by Lorin Grace
Candace took a deep breath. “For weeks I’ve been thinking about how to tell him about my falsies, but I kept chickening out, putting it off.”
“Being the queen of procrastination?” Zoe shook her head.
“Yes. I didn’t want to tell him, because I was his first kiss and he deserves to have a real woman.”
Mandy put her arm around Candace’s shoulders. “You are a real woman. One with the scars to prove it.”
Candace wiped away an annoying tear. “We were kissing, he’d been in Hong Kong, and, well, things got more intense than I usually let them. You know what I mean.” Candace waved her hands helplessly. Knowing she was blushing only added to her embarrassment. It didn’t help that Mandy, Abbie, and Tessa all smiled knowingly. “Anyway, he was about to discover my prosthetics on his own. I was mad at myself for not telling him and for letting things get that passionate, so I took out my falsies and handed them to him.”
“What did he say?” asked Zoe.
“I don’t think he said anything. I ran out. People who realize I have had cancer, which is almost everyone who sees my hair two days in a row, always tell me I am so brave, but I’m not. I couldn’t face his reaction.” Candace buried her head in her hands. Tessa and Abbie hadn’t reacted to the news. She wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, and she wasn’t sure if either had known before.
Zoe wrapped her arms around her and let her cry. “One of the things that got me through the last two years is you telling me life was mostly the choices we make when bad things happen.”
Candace looked up. “I don’t see where I still have any choices left.”
Mandy rocked Joy in the carrier with her foot. “You have a choice to talk to him. I called you yesterday because you were not answering him and he was worried. Colin isn’t like Daniel. He doesn’t have much experience when it comes to dating. He wouldn’t tell me what happened, but he begged me to check on you.”
Abbie spoke for the first time. “Maybe it isn’t your choice that matters. It could be Colin’s. The question for you is can you handle it if he wants a relationship? I don’t think you are as afraid of him leaving as you are of him holding on to you until you come to your senses and hold on to him too.”
Afraid of him holding on or being held? Ridiculous. Everyone wanted to be held. Even her.
No one spoke for a long time. Across town, the church bells chimed the hour. Tessa stood. “How about we have some of that chocolate?”
twenty
Colin studied the sky from his observatory. One of the planes he’d been tracking in the last half hour had to be the Harmon’s jet. According to Daniel, Mandy and the baby would be back by dinnertime. He’d been tempted to alter Sabrina’s programming so she would tell him if Candace had returned to her apartment. But that was crossing too many lines. Another plane flew by, but it was on its initial climb, not landing.
“Candace Wilson is on the elevator. Should I grant access to the penthouse?”
“Sabrina, yes!” Colin hurried down the spiral staircase and through the rooms. The elevator opened just as he got there. He searched for something to say. Candace held up a shopping bag. He took it. The T-shirt said, “I’m with stupid.” Candace moved to his right side so that if he put it on it would point at her.
“I don’t get it.” Colin put the shirt back in the bag.
“I shouldn’t have told you the way I did, and I shouldn’t have tried to shut you out. I am stupid.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid.” Colin led the way into the more formal sitting room. Candace sat on one end of the couch, and he took the other.
The silence begged to be broken. Candace took a breath. “Shortly after my sixteenth birthday, my mother was diagnosed with stage-four breast cancer. She taught my sister and me how to do self-exams. I found a lump, but cancer in teen girls is rare. We only got it checked because my grandmother had also had breast cancer. Mine was fast moving and had already spread to a couple of lymph nodes. Dad found mom a spot in Houston at MD Anderson, hoping they could do something. I went too. After conferring with several doctors, I decided to remove not only the breast with the tumor but the healthy one, too. Mom and I had our mastectomies the same day. I didn’t know it until we were in Indy and I talked to Dad, but she only did it to support me. It didn’t change her outcome. Because it had spread to our lymph nodes and to her bones, we both had chemo. Mom and Dad didn’t tell Crystal and I how serious Mom’s was until it got near the end. When I made the choice to remove the healthy one, it seemed logical since there was a genetic factor. I figured since I only had ten years to live, I would never get married anyway.”
“You had already started your ten-year plan?”
“No, just my bucket list. My first thing was a photo with Mom in the Texas bluebonnets. Then I wanted to kiss one man each year until I died. Looking back, that was stupid. I pretty much just kissed anyone. People accuse men of using women. I wasn’t any better. It wasn’t until Mandy fell for Daniel that I saw my folly. I was on number nine. I never did kiss number ten.”
Colin held up his hand. “So I am number ten?”
She grabbed his hand and held it between hers, sending warmth up his arm. “Or you are number one of my new plans.”
Number one sounded good. Which reminded him about 1 2 3. What did it mean?
“I’d meant to tell you about the mastectomies since Indy. I knew things were getting serious, and I knew you needed the choice to find someone who was whole. But I couldn’t do it. I’d made up my mind to tell you that night, but one thing led to another, and then I was regretting my choice to not leave the healthy one just in case . . . in case . . .” Tears formed in her eyes.
Colin pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her. I love you Candace. It doesn’t matter.
“Thanks.”
Colin cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak, but Candace held up her hand.
“There is more. One of the more obvious side effects of my treatment is my lack of hair. Permanent hair loss was a known but rare side effect of the new drug they used on me. A more common one was early onset menopause. As in I have been having hot flashes, et cetera, for a year, and I am not even twenty-eight. I can’t have children.”
The news didn’t surprise him. “I wondered if that might be the case. I did a lot of research over the weekend. You have been in remission for a decade, so you have excellent chances of the cancer not reoccurring, especially since you chose to remove healthy tissue. I think I’d rather have you around for fifty years with two scars than the alternative.”
“Do you have any idea how ugly they are?” Candace let go of his and started to lift the hem of her shirt.
Colin reached out and stopped her tugging the shirt back down. “If you hadn’t had the mastectomies, would you show me your chest?”
“Not until the wedding night.” Candace blushed. “I mean, I wouldn’t show any man until then.”
“Then don’t show me now. Your scars are a special part of you, showing your strength and courage. They should be saved for a special time.”
Candace looked at him in disbelief. “But they are so ugly.”
“I am told beauty is largely a part of one’s perspective.” He leaned closer and removed her wig and the wig cap beneath it. “You are beautiful.”
Tears ran down her face.
Colin panicked.
Candace laid a hand on either side of his face. “I love you, Colin McClain Ogilvie.” Then she kissed him.
She knew his middle name. She knew him. He kissed her back, hoping she would understand the things he didn’t know how to say.
Candace didn’t want to leave, but Sabrina and her alarm feature were annoyingly persistent.
“Cinderella needs to leave the ball. Dong, dong . . .”
Candace lifted he
r head from Colin’s shoulder. They had simply talked for the last hour. “Did you really program her to say that?”
“After our last kissing session started getting more intense, I thought it would be good to have our AI chaperon keep us in check. It was funnier in my mind.”
Candace got up and slipped her shoes and wig on. “It is kind of funny.”
Colin stood up with her. “How about that ball I promised you? How about Thursday night, since Friday is the Harmon’s party?”
“Will Sabrina be there?”
“My mother would kill me if I installed an AI out at the house.”
“Will your mother be there?”
“Probably not.”
Not too disappointing. The couple of times she had been around Colin and his mother, he was stiff and nervous. “Do I need a ball gown?”
“I think every woman should wear an appropriate gown to her own ball.”
“I left all my bridesmaids dresses at Art House.”
“Buy a new one.”
Candace smiled, knowing he had no clue how much a gown cost. “Nick doesn’t pay me that well.”
“Then let me buy you one. And don’t say no. I’ve watched all your old roommates get something extravagant. Daniel gave Mandy a house. I am just giving you a dress. Go shopping with Mandy and have her send the bill to me.”
Candace kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Yes, my prince. I’ll have a new gown by Thursday.”
“Cinderella needs to leave the ball. Dong, dong.”
Candace hurried to the elevator before the AI tried something more drastic, like an electric shock.
She set her alarm and got ready for bed. After putting her prosthetics in their individual boxes, she looked in the mirror. He thought her scars could be beautiful. She pondered that for a moment. Colin certainly had no problem with her bald head. In a few months, she might believe it. Fortunately, Colin was not one to make quick decisions.
twenty-one
The red Lamborghini looked like it had never been driven. Candace snuck a peek at the odometer: 8,942. It hadn’t.
“This was the best I could do for a coach. All the pumpkins were tied up for Halloween parties this weekend. My mother even took her limo to a party.”
So Mrs. Ogilvie would not be in attendance. The revelation didn’t shock Candace. Although Candace suspected they cared about each other, mother and son didn’t have a particularly close relationship. His mother had probably never figured out a way to talk to a boy who held conversations with computers. She ran her hand over the supple leather seat. “I think this will do very nicely. I only worry that my green dress looks too Christmassy with the red of the car.”
“Well, you look stunning in it. I only wish I had more people to invite to the ball. But at least with Araceli and Kyle we will have four couples.”
“I am glad they could come since Tessa and Zoe couldn’t.”
“I still don’t see why they couldn’t just fly over for the night.”
Candace laughed at his fake pout. Zoe was now publicly dating Nick, who’d managed to have his fair share of paparazzi hounds—not as many as Daniel, but still enough that Zoe’s photo had made it into the gossip vlogs this week. “I think they had prior engagements. Not everyone keeps an open social calendar.” It was lucky Mandy and Abbie and their husbands were free.
The mansion was a fantastic specimen of turn-of-the-century craftsmanship. Colin parked in the circular drive, and a man wearing what seemed to be British-style livery opened the doors. “Uniforms?”
“Mom likes them for special events. Since we are having a ball, Mandy thought it would add to the theme.”
“Does that make me Cinderella?” Even on the magical bucket-list night in the castle, she never felt as much like a princess as she did when the butler opened the door and announced them into the ballroom, where the three other couples waited. Overhead, electric candles twinkled from the chandelier. Where she expected to see some sort of electronic speakers, a quartet played.
As Colin led her to the center of the floor, she looked at Mandy and momentarily dropped her jaw. Her friend got the message and giggled. Colin nodded to the musicians, and they started to play a waltz. Candace let her eyes flutter closed, knowing that Colin’s expert leading would do all the work. She felt like a princess in his arms. When the tempo changed, she opened her eyes to find Colin studying her.
“I don’t know that I have ever danced with a woman who closed her eyes before.”
“I just wanted to just feel everything for a moment. But it looks amazing, too.”
The other couples joined them. Colin twirled her in the direction of the terrace. What would a ballroom be without a terrace for lovers to sneak away to?
The cool air teased at her, and she leaned into Colin for warmth and the promised kiss.
Colin led her to a bench in the corner. “I didn’t plan this very well. In my mind it was warmer.” He knelt in front of her, and her heart began to race. No, not yet.
“Candace Lucy Wilson, will you dance waltzes with me all the days of your life?”
The diamond glistened in the light that poured out the door to the ballroom. She tried to speak. No was the wrong answer. Yes was impossible. Wasn’t it? She tried to force the acceptance out, but it was caught in a grip of fear.
Colin waited, the furrow in his brow deepening.
She tried to breathe and couldn’t.
His shoulders slumped. He mumbled something, and his face faded as darkness overcame her.
Colin caught her just as she tumbled off the bench.
“Daniel!”
Colin’s yell brought not only Daniel but the other couples and some of the staff.
Mandy reached his side first. “Did she faint?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anyone faint before.”
“What were you doing out here?” Daniel took off his coat and placed it over Candace.
“Proposing?” Colin answered as quietly as he could, but it was evident from the gasps that everyone had heard him.
“I think she is coming around. Let’s get her inside,” said Abbie.
Daniel helped him stand. Candace was lighter than he thought she would be.
Araceli took the pillows off a nearby davenport. As Colin set Candace down, she moaned.
“Everyone step back to give her some air.” Abbie’s bodyguard personality came out as she ushered everyone back.
Colin turned to the other men. “Your wives didn’t faint, did they?”
Preston covered his mouth with his hand, but his eyes still held laughter. “I’ve proposed several times and never seen that reaction. Although I did have one end up in a fountain screaming.”
Colin kept one eye on Candace. Mandy handed her a glass of water. He couldn’t hear what the woman was saying.
Abbie came over. “I’ll take Candace home. She is still feeling a little shaky. Colin, she said she would talk to you soon.”
The women left.
“Well, guys, I guess the ball is over.” Colin searched for something he could offer them. But even his mother’s etiquette drills didn’t help. His brain refused to process anything. He wanted to be alone, afraid one of his friends would discover the source of Candace’s distress. He couldn’t face the humiliation. “Perhaps you should see to your wives?”
“Whose car did they take?” asked Kyle. “Did they take a driver or a bodyguard?”
Daniel and Preston laughed at the same time. “Abbie.”
Kyle shook his head. “I hardly ever think of her that way.”
“Well, it looks like I need a ride. Daniel?” Preston asked.
Within minutes, Colin was alone with a dozen staff members.
He trudged up to his old bedroom and tri
ed to figure out what he’d done wrong.
Candace woke up with the biggest headache of her life. She wandered out to the kitchen in search of an ice pack. Advice—she needed some. She went back into the bedroom and found her phone.
She dialed Reverend Cavanagh’s number, but it went straight to voicemail.
She scrolled down and hit the icon for Dad.
“Morning, sweetie.”
“Dad can I come visit for the weekend?”
“Sure, why?”
“I’ll explain when I get there.”
Candace hung up and called in sick again. At this rate, Nick was going to fire her.
The ice wasn’t touching her headache, so she dug through her essential oils until she found a blend she’d had success with in the past.
Tossing a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts into a bag, she headed out. At the door, she whispered, “Sabrina, don’t tell him,” just in case the AI was watching her apartment, too.
All weekend, Colin waited for Candace to return his calls or texts, but a reply never came. Her car wasn’t in the garage, and according to security, she’d left early Saturday morning. Her disappearance could have had something to do with the fact that Zoe and Nick were all over the news. Even if it wasn’t really them. No doubt Candace was somewhere dealing with the fallout. Colin had been so busy yesterday preparing for his proposal that he had missed the media circus wrongly accusing his friend of assault and dredging up Zoe’s past.
Even if he had seen it, there was little he could have done to help.
He hoped Candace was with Zoe. The other alternative was that she’d run from him after his proposal.
Late Sunday afternoon, Colin texted Nick.
Sorry I couldn’t bury Zoe’s life deeper.
—Not your fault.
Is she talking to you?
—She left me a goodbye note.