice girl like us without help from the clan, I definitely would have mentioned it already. Might as well keep this evening with Michelle to myself if I possibly can. I don’t like answering questions.
See you guys at the moon, I text back. I pocket my phone, dry my face with a paper towel, and head back out to our table. I’ve taken longer in the bathroom than I intended but Michelle only smiles when I sit back down. I scarf down a few big bites of bloody steak which helps to settle me a bit. This woman will drive me mad.
“Is your steak good?” I say, taking another sip of my martini once I’ve gotten more comfortable.
Michelle’s eyes glitter and when she says, “Delicious,” I suspect she’s not just talking about the steak. Resisting her is not going to be easy.
Chapter Three: Michelle
The tension was so thick at our long, luxurious lunch, I was sure he was going to bang me right there on the table. I’m almost disappointed he didn’t. I kept imagining Aaron shoving our plates and glasses to the floor with one dramatic sweep of his arm. He’d come around and push me down on the table and kiss me passionately as one hand slid up my leg from my ankle to the inside of my thigh.
I’ve studied Aaron’s hands at length. He has long and elegant fingers that I’m sure know exactly what they’re doing. I suppose when you’re into someone you obsess about the smallest things that you wouldn’t even think about for anyone else. For Aaron, it’s his hands. They’re squarish and masculine yet refined, like they could have been sculpted. I love it when he rolls up his sleeves to expose his forearms and I can follow the line of that one vein down the back of his hand. Even his knuckles are sexy.
The fact that he truly behaved like a perfect gentleman even as his eyes told me they wanted to bend me over the table only made him hotter.
I’m turned on and frustrated when I get home that evening. I’m also even more enamored with him.
My roommate, Luna, is reorganizing our DVD’s for the third time as I kick off my flats and drop my purse. She squints at me as I walk in, probably hearing my long-suffering sigh. Luna doesn’t miss much and she’s heard me gush about Aaron more than once. To be honest, I’m surprised how patient she is about my little crush. Sometimes I can’t stop talking about it.
“Do you have that goofy look on your face because of the Boss Man?” Luna calls after me as I change into my pajamas in the other room. I put on a pair of my favorite kind of fuzzy socks and pad out to talk to her, pursing my lips. But spying the still half-full bottle of wine on the kitchen counter from the last time Luna made risotto, I trot into the kitchen to pour myself just a little drink to relax me.
“He has very nice hands,” I say before I take a sip.
Luna snorts a laugh at that. “I’m organizing the rom-coms by actress.”
“Alphabetically, I hope.”
“Yeah, bec
ause you’re anal as hell. Heigl, Hudson, Lopez…”
“Okay, okay.” I flop down on the couch behind Luna who’s sitting on the floor surrounded by towers of DVD boxes. “He’s so perfect, Luna.”
“So what else is new?”
Luna is very petite, her pale blonde hair always up in a perky little ponytail that swings even as she screams obscenities while on a rant about whatever client stepped out of line at the remodeling firm where she designs kitchens. Her rants are routine by now. How somebody with such a good eye for fabulous kitchens and interior design can stand to live in our shoebox apartment is beyond me. But Luna says it’s just a job even if she does appreciate the aesthetics.
“The tension is new,” I say wryly.
Luna swivels around on her bottom to face me, her lap full of Nancy Meyers movies. “Hasn’t there always been tension?”
“Not like this,” I say. “This was… I really thought he was about to ravish me. And I wanted him to. So much eye fucking. It was intense.”
“That’s it, I’m cutting you off from rom-coms until you close the deal with this guy,” Luna says, smirking a little as she takes a deceptively dainty sip of tea.
“You’re cutting me off from my own DVD’s until I have sex with my boss?” I raise an eyebrow, hoping Luna will see how ridiculous she sounds.
“Yes, that’s correct. From everything you’ve told me, this guy wants to bone you until your legs give out and I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet.”
“You do remember the part where he’s my boss?” I say, rolling my eyes. “I mean I don’t really care about that, but he seems to. Alright, that’s not true. I totally care about that because I like that he respects me. Not that he wouldn’t respect me anyway because he’s a good guy but… It’s a bad idea.”
“Boss schmoss!” Luna cracks. “You only go around once! With him, I’ll bet you could go around several times in one night-”
“Ha!” I fall back on the couch, cackling. Luna is such a goofball.
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