by J. Lynn
“You’re not going anywhere,” I told her. “I want you in here, with me. So get that pretty ass under these blankets. I want to snuggle.”
“Snuggle?” She didn’t move for a moment and then she did, shaking her head and then scrambling under the blanket, on the far side of the bed.
I climbed in before I fell in, and as soon as my ass hit those cool sheets, I reached out and circled an arm around her waist, drawing her back against my front. “Snuggling,” I explained, “requires two people to be close together.”
“Understood,” she said, and then wiggled her bottom a little, as if she was getting comfortable. “Tanner?”
“Yeah?”
I felt her draw in a deep breath. “Thank you.”
I frowned. “For what?”
“For…for all of that.”
Lifting my head, I looked down at her, and I froze for a moment. Thick lashes fanned her cheeks, and her slightly swollen lips were parted. The height of her cheeks was flushed, and even though we’d just fucked like two wild animals, there was still an odd air of…peace around her. It didn’t make sense, but that’s what I saw and felt. It had to be one of the rarest moments to see her like that.
I settled back down. There were a lot of words I wanted to say as I kissed her shoulder. There were a lot of things I was feeling as I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against her shoulder, but at that moment, words didn’t seem adequate compared to what I was feeling, so I held her tighter to my chest and did something I couldn’t recall doing before, with anyone.
I fell asleep with Andrea in my arms.
Chapter 15
Andrea
For the first time in forever, I woke up with my body tangled with a man’s. As my senses slowly kicked back on, the first thing I thought was that I’d never stayed a night with a guy before. Not even my boyfriend back in high school, for obvious reasons.
This…this was a huge first.
I was still lying on my side and Tanner was still pressed against my back. For several minutes, I dared not to make any sudden moves to disturb him, because I liked the way I was cocooned in his embrace. No. Not just liked. I loved it, and as I stared at the wall across from his large bed, I knew I could easily get used to this. Maybe I should, because he had said there’d be a later for us, lots of laters, if I remembered correctly.
Last night had been one of the most amazing nights of my life, and no matter what happened between Tanner and me, I wasn’t going to let myself regret one single moment of it. No way.
So I lay there, soaking up every second like a sponge, and I don’t know how much time passed, but I felt him harden against my bottom. I sucked in a sharp breath, unsure if he was awake or not. Well, part of him was definitely awake.
The arm resting over my waist moved slightly and my eyes popped open when his large hand closed over my breast. Yep. He was awake.
Lips brushed my shoulder. “Morning,” Tanner spoke in a rough voice.
“Good morning,” I said, my gaze dropping to his hand. He ran his thumb over the tip of my breast and squeezed gently.
“You sleep okay?” Tanner shifted, wiggling his leg between mine.
My heart skipped a beat. “I slept like a baby.”
“Hmm. Wonder why?” His lips skated over the slope of my shoulder. “Guess what?”
I hesitated and then lifted my hand, folding it over his. “You’re horny?”
His deep laugh stirred the hair at the base of my neck. “I’m hungry.”
“Oh. Well then, this is awkward.”
He nipped at the sensitive spot below my ear as he slid his hand down from my breast, to the space between my legs. “I’m hungry for you.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” Arching my back, I pressed my bottom against him.
His groan turned me on even more.
“You’re right.” His hand slipped further between my legs. Sensation trilled through my veins. “You’re totally right.”
His hand disappeared from between my thighs, and I felt him move behind me. Then I heard a wrapper being torn, I started to roll to face him, but the hand on my hip stopped me. I stilled, biting down on my lip as that hand trailed up my side and then smoothed down the center of my back. Since I couldn’t see what he was up to, the anticipation had a razor-sharp edge to it, almost desperate.
“Tanner,” I whispered, wanting.
“Damn.” His body was flush against mine again, and I could feel him hot and hard against my lower back. “You’re already ready, aren’t you?”
Before I had a chance to respond, he moved again. Both hands landed on my hips as he rose behind me. I was on my belly, my legs spread and he was between them, one hand remaining on my hip. My pulse sped up as I slid my hands up the sheet, bracing my weight on my forearms. I turned my head, peering back at Tanner over my shoulder.
Goodness, he looked incredible behind me. Sleep still clung to his features, but his eyes were a vibrant blue, full of potent heat and arousal. He started kissing me again, starting at my shoulder and working his way down my back, blazing a trail that ended just above the cleft along my bottom.
He used the hand on my hip to lift me. His warm breath danced along the back of my neck. “This is the kind of morning I’d love to repeat over and over. Actually, this moment, right here,” he said, and I felt him poised behind me a moment before he thrust deep into me.
My back bowed as I cried out. The feeling of him—it was more intense, fuller and tighter, stretching every nerve ending to the edge. But it was more than him just being inside me. There wasn’t so much as an inch between our bodies. His much larger body was curled around me, sealed to mine.
“You okay?” His voice was dark, gruff.
“I am,” I managed to breathe. “God, Tanner…”
He kissed my cheek and then his lips moved to my ear. “I’m going to need you to hold on, because I’m going to give it to you hard.”
I shuddered.
And then he did just what he said he was going to do.
Tanner moved fast and he hit deep, only slowing down to grind against me before picking his pace up. In this position, there was nothing I could do other than meet each of his thrusts and I did so happily, willingly. He was in control at this moment, and as I clenched the sheet, a riot of sensations lit me up.
“Oh God, Tanner,” I gasped, rocking back against him. “Yes, yes, yes.”
He made this sound, like a rumble of approval, and I felt it wash over me, through me. I was panting and he was making harsh noises. He got a hand under me, and then he started to touch me between my thighs as he slammed into me. The pleasure was so quick, it was sharp and near violent.
“Fuck,” he grunted against my neck.
Suddenly I was on my knees and my hands were pressed against the headboard. One of his arms was around my hips, holding me in place as he thrust forward, the other was beside my arm, his hand closed over mine on the headboard. In a daze, I opened my eyes and stared at our joined hands.
My breath caught and I lost a little of myself at the sight, and then I lost a larger part in the way he moved behind me. And I was completely gone as the room filled with sounds of our bodies meeting together, our moans and soft curses. There was no rhythm between us. What became of us was a wild dance. The tension spiraled tight, and I was tossed right over the edge. I threw my head back against his shoulder as my body clamped down. The most exquisite rush of pleasure poured into my body, stunning me with its intensity. It whipped through me, heightened by every powerful thrust. My arms came out, but he caught me, sealing me tight against his body as he came, only his hips jerking.
There wasn’t a single muscle in my body that worked in those precious moments of pure bliss. I was limp as a noodle, trembling as he guided me down and then left the bed to deal with the condom. I was where he’d left me when he came back to the bed and somehow we ended up face-to-face, his arm around me, his hand smoothing over my flushed cheek. I was completely sated. I hadn’t know
n it could be like this. I wanted to tell him that, but my tongue was too heavy.
Tanner tucked me against him. “I think…I think I now need a nap.”
A tired but light laugh escaped me. “Same here.”
“Then we have a plan.”
“We do?” I murmured.
“Yeah.” He kissed my forehead. “Since we don’t have shit to do and we can do whatever we want, we’re going to nap now.”
I smiled as I snuggled into him. “Sounds like the best kind of plan.”
Late in the afternoon, I stood in front of Tanner, a package of raw chicken in my hands. “I know I’m right.”
He arched a brow as he leaned against the counter. “I have never heard of such a thing.”
“I’m sure there are a lot of things you’ve never heard of.”
“No way,” he drawled lazily.
I rolled my eyes. “If you boil the chicken first, then it doesn’t take as long to grill it and then you always make sure it’s not undercooked.”
“I get what you’re saying, but it just seems repetitive.”
“But it’s not the same thing. You’re not cooking it completely,” I tried to explain for what felt like the hundredth time. “Forget it. Just let me do this.”
He grinned as he waved a hand, as if granting me permission. Choosing to ignore that, I set the package on the counter and then cranked the heat up on the pot of boiling water.
“At least it’s stopped raining,” he said, and when I turned around, he was staring out the glass doors. “I bet Kyler and Sydney are wishing they’d stayed here.”
“They’re probably all cuddled up in a tent, making little Syd babies.”
He smiled and then winked. My heart toppled over itself. “Kind of like what we’ve been doing all day?”
Heat flashed across my face.
“Except we fall into the category of doing practice runs,” he continued, his grin sly. “Though I’d love to see a little redheaded Andrea.”
Oh my word, my eyes widened. Did he really mean that? My tummy dropped in a pleasant way and my heart started to dance, but I turned around, catching the end of the package. There was no way he was being serious, and I was not going to allow myself to read into that comment. Nope. I was not going to let my brain do anything stupid.
Earlier, while Tanner was in the shower, and I’d gone into my head—those quiet moments…they hadn’t been so great. And while I’d showered, my thoughts went to familiar places filled with doubt, areas where overthinking ran rampant.
Sometimes…sometimes it felt like there were too many thoughts running around in my head, and that was one of those moments. I started to panic as I stood under the showerhead. Would Tanner regret last night and this morning? Did it mean anything to him? What would happen if I told him that I thought…that there was a good chance that I was in love with him? Did he really even know me?
The answer to that question was what scared me the most. I didn’t think that he did know me. At least not the “me” that existed when there were quiet moments, and that was a “me” I didn’t know how to deal with.
But it wasn’t just about Tanner. Those feelings of panic and uncertainty. Those feelings were never about just one thing. If they were, they’d probably be easier to deal with.
“Was that too honest?” he asked, and his voice was closer—real close.
I shivered as I continued to rip open the package of chicken and then picked up the tongs. “I just don’t think you…you really mean that.”
“Are you inside of my head?” His hands settled on my hips and I gave a little jump. “Do you know what I think?”
That question hit too close to home. So I took a moment and picked up the chicken with the tongs, plopping it down in the boiling water. “I don’t think I want to know what’s inside your head.”
“Uh-huh.” Tanner circled an arm around my waist and pressed into me. He kissed the side of my neck. “I think you’d like the things that go on inside my head.”
Despite my earlier thoughts, I smiled as I picked up the last piece of chicken. “Okay. Maybe.”
“Definitely,” he murmured, dropping a kiss against the sensitive space below my ear.
“Possibly.”
Tanner stepped back as I took the tongs over to the sink and washed them. When I turned around, he was staring into the pot with a look of disgust on his face. “This…this is gross-looking. All that white stuff floating to the top?”
I laughed as he shot me a look. “Don’t be a baby.”
“Will it get me spanked if I act like one?”
“Oh God.” I laughed again, shaking my head.
Grilling the chicken and then eating dinner pretty much consisted of us bickering and then Tanner making some kind of random, perverted statement that either made me giggle, blush, or both. There were no quiet moments, not for a while, not even when Syd and Kyler returned from their camping trip.
But those quiet moments surged back with a vengeance as we all sat in the basement’s media room.
Rain had started up again, shortly after Syd and Kyler had shown back up, and we were currently watching the boys engage in an impromptu air hockey death match once more. Kyler had a beer. Tanner had a beer. Even Sydney, who rarely drank, had one of those fruity beers.
I wanted a drink. Bad.
So much so that I sort of felt like banging my head against a wall, but I didn’t want Tanner to look at me like—actually, I wanted Tanner to look at me. That was the thing. Once our friends had shown back up, he hadn’t really looked at me or…or paid attention to me.
At first, I thought it was just me being stupid. No big surprise there. Sounded legit, because my history of being stupid was well-known. When Kyler and Syd returned, there was a lot of commotion, and they were hungry and wanted to talk about their trip while they ate our leftovers. I’d been nervous, unsure of how I should act, if I should just walk up to Tanner and grab his junk or something or wait to see what he did, so I didn’t do anything really. And when Syd had gone upstairs to shower, Kyler had monopolized Tanner’s time, and then when Syd had returned, my mother had called, and I ended up having to listen to how epically proud they were of Brody and how worried they were for me. By the time I got off the phone, I really, badly, needed a drink, but I resisted.
So Tanner and I obviously hadn’t had a lot of time to make googly eyes at one another or to expose our sudden, undying passion for each other, but as the evening eased into night, the indifference he’d started showing when Syd and Kyler returned continued.
Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. I wasn’t sure. But I’d thought that he would at least pay attention to me. Honestly, I think we’d exchanged a handful of words. There were no long looks of lust or stolen touches. When I’d gone upstairs to get a freaking soda, he hadn’t followed or anything.
So maybe he was treating me differently, because usually we did talk…or argue…or whatever, but now it seemed like he didn’t want….
I cut myself off before I could finish that thought.
I didn’t know what to make of any of it.
But my heart was pounding in a way that was so not pleasant and my stomach was twisted in knots as I watched Tanner strut around the side of the table, grinning as Kyler smack-talked him.
God, I really wanted a drink.
However I wasn’t sure if I could have just one drink. I mean, I thought I could, but the last thing I wanted was for anyone, especially Tanner, to comment on my drinking. Not that at the moment they truly had any room to talk since they all had drinks in their hands. It wasn’t fair. They could drink, but I couldn’t?
It was close to midnight when I finally called it a night. The air hockey game had ended and everyone was still chatting, but I was ready for the night to be over. Tomorrow held a lot more promise than what I was seeing now.
After saying goodnight, I headed for the stairs. Tanner did look up then, and my heart got all floppy when he grinned and said, “Goodnight, Andy.”
“‘Night,” I repeated, and then all but dashed up the flight of stairs and then to the top floor like a dork.
Goodnight, Andy.
Was that code for you’ll be seeing me later…or just telling me goodnight? Probably code. Definitely code. Should I have used a code that signaled I was okay with that? It didn’t matter. I took a ridiculously long time getting ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and then got the knots out of my curls. Then I washed my face and then engaged in some major wishful make-up—applied mascara and blush. For bed. Whatever. Then I slathered on the lotion that smelled of peaches. Searching for something sexy but didn’t look like I was trying too hard was more difficult than I imagined. I ended up settling on a pair of super cute sleep shorts and a cami.
I didn’t lock the bedroom door before I climbed into bed. Tanner would come—especially after yesterday and today, he would come. And we would talk, because we needed to be on the same page with what things truly meant. He said there were laters and that he wanted to see me once we left here, but that could mean anything—secret friends-withbenefits or an actual, real relationship.
My heart dropped with the thought of him wanting to be closet fuck buddies, and I wasn’t even going to pretend that I’d be okay with that. In all honesty, I wasn’t okay with the random hookups that only happened after I’d had a few drinks under my belt and wasn’t thinking right. In the darkness of the room, I could acknowledge that, even as hard as that was. And if Tanner wanted to be in a relationship, I needed to be honest with him and up front about some of the things he didn’t know about me. I guessed, in a way, he needed to make an informed decision.
Informed decision? I rolled my eyes. Wasn’t like he was voting for president or something.
I rolled onto my back and glanced at the clock. Tiny balls of ice filled my stomach when I realized an hour had passed since I’d walked into my bedroom. My gaze flicked to the bedroom door. Wasn’t he coming? Better yet, should I be okay with him sneaking into my bedroom even though he really didn’t pay much attention to me once our friends showed back up?
Then again, had I paid attention to him?