“If you can’t do it, then say so now. Because I don’t want you to make her think you’re in her life for good, and then something happens and you disappear.”
The way he’d disappeared from her life eleven years ago. They stood in the hall for a difficult few minutes.
“I’m in her life.” No question. Quinn’s life was where he belonged.
They reentered Quinn’s room and his gaze landed on the sleeping form of his daughter. Now that he was in her life, she would expect things from him. If he messed up, he’d hurt her. He’d hurt Avery.
Avery was right to question him, to hold him accountable. There was always a chance he would fail, that he would let them both down.
But being a father meant so much to him; he knew he would fight for them. He would fight to stay clean and sober, and to be here for his daughter. And for Avery.
One day at a time.
CHAPTER EIGHT
They kept Quinn through the end of the day. Dr. Sylvester had insisted on watching her closely to make sure she was ready to be released. He thought that considering the situation in Pleasant, even a mild concussion needed to be treated cautiously. Avery appreciated his concern. But Quinn was impatient. She wanted to go home, to make sure all of the animals were safe and that her friends were okay. When they were finally released, Avery pushed Quinn in the wheelchair they insisted she use until she got outside. The nurse walked with them to make sure everything went well. Grayson had gone to get the truck.
Grayson had been awfully quiet throughout the day. She had allowed him his peace because he’d seemed to need it. The idea that he had a daughter, that sometimes bad things could happen to her, had all hit him this morning. She knew well what that felt like. She’d been hit by the same realities over the years as Quinn grew up. Each time they experienced a new obstacle or faced another milestone, parenting took on a new dimension. She wanted to reassure him this was all perfectly normal, but a part of her held back, holding on to the boundaries she needed in order to protect herself.
“I’d like to check my home site, to make sure it survived the storm,” she told Grayson as they got closer to Pleasant.
Not that it was really a house, not yet. It was a frame, a beginning. They drove in silence for several minutes. She thought he hadn’t heard but then he nodded. “Yes, we’ll stop by and check it out.”
Ten minutes later they pulled down the rutted dirt drive that led to her building site. It was easy to see what was missing. The house, what there had been of it, was gone. The frame had been tossed about like kindling, boards scattered in all directions. Avery couldn’t breathe.
“Where’s our house?” A groggy Quinn spoke up from the backseat.
“Shhh, go back to sleep.” Avery opened the door as the truck rolled to a stop. She wasn’t surprised when the back door of the truck cab swung open. “Quinn, stay where you are.”
“But I want to go.”
“You just got out of the hospital, so please do not leave the truck.” Grayson said, appearing at Avery’s side. “There are going to be nails and debris that you have to watch for.”
Avery surveyed the remains of what would have been their home. It was now just a foundation, nothing more. She had to step over the boards, beams and other materials that had once made up the frame.
She choked at the sight of the nearby dogwood tree that she’d loved so much. When they began to build the house and needed to level the area, she had made sure they didn’t touch that tree. Now it was split and broken and most of the limbs were missing. Grayson touched her back, guiding her away from all the debris, the nails, the roofing, scattered about.
“It was going to be our home.”
“It will be your home, Avery. You’ll start over.”
She shook her head. “No.”
He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She didn’t pull away. In fact, she rested her head on his shoulder. Growing up, he’d never been a true friend to her; maybe he still wasn’t. How could she trust him now?
She reminded herself that he’d been with her for two of the worst days of her life. He hadn’t left her side all night. He hadn’t called someone else to drive her home. He’d been with her at their daughter’s side. That meant something.
“Why wouldn’t you rebuild, Avery? You’re not a quitter.” His words broke through the barriers she’d built up since yesterday, seeing her baby injured after the storm.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. She brushed them away, wishing to erase evidence of her weakness. She might be brave, but she wasn’t wise.
She’d lost her nest egg.
“My contractor left the state. He took my money and ran off. I was contacted a few days ago by a county deputy. My contractor bilked several people out of money. His bank account is empty. His home is empty. He abandoned his office. He’s gone. I have a loan but it won’t be enough to rebuild the house I had planned. I’ve lost the initial money,” she admitted, shaking her head. “He did have good recommendations. I checked him out first.”
“You’re not the first person to get conned like this.”
She shuddered. “I really dislike that word. Conned. I’m a smart person. I’m educated. How could this have happened?”
“It happens.” He turned her away from the building. “The good news is, I know a guy and so do you. A guy who is more than willing to help you rebuild.”
“You were right all along. The house wasn’t sturdy and my contractor took advantage of my lack of knowledge. But I’m not going to ask you to build my house, Grayson. I know you have your life and your business to return to back in California.”
“But I want to help you.”
He wanted to help. But this mess, it was hers. He hadn’t gotten her into this. He wasn’t responsible for the storm or her mistakes.
“We should probably go. Quinn is tired and I’m sure Nan is no doubt wondering what happened to us.” She scrubbed at her face. “I don’t want her to worry. She hasn’t been herself lately.”
“Nan is fine. She’s with Dad and she’s probably in better shape than most of us. Avery, please...let me help.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to discuss this anymore. It’s too much. I need to focus on one thing at a time. Right now that’s taking care of Quinn. This discussion can wait until later.”
“I agree,” Grayson said as he opened the truck door for her. “We can talk more tomorrow.”
She had one foot on the truck running board so when she shifted in his direction, they were at eye level.
He gave her a soft and sympathetic look, then closed the door as she sat down. Whatever her reasoning, or lack thereof, she was relieved when they finally pulled up to the Stone farm. The sun was just beginning to sink over the western horizon and there were lights in almost every window of the rambling farmhouse. Tucker’s truck was parked close to the house.
“Why don’t I carry Quinn inside,” Grayson said as he got out. “Can you make it okay?”
“Of course,” she assured him. “We really could have stayed at Nan’s.”
“No electricity with a well. That means no water.”
He lifted their daughter from the backseat, then they walked together to the front door of the house. It opened as she reached for the handle.
“I’ve been so worried about you,” Nan said as she gathered Avery up in a hug. Then her attention shifted to Quinn. “How is she feeling?”
“She’s doing okay. She’s tired, though. She slept most of the way home and she’s had a headache,” Avery told her foster mom. She didn’t want to mention the house. If she did, she would cry again and she didn’t want that.
Nan blinked and shook her head. “Of course she’s tired. And I bet you are, too. Nina left food. She also made sure the extra beds have clean sheets. Let’s get you both tucked in.”
“I’m goin
g to get Quinn tucked in and then I’ll curl up on the sofa,” Avery told her foster mom.
“There are plenty of rooms in this old house,” Nan said, leading her inside, being overly gentle, as if she were an injured child. “I am so sorry about your house, honey. But you can start again.”
“Yes, of course.” Avery hugged her foster mother and didn’t remind her that the contractor had left town. Why bring it up now?
Avery followed Grayson down the hall. The room he walked into was a small bedroom with a wrought iron bed, wicker dresser and white blinds on the windows. It wasn’t fancy but it was cozy. Quinn smiled up at them as Grayson settled her in the bed. Avery stepped forward to cover her with a quilt that had been folded at the end of the bed. Quinn looked at them, her expression asking questions that Avery had no answers for.
“Will you sleep with me, Mom?” Quinn asked, her voice small and timid in a way that Avery hadn’t expected.
“Of course, sweetie. Whatever you want. For now, I’ll be in the living room, if you need me. Do you want water or something to eat?”
Quinn shook her head. “I’m not hungry, just tired.”
Avery leaned to kiss her forehead. “Get some sleep.”
“I will.” Quinn waited until she was almost to the door. “Mom, I’m afraid of storms.”
Avery slipped back into the room while Grayson left, giving them much needed time alone. Avery sank onto the bed and cuddled with her daughter, who suddenly seemed every bit the little girl she was.
“I know you’re afraid. It’s easy to be afraid when something like that happens. Then we think about it and worry about it too much. But remember my favorite verses...”
“Don’t worry about tomorrow, today’s troubles are sufficient for themselves. And we can’t add a cubit to our stature by worrying.”
“Right. Worry won’t change anything,” Avery reassured her daughter. “We can’t stop storms, but we can pray and have faith. Yesterday could have been so much worse, honey. I’m so thankful that you’re okay. Even the bad that happened can be fixed.”
“Our house?”
“It might not be what we originally planned, but we will still build a home there.”
She hugged Quinn tight and wished she could take away all of her fear, all of her pain.
“Mommy, I love you.” Quinn’s strong young arms wrapped around her neck.
“I love you more.” She stood up from the bed and gave her daughter a last tender look. “I’ll be in shortly.”
She slipped from the room, knowing full well that Quinn would soon be asleep. Down the hall she found Grayson in the small but cozy living room.
“Is she okay?” he asked, moving to make room for her on the sofa.
“I think so. She’s afraid and tired. I think the fear will take longer to heal than anything.”
“I’m sure it will,” Grayson agreed. “You hungry?”
“I am, a little.”
He got up and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s get a snack.”
He led her to the country kitchen and opened the fridge.
“I know this is crazy, but I really want a fried bologna sandwich.”
Ordinarily, she would have rejected such a thing but tonight it sounded just right. “I agree.”
She stood, hip against the counter, watching as he expertly fried slices of bologna. Next, he buttered hamburger buns and grilled them with just a sprinkle of garlic. She giggled at him, at the entire process.
Grayson shot her a quick look as he forked the bologna onto the buns and then added a squirt of mustard. With flair, of course.
“What are you laughing at?” he asked as he handed over a plate with a sandwich and potato chips.
“You take your fried bologna very seriously.”
“Cooking is an art,” he informed her as he led her to the table in the attached dining room.
They sat next to each other eating their sandwiches, lost in thoughts about the past two days.
After finishing her sandwich, Avery sat back, trying to decide how she felt about this moment. For eleven years her feelings about Grayson had been...not so pleasant. And now here they sat, eating together, laughing together.
She was torn by how she felt about him. Still somewhat hurt and angry, not really trusting him, and yet, wanting him next to her.
Stuck between a rock and a hard place.
* * *
“We should get some sleep,” Grayson said after a few minutes of sitting in companionable silence. Companionable, except for the changing expressions on Avery’s face. If he had to guess, she was thinking too much. Doubting herself, doubting him.
He understood that, since he’d always had big doubts about himself. He wondered if it would help her to know that he’d spent his life—even his childhood, when he seemed so sure of himself—doubting his existence. He’d always doubted whether or not the judge wanted him in his home. He hadn’t ever felt smart enough, good enough. He hadn’t been enough for either of his parents.
He gathered up their plates from the table.
“I’ll do the dishes.” She took the plates from his hands.
“I can do the dishes.”
Grayson smiled down at her, getting lost in the dark shadows under her eyes in the dimly lit room. He should have turned on more lights, made the room less dark. He paused to clear his thoughts and there she was, still looking up at him as if she, too, was trapped in this moment.
His younger self would have taken advantage of the moment. But he knew that no good could be found down this path. They hovered like that, on a precipice of emotion, tangled up in the past and the present.
Her eyes drifted closed for just a moment, then she let go of the plates and backed away. Good thing he still had hold of them. The crash would have woken up the whole house.
“I’ll let you do the dishes.” She spoke in hushed tones. “I should go check on Quinn anyway.”
“Good night, Avery.”
She hesitated, then spun around and hurried away from him. He watched her go, laughing unexpectedly. They were on a fast train, he and Avery. Maybe different trains.
Would they switch tracks, collide or figure out a way to be together as a family? He shook off the thoughts. He’d never been a romantic or a man given to poetry. And that sentiment was just a little too flowery for him.
He finished washing the dishes, stacked them in the drainer and went to check on Quinn. He stood motionless at the closed door, remembering that Avery had promised to sleep with their daughter. He wandered back to the living room. Nan was there.
“Nan, can I help you find something?”
She looked confused, as if she was sleepwalking.
“Grayson, what are you doing here?” she asked.
“Avery and I got home earlier, remember?”
Nan blinked a few times. “Oh, that’s right. I think I was sleeping too hard and completely forgot where I was. I’m used to being at my old house. You know, I’ve only slept away from that place maybe a half dozen times in my entire life.”
“No vacations, Nan?”
She sat down in his dad’s beat-up old recliner that still smelled of cigar smoke, although the judge had quit smoking years ago. Why he didn’t throw that chair out was a mystery.
“No, only a time or two to visit Avery and Quinn when they lived in Kansas City.”
“Maybe you’ll come visit me in California?” He asked as he sat down in the chair opposite hers.
She cocked her head to the side and studied him for a long moment. “Grayson, are you taking my girls from me?”
“I don’t think they would go,” he admitted. “Avery is past the stage of wanting me in her life. And I’ll be honest, Nan. I’m scared to death of being the wrong man for her. I’ve hurt her before and I can’t promise I wouldn’t hurt her again.”
“I do, most of the time. But I’m a recovering addict. I haven’t felt a need to use in years, but that doesn’t mean that I might not at some point.”
She leaned forward in the chair. “Maybe so, Grayson. But maybe not. What if you miss out, all because of fear?”
“I would hate to miss out,” he admitted.
She pushed herself out of the chair, still spry but moving a little slower tonight. Springing up, he gave her his arm and she took it, letting him guide her down the hallway to her room. She hesitated at Quinn’s room.
“Do you want to check on them?” he asked.
“No, I’ll let them sleep.” She patted his arm and then she slipped into her room.
Grayson woke up several times during the night. As tired has he’d been, he had trouble falling and staying asleep.
At sunrise he gave up. He got up, dressed and went to sit on the covered back porch. He’d gotten into a habit of morning coffee and prayer time on that porch overlooking the Stone family farm. He enjoyed watching the distant traces of mist rising from the river. He even enjoyed watching the “livestock” as they grazed. Dolly, Jack and Tony the llama were forever a part of this place. Even if they did get out on an almost daily basis. It wasn’t that he didn’t repair the fences; it was just that they always found a new place to escape.
The cattle also grazed but their presence wasn’t quite the same. Somehow, he’d gotten attached to the misfit animals his father had brought home.
His attention turned to the building site across the way. The frame of the house gone, it now looked like someone had played a game of pick up sticks. Avery had planned that home for herself and her daughter. She would continue to live with Nan, but that didn’t ease the heartache of her loss. This morning there would be families all over the area waking up in a new reality. Their homes or businesses were gone, their barns were gone, livestock also gone.
As he walked across the rain-damp grass in the direction of the barn, he knew that he could and would help. Pleasant had been his hometown, the place where he grew up. He was here now for a purpose. He thought back to his original plan to come here for a weeklong trip, not weeks. If things hadn’t changed, he wouldn’t have been here with Avery, with Quinn, helping his community, building these relationships.
Love Inspired June 2021--Box Set 1 of 2 Page 27