“Okay,” Luna says. “Well, what if he has a brother like Caroline Bingley?”
That makes both of us laugh but I can’t help but wonder if Luna has a point. What if Aaron thinks his family would disapprove of me and that’s why he’s insisting we can’t be together? It’s a terrible thought. I can’t quite decide if I’d be angry that he would give up so easily or appreciate that he’s attempting to protect me from a bunch of hostile parents and brothers. I try not fall into a spiral of thinking along those lines. I don’t even know if that’s true at all. Even if it does make a lot of sense.
“You should have some Gatorade or something,” Luna says, hopping up and going tothe fridge. “If you’re hungover. Oh God, you weren’t drunk when you guys…”
“We were kinda buzzed,” I say, waving my hand. “Not really drunk. Thank God. I remember everything viscerally.” My face turns red at the images in my head, and the memory of all those sensations; Aaron all around me, plunging inside me and holding me close. It threatens to get me worked up all over again.
“Oh man,” Luna mutters. “You have the dopey smile of love on your face. Are you in love with him?”
I chew on my lip and grimace at Luna which is answer enough. “I can’t help it,” I say, shrugging. “He’s so...Aaron.”
“I don’t blame you.” She pats my shoulder. “He’s always sounded like a sweet snack.”
“He’s a meal,” I mumble. I get up to clear my dishes away. I feel too full but also still kind of hungry and a little nauseous. I’m craving pepperoni now. Which seems strange. I’m not particularly big on pepperoni. “Alright, I’m off. Thanks for breakfast, Luna.”
“No problem.” She pats my back, smiling softly. “Good luck with Mr. Perfect.”
“Yeah, I’ll need it,” I say, chuckling. I’m just grabbing my coat and purse when my phone buzzes in my hand and I frown. It seems early for a text and I hope it’s not an emergency.
The text is from Aaron. It’s short, sweet, and devastating.
Michelle- office is very slow today. Go ahead and take a personal day. I’ll ttyl.
Several things strike me as odd about this text. First is that nobody’s ever texted me to take a day off for no reason before. It’s true, we’ve all been working especially hard lately, but I doubt he texted anybody else to take a day off. Second is that if he did only text me, than that’s definitely inappropriate especially considering that we just slept together.
But worst of all is that Aaron clearly doesn’t want to see me and he’s not even trying to pretend otherwise. It seems uncharacteristically unprofessional of him to let his personal life (and mine) affect our working relationship so suddenly and so drastically. He really can’t just suck it up and be an adult?
I’m suddenly starting to wonder if Aaron is not quite the strong man I’ve thought he was for the last three years.
Chapter Six: Aaron
I may have screwed up. This occurs to me about an hour after I text Michelle and encourage her to take a day off. The truth is, my mind feels scrambled. I always get a little rattled and wired up this close to a full moon but with what’s been going on with Michelle... When I sent her the text, I had it in my head that maybe we should take a day apart. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her, it was that I wanted to see her so badly I couldn’t think about anything else. My wolf was rearing up. I kept biting people’s heads off (metaphorically, although with the threat of the wolf rearing its head, you never know) around the office. Todd was only the first casualty today. On a good day, I can be a little intimidating with my co-workers and that’s nothing new. But today my uncertainty and frustration and my desire not just to bed Michelle but to have her as my mate, my only, mine, was making me act like...kind of a lunatic.
An hour after sending the text I’m sitting at my desk finishing up the Weinbart trust for Michelle because, to be honest, it was not a slow day at all. All at once it hits me how completely unprofessional it was to send Michelle that text. My whole excuse for not being with Michelle is that we work together and it would make things more complicated yet I’ve managed now to undercut my entire argument by single-handedly wrecking our working relationship and treating her differently than my other colleagues.
I swear, it made sense at the time.
I’m so angry at my own lovestruck foolishness, I shove everything off my desk and it takes me nearly a half hour to right it again. Around lunch, my brother Xander texts me.
Don’t forget to come over tonight for the shift.
I grunt in annoyance but at least this time, nobody’s around to hear it. I can’t help but notice that this text didn’t even go to the group message thread all of us have been using to text since forever unless we have to speak to each other privately. Xander only sent this to me alone which means he feels the need to remind me, the youngest, apart from Mason and Micah.
My brothers have always babied me because I’m the youngest and I’ve always just rolled my eyes because that’s the way it goes for the youngest and it’s even worse if you’re a wolf shifter in a tight knit family pack.
But still, it’s mildly annoying. Because I’ve never missed a shift once. At worst, I’ve run late but the only times I’ve transformed off the grounds at the full moon was if there was an emergency. I don’t know why my brother feels compelled to constantly remind me as if I’m suddenly going to forget and then only upon receiving his text, think to myself: Oh right, I’m a wolf shifter and that full moon is coming!
I text Xander back, feeling a little snarky. It’s strange at times to be the alpha in my own life apart from my family and go home to my brothers once a month where I’m definitely not.
Is it the full moon tonight? I had no idea.
Xander doesn’t text back. He probably thinks I’m just being touchy.
Somehow I manage to actually get some work done. I don’t hear from Michelle all day. She didn’t text a reply to me and she took my advice and didn’t come into work. I hope she’s having a nice day even if I did act unforgivably foolish about the whole thing.
I should text some kind of apology. But I’m not sure what I’d say.
You bring out my wolf and I can’t control myself.
I’m not sure that would go over so well.
After work, I tidy up my desk. I like to come in on Monday with things as immaculate as possible. I find it makes each week feel new, like a clean slate. I get in my car and turn on some loud rock music to give me a cathartic boost after this stupid day. It helps a little, slamming my steering wheel as Metallica pounds through my speakers.
I head straight to the estate. On full moon nights, my mother has a huge dinner made. She doesn’t cook it herself because they have a personal cook, Claudette, and my mother hasn’t cooked in probably twenty years, though she does like to bake for fun. I’m hoping for short ribs tonight. That’s my favorite dinner for shifting nights. Short ribs and mashed potatoes with horseradish and artichokes. Claudette will make tiramisu and there will be those little bird candies made of marzipan. Every time I go to my parent’s house, I feel a little bit like a kid again, even when I’m drinking wine at that huge dining table and wearing a suit. I resist that feeling, but it’s also comforting.
I grumble when I notice that all my brothers’ cars are already in the circular driveway. This means that even though I’m actually early, I’m still ‘late’ by virtue of being the last to arrive.
At the door, my parent’s butler, a fox shifter named Kennedy greets me. I give him my coat and he tells me everyone is in the parlor.
My parents’ estate is a Tudor style brick mansion beyond which lay fields of green and the property has enough of its own bit of forest that as pups we could run around freely without worrying we’d be seen by strangers. Not that a wolf would be considered a strange occurrence, but there are people who hunt regular wolves, nevermind the complications inherent in being shifters. It was an idyllic place for us young boys to grow up and we never wanted for anything. I suppose the only major
pressure was that of legacy. Our family holds a high status within the greater wolf shifter clan of Washington state. We have a lot of sway and with that kind of power are a lot of strings. Hence, the rules that have been drilled into my head since childhood.
We keep ourselves apart from humans.
We do not fall in love with humans.
Our loyalty is first to the pack and then to the clan.
There are other rules but those are by far the most important ones.
“Aaron!” That’s my brother Micah. Micah hops up from the divan and trots over to me, holding a martini. He’s got blonde hair that he wears slicked back and bright gray eyes.
Micah is two years older than me and I’ve always thought he acts more like the youngest child than I do. But Micah has never seemed insecure or at least he’s good at not betraying his insecurities. He’s slick and snarky and arrogant and he has an ego to rival Xander’s. I love him to death, of course.
“Finally he arrives,” Micah says, throwing an arm around me.
“I’m early,” I say. I swear whenever I come here, even my voice changes just a little bit. We all become like kids again when we’re around each other at the estate. Except maybe for Xander. He’s always been the alpha brother and he’s always acted like the alpha brother.
“Aaron, dude,” Micah says, shuffling me over to the wet bar to pour me a drink. My other brothers nod at me from the sofa by the grand piano. They’re probably talking about stocks or something. They’ve always been more obsessed with the business world as far as finance than Micah and I, but we’re no slouches either. “You would not believe this guy in creative they’ve saddled me with.” Micah rolls his eyes. “Practically just out of college and thinks he knows everything? Can’t not give me a piece of his mind? Unbelievable, man. It’s driving me insane I hate people like that..”
“Unless they’re women,” I point out.
“What are you talking about?” Micah says.
“Nothing. Only that you love women who challenge you and if it was a woman you were talking about, you’d be madly in love already,” I say, taking the Old Fashioned he hands to me. I take a sip, regarding my brother who looks irritated because he knows I’m right. “I guess it’s too bad you’re not gay, you’d be set.”
Micah rolls his eyes. “Fuck you, dude. Like you’re one to talk.” He leans forward and says quietly, “I can smell the bangin’ on you a mile away. You just got laid, huh?”
“Shhh.” I flush, and I don’t know why. It’s not like we can’t sleep with somebody, even a human. I just feel so protective of this thing with Michelle, even if it’s not really a thing.
“Wait a minute…” Micah steps closer and sniffs and I roll my eyes. “Oooh. I smell it now. A human woman. Well, that makes sense. Hard to find a nice shifter girl nowadays. Just be careful, Aaron.”
“What’s this about a human woman?” Xander says. Mason and Xander were standing right behind me apparently and I jerk a little, pursing my lips. It’s like they can smell a chance to embarrass me, the baby of the family, as keenly as they can smell fresh meat or a wolf in heat.
In literally any other situation in my life, I feel as confident as I look. I’m over six feet, I work out a lot, and I’m alright on the eyes. But Xander…
Xander’s the tallest, the strongest, and oh yeah, he’s also the most successful. Being the alpha doesn’t just mean he calls the shots in our pack, it also means he’s an alpha in the family business. My father’s money comes from his father’s money. The business of the Tremblays is aerospace and my father was a strong figure. But Xander’s made The Tremblay Company a leader in the industry just like the family is a leader in the clan. Where my father made millions, Xander’s made billions. No son could have done a better job inheriting the family business. I couldn’t have.
Still, Xander is a particularly devoted alpha. Which means he doesn’t let anything go.
“What human?” Xander says again because I haven’t answered him.
He fixes me with a stare that says I might as well answer him because he’s going to keep asking. If I attempt to hold out on him, he’ll remember when we shift and then it’ll be a stupid fight for dominance in the woods and fur will be flying. Which is sort of enticing, as much as I want to release some energy. But Xander is awful when he’s tenacious so I might as well get this over with.
“It was just a one time thing,” I say firmly. “It’s a woman I work with.”
“Oh, shit,” Micah says. “Is this Michelle?”
I shoot Micah a glare. Xander picks up on it immediately. “You know her name?” He says to Micah. “Has Aaron mentioned this woman before?”
“Barely,” I mutter, downing half my drink.
“Pfft! Barely?” Micah must know he’s getting me in trouble. I may have to kill him in the woods later. “You talk about that chick all the time! How she’s sooo smart and she’s been sooo under appreciated. I figured you had a huge crush on her.”
Xander’s eyes flash and I shake my head. I swear my oldest brother grows an inch as he stares me down. I stare right back.
“Are you in a relationship with this human, Aaron?” Xander says, deceptively casual.
“No,” I say calmly, shaking my head. “It’s nothing like that. There’s no relationship with this woman. I like her and we’re friends. At work. Only at work. We had lunch and we had drinks. And we did sleep together,” I admit. “But there is no relationship. I’m well aware of the rules. I’ve only been a wolf in good standing with the clan and my pack for thirty years, but I’m pretty sure I remember them.”
I’m steady as a rock as I face off with Xander but inside the wolf feels like its pawing at the walls of my body, trying to get out. I’m sure my brothers feel the same way.
Xander eyes me up and down as if trying to get a read on me. “There better not be,” he says. “If it was just sex… I mean, we all have needs. I know that. Obviously, I’ve had some flings myself. Just be sure to keep this contained, brother. “
“I will,” I say, because he’s the alpha.
“She doesn’t know anything?” Xander asks in a low voice.
“Of course not. Nothing.”
“Good.” Xander claps me on the back. “I know I baby you sometimes, Aaron. It’s hard not to think of you as my kid brother sometimes.” He tousles my hair and I wince, but I can’t help but smile. As annoying as they can be sometimes, I love my brothers to death.
“I know you do, Xan,” I say, sighing. “Love you too, man.”
“Boys!” Our father pipes up, making his way into the parlor. He had his sons late in life for a shifter. He was once nearly as overpowering as Xander but he’s an old man now, a little hunched, though his shock of silver hair is as formidable as ever. He walks with a cane, an injury from a fight with a rival bear shifter alpha long ago that never healed even with our enhanced healing abilities. “There are my beautiful boys.”
Father hobbles over to us and we duck down just a tiny bit to let him kiss our cheeks and give him a hug. He’s always been an affectionate man which I find endearing. Sometimes wolf alphas can seem so remote but my father is as warm as anything and being a powerful voice in his clan has never changed that. He’s never been afraid to show he loves us.
“You all look well and strong,” he says proudly, slapping my back. “Your mother’s dressing. Come, let’s eat. The moon will be up soon.”
We sit down and settle in with wine and my mother comes in, still smoothing her dress, just as the cook is setting out our food. My mother wears her silvering hair in an updo with curls framing her face. I haven’t seen her without a full face of makeup since I was a little kid. That might be why, as much as I love my mom, I’m so compelled by Michelle’s natural beauty. My mom’s always perfectly put together and tonight is no exception. My parents still insist on dressing for dinner as if they’re on Downton Abbey. My father’s wearing a charcoal suit and mother’s wearing a beaded silk gown. She looks like a vision, what any wom
an would want to grow into.
“Hello, darlings,” my mother says, and kisses each of us on the head as she goes around table until she takes a seat across from my father. As the alpha, my brother sits at the head now. “You all look wonderful,” she declares. “I want to hear what all of you are doing and you’d better not hold out.”
My brothers and I glance at each other. Mom is sweet and very nosy. Dinner is short ribs, just as I’d hoped, although it’s served with potatoes au gratin instead of my beloved mashed with horseradish. After tiramisu and coffee, my mother and father retire to the luxurious little cottage that they call their ‘shed’ that’s outfitted specially for two shifters who prefer to stay contained in their old age. I think it’s a weird choice myself but my mother and father have always spent full moon nights locked up with each other for company. My dad says he’s not as wild as he once was and he doesn’t want to aggravate the bad leg.
My brothers and I chat as we make our way to the grounds behind the estate and we have one more finger of whiskey at a stone table by the Cupid fountain near the rose garden. When it gets nearer to the moon we leisurely make our way into the woods.
When I shift at will, it’s much more distinct and clear. But the involuntary shift at the rise of a full moon is always much different. It’s a bit of a blur when I shift but then the chill air is making my lungs pump as a million delicious smells hit my wet nose and I’m running, running, running along side my brothers. We howl our joy to the night and hunt and wrestle in the woods. I feel as if a hundred pound weight has been lifted from my soldiers as I find a release that’s not sexual but also isn’t completely non-sexual.
As I run off from my brothers for a bit, just to stretch my legs, I find myself wishing I could share this with Michelle. I love her, I think very clearly. In the simple beauty of the night, everything becomes so clear, for better or worse.
I love Michelle the way any shifter loves their mate. I can never share with her everything I want to. But I love her and even as I race through the woods and plow through a shallow creek bed, giddily muddying my feet, I feel a terrible heartache that follows me into the dark.
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