by Kaye Blue
Ezekiel looked from me to Lake and then left the kitchen without a word.
“What else should I say?” she asked after a pause, her words measured, careful.
“You’re not asking where? Why?”
“Would you tell me those things?” she asked, her voice rising ever so slightly.
“No.”
“Which is why I didn’t ask,” she said, looking triumphant.
“If there’s anything you want to take, you’d better get it together. We leave in thirty minutes,” I responded, ignoring her reaction.
I walked out of the kitchen without looking back.
Three
Lake
We loaded into an SUV, and though it was dark, I looked at the house as best I could.
The grounds were beautiful even in the dark, and I could see that the house had a grand facade, one I could have imagined in a magazine.
It was funny how much things changed.
At first, it had been a place of terror, but I had found something there that, as crazy as it was, I treasured.
I didn’t know if I would ever see the house again, doubted that I would.
But I would miss it.
As Aras drove away, I heard a low boom then saw a spark.
It was almost instantaneous, the house, the manicured lawn, going up in flames.
I glanced at Aras, who didn’t seem even marginally surprised.
In fact, he didn’t even look back.
“People know where the place is now. Can’t afford to leave any evidence behind,” he said so nonchalantly, like it was nothing, but I knew it wasn’t.
“That was your home.”
He shrugged, lifted one corner of his mouth in the most humorless smile I had ever seen.
“I know better than to get too comfortable anywhere,” he said.
And then he went silent.
It was sad that I would miss the place more than he would… I shook my head, knew that wasn’t true.
Aras might pretend otherwise, but I knew he’d loved that place. He never said anything, probably would have denied it if I’d pushed, but I’d seen how much the place meant to him in the way he cared for it, sensed the pride that he didn’t acknowledge but that was there all the same.
I stayed silent as we drove, watching the scenery pass.
Based on the clock in the console, we drove for over three hours until Aras turned off the highway and went down a dirt road.
It wasn’t exactly a neighborhood. The houses were very spaced apart and most seemed to be unoccupied.
“This is a seasonal place. Most of the houses are empty until summer,” he said by way of explanation.
Still, though he had given me that information, I could sense his distance.
Hated it.
But especially that I was the cause.
He parked.
“Wait here,” he said quickly before he got out of the car.
I kept my eyes on him as he circled the vehicle then disappeared behind the house.
When he was out of sight, the nerves that had briefly calmed sparked back into action.
I knew that I was reacting simply because I missed him, had gotten used to his presence.
Really only felt safe when he was around.
But I swatted down those nerves, determined to be strong, and waited.
A few minutes later he returned, came to the passenger side of the SUV, and opened the door.
“You can get out,” he said.
I did, climbing out of the SUV with the small bag I’d packed held tight.
There wasn’t much in it, a few changes of clothes, a book I wanted to finish, but I held it like it was a lifeline.
At the very least, it reminded me of when things between us hadn’t been so fraught.
It hadn’t even been a whole day, but it felt like everything had changed yet again.
There was nothing I could do about it now, so I pushed those thoughts aside and followed Aras, surveying the living room as we entered.
The place looked expensive, had the shabby-chic decor that I knew cost a pretty penny to create.
“The fridge is stocked if you want food.”
“I’m fine, but I can make something for you,” I whispered.
“Not necessary,” he said, shaking his head quickly.
He went to step away, and on instinct, I reached for him, entangled my fingers with his, knowing I was crossing a line, not caring if I did.
“Aras…”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice even, his eyes not quite meeting mine.
“About earlier—”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Lake.”
I wanted to leave it at that, but the hurt I thought I saw in his eyes, hurt I could have just as easily imagined, wouldn’t let me.
“Aras—”
He cut me off again. “Your room is here,” he said, gesturing toward a door at the end of the hallway.
“Where will you be?” I whispered, shamed by the hurt I heard my own voice.
“There,” he said, pointing at the door opposite mine.
“Fine.”
I went to the room, unable to enjoy how nice it looked, not with my heart twisting like it was.
I showered, put on pajamas, and lay in bed determined to sleep.
Which should have been easy.
After all the excitement of the day, I would have thought sleep would come with no trouble, but it didn’t.
I lay there for what felt like hours, probably was hours, each moment thinking of Aras, the hurt I had seen in his face, fighting with my own emotions.
I didn’t understand them, didn’t have words for them, couldn’t really say anything for certain except that Aras mattered to me.
Mattered more than I wanted to admit, more than was reasonable or sane.
I didn’t know anything, but I knew that.
Just as I knew I needed to tell him so.
Nerves bit at me, but I ignored them, threw off the covers, and walked toward the door.
I opened it as quietly as I could, then stared at the door across the hall, wondering if I had the guts to do what I needed to.
Decided I wouldn’t waste time trying to figure it out and instead approached the door.
I didn’t bother to knock and was happy when I found it unlocked.
I pushed the door open, and at the same time Aras sat up, the covers falling away form his bare chest.
He hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were clear, save the confusion there.
The worry.
“Lake, are you ok—”
I didn’t let him finish.
I crossed the carpeted floor and clasped his head.
Stared into his eyes.
I didn’t eye break contact as I straddled him, settling my core over his burgeoning erection.
Things between us could be confused, fraught, but this, the connection, the pull that had been there since the first, would carry us.
I nuzzled his neck, letting my lips linger at his pulse point, the strong, steady throb of his heartbeat making me feel that much closer to him, that much more alive.
He didn’t move, not at first, but when I brushed my lips against his neck, he gripped my hips and moved his hands in big, slow circles, intensifying the feelings that were always there.
I had a similar effect on him.
His rod was steel underneath me, and I rocked, which made him tighten his grip.
As I kissed his neck, I let my hands trail down his chest and into his waistband.
I closed my fingers around his shaft, stroked him once, twice, but then became impatient.
I released my hold and began pushing his pants down.
Understanding what I wanted, he lifted his hips, allowing me to push the pants off.
I did the same for my own and then resettled above him, his hardness against my opening, one slight movement all it would take to bring us together.
I stayed there for a moment, enjoying that feeling, Aras’s hard b
ody underneath me, his heart beating against his chest through to mine.
And when I kissed his neck again, he took over.
He locked an arm around my waist and lifted me, held me aloft, waiting.
My eyes had drifted closed, but I opened them, met his, saw what he wanted.
Without breaking his gaze, I reached between our bodies and gripped his shaft at the base, lined him up against my opening, and then slowly lowered myself over him.
When he was fully inside me, we both exhaled, our breaths mingling.
I lay my forehead against his, my eyes half lidded, and then I began to move.
He was deep, so deep inside me.
I had never felt anything like it, the fullness, the stretch, his body marking mine, wiping away any memory of anyone who had come before, making it impossible for me to imagine that there would be anyone after.
There was only him.
Only this.
At that thought, my pussy clenched, sending shockwaves through my body.
He let out a moan then tightened his grip on my waist, thrusting up into me from below as I ground my hips down on him.
We were a sea of breath, motion, feelings that we wouldn’t speak but that were real nonetheless.
When I reached between our bodies, he brushed my hand away then used his fingers to tease my clit.
The sensation was intense, his hard shaft stroking me with each motion, his thumb and fingers teasing me to the brink of madness.
I stilled above him, trying to hold off the orgasm but unable.
“Let go,” he whispered, his hand tight on my hip.
I could do nothing but comply, let the wave of pleasure that I had been holding back burst through me.
And he held me throughout, my port in the storm, the thing I could rely on.
I wanted to be there for him, didn’t know that I could, but knew that I would try with all I had.
So when he stiffened, his cock throbbing, I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, crushed him against my chest, and held him as he emptied himself inside me.
Four
Lake
When I woke the next morning, Aras was still with me, and I was relieved.
No, that was an understatement.
What I felt was beyond relief, beyond words that I could think of.
I had hurt him yesterday, and there was no way to pretend otherwise.
But he hadn’t left, and that meant something.
His back was to me, and I wanted to throw my arms around him, curl my body into his, but I was happy with just being here with him.
Tried to think of the last time I had felt that way, content, and knew it had been years, even before Vlad.
Then, I had been so focused on achievement, getting ahead, that restlessness had been my constant companion.
After spoke for itself.
But in this moment, despite everything that was swirling around me, despite who he was, I couldn’t think of anything that was better than this.
“What a beautiful sight to see first thing in the morning,” he whispered.
I had let my eyes drift closed but opened them and met his.
His expression was almost stony, but his eyes had a softness that was both uncharacteristic and so very perfect.
To think that I’d had a part in putting that look in his eyes gave me a warmth, happiness, that only made my contentment that much more intense.
“Not so bad yourself,” I said, adding a smile to the end.
“Thanks.”
He went silent then, and we lay there, staring at each other.
I was almost overcome with the need to kiss him, but I held back.
Logically, it was silly.
Aras had seen me, fucked me more times than I could count, but to kiss him now…
It felt like more.
Felt like the emotions I tried to ignore, ones I still tried to fight against, were taking hold, becoming more real.
And I wasn’t brave enough to risk that.
Much as I might wish otherwise, my position was still precarious.
Much as I might care about Aras, love him, even trust him, as crazy as that seemed, opening myself more to him was something I didn’t dare.
And somehow I knew if I kissed him now, those feelings that were mine and mine alone would be apparent.
I would try to hide it, but he would still know. And I didn’t want to confront what that would mean, and more importantly, what it wouldn’t change.
But I couldn’t resist the urge to touch him, so I let my fingers graze down his perfect chest, his skin warm, smooth under my fingers.
“Do you have somewhere to be?” I asked.
“Nope,” was his response.
I smiled by way of answer and moved closer, kissing his collarbone, and then straddling him when he lay back.
I settled over his cock, sandwiching his hard length between my lower lips.
I was impossibly wet for him, my engorged clit throbbing in time with my heartbeat, my skin feeling tight, tingly with my need for him.
Aras rested his hands on my hips but didn’t do anything else, content, it seemed, to let me take the lead. I could see his desire in the pulse of his heartbeat, feel it in his tense body, and again marveled at his strength, his discipline.
So much in my life was dark, confused, but there was one unshakable point of clarity.
I wanted Aras, craved him like no other.
And even though I knew he might be my ruin, I loved him all the same.
I’d never say that, would do everything in my power to make sure he never knew, but him not knowing didn’t change the truth of it, and these moments, in the quiet of my head and heart as I shared my body with him, were ones I would always treasure.
My heart was full to the point of bursting, which pushed my passion higher, my need deeper, but I didn’t give in to that feeling, wouldn’t allow myself to rush.
Instead, I ground my hips in rhythm, sliding my sex up and down the length of his shaft. The delicious sensation only hinted at the pleasure I would feel later, but I still didn’t rush.
I was enjoying this too much, wanted to savor it, savor him, for as long as I could.
“It’s not nice to tease, Lake,” Aras whispered, the tightness in his jaw giving away his tension.
“I disagree,” I said, slowing my motion so that I was barely moving, the skin-to-skin contact both amazing and torture.
Smiling, I stared down at him, wondering at this part of myself.
I’d always been on the shy side in bed, wasn’t one for teasing and games. Of course, I’d never been with anyone quite as sexy as Aras, but the change had more to do with me.
Before, I’d been afraid, tentative, more concerned with not stepping on any toes than living to the fullest. It was a mistake I wouldn’t ever make again.
If I wanted something, I was going to go after it.
And right now, I wanted Aras.
My pussy was so wet, my juices had coated Aras’s cock and his thighs, and when I reached between our bodies to circle his shaft, I smiled at the feeling of my essence on his sensitive skin.
But I didn’t linger.
I lifted up enough to aim the head of his cock at my opening and then slowly lowered myself down.
I was wetter than I’d ever been but still felt a bit of sharpness as he filled me, his length and girth stretching me to capacity.
Beyond.
It was incredible, the sensations bombarding my body, ripping a moan from my throat.
Before I had a chance to move, Aras caught my clit between two of his fingers. A few deft moves, and I went off like a rocket, coming so hard I had to rest my hands on his chest to try to anchor myself.
Aras tightened his hold on my hips and began thrusting, his controlled motions demonstrating how strong he was.
But I didn’t dwell on that, couldn’t dwell on anything but Aras driving me to orgasm again, my cries flowing as freely from my mouth as wetness
did from my pussy.
Somehow, my hands found his wrists, and I held on tight, losing myself in the sensation, in him. He stilled beneath me and on a harsh breath spilled his cum inside me.
The urge to kiss him came back strong, but I again pushed it back and let myself fall limply against his chest.
He wrapped his arms around me, and in that moment, I knew I didn’t want to be anywhere else—no matter what.
Five
Aras
“I have to go,” I said to Lake early the next morning as we sat around the kitchen table.
She froze for a moment but recovered quickly.
“Do you know when you’ll be back?” she asked.
“No.”
She nodded and then took a sip of her coffee, doing a very convincing job of seeming like the answer didn’t matter.
Except I wasn’t convinced.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, maybe I was trying to see things that weren’t there, but when I looked at Lake, I saw a faint tension around her eyes, tightness in her shoulders.
That urge to reassure her, the one that I had never had with anyone else and doubted I ever would, came back with a vengeance.
I went to her, gently pried the cup from her fingers, and set it down.
“If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re worried about me.”
I added a little smile to the end, wondering at this new side of myself.
Humor wasn’t something that was a part of me, but as Lake kept proving, she had a way of making me different—better, I suspected, though I didn’t let myself think about that too deeply.
She glanced at me, returned the smile. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
“Just a hunch.”
We sat in silence then, my hands atop hers.
I wanted to tell her everything would be okay, that I would be back soon, that this would be over soon, that she could get back to her life.
Even thinking that made my heart twist, but more importantly, I couldn’t say it.
Because I didn’t know it to be true.
I didn’t know anything to be true except the fact that I loved her and that I could not rest until Vlad was dead.
Those two things were in conflict, a conflict that I couldn’t resolve, especially not now.