The zoo was awesome and definitely one of my favorite places. It just wasn’t ice. But I would still enjoy a party there. “I want to have my birthday party with Jessie’s birthday party! So we can celebrate together!”
It was cool to have our birthdays on the same day, but it also sucked if we couldn’t go to each other’s parties!
Mom seemed convinced. “Alright, if you’re sure.” I nodded hard. Missing out on a birthday at the rink wasn’t that big a deal. After all, I got to go to the rink every week already!
And celebrating with Jessie would be something new.
“I think it’s sweet,” dad said. “How you and Jessie want to do everything together.” I rolled my eyes. I didn’t see what was sweet about being best friends.
Mom nodded. “I can’t believe you’re nearly 13! Pretty soon you’re going to be all grown up. You and Jessie. Do you think you’ll want her to be your first girlfriend?”
“Eww, no!” I made a face. “Jessie’s my friend.” It wasn’t the first time someone had used the word ‘girlfriend’ in reference to Jessie. It was, however, the first time my mom had been the one to say that! There was obviously nothing wrong with Jessie and whatever, someone would date her, sure, but she was my best friend. Not a girlfriend!
“Besides,” I added. “If she was my first girlfriend, doesn’t that mean you’d expect us to break up?” Which would suck even more. “But no. Jessie’s my best friend. That’s important!” Certainly more important than a girlfriend!
Dad laughed, even though I didn’t see what was very funny about it. “Sure thing, kid,” he agreed. “Having a best friend is important!”
I smiled, only making a face when dad pressed a kiss against mom’s cheek. “We’re best friends, too,” he added. That made me frown. I knew my parents both had friends other than each other. But they did kind of act like best friends.
Best friends who looked after kids together, anyway.
“Don’t confuse him,” mom teased. “If Jessie’s being a best friend is more important than a girlfriend, that’s fine with me.”
It was hard not to be snarky about that. About how if it was fine with her... but I knew mom meant well. She liked Jessie and that was important. Mom liking Jessie meant that she would do her best to convince Jessie’s parents to let us have our birthday parties together!
“Okay, well, whatever. Tell me when Jessie’s mom says yes,” I informed them before leaving them to it. No point in me hanging out, certainly not for more conversations about how Jessie could be my girlfriend.
PRESENT DAY
We won our last game of the week away, which was good, but it had again been a close game. It meant that all of us were pretty tired on our way home. No clear victory meant working harder, training harder. None of us minded hard work, of course, but it would have been nice if it was slightly easier.
Getting home was something I was very much looking forward to. Coming back from away games, sleeping in my own bed, surrounded by my dogs, that always felt rewarding.
What I hadn’t quite expected was how much it hit me to come home to a house smelling like freshly cooked food, all the lights on. I was pretty sure it even smelled more homely than normal.
The dogs, all four of them, came bounding over, almost knocking me over competing to be petted first.
“Yes, yes, I missed you, too,” I laughed. Leaving my bag to one side, I walked through to the kitchen where Jessie was wearing an apron I didn’t even know I owned, balancing on her crutches and moving a bowl over from one counter to the other. It looked pretty advanced in comparison to how I’d left her a week ago!
“Hey, you!” I greeted her with a grin. “It smells amazing!” It really did. And the kitchen was warm in a way that just made me feel so at home.
Jessie grinned, her eyes lighting up as she turned her attention to me. “Oh, good, because it was definitely an experiment. I just sort of… threw things into the pan until it felt like enough, you know?”
I didn’t. My method of cooking was to stick to meats I was familiar with and just vary the spices and herbs I added. It was hard to go wrong that way.
As I moved closer, Jessie let me take the bowls from her through to the table, where we could eat. “How was your journey?” she asked. “And can you open that wine for me?”
“Of course.”
Walking over to get the bottle and a bottle opener, I gave a small shrug at her first question. “It was fine. Underwhelming, really.” That wasn’t untrue, but it did strike me how long it had been since anyone asked me how my trip had been. The dogs, while great to come home to, didn’t usually ask me anything.
Coming home to Jessie felt... better. Not better than coming home to the dogs, but perhaps a great deal better now that it was her and the dogs.
Getting glasses out for the wine, I set them down on the table. She’d laid out most of it already. It was pretty impressive considering that Jessie’s leg was still in a cast.
“What else can I do?” I asked, not wanting to get in the way or anything.
“You can sit down and enjoy dinner with me,” Jessie answered. I watched, just in case she needed anything, as she carefully maneuvered herself into the chair. The warm light from above made her hair glow around her face, her cheeks pink with pride that she’d accomplished dinner while her leg was still in plaster.
Taking my own seat, I glanced around the table. Nothing about it looked different, and yet there was something relaxing and casual about the atmosphere. Damson had even curled up in one corner, nose buried under his tail.
“Do you want to talk about your games?” Jessie asked. “Or decompress and not think about hockey?”
The questions made me laugh, but they were fair. I was always up for talking about hockey, but admittedly, there had already been plenty of conversations about the games with the team. The offer to not think about hockey felt refreshing.
Another thing to add to the list of things that felt different when coming home to Jessie. If it had been just me, I might even have rewatched the games, or at least some of them. I always had them recorded, of course.
But not thinking about hockey was pretty novel.
“I’m going to go with door two, please,” I told Jessie. “Tell me about what you and the dogs have been up to. How was the woman who came to help you out?” Of course, most things Jessie had already told me on the video calls but I didn’t mind hearing about them again if it came to that.
Jessie clicked her tongue against her teeth, shaking her head. “You shouldn’t assume it’s a woman just because it’s a caring role, Felix,” she chided. But she was holding back a wide smirk.
“He was great. That’s what inspired me to try cooking something, because he left so many different ingredients. Have you ever cooked with lemongrass?”
“Oh.”
The word fell from my lips before I could stop it. Sure, I shouldn’t assume, but... I kind of had. The idea that some guy had been coming to help Jessie out felt weird. There was a moment - that I thankfully managed to stop - when I almost asked her if he was good looking, like that mattered.
Except, it did matter to me if she thought this guy had been.
I managed to squash that thought down pretty quickly, too.
Lemongrass, right.
“I think I made a chicken that had lemongrass as one of the ingredients?” I answered, not actually thinking about it too much.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Jessie nodded. “We made a stir-fry. It was delicious.” She smiled across the table at me and I felt a frown forming on my face almost before I could stop it. I was supposed to be the one to make Jessie smile like that.
“Thank you for… you know, arranging to have someone come,” Jessie said, waving one hand around a little awkwardly. She never liked to take money from me, or things that I paid for which she wouldn’t be able to afford herself. “I’d never have thought of hiring someone to come cook. I’d just have lived on grocery store salads all week.”
“Yeah, I knew that,” I teased slightly. Before I left, I had thought about cooking enough meals for Jessie to have food all week, but... hiring someone who was better at cooking than me had seemed like a better plan. Of course, now that I knew it was a guy, I was rethinking that a little.
But that was also stupid. I knew I was overreacting. Thankfully, it was only in my head. If I said any of it out loud, Jessie would point out how dumb I was being.
“Anyway, you’re very welcome. You looked after the dogs and the house while I was gone, it’s a fair exchange,” I argued.
Jessie snorted, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head. “Yeah, because the house needed so much looking after. I did look after the dogs, though,” she agreed. “I had to give Jace a bath. He rolled in something awful on one of his walks. And then, when I’d finished, Pammy sat in the bath looking up at me with such sad eyes that I had to give her a bath, too!”
That startled an unexpected laugh from me. I could so well imagine the look that Pammy would have given Jessie. “She is a big fan of baths,” I hummed. I had a wet room especially for the dogs, with a dog bath because if you had the money why not, right?
“It wasn’t too hard? With the leg?” I asked. “I mean, if you’re starting to get into dog grooming, there’s still hope for you.” I followed up the joke with a wink, just to make super sure that Jessie knew I was teasing.
She looked up from her plate, the dimples in her cheeks showing that she was holding back a smile. “I had the cover over the cast,” she answered. “So I figured I might as well give Pammy a bath before I took it off again. I’m just glad the others didn’t try to join in. Four dogs in one day is too many!”
Even I tried to space out the dogs’ baths, when possible, so I nodded. “I don’t think I make much of a dog groomer yet, but if I stay here until Christmas, maybe I will.”
“And for Christmas,” I reminded her. “But I won’t make you bathe any dogs on Christmas day, with or without a cast on.” Hopefully, by Christmas, Jessie would be out of her cast and things would be starting to get back to normal.
The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth all of a sudden. The idea of ‘back to normal’ meant that Jessie wouldn’t be here any longer and that... wasn’t a very pleasing idea.
Thankfully, I hardly needed to think about it. It was still ages away until Christmas. For now, I could easily focus on enjoying Jessie’s company.
Chapter Eight
Jessie
Despite me telling Felix that he didn’t need to be out of the house for Dana to come to visit, he’d chosen to take the dogs to the park. It wasn’t until after she arrived that I realized it might be a good thing. I was used to Felix’s dogs, but other people sometimes found four enthusiastic border collies to be kind of overwhelming.
As soon as I opened the door and Dana saw me, she gave a sympathetic wince. It was the first time we’d been together in person since my accident. She was obviously thinking about how difficult it must be for me to have one leg entirely out of action.
It was something that I tried not to think about. Yes, it sucked that I couldn’t walk unaided, couldn’t stretch or move in any of the ways I was used to. I missed dancing so strongly that it was hard to put into words.
Dancing had always been when I’d felt most in touch with myself. To suddenly live without it was like having to stop talking.
“Hey,” I greeted, swinging myself around so I could lead Dana into Felix’s living room. “I never asked: how do you feel about dogs? They’re all out right now, so we don’t have to worry until Felix comes back.”
Unless Dana hated dogs, in which case I’d ask Felix to stay out a little longer.
“Oh, I don’t mind dogs,” Dana assured me but I could tell she was distracted by looking around. She had seen my place before, but this was very different. I lived in an apartment with other people, Felix had a huge house to himself. Well, to himself and the dogs.
It was hard to fault Dana’s curiosity. How often did you really get a chance to see what an NHL player’s house looked like from the inside?
“It’s nice!” she announced finally. “It’s nicer than I would expect, actually. He lives on his own, doesn’t he? It’s much more homey than the way most of the guys I know keep their places. Tidier, too,” she laughed.
“Well, I have been here for two weeks,” I pointed out, shaking my head slightly. I was only teasing. With my leg in plaster, moving anything that didn’t absolutely need moving was pretty much out of the question. I could balance one or two things while I hopped about on crutches, but anything beyond that would be too tiring.
Glancing around, I could almost imagine I was seeing Felix’s house with fresh eyes. “I think he keeps things out of the way because of the dogs,” I admitted. “He doesn’t like confining them to any one room, so everywhere has to be safe for them.”
The hominess, though, that was just the way Felix was. His house had felt like home to me from the beginning. Perhaps because I’d helped to choose it.
“I don’t know what I’d have done if I couldn’t live here,” I admitted. “My mom’s place is pretty small, and my sister only has a room in a shared house.”
We walked through to the kitchen, so I could offer Dana something to drink. Somewhat thankfully, she insisted on doing it instead for as long as I instructed her where things were.
“You could have stayed with me,” she commented. “It’s not as spacious as it is here, I will admit, but my place isn’t particularly small either.” It was a nice offer but it also struck me that that really wasn’t what I wanted. Staying with Felix was... interesting.
Yeah, I hated being a burden but Felix was very good at making sure that wasn’t how it felt. Whether I would be able to be as okay with it at Dana’s, it was hard to guess. Thankfully, Felix was unlikely to kick me out.
Setting the cups up for us to have tea, Dana took a seat across from me. “So how are you doing? Are you... angry at me? For taking your spot at the winter show?”
My spoon clinked against the side of my cup as I dropped it in astonishment. “No,” I answered instantly. “Of course I’m not! They had to give my spot to somebody.”
Honestly, it hadn’t even crossed my mind to feel angry. At Dana or anyone else. “I feel sad,” I said, shrugging slightly. “And I feel restless and impatient. But not at you. Or at anyone in particular.” Just at the situation.
“If anything, I blame myself for slipping.”
Dana gave a small hum and I kind of appreciated that she didn’t rush in to tell me that it hadn’t been my fault. As dancers, we were meant to be in control of our bodies, I knew that she, of all people, would understand.
“It is unfortunate,” Dana agreed and I almost laughed at what an understatement that was. She seemed to sense it, too, giving me a grin. “Well, it is. We miss having you around. I miss having you around. I know you’re still in the group chat and we call, but it’s not the same.”
She gave a dramatic sigh that also made me laugh. “You’ll be back soon, though,” she promised me. “I bet it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s already been two weeks!”
Two weeks didn’t feel like very much time. Not when there were at least four more weeks to go, if not more. And even then, it would take some time before I was up to my pre-injury standard.
“The doctors say that it’ll heal fine,” I said. It was much easier to focus on that and be grateful that it hadn’t been a more complicated break. “And I’ll start physio soon. I’m looking forward to that.” At least I would be doing something, that was bound to make me feel better.
But talking about my leg wasn’t making it heal any faster. “Tell me about you,” I insisted. “Are you getting on alright with Edwina?”
“Oh, yeah.” Dana nodded. “I mean, she’s working us hard, but then, when isn’t she?” That made us both grin. Edwina was good, there was no denying that but she was strict. Still, I missed even that. Dancing under Edwina’s orders always fe
lt good, I knew she’d push me to be my best.
Not being able to dance really sucked.
Dana must have sensed my thoughts because she reached across the table to give my hand a small squeeze. “You’ll be dancing again before you know it,” she promised before leaning back.
“Anyway, let me distract you from dancing by telling you about my... well, I guess it’s not boyfriend drama. More like... friend drama?”
Dana was right; that did distract me! “Oh, yes, I was going to ask you about that next,” I said, leaning forward. Ever since Felix had asked me which of my friends Dana was, it had been on my mind to check in with her.
“So it’s drama?” I asked. “Being friends with Matt hasn’t gotten any easier?”
“Well, maybe calling it drama is a bit of an exaggeration,” she admitted. I tried not to feel disappointed at that. I, of course, didn’t want things to be difficult for Dana, but having been trapped at home did make me kind of wish there was some sort of entertainment.
Luckily, I managed to keep those particular thoughts to myself.
“I guess things just haven’t gotten much easier? I like Matt a lot, I love spending time with him but... I still don’t know if I can do this friends thing? It’s so hard not to just kiss him when we meet up for dinner or whatever and that’s definitely not an okay friends thing to do.”
I shifted slightly on my stool at Felix’s kitchen counter. Honestly, Dana’s words hit uncomfortably close to home. It wasn’t that I wanted to kiss Felix when we met up for dinner, exactly. But I did find myself wanting to do things that really ought to be done by a girlfriend.
Sometimes, I started fixing his hair or straightening his tie before I even realized what I was doing. And other times, I had to consciously hold myself back from wrapping him in a hug when he’d had a hard day.
Not to mention keeping my eyes to myself when he stripped off his shirt!
Friend Locked (Salt Lake Pumas) Page 7