Lucas gave me a knowing look. “You’re going to be okay, Emma. You and Ally both.”
I took a deep breath. “I know. I’m excited for this, I am. It’s just scary.”
“All exciting things are also a bit scary,” Lucas pointed out. “Taking over the business after Dad… it was scary.”
“You’d practically been running the business before Dad passed on, there was no reason to be nervous.”
“And yet, there I was. Nervous as fuck.” Lucas put his hands on my shoulders and smiled warmly. “But you were there for me. You helped me out. And I got through it.”
“And the business is thriving.”
“Damn right it is.” Lucas squeezed my shoulders. “So, you’re going to be great too. And besides, it’s not too far from New York to here. You can come over and visit any time, or if you need Van or me to come up to you, we can do that too. I’m my own boss, I make my own hours.”
It was reassuring to hear that, to be reminded of this. “Are you sure I’m making the right choice?”
Lucas gaped at me. “Emma, of course you are. You worked your ass off for this opportunity, are you kidding me? You should’ve had some kind of job like this long ago. You got sidetracked, there were some curves and bumps in the road, it happens. But you’re here now, getting what you deserve, and I’m not going to let you give it away just because you’re nervous.”
Tears sprang into my eyes and I hugged my brother tightly. He always believed in me and was there for me, even when I didn’t quite believe in myself. “Thank you. You know I wouldn’t have made it through college or any of it if it wasn’t for you.”
Sure, it had taken me an extra year and I hadn’t been able to go to an Ivy League, but I’d still gotten my degree, and I had Van and Lucas to thank for it.
“Of course.” Lucas hugged me back. “You’re my sister, how could I do anything else?”
That was the kind of guy Lucas was. Just… ready to help out. The best brother anyone could’ve asked for.
Lucas pulled back. “Now, you have your pepper spray, right? And you know to have a special code with Ally in case things go wrong. And you need to install extra locks on your door, the ones that they’ll have in place won’t be sturdy enough and you can never have too many locks—”
“Oh my God.” I burst out laughing. “Lucas, it’s not like I’m going to be living in the middle of a prison or something. Yes, I’ll have pepper spray and everything, I’ll try not to go out after dark, but come on. It’s going to be fine. I’m going to be perfectly safe and it’ll all be great.”
“You sure it’s going to be fine?”
“Yes, I’m sure!”
“Good.” Lucas winked. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say.”
Oh, that tricky bastard.
“Mama!” Ally had the lung capacity of someone twice her size, I swear. “I wanna snack!”
I glanced over at Lucas, who was trying not to laugh. “Sure thing, honey!” I lowered my voice. “Should we break for lunch?”
“Probably a good idea.”
Van and Ally were downstairs in the kitchen. Ally rushed right up to me and grabbed my legs. “Mama, I’m hungry!”
God, I loved her so much. I hadn’t realized that it was possible to love one person this much. Not that I hadn’t ever loved anyone else. I loved Van, I loved Lucas, I loved my parents. I had loved Parker, painful as it was to think about. But none of that was the same kind of love that I had for my daughter. There’d been a lot of talk between my parents and me on what to do about my pregnancy. Should I abort? Should I give the baby up for adoption? Should I raise the baby as my own?
I’d decided to carry the baby to term, but I hadn’t been sure about giving the child up for adoption or not. I’d genuinely been on the fence all the way up to the delivery room. But then my daughter had been placed in my arms and I had felt my heart grow wings and fly out of me like a bird, nestling in this tiny, precious little bundle instead. And I’d known that I was keeping her. That the two of us were meant to be together.
“Allison, what do we say?” I asked her. I only used her full name when I was trying to be firm. The rest of the time we called her Ally, or Alley Cat, when we were being especially playful. She really was just like a little cat, full of energy, walking to the beat of her own drum. She had my dark hair but Parker’s green eyes, and at first, it had broken my heart all over again to look at them. To know that I wouldn’t ever see Parker again, and that he would never know about his daughter—and that she might not ever know about him. Not unless when she was an adult she decided to track him down.
“Please, Mama?” Ally asked.
“Very good. Let’s make sandwiches.”
“You’ll be able to have all kinds of different food in New York City,” Van told Ally, grinning and wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “Chinese food, Indian food, Mexican food, Italian food, Brazilian food…”
“It’ll be a lot different than good old Rehoboth,” I agreed, laughing. “That’s for sure.”
“Hey, Rehoboth’s not so bad, food wise,” Lucas countered, always ready to disagree with Van.
“We have one Mexican place,” Van pointed out. “And an Olive Garden. That is not variety. NYC has everything, it’s got Chinatown and Little Ethiopia and proper sushi and curry and pierogi and…”
“Okay, okay, we get it,” I laughed. “But right now, I’ve got peanut butter and jelly, and you’re going to like it.”
Lucas chuckled and Van rolled her eyes fondly, and I felt warmth spread through my chest. I was going to be fine, I told myself. This was going to be an adventure.
3
Parker
After interviewing people all day, I was exhausted.
I’d hoped that not making the room free would keep the crazies away, but man, was I wrong. I felt like I’d just interviewed a bunch of people hoping to get into the insane asylum.
First there was this older lady wearing a skin-tight dress with her little dog on her lap. She’d been feeding him treats the whole time, while eyeing me like she was going to eat me. And, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t judging anyone on their age or anything. But it was really creepy how she’d been looking at me. I wasn’t looking for a roommate to hook up with, I was looking for a friend.
The second person had been this guy who I honestly thought might be a serial killer. He kept asking me questions like how much meat could fit in my freezer, and when would I be out, and did I mind the smell of bleach. He might’ve been trolling me, honestly, but I didn’t want to take any chances.
There were some good people in there, too, people who clearly just needed a break, but most of them were college students and I didn’t want to have people that young living with me. I was twenty-five, I’d done the whole crazy young person thing, and I could see a lot of them sizing me up and mentally going oh shit, he’s hot. I didn’t want to deal with a young person who thought it wouldn’t be a big deal to sleep with their older roommate. No thanks. They could take their young person drama somewhere else.
And the crazies just kept on coming. There were a few couples who wanted to move in, but no way was I dealing with that mess. One couple argued throughout the entire interview. One couple told me they were engaged, but then when I asked when the wedding was, the woman said in June and the guy said in November, and hoo boy, did that make things awkward. Another couple had the girl in the guy’s lap and they kept kissing each other every time they answered one of my questions. Um, nothing against love but there was such a thing as too much PDA. No, thanks.
Honestly, maybe I should just give up. Give it some time, make friends another way, eventually see if one of those people had a friend who needed a place to live. It had been so easy last time! Ash had been one of the first people I’d interviewed and we’d hit it off right away. But it was afternoon, now, and I felt like I’d been conducting these interviews for a hundred years. I had talked to a girl who wanted to bring her ten pet rats with her! No way.
There was a knock at the door again and I tried not to groan. I’d said interviews would be until four p.m. today, first come first served, and it was only three thirty. Another half an hour to go.
Steeling myself, I walked over to the front door and opened it. “Hi, I’m Parker—”
Whatever else I had been about to say died in my throat as I stared.
It was Emma. Emma Long. Lucas’s sister, my best friend’s sister, the girl I’d had sex with, had fallen in love with, right before Mom got sick and Dad had dragged me back to Europe. The only girl I’d ever really had feelings for.
Emma stared at me, looking about as shocked as I felt. My heart was racing in my chest. I was tempted to pinch myself to make sure this was real, but even with five years between now and the last time I’d seen her, I couldn’t fail to recognize her.
“Parker.” Emma cleared her throat. “Are you going to let me in, or…?”
“Oh, right.” I stepped back to allow her inside, closing the door behind us. Emma walked around the living room, checking it out. I followed in her wake, all of my notes and questions forgotten.
After all, what would I ask? I knew all about her family, her childhood, her favorite food, her favorite color, her dreams, her passions. I’d grown up with her. I’d slept with her, held her in my arms. We’d talked about the future and had pointed out constellations to each other in the clear summer sky. All the trite little ‘get to know you’ questions I’d thought up for potential roommates were meaningless now.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t my last roommate interview. Maybe she was here for another reason? Had she heard I was back in the country and wanted to stop by for old times’ sake?
Maybe she lived in the city. After all, she’d been on her way to Harvard. I was sure that she had some high-paying, luxurious, badass job that kept her busy. She sure looked amazing. Beautiful as ever, but no longer in that teenager way. I hadn’t realized how young we both were until I was looking back five years later. We’d felt like such adults back then, eighteen and twenty respectively, but we’d still kind of been kids.
Now Emma looked more mature. Still had that thick, gorgeous dark hair and those big brown eyes that sucked you right in. I could get lost in those eyes for hours. Curvy still, she’d always been big, and she wore it like a damn queen. Her clothes, though, were a lot more casual than I would’ve expected. Surely she would be wearing fancy dresses and tailored suits at whatever job she now had. It had been five years, after all. Emma’d always been ambitious. I bet she’d worked her way right up the ladder.
“I’m here about the room,” Emma replied. “I emailed you when I saw your advertisement, I’m the woman with the young daughter?”
I hadn’t been sure about a person with a kid, but it was better than the whole families who’d tried to score this space, and I’d figured, hey, give the single parent a chance. But the email had said that the parent was just moving to NYC, had a new job, just gotten her bachelor’s…
That couldn’t be right. Emma was supposed to go to Harvard, how—
And then the other puzzle piece clicked into place.
Emma had a daughter.
4
Emma
When Parker had answered the door I’d almost turned right around and left. I should’ve known this whole thing was too good to be true, that there would be some kind of catch to it. But this was the only apartment in my price range that was near both my job and Ally’s daycare.
And the advertisement had been cute! Funny! The guy had seemed decent! I’d sent him an email and he’d been kind but honest in response, saying he was happy to interview me but he wasn’t sure about the kid situation. I’d told him I’d explain and that we could chat about it, and there we were. I hadn’t been surprised that a potential roommate might need convincing to room with a kid. Kids could be insane. I understood.
But now…
Thank God Ally was at daycare. I couldn’t even imagine how I would’ve handled it, seeing my daughter with her father. And neither of them knowing the truth.
I felt sick. Like, actually sick. My stomach twisted and acid rose in my throat. I had never thought I’d see Parker again, but especially not like this, under these circumstances.
“Oh, of course.” Parker looked embarrassed. “Here, please, sit down. Do you want water or anything?”
“I’m okay, thank you.” I sat on the couch and Parker took the armchair across from it. There was a notepad and pencil on the chair, but Parker just moved those aside without even looking at them.
I wondered what was on the notepad. Questions to ask the potential roommate? Yeah, well, those questions were out the window now. We’d grown up together. We’d been lovers, once.
“Sorry, I’m just… a bit caught off guard.” Parker gave me a tentative smile. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”
Five years, to be precise. It was kind of easy to keep track when you had a kid to help you count the days. Ally would be five years old, soon. Happy anniversary.
I didn’t resent Ally herself. Ally was my joy. I’d throw myself in front of a bullet for her. I loved her beyond all reason. And it wasn’t like she’d chosen this situation. She hadn’t made it happen. She was an innocent child. To be resentful towards her for something not her doing would’ve been cruel and selfish.
But I couldn’t help but resent Parker a little. He’d disappeared and never looked back and I’d had to raise Ally all on my own. He hadn’t known about her, of course, he’d left before I’d told him I was pregnant, but he would’ve known about her if he’d written or called, even once. If he’d done anything to stay in touch.
Anger and nerves twisted inside of me like hot snakes. What was I getting myself into?
“You, uh.” I had never seen Parker nervous before. “You’re in NYC for a new job, you said? In your email?”
“That’s right. I wanted a new opportunity, something different from the small town I’d lived in my whole life.”
“Hey, don’t knock that small town,” Parker said, gently teasing. It was so natural to see him doing that, to fall into that old pattern. “It was always good to me.”
The anger in me spiked. “Why did you up and leave, then, if it was so great?”
My words came out snappier, harsher, than I’d meant for them to. I saw Parker physically recoil, his eyes going wide and his face flushing. Perhaps I was angrier with him than I’d thought. “I’d had to deal with a family issue,” he said, his voice quiet and hurt.
And that family issue had kept him from reaching back out to us for five years? Sure.
Before I could say that, though, Parker straightened up and grabbed his notepad with a determined look on his face. Okay, back to business, then. “So, what is your typical schedule going to look like? Will you need help changing diapers?”
“Ally’s too old for diapers,” I shot back, folding my arms. Who did he think he was? Ugh. Had he gotten snobby in the years since I’d last seen him? His family had come from major money, sure, but Parker had never been a snob before. “She walks and talks just like a proper human.”
“I assume you’ll want it quiet in the house after seven p.m. then?”
“Maybe I want it quiet in the house all the time.” I wasn’t going to let him bombard me with judgmental questions.
“Are you okay with alcohol in the apartment? Do you want me to child-proof everything?”
“You can child-proof your mouth.” My tone was getting sharper again but I didn’t care. Two could play this game and frankly? I had a lot of resentment built up over five years. I could beat him any day at this nonsense.
The tension in the room was starting to rise, getting thick and heavy like dough. I knew I needed this place—really, I did, it was perfect, or at least it seemed perfect. The location was great, the price was great, the apartment was clean and tastefully decorated and seemed to be the perfect size… it was a dream come true. Except for
the fact that Parker would be my roommate.
Was this really a good idea? Why was I even still here? I should’ve turned around the moment I saw who it was. Parker wasn’t a malicious person. But he had still left and not called or written for five years and now he was being confrontational and I was sick of all of these questions. It was nonsense.
I was crazy, thinking of moving in with the guy who not only had broken my heart when I was eighteen, but was the father of my child and didn’t even know it! What the hell did I think I was getting myself into?
5
Parker
What the hell did I think I was getting myself into?
And who the hell was this woman in front of me? She sure as hell wasn’t the Emma that I remembered, the one that I’d known for years and been so intimate with. She’d always been so sweet. Laughing at my bad jokes, eager to please, full of emotion, daring and fun. She’d pushed me, sometimes, and she never took no for an answer, but she’d never been sharp like this.
Sure, I knew she could be determined. She’d always had her nose in a book, was always working her ass off, was always prickly to people who thought she couldn’t make it or she wasn’t good enough. She’d put up with some bullying because of her size and she knew how to verbally cut someone into tiny pieces.
But she’d never turned it on me. I guess that was the difference here. I had never dealt with Emma like this. She’d always been happy to see me. We’d never had any arguments or fights. And now… Well, she wasn’t pulling any punches, that was for sure. Maybe living with her wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe it was only going to end in disaster for both of us.
I stood up, breaking the tension and the détente we’d fallen into. “I might as well show you around.”
The apartment was big enough to be a house, honestly, even though it only had one story. There was the kitchen, the living room, the two bedrooms, both of which had ensuite bathrooms, my home office, and even a small dining room. I showed Emma the kitchen first.
Roomies with Brother's Best Friend Page 3