“I live where I’m taking you.”
“The same building?”
I never had a chance to actually see the place, but to me it felt almost like it could be located somewhere in another dimension, a different reality. Finding out that it was actually someone’s home seemed odd.
“Yes,” he confirmed calmly.
His answers only bred more questions.
“How long have you been in Belarus?” I asked.
“Just over half of my life.”
“And where were you before?”
“In the Islamic Empire.”
“Where?”
“Er . . .” He paused for a moment. “The Middle East it’s called now.”
“Is that where you were born?”
“No.”
I was happy he replied at all, but the more I asked the less I knew. His answers didn’t give me much, and our small talk was beginning to feel more like an interrogation on my part.
As if sensing my frustration, he heaved a long sigh.
“You have to excuse me, Jade.” His deep voice sounded apologetic. “I truly enjoy your interest in me—more than you may realise. Unfortunately, I’m not able to answer your questions properly, for various reasons. I wouldn’t be able to give you honest answers, and I don’t think you would appreciate me lying.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” I agreed with a sigh of my own. “Well, that may make any small talk difficult for us—I can’t ask you questions, and you already know everything about me . . .”
“No, not everything,” he replied quickly. “Not even close.”
“Well, you did an ‘extensive background check,’ didn’t you?”
“Yes. So, I know the facts. Nothing more.”
“What else is there to know? Do you still have questions for me?”
“Many,” he said softly.
“Like what?”
“Why did your start visiting us in the first place?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I exhaled a short laugh. “I had a fantasy I wanted fulfilled.”
“Why are you not afraid?” The question was somewhat unexpected and made me pause. “Even that first time, you had no fear, just some apprehension.”
I noted with surprise that not only did he correctly identify my emotions back then, he also remembered what I felt that night after all this time.
“I don’t have any reason to be afraid,” I replied after a few moments. “I’ve never been harmed by any of you.”
“You took a risk coming in the first place.”
“Not as much as you may think,” I disagreed. “I knew someone who did it before me, and she wasn’t harmed either. So there wasn’t that much risk.”
“The danger is always there,” he argued. The certainty in his voice prickled along my spine with unease. “Sometimes more than you can know. Why do it at all? Why not stay home, where you’re safe? What makes you get in this car month after month?”
More like who.
By now, Vadim had become my main reason for these visits. I had been looking forward to spending a couple of hours in his proximity in this car even more than to the orgasms delivered by others.
There was no way I would confess anything like that to him, though. And I chose to speak to my initial reasons, instead.
“It’s a fantasy I have. What you, I mean they, are going to do to me tonight is something that I find exciting. Don’t you have some fantasies too? If, let’s say, Wonder Woman knocked on your door in real life, begging you to have a night of hot sex with her, wouldn’t you jump at the chance?”
“No,” he replied coolly. “She’s not my fantasy.”
“Well, you may be the only straight man in the Universe then.” I huffed a laugh, then a sudden thought doused me like a bucket of ice-cold water.
Straight?
What if he wasn’t? What if I had imagined the response to me that I sensed from him? After all, he’d confessed he’d never touched me in that room and he had never voiced any desires for anything more between us.
“Vadim.” I cleared my suddenly dry throat. “You said you’re in that room with me on the nights of my visits.”
“Always,” he replied slowly.
“Do you . . . watch me?”
“Yes.” His voice descended lower, thick and soft, like the velvet around my eyes.
For once, I was actually grateful for the blindfold—it gave me the courage to be direct.
“What do you feel while you watch me?”
“Everything you feel, Jade.” His voice caressed my skin, more titillating than the hands of the strangers.
“Everything?” I repeated, feeling a little lightheaded now.
“Your anticipation,” he continued, “Your desire, your lust—I feel them all.”
“Do you . . . touch yourself?” It came out rather throaty, and I pressed my knee more firmly to his—the only physical contact between us.
“No.”
“Do you touch . . . um, anyone else?”
“No.”
“Then why? What’s the purpose of tonight?”
He inhaled deeply and moved his knee away.
“This is another one of those questions that I can’t answer, Jade.”
Chapter 14
THE CAR STOPPED, BUT the door didn’t immediately open like it usually did. Instead, I heard Vadim exit first. Then the door at my side opened and his hand found mine.
“Careful,” he warned, helping me out of the vehicle.
The fact that it was he who led me inside the building and down the stairs this time did not escape me. Little by little, he seemed to be taking over the functions that used to be performed by others—first, helping me dress and demanding to be the one picking me up, and now walking me through the building himself.
“Do you need help?” he asked when we stopped at the chair in the room where I usually took my clothes off.
His hand was still in mine, and I couldn’t bring myself to let go. I didn’t want him to step back either, afraid I’d miss his scent and his touch—even through the leather of his glove—as soon as he moved away.
“Yes,” I replied, and then specified, lest there be any misunderstanding, “I need your help to undress.”
His squeezed my hand gently.
“If it’s your wish—”
“Yes. My wish.” My voice was even firmer this time.
He cleared his throat again and stepped closer, letting go of my hand.
I swayed forward, leaning into his scent and the warmth emanating from his large body.
He brushed his hands down my shoulders, taking off my jacket, then slowly unwrapped my scarf.
Instead of turning me to get to the long zipper of my dress, he circled his arms around me, bringing me closer to him than I’d ever been.
He tugged the zipper down. Then the soft leather of his gloves skimmed along my spine, eliciting a web of tiny shivers across my skin, as he snapped my bra open and let it fall to the floor along with the dress.
My breathing grew fast and shallow. With his hands pressed to my bare back, I was surrounded by him. It wasn’t quite an embrace—he strained his muscles to keep from actually hugging, simply enclosing me into the circle of his arms, instead. His proximity was enough to make my head spin, though.
Suddenly unsteady on my feet, I rocked forward and pressed my forehead to his chest—his muscles flexed under the thin material of his shirt, but he held still. So still, I hardly felt his breathing.
Emboldened by the fact that he wasn’t moving away, I slid my hands up his stomach—feeling the hard ridges of his abs tense under my touch—then up his chest, to his shoulders and neck.
The tips of my fingers barely skimmed the skin over the collar of his shirt when his whole body shuddered and he withdrew from me so suddenly, I nearly lost my balance.
He grabbed my wrists, yanking my hands away from his neck.
“Jade . . .” His voice was choked. His reaction enough to make it clear—my touch
was not welcome. Still—vibrating head to toe, shocked by my body’s reaction to his—I couldn’t let go.
I needed more of him. And now that there was a definite end to whatever time we could have together, I had no strength left in me to fight this need.
“Can it be you?” I begged. “Please, can you be the one to touch me tonight?” Afraid to hear another cool ‘no’ from him, I added quickly, “This is my wish for tonight. I want it to be you.”
“Jade,” he exhaled, his hands squeezing my wrists harder, deep regret unmistakable in his voice. “That is impossible.”
“Why?” I wouldn’t give up, even as I realised I was begging a man for intimacy that he’d made clear he wouldn’t or couldn’t give to me.
“They will take you in,” he said softly, letting go of my arms, and severing the only contact between us.
I couldn’t see him, the sound of two pairs of boots from those entering the room drowned out his footsteps, but I felt him move away. The warm fragrant cloud of his presence around me disappeared, taking along the light, heady feeling I always experienced near him.
Quickly and efficiently, the hands of the strangers took off the rest of my clothes for me. Then someone—not Vadim—lifted me up, pressing me to the cool chest plates of their armour, and carried me to the other room.
They lowered me on the table, the silky sensation of the padding underneath me familiar. The click of cuffs around my wrists and ankles, the expert glide of leather-clad hands on my body, even the rising arousal under their touch—had become a routine.
All I had to do was to surrender and let them give me what I’d come here for. Over and over again. For as long as I could take it.
With a deep inhale, I stretched my back, trying to get into the moment, to enjoy what I thought I craved.
Frustratingly, it wasn’t that easy this time.
The bitterness from his rejection still lingered, bringing a feeling of disappointment and loss.
The hands of strangers, no matter how dexterous, couldn’t substitute for what I wanted—his touch.
Suddenly, the glide of their hands on me felt more intrusive than exciting. The arousal fizzled to nothing. I yanked at the chains holding me, needing to be free from all of this . . .
“Stop!” Vadim’s voice came from right above me, closer than I expected. With his order, the strangers ceased immediately, as if by magic. “Release her.”
The tone of authority in his command resonated through me, renewing the rush of excitement. Still, I was glad when the cuffs were taken off. It was obvious that my fantasy had changed irreversibly and my body now craved someone I couldn't have.
I sat up on the table and wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly extremely aware of my nudity in a room that might be filled with strangers.
Someone threw a sheet of silk over my shoulders, and I tucked it around me to cover up.
“Can I . . . take this off?” I lifted my hand to the blindfold.
The fantasy was over. This was reality, and I felt vulnerable—naked, blindfolded, and alone.
No one responded to my question. So I tugged at the knot at the back of my head, untying the strip of black velvet from around my head.
I expected semi-darkness—red silk, black leather, chandeliers. Instead, glaring white light greeted me, making me blink and squint for a few moments until my eyes adjusted to it.
As soon as I could see again, I swept the room with my gaze. It was big, as I had expected—glaring white walls, thick beams under the ceiling, balconies along two opposite walls.
The sight of the two dark figures standing at the table where I sat made me gasp. They were dressed in a sort of modern armour suits—a combination of charcoal-grey fabric and pewter—their heads completely covered by helmets that hid their faces.
Their size alone made them seem imposing and menacing, contributing to their appearance of robot-soldiers from some surreal army, ready to attack.
Unnerved by their silent presence, I pulled my legs up to my chest and twisted around, looking for him.
“Vadim?”
“I’m here.”
The familiar voice came from behind me. Standing at the head of the table, he took a step closer until his thighs hit the silk-covered edge.
Slowly, I slid my gaze up his tall frame. Dark jeans, army-green shirt with long sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Speechless, I took in his strong neck, the collarbone in the triangle made by the two top buttons of his shirt left open. Vadim wasn’t wearing his hoodie, and my jaw dropped at the sight of his face—he was incredibly handsome, in a strong, powerful way.
His dark-chestnut hair had copper highlights and just enough length to sink my fingers in.
His frown hardened his features, but it didn’t make him any less good-looking. In fact, the intensity in his gaze made him even more stunning, in my opinion. The deep line between his thick, dark eyebrows spoke of concern, not anger, to me.
With his eyes narrowed at me like that, I couldn’t quite make out their colour, but I believed I caught a hint of green.
“Vadim?” I asked again, just to make sure.
“I’ll take you out of here.” He rolled his sleeves down.
Besides him and the two silent ‘robots’, there was no one else in the room.
“Where is everyone?”
“I dismissed them all.”
“You did? When?”
“Two months ago.”
“Why? And how about these two?” I tipped my chin at the two figures at the table.
“They were your wish.”
Well, that was true. I wished for the hands of faceless strangers on me. And these two were as faceless as could be.
“Why did you dismiss everyone else?” I asked quietly, shifting under the red silk wrapped around me.
“That was my wish,” he said firmly. “I didn’t want anyone in here but me.”
Was that a possessive note in his tone that made my heart skip and my stomach flop?
He buttoned his shirt all the way and even lifted the collar up, too.
In preparation against my touch? I remembered his recoiling from my fingers barely touching his neck.
He stretched his hand towards one of the males at my side.
“Your gloves,” Vadim bit out.
It seemed to take the man in armour a moment to process the request. Then he silently pulled his gloves off and handed them to Vadim.
With both hands now covered, Vadim scooped me up from the table along with my sheet. I hooked my arm around his shoulder, leaning in as he carried me, but mindful to keep my hands away from his skin this time.
Chapter 15
EVEN THOUGH NOTHING had happened tonight, and I didn’t feel boneless or out of control as I usually did, Vadim insisted on dressing me.
Watching him slide my black lacy underwear over my hips then carefully roll my stockings up my legs, I desperately tried to read him.
He didn’t seem to mind being close to me. Why did he appear to loathe my touch?
I made a conscious effort to keep my body away from any unnecessary contact with his when he circled me with his arms to zip up my dress. But I couldn’t help a long inhale of air rich with his warm scent when his chest came close to my face.
Kneeling in front of me, he helped me put on my boots then got my scarf and jacket for me.
The lingering silence between us quickly grew uncomfortable. And by the time we both got in the car, I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Say something,” I demanded. “Or I’ll think you’re angry with me.”
“Me? Angry?” He sounded genuinely surprised.
“You’re not talking.” After months of enforcing silence between us, I now desperately needed him to speak.
“I am not much of a talker,” he replied with a small shake of his head. “And right now, I am actually terrified that if I say the wrong thing, I risk never seeing you again.”
“Why would you care either way?” I challe
nged.
“The way you felt tonight . . . Will you still come next month?”
I twisted the silver ring on my finger for a few seconds, thinking about my answer before honestly replying, “I don’t think so, Vadim.”
His large body slumped in the seat as if deflated.
“I can’t go through with it anymore,” I rushed to explain. “The fantasy . . . it seems to have worn itself out for me. I don’t want them touching me again. I can stop at any time,” I reminded. “That was the deal.”
He remained quiet.
“Are you upset that I don’t want other men touching me anymore?”
“No,” he shook his head. “Of course not. But I want to see you again.”
“Why?”
He rubbed his forehead.
“Because I simply cannot accept not seeing you anymore.”
“Why?” I repeated, feeling confused by his mixed signals. “Vadim, I don’t understand you. What is it that you want with me?”
“All of you, Jade.” He lifted his head to face me. His eyes glistened in the moonlight filtering through the car windows, his burning gaze inescapable. “Never in a thousand years could I have hoped to meet someone like you. My body responds to you and my mind craves you. I’m afraid if I let you go, I’ll spend the next thousand years, waiting for someone like you to come my way again.”
“And you say you’re not much of a talker . . .” I breathed out, my chest tight.
“I mean every word.” He covered my hand with his on the seat between us. “I need to see you again.”
Just a few months.
That’s all we had. With no chance for anything long-term, there couldn’t be any harm now in spending some of this time together. Could there?
I’d better use every moment of it then.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.
“Hungry?” he gritted through his teeth. Something dark flashed through his gaze, but the squeeze of his hand remained gentle on mine.
“Will you have dinner with me tonight?” I asked softly and added with a smile, “Since I just happen to have the night free.”
Grand Master (Demons, #3) Page 6