by H Q Kingsley
He moaned into my mouth, and his hands started to trail down over my shoulders.
I pulled back and frowned at him.
“What?” he asked, staring innocently up at me, his long eyelashes fluttering.
“You know what you’re doing, and you know what I’m going to say,” I said, giving him a hard look.
“Come on. You were right. The bath helped. I’m ready to go again.” He tried to climb out of the tub, and I sat him back down.
“No,” I said firmly. “And even if I was going to, I don’t have time. I’ve got to get to the site.”
“Okay, well get me dressed. Let’s go,” Zyke said, trying to get up again, but I stopped him once more.
“You’re not going. Stay here. Relax. And maybe we’ll have a conversation about trying again when I get home.”
Zyke pursed his lips in a pout, and I kissed them.
“But I’m going to miss you,” he whined, and the sweetness of it nearly made me cave.
“I’m going to miss you, too, Peanut.” I kissed him again. “But it’s just one day.”
“I’ll miss you less if you promise we’ll try again when you get back?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Are you trying to blackmail me?”
“Maybe,” Zyke sing-songed.
“Too smart for your own damned good.”
16
Zyke
I bussed around the apartment, singing and cleaning and most of all, missing Omar. When had I become so completely and utterly obsessed with him? And when had I gotten so confident that I wasn’t even worried about if he found that annoying? I was finally secure. I finally felt genuinely loved.
I finished cleaning up the living room and moved into the bedroom. It was a variable nest of things that I hadn’t realized I’d been collecting and letting build up.
I moved, folding up some of the clothes I’d piled over the bed, sniffing at each of Omar’s shirts as I went. How did he smell so damn intoxicating all the time? Even just the traces of scent he left behind on his clothes made my heart beat a little bit faster.
I kept folding and cleaning, tidying everything up and getting more and more excited about Omar coming home to see what I’d done. I lived for his praise and that big, bright smile he wore every time he told me what a good boy I was.
I walked across the room to put Omar’s shirts in his drawer. He’d been pretty insistent that he could just live out of his duffle for a while until he realized that it made me feel like he was preparing to bolt at any moment. And then the very next day, we were shopping for dressers.
I pulled open the top drawer and tucked his shirts in and then moved to the bottom drawer to start loading up his pants. He only had a handful of them, but he was so big, they took up a lot of space.
I stopped as I moved to place a pair of jeans in and saw something small sticking out of one of the pockets.
I pulled it out and frowned at the folded paper for a moment before opening it up. Another tiny slip of paper floated out of it and landed in my lap.
I picked it up and my mouth went dry as I read the name and address scrawled across the paper in Omar’s handwriting.
Chase Fury.
I tried to swallow but my throat was too dry. The Chase Fury. The address to Belaria’s palace confirmed it. Omar had written a letter to the iconic leader of the rebel army that had taken down the king of Belaria. The first democratic ruler of the seven kingdoms. He was historic, he was legend...and my boyfriend was writing him letters.
I frowned at the papers in my hand. I should fold it up and put it back in his pocket. His letters were none of my business. I knew that. I knew reading it would violate some sort of unspoken agreement of privacy, but I couldn’t help myself. Why had he hidden it from me? I spent every moment with him, and he’d gone out of his way to write a letter in secret. I had to know why.
I took a deep breath as I held the paper in my hands, quietly making the decision to read it.
Chase,
It feels weird writing to you like this, especially considering the way we left things, but I feel like I have to. Because I still love you. I’ve come to realize that I will always love you.
I put the letter down, my hands shaking so hard that I was afraid I might rip it. I shouldn’t have read it. I knew that. I knew it was wrong and I’d done it anyway, and now, I was paying for it. Now, there was a sharp pain in my chest threatening to completely tear me apart.
My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes and breaths came in shaky huffs. Of course Chase Fury was his ex. Only guys like Chase Fury were good enough for Omar. And of course he was still in love with him. Who wouldn’t be? Chase Fury was….Chase Fury. He was gorgeous and brave and he stood for something. He stood for everything.
And what was I? Just a weak, pathetic substitute. I’d stood up to my father exactly one time and then I’d run away and nearly gotten Omar killed in the process. I didn’t deserve someone like Omar...more importantly, Omar deserved someone better than me.
“Peanut, I’m home!” Omar called out comically as he stepped through the front door.
Any other night I might have been amused. I might have chuckled and run into his arms, but not tonight.
Tonight, I was heartbroken.
“Peanut?” Omar called obviously having expected me to run to him. “Are you playing hide-and-seek?” he asked, his voice still light and carefree as he wandered through the apartment.
He stilled in the doorway when he found me still on the floor by the dresser in our bedroom.
“Peanut!” He rushed to me and dropped down to my side, taking me in his arms and examining me. “Are you okay? What happened?”
I suddenly realized what a mess I must have looked. I’d been crying for hours, my eyes were likely bloodshot and puffy, my cheeks were probably tearstained, even my legs were numb beneath me from sitting for so long on the hard floor.
“I-I’m okay,” I hiccupped, my voice scratchy and broken. “I just…”
I climbed out of his arms and moved to pick the letter back up. I hadn’t picked it back up since trying to read it the first time.
I handed it to him and wiped my face in vain as a new stream of tears flowed down my cheeks.
“I-I know I shouldn’t have read it, but…” My voice cracked, and I tried to clear away the tightness in my throat. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hide from me that you…” I tried to blink back some of the tears, tried to force myself to say it. “You deserve…”
A sob broke from my throat, opening up the floodgates again and making me hysterical.
Omar moved to me, pulling me into his lap. “Peanut,” he said softly, wiping at some of my tears. “I wasn’t trying to hide it, I just…” He sighed. “You didn’t read the whole thing, did you?”
I shook my head. I didn’t need to read the whole thing. Just a couple of sentences of it cut me deep enough to break me.
“It’s okay. I get it,” I said, finally pulling myself together a little. “He’s Chase Fury. He’s perfect. I bet he can ride you like a champion without a single tear.”
Omar blinked at me before he burst into laughter. “Well, that’s an interesting take,” he said, still laughing.
I was glad he could find the humor in it while I was dying inside.
I let out a long breath as he took the letter in his hands.
“Chase,” he started, and I shook my head. If I didn’t even want to read it myself, I certainly didn’t want to hear him proclaim his love for someone else in his own voice. “It feels weird writing to you like this, especially considering the way we left things, but I feel like I have to. Because I still love you. I’ve come to realize that I will always love you.”
I shook my head. “No, please. Stop.”
Omar cleared his throat and continued, “And now I understand what that love means. You’re my best friend. My brother. I finally understand what you were trying to tell me about Milo, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t the brother you needed then.
I have my own Milo now and I get it. He’s my mate, my heart and soul, and what I feel for him is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone before…”
I blinked, turning my head to get a look at the letter, but my vision was still blurry from tears. Was that really in there?
“He makes me happy,” Omar continued to read. “Happier than I think I’ve ever been, and I wanted to share that with you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I never let you share that with me when you found your happiness.
My father told me about your quadruplets. I hope that I get to meet them one day.
I hope that you’re as happy as I am.
With love, Omar.”
I stared at him, my gaze jumping between him and the letter in disbelief.
Omar sighed as he folded it back up and tossed it to the side.
“I should have told you about Chase,” he said softly. “I should have told you he was my ex, that he was the reason I came here. He’s the reason we met, and I just feel...I feel like I owe him everything for that. And the way that I left him...it wasn’t pretty. I owe him this letter.”
I swallowed and nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
He shook his head and shifted his weight to cradle me in his arms. “But Peanut, when are you going to stop doubting my love for you?”
I blinked, my eyes watering again. “I don’t know,” I squeaked. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He ran his thumb across my cheek. “Just know that I’m absolutely crazy about you, whether you can ‘ride my dick like a champ’ or not.”
I laughed despite myself. I couldn’t believe I’d really said that now. And the adoring look in Omar’s eyes made me wonder how I could have ever questioned him. How I could have ever doubted him for even a second.
“Nobody makes me feel like you do, Peanut,” he said, placing a quick, soft kiss to my nose. “Nobody makes me laugh like you do,” he said as he dipped his head to kiss my lips.
His hands moved to cradle me tighter against him. “And nobody, nobody turns me on like you, Peanut.”
I shuddered as he gripped my ass with one of his large hands.
He dipped his head into the crook of my neck and breathed in deep. “Just the smell of you makes me hard.”
He arched his hips into me, holding me tight in his lap so that I could feel him hardening beneath me.
He lifted, licking his tongue into my mouth, and I moaned as he kissed me, deep and hungry. “The taste of you, the way you moan, that sweet, little tight ass.” He practically growled each word as he rocked his hips up and into me, dry humping me as he cradled me.
He looked into my eyes. “Gods, the way you look at me.” His hips moved more adamantly into me, his grip on my ass getting painfully tight until he let out a shaking grunt and his arms squeezed against me.
A warm wetness pooled under me as he came in his jeans with me in his arms.
I reached up to cup his face, beckoning him to kiss me again. I’d never made him come in his pants before, I’d never known that I possibly could.
“You’re everything to me,” he said breathlessly against my lips.
I nodded, stroking his cheek and arching to kiss him again.
“You’re everything to me, too,” I whispered.
My limbs were stiff and sore when I woke up. Sleeping cradled in Omar’s arms had been worth it though. I’d felt so raw with him the night before, so emotionally connected to him as he held me, kissing me on and off. Even as we drifted off to sleep, his head would pop up every few hours as he stirred awake and he’d kiss me some more until we both slept again.
I loved him more than I could put into words, and despite my own problems with confidence, I’d never again question his love for me.
Omar groaned as I climbed out of his arms.
“Where are you going?” he complained.
“The same place you’re going. To work. We’ve got to pay for this place remember,” I teased. “Unless you want to call Chase Fury and ask for a loan.”
Omar arched a brow as a slow smile pulled at his lips. “Oh, so we’re joking about it now?” His bones creaked as he climbed to his feet.
I nodded. “Yes. We’re joking about it now.”
He yanked me up into his arms and kissed me. “I guess we should get a shower and get out of here, then, because I’m never calling anyone for a loan.”
I laughed, wrapping my legs around him as he carried me to the bathroom.
I held onto him as he started the shower, hanging around his neck like a koala on a tree.
He stepped into the shower with me like that, working to wash us both and shifting my weight to let water between us since I refused to let him go, whining when he tried to put me down.
“Will you fuck me tonight” I asked when he met my eyes. “Like, really. Let me take all of you?”
Omar ran his fingers through my damp hair. “I won't hurt you, Peanut,” he said, making me sigh in disappointment.
“Please,” I begged.
“Is this about—”
“It’s not about Chase,” I said before he could get the words out. “It’s just...I’ve wanted to feel all of you. I want you to mark me. I want our bond to be forever.”
He quickly kissed me. “Our bond is forever.”
I pursed my lips in a pout. “You know what I mean.” I sighed. “Don’t you want to feel connected with me like that too?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then why won’t you. I told you, I don’t care how much it hurts.”
Omar took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s not that simple for me. It doesn’t turn me on to hurt you. I can’t keep going if you’re hurting.”
I frowned. I understood. I couldn’t do anything to hurt him ever, but I was still desperate to wear his mark. Dying to be a part of him in that way.
“We’ll keep trying,” Omar promised. “We’ve got our whole lives together. What’s the rush?”
There was something wrong, I could feel it before we even stepped foot on the site. But once we had, I could see the destruction.
We’d been working for weeks putting the community center back together, and in the night, in a single damn night, all of our work had been destroyed.
Debris and trash had been piled up a mile high over the foundation that we’d just cleaned up. The pavement we’d started to lay was soiled and ruined, and the site itself was surrounded by soldiers in blue.
“What the hell happened?” Omar asked one of our fellow workers.
“What do you think?” he spit. “The goddamn royals. They say we’re not allowed to rebuild.”
“Did they say why?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Because ‘the crown decides what buildings we get,’ at least that’s what the soldiers keep spouting off.” The man’s eyes turned cold as he looked me over. “This is your fault, isn’t it? You’re one of them!”
Omar barred his arm, quickly moving me behind him.
“Back down and watch what you say to him,” Omar growled.
The man looked up at him and took a step back. He’d be crazy not to. Omar was a giant, and he was intimidating as hell well he decided to threaten someone.
“This isn’t over,” the man said as he turned to walk away.
Omar gently nudged me. “We need to get out of here,” he said, guiding me forward.
I nodded, moving more quickly to get away from the site before things spiraled.
Once we’d made it far enough away that Omar let me slow my pace, the anger started to set it. I’d run. Again.
My father had done something despicable, and I just let him get away with it.
“We should go back,” I said.
“No, we shouldn’t.”
“We should go back and fight.” Tears collected in my eyes as rage built in my chest. “My father can’t keep getting away with this shit.”
Omar stopped and crouched to meet my eyes. “I know that you want to help, but pe
ople are angry. They’re just looking for someone like you to come along so they can take their anger out on you. I won’t let that happen.”
A sob broke free from my throat. “I have to do something,” I cried. “I’m so tired of doing nothing.”
Omar’s arms wrapped around me, and I collapsed into them.
“I know, Peanut,” he said softly. “Come on. Let me take you somewhere.”
I cocked my head to the side, staring curiously up at Omar as he stopped and opened his arms. “Here we are,” he said, gesturing over a large, open field of dirt and dry grass before leading into a thick range of forest.
“Um, okay,” I said, cocking my head to the other side to look out at the field. “I don’t get it.”
When I turned back to Omar he was peeling out of his clothes.
I licked my lips. “I still don’t get it, but I think I like it.”
Omar laughed as he looked at me staring hungrily back at him.
“Take your clothes off,” he said, and I immediately jumped to obey, but slowed when he finished with, “we’re going to shift.”
I stopped pulling my shirt off and shook my head. “No,” I said softly. “I don’t want to do that.”
Omar stepped toward me, his naked body distracting me a little.
He tucked his finger under my chin and tilted my head to look up at him.
“Do you trust me, Peanut?”
I nodded. “Of course I do.”
“You need this. It’ll make you feel better.”
“B-but…”
Omar pressed his finger to my lips. “No buts, except for yours, naked and ready to run with me.”
My face heated. I’d let Omar see every part of me, and he’d never faltered. He’d never seen me as anything other than beautiful. I had to trust him with this. As disconnected as I was with it, my lion was a part of me. And Omar needed to see it.
I nodded, and Omar reached to pull my shirt off.
He leaned in to kiss me before crouching to undo my pants and slip them down.
“Okay,” I said as I stepped out of them. “Now what?”