* * * * *
The first thing Abby noticed about Matilda were her clothes, and that’s because they were the polar opposite of what she usually wore. Gone were the trim suites and polished pumps. She was standing barefoot in the doorway in a frumpy housecoat, her waxy skin the color of chalk. Her hair hung down her back in tangles. Abby could tell that it hadn’t been washed in days. But it was her eyes that were most shocking of all. They were glassy and flat and too wide for her face. It looked like they could have been painted on. “No,” whispered Abby, fingers pressed to her lips, as her mother stared blankly in her direction.
“Abby?” said Matilda, but Abby couldn’t speak. Instead she squeezed against the now closed door, unable to face what she’d done. The others at the airport, are they like this too? She had to ask; she had to know.
Abby turned to Jake, about to say it, but she couldn’t get herself to ask. No, she thought. You don’t want this answer. Then Hendrick’s words cut through her mind, his message dark and true. “We are the same,” he had whispered. “Don’t fool yourself, little sister. You are just like us.”
“Matilda,” croaked Abby, forcing herself forward until she’d moved several feet into the foyer’s glow. It was warm inside, and the house felt right. Comfortable, like when her dad was alive. For a second she thought about running to her room, but when she looked back at her mother’s face, she froze.
“No,” moaned Matilda, holding her hands to her mouth. Her once groomed nails were bloody and raw, bitten down to the quick.
She’s afraid, thought Abby, trying not to cry. She could see the fear on her mother’s face, the terror that clouded the once blank stare.
“Stop it,” warned Jake, grabbing Abby by the wrist. He shoved her behind him with such force that she jammed her hip against the metal doorknob.
“Hey!” said Abby, but Jake didn’t bother to respond.
“Mom.” Jake’s voice was lilting and soft, as if he were speaking to a very small child. “Don’t worry, everything’ll be all right. We’re gonna fix this now. We’ll make you better, okay?”
“Jake,” said Matilda, and she rushed into his arms, burying her face in his chest.
Oh, god, thought Abby. What did I do?
Jake turned to her then, his arms still around Matilda. “Fix her,” he begged. “Do it now. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“I...” stumbled Abby. She didn’t know what to say. Fix her? What had Eleanor promised? Abby didn’t know what to do.
“I knew I would find her,” Jake crooned to Matilda, still huddled inside his arms. “Remember that dream I told you about? I knew she’d be there, and she was.”
Abby wanted to warn him about the woman in his dream. Eleanor was after him, that much was clear. But she knew he wouldn’t listen to her anyway. Shame flooded through her, heating her cheeks. And along with it rushed an image of Brian, skin pale as the milky sea. Hurry, she thought. You’re wasting time here. But she couldn’t move. She could barely breathe.
“Is she okay?” she whispered, to break the tension. But once the words were out, she wished she’d stayed mute.
“What do you think?” snapped Jake. “Does she look okay to you? She’s been like this ever since you left her at the airport. All of them have.”
“All of them?” said Abby, tears clouding her eyes. He’s lying, she thought. That can’t be true. But she remembered how everyone had frozen after she’d sung. Hundreds of people, were they all zombies now?
“The police called me,” said Jake. “That’s how I found her.” He was looking down now, staring at his feet, as if he couldn’t bear to meet her eye. “They said something was really wrong. She didn’t recognize me when I got to the station in Boston. It took her all day to remember who I was.”
“Has she been getting any better?”
“Not at all. She just roams aimlessly around the house. She won’t eat or talk. She won’t do anything. And you did this to her. I know you did. I don’t know how, but you destroyed her mind.”
“I didn’t mean to,” said Abby.
“I don’t care what you meant! Not anymore. After you fix her, I don’t want to ever see you again. Matilda was right. You don’t know how dangerous you are. All those years when Dad put you first, ignoring the rest of us like you were some sort of goddess. Well, I wish he were alive so I could tell him how wrong he was. Because you’re a monster in disguise. Now turn her back. I know you know how. Undo what you did. It’s the least you can do.”
He lurched toward her then, leaving Matilda staring at the floor, and dug his fingers into her jaw, moving her face until her eyes met his. “Do it, Abby! Do it now. She’s your mother too. You have to help.”
“I can’t,” said Abby. “I don’t know how.”
“She can barely talk,” said Jake, wrapping his fingers back around Abby’s wrists. She winced as his nails dug into her skin. “Her brain’s rotting away. The doctor said it was a stroke. But I know that’s not it because at night she screams. She screams and cries and calls out your name like she’s begging you to help her, begging you to make it stop.”
“I can’t fix her,” Abby whispered. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“You don’t know?” said Jake, pushing her aside, and stepping toward Matilda again.
“I should have left you out there to rot on the beach. Goddammit Abby, Dad was wrong. You aren’t special. You aren’t even good. And I’m through protecting you. I’m not helping you anymore. You should have gone to England like Mom said, because I’ve got news for you: they’re looking for you now. The airport, you know, they have surveillance tapes there. All those people you hurt when you opened your mouth— you’re gonna pay the price. You know that, right?”
“Has anyone been here?” said Abby, panic flooding her chest.
“Not yet, but they will be soon.”
“What about Brian?” said Abby, his name blooming on her lips. He’ll help me she thought. As long as he’s still alive.
“He’s dead, or brain dead at least. He’s at Beth Israel in a coma. It was all over yesterday’s news. And they’re looking for a girl. I know that it’s you. You hurt him too, isn’t that right? Well no one wants to help you. No one wants you around. Just go. Leave. Get out of here now. I’ll give you a five minute head start because you’re my sister, but then I’m gonna call it in.”
Jake’s voice broke, and he held in a sob, but he was already pushing her out the door.
“Jake!” cried Abby. “I need your help!” But he wasn’t listening; it was like he didn’t even hear. He reached around Abby and opened the door, then shoved her out into the cold morning air.
“Wait!” screamed Abby, but the door slammed in her face. Before it closed all the way she caught a glimpse of her mother— face blank as a slate, no fear anymore. It was a stranger’s face, empty of any emotion at all. “What have I done?” whispered Abby, her hands ripping through her hair. “Oh my god, what have I done?”
She was at Jake’s truck before she even knew what she was doing, searching behind the driver’s side wheel for the box where he kept his spare key.
Please don’t see me, she prayed, her bare feet already numb. Let me go with this, at least. Her brother, after locking himself out after football practice half a dozen times, had finally gotten smart and installed a key box that attached to the underside of his truck. Abby only hoped he hadn’t moved it yet.
She dug her hand up under the truck. She knew it was there; it had to be. She was shivering hard, but she ignored the cold. Five minutes, she thought. How much time is left? The ocean called to her, urging her home, but she ignored its pull and kept up her search, scratching her nails against metal and grit. “Got it,” she said. And it was in her hand. Come on, she thought, slipping the key into the lock. Then she yanked the door open and climbed inside.
It wasn’t until she was speeding toward the highway that she bothered to wonder why Jake hadn’t stoppe
d her. He must have seen what she was doing, and even if he hadn’t, he would have noticed the engine starting up. The pickup was over fifteen years old, and its engine was loud enough to hear inside the house. But when the reason hit her, she almost started to cry. No, she thought, but she knew it was true. It’s because he wanted you to have it. Eleanor must have told him to let you go.
22. Siren Song
Abby pulled onto 93, squinting through the morning sun as she made her way into Boston. It felt like it’d been years since she’d been on this highway, when really it’d been less than a day. Everything was moving too fast, yet she made herself focus on the road ahead, deftly navigating the morning traffic as she stomped on the gas, accelerating her speed. Get there, she thought. You have to get there now. She just had to hope she’d be waking up Brian, though she had an uneasy feeling it might be somebody else.
That’s why she helped you. That’s why she sent Jake. She couldn’t get inside you, so she needs you now. You’re the only one who can wake Hendrick up.
Panic charged through her, but she shoved it away. There was no way she was turning back now. “Just try,” she whispered. “You just have to try.” And so she headed into the city, as the Boston skyline rose in front of her, its buildings straining toward the sky.
Abby could feel the ocean welling behind her, its magical presence pulling her back. “No,” she hissed. She had to go forward; she couldn’t give in. And yet her body, her skin, her very breath was being tugged backward by the calling waves and the familiar moans buried inside the water. She crunched down on her cheek and held in a scream.
“Abby, Abby, come back to us now.” Abby slid her finger over the key that still hung around her neck. Its eye was open, and the metal was hot.
“No,” said Abby, her eyes on the road.
“Little sister.” Eleanor’s voice slipped through her mind, it’s nasally bird caw making her cringe. Then something was heating the inside of her jacket. Abby shoved her hand into her pocket and pulled out the feather, now red as blood.
“You tried to kill me,” said Abby, dropping the feather on the seat. It lay there, sucking the light out of the cab, quivering as Abby continued to speak. “And you murdered Brian, though I still don’t understand how. Did I leave your feather in his car when I made him leave me on the highway? Is that how you did it? How did you get in his head?”
“Something is different about your beloved,” said Eleanor, her voice like ice in Abby’s skull. Most humans must be sleeping for me to communicate with them, but I used the feather to speak to him when he was awake. That’s a trick that should work with our kind alone. No, there’s something unusual about his mind. But of course, little sister, I knew that already. It’s the reason I chose him as Hendrick’s host. To a certain extent, he can block Hendrick’s venom. But a siren can enter, I don’t yet know why.”
“So if Brian can fight off your snake, than maybe he’s still there. Maybe he hasn’t disappeared.”
“He can’t fight him forever,” croaked Eleanor. “But his soul sheath is stronger than any other human I’ve met. Stronger than I ever guessed. He should have already crumbled; Hendrick should be inside by now. And yet, your Brian still holds his own. Only know this little sister, and know it well: Brian can’t fend off Hendrick forever. Eventually my beloved will win. We just have to hope it’s before Brian’s body gives out. For once that is gone, we have lost them both.”
“His body’s dying?” choked Abby. “Is that what’s going on?”
“Yes,” Eleanor replied. “He was badly injured; there isn’t much time. But if you let me help you, I’ll show you the way. I’ll help you save him, whoever he is.”
No, thought Abby, not saying it aloud. I can’t trust you anymore. I don’t want your help.
“But you need it,” hissed Eleanor, sounding more snake than bird. “You need me little sister, if you want to bring him back. I’m the only one who can help you now. I’m the only one who knows the song.”
Abby sucked in her breath, unable to decide. Eleanor was right, she didn’t know the song. She’d just been planning on winging it, hoping the right words came out, that her body would somehow know what to do. But how could she trust the sea witch after all that had happened? And yet, she knew she couldn’t say no.
“It’s the only way,” said Eleanor, her voice stronger now. “You must learn a new song to draw out the sleep. Only then can our beloveds return.”
“I know why you’re helping me.” Abby’s voice came out flat. “You’ve been lying to me. Brian’s gone, isn’t that right? It’ll be Hendrick that I’m waking, if I do what you say.”
Silence. Had Eleanor disappeared? But then Abby felt something sharp in her chest, and a shard of uncertainty dug into her heart. “Oh,” she sighed, sucking in air. My god, she thought. Eleanor doesn’t know.
“You don’t know?” whispered Abby, saying it aloud. “You have no idea who it is?”
“Your beloved is strong, and I have grown weak. You used my song and almost destroyed me. Yet I can feel what is happening at the bottom of the cliff. I can hear their screams, though there is nothing I can do.”
“He’s screaming?” said Abby. “Is Brian in pain?”
“And Hendrick,” moaned Eleanor. “Both of them are.”
“You witch,” shrieked Abby, blood pounding in her ears. A chorus of horns blared off to her left, as she cut across traffic, accelerating her speed. “You selfish witch! What have you done!”
“Why, little sister, I could ask the same thing of you.” Abby cringed as the siren’s words seeped into her mind. But Eleanor was right, this was on her too. She was the one who’d made Brian part of all this. It was her carelessness that had gotten him involved.
“This is our chance to fix things,” said Eleanor. “We can save one of them; they both don’t have to die. Our spirit sisters are weakening. I feel it in my blood. If you don’t wake Brian’s body soon, it won’t matter who is housed in his spirit’s sheath. There will be nothing we can do.”
“Hendrick is inside him, pushing him out. But your beloved is so strong, I don’t know who will win. You must wake them up before all is lost. If I had your body, I would have done it by now.”
“But how can I trust you?” said Abby. “You tried to kill me before. And how do I know Hendrick hasn’t already won? Are you tricking me, sea witch? Is that what’s going on?”
“You know that I’m not,” said Eleanor, sounding farther away. “You already read it in my blood. But listen little sister, it’s all up to you. I cannot make you wake him. I cannot force this on you. Just know, if you choose to do nothing at all, then your beloved is gone. That much is certain.
Silence. Abby didn’t know what to do. But then Brian’s face flashed through her mind. His deep, kind eyes; smile aimed straight at her. She couldn’t just leave him even if that’s what he wanted. She refused to stand by and let him die. She’d just have to save him and find a way to stop his transformation, so that he wouldn’t become a serpent like Hendrick. So that he’d always stay a man. And if it was Hendrick she woke up instead of Brian, well that was a risk she’d have to take.
There’s a chance, thought Abby. There’s a chance he’s still there. But then she remembered the last time she’d seen Brian, when he’d begged her to kill him. No, to let him go. She knew she was being selfish, but she didn’t care. Her insides ached at the thought of him gone. I’m just like Eleanor, thought Abby. This is how Eleanor feels. This is what made her do what she did.
The feeling was so visceral, that she couldn’t move past it. She knew what had to be done.
“All right,” whispered Abby, gritting her teeth. Her jaw hurt from clenching it so tightly, and her body was starting to ache again. “How do I do it? What do I do?”
Suddenly, a melody cut through her mind— a lonesome song of winding rhythms, the notes soaring high then low again. “See na ki la talí day,” sang Eleanor, her words like a harness around Abby’s he
art. That’s it, thought Abby, singing along as the music seeped into her bones. Quickly, she veered onto Brookline Avenue. The hospital’s buildings loomed straight ahead. Brian, hold on. I’m coming, thought Abby. I’m almost there, and I’ll fix everything.
Black Waters (Book 1 in the Songstress Trilogy) Page 30