“Aaron, for God’s sake, what are you talking about-”
“I can’t tell you!”
“Well, you’d better tell me something because you’re starting to sound unwell-”
“This isn’t the time or place for-”
“Aaron, please-”
“I can’t-”
“Just tell me the truth-”
“Michelle-”
“Just once-”
“I’m a wolf shifter!” Aaron hisses at me, his eyes bright as he leans across the table. We haven’t been speaking loudly but people have glanced over. We do look like a fighting couple.
Now we just look like a confused couple as I gape at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish.
“What?” I say flatly.
“I’m a wolf shifter,” he says again. “You’ve heard of werewolves?”
“I...yes...”
“It’s like that only we can become wolves whenever we want to. But I still transform at the full moon. Some shifters don’t though, it kind of depends on the clan-”
“What in the hell are you talking about?” I snap. My head is spinning. He sounds like a crazy person, even though he’s talking as if this is all perfectly normal somehow.
“I’m not supposed to be telling you,” he says slowly. “Or rather, I wouldn’t be able to tell you if you were human but since I’m pretty certain that you’re not really, I don’t think I’m breaking any laws. I can prove it to you,” he says. “Just give me a minute.”
All at once he’s paying our check and ushering me out of the restaurant except that instead of walking back to work, he leads me around to the back of the place and into a shadowy alley. He keeps trying to explain a bunch of nonsense about he can turn into a wolf which makes him a shifter and how his whole family is just the same way.
That’s the big secret.
He can turn into a wolf.
I’m starting to wish he was a vampire.
“Have you completely lost your mind?” I say. I’m actually scared for him and he’s just rolling his eyes and muttering about how these unshakable laws about not telling humans only make things more complicated.
In the alley there’s no one else around. Aaron makes sure. He walks around to double-check and then comes back to me. He kisses me on the forehead as I stare at him like he’s nuts which I’m assuming he is.
“Try not to scream, sweetheart,” he says to me.
Then all once I watch his body sort of blur in front of me and in the space of a second he turns into a wolf.
I scream bloody murder.
Aaron is a wolf.
What surprises me more than Aaron turning into a wolf is how quickly I process that reality. I stop screaming. Or rather, I clap a hand to my mouth because I quickly realize we’re in public and that Aaron has kept this insane truth to himself for a reason. I also realize that Aaron isn’t just any wolf, he’s the wolf I saw in my dreams. There’s something about that I find comforting...for about a quarter of a second and then I’m just freaked out and angry.
I think Aaron is trying to look cute. He’s a huge wolf, even on all fours his flank comes up to my waist. He’s nuzzling at my hand and whimpering as if I’m going to react to him like he was any ordinary puppy dog.
Puppy dog…
I’m pregnant with a wolf baby.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No, no. I have to go. I have to go!”
All at once, Aaron shifts back into human form and I’m shoving him away. He’s trying to comfort me, to tell me everything is going to be okay. All I see is a monster who’s been holding the truth back from me and got me pregnant with his monster baby.
He’s still Aaron, the logical part of me says. It’s still your child with him.
But my stupid brain is terrified.
“I have to go,” I say quickly. “I have to go! I have to get out of here.”
Yet again, I’m going to be leaving work early. That’s certainly not going to do anything to help the rumor mill situation. But in the moment, I don’t care. I just need to get out of here.
“Michelle, please. Can’t you see this is exactly why I was afraid to tell you.”
“I have to go,” I say shakily, wiping tears from my eyes yet again. “I have to go, I have to get out of here. Just let me go. Don’t call me! I’ll call you when I can stand to talk to you and maybe not even then.”
I start walking, not knowing where I’m going to go. I walk out of the alley and out onto the sidewalk and with no better ideas, I start to text Luna. I quickly realize that this was important enough that Aaron was terrified of telling me, that it was a reason for me not to be able to be with him even though his family seemed to like me. Whether I can handle this or not, Aaron has now put his life in my hands. The least I can do is not betray him.
I keep walking. I decide to walk until I know what to do next.
I walk for a pretty long time.
Chapter Fourteen: Michelle
I love Quinton, Washington, but if I’m honest, sometimes it feels eerie when you’re walking around at night. It’s just enough of a city to have sketchy feeling streets and the occasional dark alley. Although, I think to myself, now armed with the knowledge that there are people in the world who can suddenly become wolves, maybe that’s due to the presence of freaky, magical creatures.
I shove my hands in my pockets and try to think things through, as much as I can. Assuming that whatever Aaron is, he isn’t evil, I have to think he didn’t tell me sooner for good reason. It’s now very clear to me that this is what has been standing in the way of our relationship. His family couldn’t accept me because I wasn’t one of them. I wasn’t a...wolf person.
Suddenly I remember something Aaron just said in the restauant. He said that I wasn’t human either. I have no idea what he means by that. But obviously he’s telling the truth about himself.
So, what the hell does he know about me that I don’t?
I keep walking, going over this and that in my head. The thing that freaks me out the most is that I’m pregnant with something that’s not human. Even if I’m not human it seems so...wrong. Also if I’m not human, what the hell am I?
It’s chilly enough outside that my breath steams in the air. Aaron’s probably as upset that I’m running around in the open air as he is that I’m not talking to him.
Good. I hope he worries. I hope he’s crazy with worry. I hope he’s panicking.
Maybe it’s petty but it’s now obvious that his parents knew I was pregnant with a dog person before I knew.
That’s not exactly enchanting behavior.
It all must be getting to me because as I walk down some particularly deserted Quinton streets, I swear I see a wolf out of the corner of my eye. I spin on my heel, expecting to see Aaron. Except that the wolf I thought I saw was brown. I keep walking and it happens two more times. Maybe it’s hormones messing with my head after all this craziness. I’m seeing wolves now.
I’ve walked in a circle around town and I’m about to give up and catch a Lyft home when my phone buzzes. Of course, it’s Aaron. I feel a stab of anger. It’s only been a couple of hours. I told him not to call me and while I fully expect him to call me anyway, this is too soon.
“Aaron,” I snap into the phone. “I told you to give me some time. Two hours isn’t time!”
“Michelle, I know, but if I could just explain to you what it means to be a wolf, you’d understand-”
I hang up before he can finish. I almost crack up laughing. There’s just something about the way he said ‘what it means to be a wolf’ that is actually pretty funny. Or anyway, it would be, if I wasn’t completely freaked out right now and hallucinating street wolves.
I’m feeling a bit calmer finally and I turn a corner onto a dark street when I hear a voice behind me.
“Gimme your purse.” The voice is very matter of fact. A flat monotone that seems to assume I’ll comply. Which...I will, because a purse isn’t worth my life and I don’t know
if the guy standing behind me has a gun or not.
My heart starts racing immediately. And despite myself, I wish Aaron were here. I consider myself a strong woman and all that but Aaron’s huge and I don’t think a guy would mug us with him around even if they did have a gun.
“Okay, no problem,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. My hands are shaking as I raise them, my purse hanging off one arm.
The guy lunges, I assume for my purse, and I freeze up.
Except that he doesn’t gab for the purse. Instead he comes at me with something big and sharp that looks like a huge needle and I start to scream. But since it’s a needle and not a gun, my fight or flight reflexes opt for fight and I make my fingers like a claw as I go for his eyes and twist away. The guy growls like some kind of beast and I flail and kick his knee, trying to bring him to the ground.
And just like that, Aaron appears as if out of thin air. Or rather, the wolf appears. But as much as I’m angry at him, his appearance as a wolf is as familiar to me as his stubbled jaw line and dark hair. And I could swear his eyes are just the same.
I scramble back, making myself small up against a wall and watch Aaron’s wolf self take on my attacker who immediately shifts into the brown wolf I saw before out of the corner of his eye.
Well, at least I wasn’t hallucinating.
Aaron’s got his teeth bared and he’s growling like he’s ready to kill as he lunges for my attacker again. He goes right for the brown wolf’s throat. The brown wolf twists and bites Aaron’s leg hard enough that I gasp but it doesn’t slow Aaron down for a second. They’re tearing at each other though I’m relieved not to see any actual blood. Then all at once, the brown wolf twists away again and goes racing off back down the street. Aaron goes racing after him and I sag against the wall, still tensed up and shaky from the terror of it all.
What’s scarier to me is that the guy wasn’t even trying to mug me, he was trying to stick me with a needle. I have to think that has something to do with either our baby or me, the ‘not human’ child growing in me.
Though honestly, at the moment I just want to go home. Worse, as angry as I am at him, I imagine home as Aaron’s place. I want to crawl under the covers of his big, warm bed and I want him to hold me and make me feel safe again.
Aaron comes bounding back and I almost smile at the sight of that familiar black and white fur and those bright blue eyes. He shifts back into human form, breathless and wild-eyed. I find that I’m not afraid of him like I was when he initially shifted. Still though, all is not forgiven.
“Michelle, sweetheart,” Aaron says, still catching his breath. He approaches carefully but he doesn’t reflexively take me in his arms, though I almost wish he would. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” I nod stiffly. “Do you know who that was?”
“I don’t know his coloring,” Aaron mumbles. “I don’t know what pack he’s from.”
“Pack?” I say warily. “I assume that’s a wolf thing?”
“A shifter thing, yes,” Aaron says, nodding. “I don’t know who he was or what he wanted. I’m going to find out though and then I’m going to tear him apart.” He looks vicious, ready to murder. I believe in that moment that he would kill anyone who hurt me or the baby. If nothing else, I know that he loves me and would do anything to protect me. His expression changes again, his brow furrows and he raises his hand slowly, gently touching my arm as if just to show me that he’s there. “Are you sure you’re alright? You must’ve been so scared.”
“How did you find me so fast?” I say. “How’d you know I was in danger?”
“I could smell your fear,” he says, looking a little sheepish. “I mean I can sniff you out from a mile away but when you’re afraid, your scent is much stronger.”
I nod, mulling that over. “Did you… Did you smell that I was pregnant?”
Aaron winces at that. I’m sort of relieved he knows why that’s weird as hell. “Alright, yes. I could smell it.”
“So..,you knew I was pregnant before I did?” I say, narrowing my eyes.
“Yes… I just didn’t know how to explain it to you!”
“Jesus.” I shake my head, half laughing at the absurdity of it all. “Aaron, what did you mean when you said I wasn’t human?”
“Oh…” He licks his lips and glanes away as if gathering strength to explain this. “There was a discussion at the estate about...what I should do about you. I shouldn’t have been able to get a human woman pregnant. That just doesn’t happen. But one of the elders had a theory that you possess a gene passed down from a human woman who was bitten by a shifter and became something between human and shifter. You could be descended from her. Somewhere in your bloodline, if only distantly. That would explain why I was able to get you pregnant. I’m not positive it’s true but it’s the best theory so far.”
“You’re saying I’m...one of these wolf shifter people?” I say. I feel like I’m in a dream.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can shift yourself. It just means you have this weird gene, right? But the good news would be that if you’re not fully human and you’re part shifter, the clan can’t stop us from being together.”
“The clan,” I say dryly.
“It’s like a group of all the shifter packs in this region,” Aaron says. “Our clan is made up of most of the packs in Washington.”
“Oh…”
Aaron looks like he’s about to fall apart and he comes forward again like he wants to hold me so badly he has to fight his body from doing it. “Michelle, are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m still mad at you,” I say quietly. “I have to go home and think about all this. I can’t even look at you.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, looking like he’s losing the world.
“But I don’t care about that right now,” I say. “Just please hold me for a minute, Aaron.”
I haven’t even finished my sentence before Aaron is wrapping his strong arms around me, holding me on the deserted street, our breath steaming in the cool night air. He’s wearing his coat and I burrow inside and wrap my arms around his waist, holding on for dear life, the sound of his steady heartbeat like a calming music.
“If you ever forgive me,” Aaron says in my ear, “I’ll make it up to you for the rest of your life.”
We hold each other for much longer than a minute, but when I finally pull away, I go home by myself.
Chapter Fifteen: Michelle
I sent in my resignation from home via email. That does make Aaron pretty upset and I guess I can’t blame him. I just can’t see a way around it though. With the way things are, even if everything works out with Aaron, I can’t imagine staying at a place where everyone only thinks I’m successful because I’ve been sleeping with the boss.
I take some time updating my resume even though I suspect I won’t really look for work until well after the baby is born. The baby. The puppy. Whichever. At least my position at the firm paid me very well. I won’t need to worry about money for quite a while, even considering all the costs for a birth and an infant. Besides that, I know that if I wanted for anything, Aaron would suddenly appear out of thin air with his wallet wide open.
For a couple days, I just watch some dumb romantic comedies and order take-out. At least it makes sense now why I’ve been so ravenously hungry since getting pregnant. I guess it would follow that a shifter baby would want more food than a regular human, meat especially.
Luna keeps hovering around me, worrying. I hate that I can’t tell her what’s going on. I can explain about the people gossiping at work and not wanting to deal with that. I try to blame my mood on that and hope that someday I’m able to tell her the truth. It seems insane that I’ve lived my whole life like a regular person only to suddenly be thrust into a world of magical creatures where I now have to keep huge parts of my life secret from my friends.
The crazy thing to me is how fast all of this has happened. I called my mother to tell her I was pregnant a few we
eks ago and I felt like I was updating her on an entire year of my life, but it’s hardly been more than a couple months.
Luna and I are watching One Fine Day when I take out my phone, my thumb hovering over Aaron’s name in my contact list. Luna, of course doesn’t miss a thing.
“Can you give me just a hint as to why you’re so pissed at him?” Luna pleads.
“No.”
“Was it because he was a jerk about the work thing?” she asks.
“No.”
“Well geez, Michelle! Give me something!”
I lean over on the couch and throw my arms around her. “What are you doing?” Luna says, laughing. “How is this imparting information?”
“It’s not,” I mumble. “You said to give you something, I’m giving you a hug.”
“I didn’t really need a hug,” Luna says, hugging me back. “But thanks.”
“I needed one,” I say, and she squeezes me tighter. Luna’s very good at hugging.
“Okay, sweetie,” Luna whispers. “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
One day while I’m at home reorganizing the DVD’s that Luna just organized, Aaron texts me and asked if he can take a sample of my blood to prove that I’ve got that shifter gene that he was talking about. He writes a very long text that assures me he understands that I’m still angry and that he understands why but can I possibly agree to this one thing? I feel that the unspoken end of that request is ‘just in case you take me back’. It kind of kills me that he thinks I actually won’t.
The truth is I’m miserable apart from Aaron. I miss his arms around me at night. I miss his mouth tasting me. I even miss his stupid rants about Pirates of the Caribbean. But I’m still afraid of the world he’s opened up for me. I suppose if I let him back in to my life, he could explain to me what this all means. But I find myself scared of the prospect. I’m also still angry.
I leave Aaron on the hook for a day and then I tell him he can come and give me the blood test if it’s really important. I just make sure Luna isn’t home. It’s been hard enough to lie to her but I can’t think of any possible reason why Aaron would be taking my blood that won’t sound insane.
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