There were quite a few members with shame-faced expressions.
Z shook his head. “Gossip happens wherever people gather. However, when the talk becomes destructive to someone’s reputation or potentially harmful to another person, I would request you let me or Ghost know.”
A murmur of agreement came from the people.
“Now,” Z’s smile flashed, “if our Shadowkittens have no more to present, let’s return to enjoying our evening.”
Almost dancing with glee, Sally and Gabi walked over.
Ghost eyed them. “You pulled off quite an operation, ladies.” When they grinned and exchanged fist-bumps with each other, he added the question he’d been considering since Valerie started talking. “Who put it all together?”
“Valerie did,” Sally said. “She was the one who called Drake and talked to Faylee.”
The awakening of hope was painful.
Gabi’s head tilted. “You seem surprised, Colonel.”
“Actually, yes. I thought she’d believed the rumors.” If not, then why had she backed away last night?
“I didn’t get that impression at all,” Gabi said. “In fact, she reamed out a group of gossipers last night.”
“She’s the one who gathered us all together at her apartment to plan this,” Sally added.
Valerie believed in him and had defended him. The feeling was indescribable—like he was back in Special Forces with his teammates to guard his six.
Beside Ghost, Jessica stiffened. He followed her gaze.
At the bar, Z was getting his toy bag from Josie. He slung it over his shoulder.
“Oh God.” Jessica bit her lip. “He plans to play. Why do I think my night might involve more pain than pleasure?”
From Z’s point of view, the Shadowkittens had completely disrupted the usual club evening…without obtaining permission. Ghost asked gravely, “How involved were you in setting this up?”
“I was part of the group. Do you think being pregnant will save me?”
Betting she was the one who gave Valerie the code to the speaker controls, Ghost smothered a smile. “Perhaps.”
Not a chance.
Ghost bowed his head slightly to the three women. “You have my gratitude. Thank you.”
As he moved away, he looked around. He needed to thank Valerie, as well. And…ask her a few questions.
However, if she’d rescued his reputation in her capacity as a friend and believed there was no “them”, she might well decide to slip out without speaking to him.
That wasn’t going to happen.
Chapter Eighteen
Valerie had restored the music, returned the equipment to the owners, and touched base with her conspirators who were in high spirits.
It was time to make her escape. Ghost was the sort of man who’d feel he had to thank her for her part in this. Talk about awkward.
After expressing his gratitude, he’d undoubtedly return to his new play partner. And that would hurt.
As she crossed the room, a muscular sandy-haired man stepped into her path. “Nice presentation, and I’d have to agree you’ve been very good. Do you want your spanking now?”
What?
She stared at him a second. Oh, oh! She had on the shirt she’d bought from Natalia. The one saying SPANK ME I’ve been good.
Chuckling, she shook her head. “I’m afraid I have to be elsewhere.”
He tilted his head in acceptance and stepped out of her way. “Hopefully, some other time.”
“Maybe so.” She smiled and headed off.
Maybe someday the time would come. When the hurt died. A pang of sadness hit. When she’d first come to the Shadowlands, such an offer from an attractive Dom would have made her night.
Now, it just made her regret the offer hadn’t come from Ghost.
Get moving, woman. Detouring, she swung by the bar. “Thank you for the help, Josie.”
Busy drawing a beer, the redheaded bartender chuckled. “It went a lot better than I thought it would.”
“I know.” Valerie blew out a breath. “Did you get into any trouble?”
“There was a moment. Z gave me a look, and I swear, I took a couple of steps back. But then he shook his head and simply asked for his toy bag.”
“Thank the gods.”
“Right?” Josie set the beer on a tray for a server. “I thought I was off free and clear, but before he walked away, he said Master Holt would instruct me on appropriate behavior.”
“Uh-oh.”
“I’ll be fine.” Josie grinned. “I daresay you might be getting the same sort of lesson from—”
“Doubtful.” Ignoring Josie’s frown, Valerie gave the bar a quick farewell tap. “You take care now.”
As she headed for the door at a quick pace, a shriek, then giggling from the dance floor caught her attention. A “little” was banging a stuffie on the ground. Her Daddy Dom hauled her up and over his shoulder. When she kicked her legs, a reproving smack on her bare thigh drew a squeal that made everyone laugh.
So cute.
Hating to leave, Valerie turned back toward the door and ran right into someone. “Oh sorry, I wasn’t watching where—”
“It’s a very bad habit, pet.” Ghost’s deep, rough voice blasted through her defenses like a hot knife through butter.
He closed his hands on her upper arms.
“Ghost.” She tried to step back, but his grip tightened.
Gaze on his chest, she said in a flurry of words, “I know, I know, you’re grateful, so you’re welcome. Now, I really do need to be leaving.”
Silence. Then a low chuckle. He cupped her chin with a warm palm and lifted her head. “Look at me, Valerie.”
Her heart thumped crazily in her chest. “What?” Good grief, she sounded as surly as her son at fifteen.
A smile eased Ghost’s stern mouth as he moved his hand to curl around her nape. “I think it’s time we talk.” Even as she shook her head no, he added, “Or I can tie you down and role-play an interrogation scene to get my answers.”
Play with him again. Every single cell in her body started to rejoice. “No, absolutely not. Are you crazy?”
Still holding the back of her neck, he studied her with a focused intelligence. “For someone who defended me so vigorously, you sound as if you don’t trust me.”
Oh no, she didn’t mean to make him feel bad. “Of course, I trust you,” she said hastily.
Amusement flickered in his eyes before his gaze turned razor sharp again.
Holding her unmoving, he stroked a finger over her lips, down her neck, and into her cleavage.
Her nipples tightened so fast and hard they ached.
On top of her shirt, he brushed over the lettering on the right and left of the V-neck. SPANK ME. “You wrote out your request right over your breasts. Nice.”
She shook her head. No.
“Professor, I think we need a scene—one where I beat on your pretty ass until I get some answers.”
Sadness filled her to overflowing. Her voice came out hoarse. “They won’t be the answers you want.”
His hand slid up from her nape to tangle in her hair, his grip almost painful. “That happens.”
“I should go.”
“I don’t think so.” His gaze darkened. “Say yes, Valerie.”
She shouldn’t. No, she really shouldn’t.
But to be with him…one last time?
Her whisper was barely loud enough for him to hear. “Yes.”
Sometime later, she realized the wonderful, amazing pain had paused. When had the world disappeared?
She blinked, trying to focus her eyes. Gleaming brown…a hardwood floor. Right. She was naked, bent over a tall, four-legged barstool. Her wrists were bound together to one of the legs. Her thighs were spread, and ropes secured her parted knees to the wooden legs.
Some unknowable time ago, Ghost had warmed her up and then started alternating between paddling her ass and flogging her. Hard enough she’d struggled
to escape. Hard enough she’d cried.
And then the pain slid into a sensual golden space where each blow made the air sparkle. She turned her head and saw his legs. He was standing next to the stool.
“You make the prettiest canvas, pet.” His fingers traced over her bottom in a ripple of heat like small wavelets. “Your skin turns such a nice red.”
Three more blows of the paddle hit her bottom. How could sparkles feel so warm?
And then he went down on his haunches in front of her. He lifted her head slightly so he could look into her eyes.
“Now, let’s talk a bit,” he murmured in his gravelly baritone. His green eyes held hers in a steady gaze.
“What?” The word came out slurred, as if she was drunk. And she was—drunk on endorphins.
The sunlines next to his eyes deepened. “Normally, when we meet, I get a hug and kiss. Last night, you stepped back. Because you’d heard the rumors…”
“What? Uh-uh. I never…didn’t hear anything till I was leaving.” Her mouth closed. She wasn’t going to say that, was she? If he knew she hadn’t—
“If it wasn’t the rumors, then why didn’t I get a hug?”
Her eyes closed, trying to shut him out. She shook her head as her mind started to focus again. There was no way she’d tell him it was because he’d found someone else.
“I see. Then we’ll keep going.”
Keep…going?
The whap against her ass stung like fire because she’d slid out of the warm fog, but as he continued, hard and soft, right and left, up and down from her upper thighs to her upper buttocks, the feeling of the stool beneath her disappeared.
Then he was flogging her, the heavy blows thudding hard enough to shake her bones, and somehow the floor turned all foggy, too.
Sometime later, he ran his hands through her hair. Touched her cheek. “Valerie, why didn’t you want to be with me last night?”
Last night was a long time ago. “I was sad,” she whispered.
“I hate seeing you sad,” he said in a low voice. “Why were you unhappy, pet?”
“You found someone else to play with.” The feeling swept over her again, the hurt of seeing him with the beautiful submissive. Tears filled her eyes.
“Did I now? But I had you, sweetheart. Why would I want someone else?”
Her mouth opened, and then she frowned. What in the world am I saying? She pulled at the ropes on her wrists, shaking her head.
And then the flogger was dancing over her back, sending a hot wave of desire through her. Somehow, she was rippling along on the tops of the waves. A harder blow made her gasp and squeak, and he laughed, a rough, amused sound. Pain and desire hit so hard she shuddered.
“Valerie.”
She blinked. “Where did you go?”
“Oh, I had to beat on you a while. You were telling me why I wanted someone else besides you.”
She was? Easy enough. “I’m not young, not beautiful anymore.”
“Mmmph, neither am I.”
“You’re a man. Women are… We have to be beautiful.” She tried to get her thoughts to work. “Or useful. Or we’re worthless. Throw us away.”
He was quiet enough she started to drift, pleased he understood.
“Did your parents think you were worthless?”
My parents. She wouldn’t think about them; she wouldn’t. Her mouth closed.
“There’s an unhappy frown.” He gripped her hair tightly, and the feeling of being controlled, totally under his authority, washed heat over her skin. “When they were mad, what did they say to you?”
A chill wind swept away the warmth surrounding her. “With your looks, you better learn to be useful.”
“…never wanted to have a fucking kid, let alone an ugly one.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Ghost said under his breath. “Those bastards.”
“No, they—” Wait, what had she said?
“Shhh.” With a palm under her cheek, he stroked her hair. “I heard your ex’s slave is shit-talking you. I bet that’s bringing back the bullshit you suffered as a child.”
She wiggled, trying to focus on what he was saying. “What?”
“It’s good to know what I have to fight.” With a satisfied chuckle, he kissed her. Slowly. Tenderly. “You thought I’d found someone younger to play with—and you backed away.”
Her mind cleared enough to know she’d made a fool out of herself. But the truth was the truth. “I saw her, Ghost. How could you resist someone so pretty who drops to her knees in front of you?”
“Very easily, actually. Especially since she pulled some manipulative crap after I said I wasn’t interested.” He brushed his fingers over Valerie’s cheek. “I lectured her about proper submissive behavior and left her in the subbie waiting area.”
“But…she’s young.”
He snorted. “Not an enticement. I’d rather spend time with someone who grew up with the same music and movies and books. Who doesn’t use a phone as another appendage.”
She understood…because she had loved how Ghost understood the jokes and movie quotes she’d grown up with.
“I like that sex with you is more relaxed. You have experience, know what you like. Like to give as well as take. Like to explore.”
She was starting to feel good. Really good.
“I want a woman who’s lived a few decades. And as it happens, I like a soft woman under me.” His voice dropped to a rumbling growl. “You are very soft, pet.”
Oh.
He kissed her again. “Be warned, lass. We’re going to work on the crap you absorbed from your folks.”
“I…I learned what they said wasn’t true.” But then she let it affect her again. She sighed. “Or so I thought.”
“That’s all right.” A corner of his mouth tilted up. “I’ll have no problem punishing you any time I discover you thinking unkind thoughts about yourself.”
A horrified squeak escaped her.
His smile widened. “Actually, let me rephrase; I’ll enjoy the hell out of it.”
Oh gods.
Chapter Nineteen
Sixty…sixty-one… The next morning, Valerie lay on the carpet in her apartment and tried for another crunch. Her abs burned like fire. I can do it… Or not. With a groan, she flopped like a dead person onto the carpet. And ow. Her back and shoulders stung, too, because…flogger.
She smiled and wiggled her shoulders, savoring the light pain.
What a day and night.
Thank goodness she’d convinced Faylee and Master Drake to make the video. It hadn’t been easy. Then again, she’d grown up supervising the self-important housekeepers in her parents’ home, raised two children, and taught for years. She had skills.
There hadn’t been any need to convince the Shadowkittens. The amazing group of women had simply rallied around.
Valerie sat up and put her arms around her knees. The actual presentation in the Shadowlands had gone off better than she could have dreamed. Spit, but she’d been tense, what with worrying how the members would react.
And how Master Z would react. She’d half thought he might shove her into one of the cages for disobedient submissives.
Mostly, she’d worried what Ghost would think.
Resting her chin on her knees, she thought about his face. When he saw Faylee and realized what was going on, his jaw had gone hard.
And her stomach had sank.
But as the members started swearing at Wrecker’s lies, he’d been surprised. She’d known then he wouldn’t be resigning and was going to be all right.
And…she’d realized she loved him.
Not that she’d admitted it to herself or him during his “interrogation”—no, she hadn’t been thinking at all then.
But later, upstairs in his “quarters”, when he’d been inside her, filling her, his green eyes trapping hers…then she’d known.
She was in love with him. With Ghost. With Dr. Finn Blackwood. With the Dom and sadist and manager of the Shado
wlands.
Way to go, self. Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with anyone? To stay out of a relationship?
Her jealousy should have been a warning to run, far and fast. But noooo, her heart operated independently of all her rules.
She tightened her arms around her knees as worry slid through her.
When Barry dumped her, it’d hurt so much, even though, by that time, their marriage felt more like roommates than lovers.
But with Ghost? Every time he spoke to her, laughed with her, touched her—her heart radiated with joy, and her emotions danced.
If—when—he walked away, it was going to shatter her into tiny pieces.
She breathed out.
Face it, woman, it’s too late to flee. At this point, running away would simply mean she would hurt much sooner.
Might as well accept the inevitable. If studying the various religions had taught her anything, it was that one should savor each moment with one’s beloved.
She could push him away—or cling obsessively—in fear of losing him to someone else or even to death. Or she could accept that change would happen and make the most of what she felt.
Because she really did love him.
For a few minutes, she simply indulged in the glory of the emotion. Of feeling alive and being able to give, to receive.
She’d never thought she’d feel this way about a man again.
The world really did hold miracles.
Eventually, she returned to earth…after remembering making love with him a few times.
And then she remembered their condom discussion after he’d returned from disposing of one and cleaning up.
She grinned. He’d been so sneaky…
“You know, a nice woman would take pity on a poor crippled veteran and let him stop using condoms.”
She’d sat up and smacked him on the arm. “I don’t believe it; you’re using your leg as a guilt card.”
“You use the weapons that are available.” His sexy grin flashed. “Or the cards that are dealt. But, seriously, if you’re all right with it, let’s lose the rubbers. I know you were checked when you joined the Shadowlands—and I had one done last week. I left the results for you on the dresser.”
The Effing List Page 23