“The goat.” He nods. “Of course, he is. He’s also dead, I’m assuming.”
“That’s because you’re a good detective,” I say. “Carlotta, get dressed or get a free ride to the pokey.”
She struggles to get her sweater on as quickly as possible.
“Hot flash just finished, and now it feels like the dead of winter,” she shivers the words out. “I’m telling you there’s no in-between. It’s hellfire or Arctic tundra. Just you wait, Lottie Dottie, until you hit the big ol’ men-o-pause.” She smacks her lips my way. “Who are we kidding? You’re not pausing a thing with the men anytime soon.”
Nell chortles as if she couldn’t get enough. “Oh, my sweet Carlotta, how I’ve missed your sense of humor.” She heads over and links arms with a now sweater-clad Carlotta and they begin to chitchat.
But I don’t stick around to play fashion police or supernatural police with Carlotta. I figure with Nell around she’s in good hands, even if they are invisible to all those in the room.
Instead, I squeeze my way past a man in a dark blue flannel that reeks of cheap whiskey as I get in close to Analise.
Noah orders a beer from the bar and I do the same. I get the feeling it’s a requirement if you’re going to stand here like a cinder block. I bump my shoulder to Analise just to get the party started.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I say as I glance over, making sure I didn’t spill the fruity concoction she’s nursing over her plastic accouterment.
She waves it off before lifting her drink to her lips, but doesn’t give me the time of day otherwise.
I lean over to Noah’s ear. “Hit on her.”
“What?” He winces. “Lottie, I was the one that questioned her.”
I think on it for a moment. Truthfully, I’m just now realizing Noah might be more of a liability than a helper.
“Well, now you have to hit on her or it’ll be weird if she sees you. She might think you’re closing in on her or something.”
His evergreen eyes narrow over mine. “Fine.”
We quickly swap places.
“Analise?” he says with a hint of surprise in his voice. It’s nice to know if this homicide detective gig doesn’t work out he can always head into acting.
She turns his way and does a double take before shedding a carnal grin, her lids hanging seductively low.
“Why, if it isn’t Detective Frowns a Lot. How about I buy you a drink and turn that frown upside down? I can make a lot of things rise up, if you know what I mean.”
GAH! Abort! Abort!
I make crazy eyes at Noah, but he conveniently doesn’t seem to notice.
A mean growl works its way up my belly and Noah gives my thigh a discreet tap, as if to assure there’s no reason for me to morph into a raging yeti just yet.
The bartender passes Noah and me our beers.
“Beat you to it,” he toasts her with his bottle before taking a sip. “So how are you holding up? That was a rough scene.”
She giggles and bats her lashes. “Better now that you’re with me.”
Gag me. Better yet, gag her.
Noah’s chest expands as he leans her way. “So you’re back on the market I take it.”
Hey? What does that have to do with the murder investigation?
She gives a curt nod. “That’s right, big boy. Now that I’m free of Old Stuffy Pants, I’m ready to make some midnight magic happen with someone else, tonight if you’re willing.” She runs a finger down his cheek before poking it into one of his dimples.
Every last part of me wants to tell her to back the heck off, but Noah gives my thigh another quick squeeze as if to stave off the coming onslaught.
Noah leans her way. “So he’s out of the picture. At least he’s still taking care of you. I mean, a pretty girl like yourself can’t be expected to punch a time card.”
A dull huff expels from her. “He put my name on three different properties and a boat on Honey Lake—the True Princess. But his lawyers informed me some of his exes are already gunning for what’s rightfully mine. If I’d have known that, things might have been different.”
My mouth falls open as I lean back, struggling to listen in. The sound of a goat braying fills my ears, and I can only catch every other word of what she and Noah are saying.
“Bruiser,” I hiss as I look around. “Wherever you are, keep it down a notch. I can’t hear a thing.”
A moan and a scream evict from the tiny celestial creature as he materializes before me.
“She’s done it, hasn’t she, Lottie? She never loved my Norman. Look at the way she’s holding the deteeective.”
“She’s holding the detective?” I turn around to find her arms wrapped around his waist, her lips angling for his kisser. “All right,” I say, plucking them apart. “Time to break up the party.” I take Noah by the hand and lead him straight for the dance floor, toward the back where there’s no choreographed peer pressure to submit to, and we end up pressing our bodies close as we slowly move to the funky beat instead.
Noah’s chest bounces with a laugh. “Do I sense a twinge of jealousy?”
“Just a twinge.” I frown over at him. “So what did she say?”
“She pointed me to a man by the name of Jenson Pauper.”
“The stepson?”
“Her ex.”
I suck in a quick breath. “I see the connection now. He could have killed Norman in a fit of rage for stealing Analise away from him. I think you just buttoned up this murder investigation nicely, Detective.”
“That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”
Nell pops up, and soon she’s swaying to the music right along with us.
“So nice to see you, Noah.” She sheds a peaceable smile his way.
“Nell, I wish I could see you, too, but nevertheless it’s a pleasure.”
Nell nods my way as if to say she’s got this, and I’m not entirely sure what that means.
“Noah, might I ask how you think things are going on the romantic front with my granddaughter?”
Noah offers me an amused smile. “Both well and disastrous. Well because I’m more in love with her than ever. Disastrous because I insist she explores her feelings for Everett. He encouraged us to do the same, and I think it’s only fair for me to return the favor. I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level, and to do that, I think there are still a few kinks to work out.”
Nell glances my way. “I agree. Wise words from a wise man. Lottie, it’s time to work out more than a few kinks.”
I glance back to the bar and moan. “Excuse me,” I say to both of them. “It looks as if there’s a kink in the armor that none of us need.” I speed my way over and pluck Everett back from the sultry ex of a newly murdered billionaire.
“Hey!” Analise growls my way. “You can’t have them all, lady.”
“Sorry, but this one isn’t on the market either.”
Everett dots a kiss to my cheek. “Lemon.”
Analise’s disgust quickly morphs into a look of awe.
“Oh, honey.” She shakes her head my way. “Whatever you’re doing, you oughta teach lessons.” She leans in. “And I’ll be the first to sign up.”
I take a step her way. “I might be willing to offer up a few suggestions. But then, you did land Norman Pemberley. I think you can give a few pointers yourself. Any word on what happened?” Noah said she’s pointing the finger at Jenson, but I want to hear it out of the horny horse’s mouth myself.
Bruiser pops up with his luminescent glowing eyes and his tiny curious face that makes me want to coo out loud. I’ve never wanted to snuggle up with a dearly departed creature more than I do with Bruiser. He’s so darn cute he’s downright delicious. I did a little research last night and I’m pretty sure he’s a Pygmy goat, and a baby at that.
Analise gives a quick look around. “Who knows.” She nervously glances toward the exit. “That man had a lot of enemies. Like say, his stepson.” She shrugs up at me, and I’m beginning to think she’s thr
owing Jenson under the familial bus as a means to deflect.
“Did he have any mob ties?” I lean my ear her way and watch as she struggles to catch her breath. “Or maybe I should rephrase that. Did you have any mob ties?”
Her eyes widen a notch. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” She bolts out the door, and just like that, I think I have my answer.
Everett wraps his arms around me, and I twirl around until I’m facing this fiercely gorgeous creature. I can’t blame Analise for trying to get his attention. Every woman in this room has her attention pinned his way.
“Lemon.” His lips twitch another notch, and soon I’m slow dancing in Everett Baxter’s arms.
Maybe Noah and Nell are right. Maybe it is time to work out a few kinks with the good judge.
But before I get to ironing out my past, I need to pull my bestie out of this murderous mess in the present.
My indecision might have to wait, but I don’t see what one more dance can hurt. Everett and I order up a couple of house drinks and we do just that.
Chapter 7
It turns out, strange dreams can take over your mind after you’ve downed about a half a pint of Midnight Moonshine’s signature drink that shares its same dark moniker.
In a rather feverish nocturnal wandering, I found myself in the middle of Honey Hollow Covenant Church, walking down the aisle in that blush pink dress both Keelie and Analise were battling it out over. And at the foot of the altar stood two men gleaming with pride. Both men were so vexingly handsome, my heart nearly leaped right out of my chest. Everett and Noah stood at attention, each in a dark suit, slick black ties, the same warm look in their eyes. Nell stood at one side of them and my father, Joseph Lemon, at the other. The two of them glowed like the otherworldly beings they are, watching me with approving smiles.
The next thing I knew, I was in a dark room, nothing but a wash of moonlight streaming over the bed, just enough silver light to expose the fact Noah and Everett were there with me. It was a tangle of legs and arms, of heady kisses. And then I woke up with a start, sitting straight up in bed, wondering how I could possibly avoid that very situation even if it did all seem a bit inevitable to me.
It’s Saturday morning. I called Margo from the Honey Pot last night and asked if she’d open for me. My phone lets me know it’s well after nine and I feel like a sloth for sleeping in so late. It might not be late by an average person’s standards, but when you’re used to waking up at four to get to the bakery by four-thirty, it’s the equivalent of oversleeping by two days straight. I shower and put on my fuzzy pink robe before heading out of my bedroom, only to find both Noah and Everett hunched over a laptop at my dining room table. Next to them sits a stack of pancakes that looks a bit misshapen but tempting nevertheless. It’s not unusual to see either of those men at my place, seeing that Everett lives next door and Noah lives across the street.
Carlotta bounces out of the kitchen wearing my old fuzzy pink robe, and I don’t mind one bit that we’re twinning.
“Well, lookie who’s awake.” She lifts the coffee pot my way before landing it on the table. “The little princess finally decided to roll out of bed.”
Both Everett and Noah stand and wish me a good morning. And my sweet cats, Pancake and Waffles, a pair of Himalayan brothers, trot my way and I give them each a quick scratch on the back. I spot Noah’s golden retriever, Toby, curled up in a ball by the fireplace and he’s contently snoring away.
“What’s going on?” I ask as they take a seat once again and I spot several ads for boats on the screen behind them.
Noah pulls his coffee mug close. “I think Everett’s close to making what will be the most regrettable decision of his life.”
Carlotta clucks her tongue. “Watch what you call my Lot Lot.” She cocks her head to the side. “Wait just a darn minute. I called her regrettable once myself.”
Before I can swat her, or pinch her so tight she spits out a lung, Mayor Nash ambles into the room wearing yet another one of my old fuzzy pink robes and a pair of black socks to go with it. Judging by his bare legs and bare arms, there’s not another article of clothing to report on.
“Ha ha!” He belts out a jolly chuckle. “Happy Saturday! What’s everyone got planned for this beautiful summer day?”
Judging by that spring in his step, I’m guessing Carlotta made sure he got lucky last night. Mayor Nash, aka my bio daddy, and Carlotta have been on-again, off-again since my conception, and I’m starting to get the feeling this is a lifelong pattern I’m seeing play out.
Evie pops into the room carrying another stack of pancakes wobbling on the platter in her hands.
“Dad’s getting me a boat.” She flashes those pearly whites my way. With no makeup and her hair in a bun, she looks all of twelve and I love it. “We’re negotiating the details, but I’ve got him to agree to two staterooms and a hot tub on deck. It’s going to be totally awesome. And by the way, Kyle let me know he’s an experienced boater. His mother’s last husband used to have a speedboat that he dragged around the lake all the time.”
Everett grunts, “I’ve got news for you. Kyle isn’t dragging our new boat anywhere.”
“Speaking of Kyle,” I trot her way, “what were you thinking having two boys here alone with you last night?”
That’s exactly the scene we stumbled upon when Everett walked me through the door to say goodnight. Evie was seated in the middle of the couch, and both Conner and Kyle were flanking her like a couple of testosterone-laden bookends. Each boy had one of my sweet cats in his hands and, believe me when I say, that was the only saving grace from having me chase them out with a baseball bat. Evie has been “dating” both Conner and Kyle for a few months now. And it’s become apparent that no matter how hard Everett and I try, she’s not dumping either of them. “That’s not safe, Evie. And Honey Hollow is a small town. People are bound to talk. Believe me, you don’t want a reputation on your hands.”
“Listen to your mama,” Carlotta says, snatching a fresh pancake off the platter. “She should know. This town has been talking about her for years.”
“Two boys?” Mayor Nash lifts a brow at Evie as he grabs a fistful of pancakes himself. “It looks as if you’ve got a bit of your mother in you after all.” He ticks his head my way.
“That’s right.” Evie sits right across from Everett and smirks. “Everyone knows two is better than one. And guess what? Kyle wants to go to law school and Conner wants to work for the sheriff’s department. Just like Dad and Uncle Noah.” She tilts her head my way. “I can see the draw, Mom.”
“Ignore the draw,” I’m quick to tell her. “You don’t need two boyfriends, let alone one. You’re only fifteen.” A thought comes to me. “Say, when is your birthday? I think we have some sweet sixteen planning to do this year. I can make a mean unicorn cake.”
Carlotta slaps her hands. “I’ll get the strippers.”
I shoot her a look.
Evie shrugs. “September twenty-eighth. And why would anyone have a party for me?”
My mouth falls open. “Evie, have you ever had a birthday party before?”
Cressida Bentley was so negligent with her, I doubt poor Evie had a single normal childhood occurrence.
“Nope.” Evie shrugs as if she were indifferent, but I can tell by that hurt look on her face she’s felt the absence of that celebration each and every year. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve attended enough birthday parties to know I don’t want to be embarrassed that way.”
“Evie.” Everett closes his eyes a moment and you can see the soul-soaked anguish on his face. “I promise, you will be celebrated for the rest of your life. You’re a gift to this world. You’re our gift. And I want you to know how precious you are.”
“My heart,” I whimper. “I can hardly breathe at how beautiful that was.”
Noah nods. “He’s right, Evie. You deserve the best, and we’re going to make sure you get it.”
Tears swell up in my eyes at Noah’s equally sweet proclamation.
My chest indulges in a hiccup. “I’m going to throw you the best sweet sixteen that Honey Hollow has ever seen.”
“Save it.” She averts her eyes. “All I want is a boat to horse around on, and summer is quickly fleeting. So when are we picking it up, Pops?” She bounces over and pokes her head at the screen.
Everett takes a deep breath. “I’m checking out a few later this afternoon.” He turns my way. “There’s one called The Lucky Lemon. I’m thinking it’s fate.”
Noah shakes his head. “More like a cheeky warning. It’s old and used, and it’s been in a wreck. I’d reconsider.”
Carlotta chuckles. “Hear that, Lottie? Your resale value ain’t looking so hot.”
“You’re not funny,” I say.
Everett scowls at Noah. “And you’re looking at the wrong boat.”
We indulge in a delicious breakfast and I compliment Evie on a job well done with the pancakes before I pull out my own laptop and do a quick search on Norman Pemberley.
Billionaire, philanthropist, made a majority of his money in oil but dabbled in antiques and fine art. Married six times, has one child, Dolce Pemberley, a socialite among Fallbrook high society. From the looks of it, he owns an entire catalog of real-estate holdings ranging from apartment buildings to strip malls, to fancy homes in just about every state.
There’s nothing here out of the ordinary. I guess whoever killed him could have been after his money, but wouldn’t it be easier to steal from him or blackmail him?
Why resort to murder? Unless, of course, they were caught stealing… Then it’s a crime of passion.
Didn’t Debbie hint that Jenson was seeing Analise first? And there’s the mob. Maybe it’s time to pay Luke Lazzari a quick visit? I bet he’d know what his nephew was up to.
“Boo.” A quiet whisper vibrates through my ear and I jump, only to find Nell standing by my side. Her gray hair shines with lavender stars and her eyes twinkle with a bit of mischief. “I just had about a dozen of those adorable cake pops Keelie is going to have at her wedding instead of a traditional cake. So very delicious. And so many flavors! Why, we were too steeped in tradition to see straight in my day. I’m glad the younger generation is more apt to think outside of the box.” She nods to where Everett, Noah, and now Mayor Nash are all busy investigating boats for sale. “They do say variety is the spice of life. I don’t need to ask if you agree, now do I?”
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