by Jan Moran
“I hope you do,” she said, stretching her fingertips toward his sleeve. “As a teenager, I rebelled against tradition. When I discovered I was pregnant, I thought it was time for me to do something for them. And that was to give them the grandchild they’d always wanted. They’d longed for a large family, but after I was born, my mother couldn’t have more children. I was their hope to continue the family.”
Vanessa paused and blinked back tears. “I’m sorry. I’ve always felt so guilty about keeping Leo from you. I thought I was independent, but now I realize we all have a greater connection. And we need that.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jack said. He spied a box of tissues and handed it to her. “That’s all in the past. You did what you thought was right at the time,” he said, though it pained him to say that. He would have liked to have had the opportunity to be in Leo’s young life. But it was too late to argue.
“I’m not saying what I did was right by you or Leo. I see that now. And that’s why I contacted you. Maybe it’s not too late to set things right.”
Jack considered this. Setting things right would upset his life, but a little boy’s life—no, his son’s life and emotional well-being—was at stake.
She shook her head through her tears. “After my parents died, I could have called you. But by then, I didn’t know what to say, and I thought you’d be upset. Or worse, that you might not care. So, I did nothing. I was chicken.”
Jack shook his head sharply. “I’d never use that word to describe you. What you did was incredibly brave and thoughtful. I was just some guy, but you tried to spare your parents and raise a child alone.” Jack couldn’t deny that he felt a twinge of male-ego resentment, but given the circumstances, he was a big boy. And, unlike the courageous women who sat before him, he’d survive.
“Thank you for saying that.” She turned her face up to his. “I told you it was complicated.”
The sound of children’s laughter floated through an open window.
“Sounds like the kids are in the backyard,” Vanessa said, nodding toward a pair of French doors on the side of the house. She pushed herself up and walked to the door. “Leo has grown so much in the last year.”
Jack joined her. Together, they gazed out, watching the children through an old chain link fence.
“Denise keeps the hedges trimmed low on their side so I can watch Leo play on the swing set with Samantha. Denise and John have been such good neighbors.”
“Are you close?”
“They moved in the year after Leo was born, so our children have grown up together. He’s going to miss Samantha.” Vanessa touched the glass. “The tech company John works for has been acquired, so they’re moving to Oregon at the end of the year.”
“About Leo,” Jack began, then hesitated. He didn’t want to rush her, but he wanted to know what she expected of him.
Vanessa looked up at him, her expressive, dark brown eyes looming large in her thin face. “He’s your son, Jack. You have a decision to make, but I can’t make it for you.”
Imani’s advice floated to mind. He had to know what her options were. “But if I don’t—”
“Mom, watch this,” Leo called out.
“I’m watching, mi hijo,” she said, lifting her voice, though it sounded strained. Yet she smiled bravely and waved, beaming at her son.
Leo pumped hard on the swing set, his brown hair ruffling in the wind, and then jumped off the swing, ending in a somersault and tumbling across the yard. He popped up, grinning. “Did it! Mom, did you see that?”
“I saw it, honey. That was great.” Vanessa clapped her hands and gave him a thumbs up. As she did, she wavered a little on her feet.
Standing behind Vanessa, Jack slid his hand under her forearm for support. She clutched his arm and looked up.
“Thanks. Sometimes I’m a little wobbly on my feet.”
“Maybe if you get some rest, you’ll regain your strength,” Jack said. “You could still beat this. There are a lot of new drugs…” He stopped when he saw the look in her eyes.
“I’m not one to give up, but I know when I’m beaten. I’ve had surgery and experimental drug treatments. My doctor advised me to organize my affairs and be comfortable for as long as I can. And when the time comes, and the pain is too great, I’ll go into hospice.”
Jack wiped his eyes and nodded. She had no other options. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
“I know what I’d like for Leo,” Vanessa said softly. “And I know it’s an awfully big ask. But it’s your decision to make.”
Leo raced to the chain-link fence and stuck in the toes of his athletic shoes, hoisting himself up. “Samantha’s mom is calling her for dinner.”
Vanessa tilted her chin up. “Come on home then. I have a friend I want you to meet. Don’t forget your skateboard.”
While Leo rushed to get his board, Vanessa turned to Jack and pressed her hands against his chest. Wordlessly, Jack brought his arms around her, and she shivered against him.
“I haven’t been held like this in so long,” she said. With a soft chuckle, she added. “Just don’t get any ideas again.”
Gently rubbing Vanessa’s back in comfort, Jack felt her fragile bones protruding beneath the large linen shirt she wore. That shirt had probably once fit her, he realized. The magnitude of her situation hit him, and he swallowed hard.
“Don’t worry about your son,” Jack said, and then corrected himself. “Our son. I want you to enjoy the time you have left with him.” He helped her back to the sofa, and as she was getting settled, Leo burst in with his skateboard under one arm, and a tin foil-covered Pyrex dish in the other.
“Samantha’s mom sent spaghetti tonight,” Leo said.
“Put it in the kitchen, and then come back. I want you to meet…” Vanessa shrugged. Leo had already dashed into the kitchen.
Jack had to admire the kid’s energy. At ten years old, the boy seemed tall for his age. Leo was solid, with a wavy flop of brown hair.
Like his, Jack realized. His son. His hand flew to his breast pocket again before he caught himself. He glanced at Vanessa and saw her shallow breaths.
Sobered, Jack let his hand fall. He rubbed his fingertips together to calm his nerves.
Leo rushed back into the living room and sat next to his mother. “Hi,” he said to Jack.
Vanessa hugged her son close. “This is an old friend of mine. Jack Ventana. He’s a reporter, and we worked together once.”
“Cool,” Leo said, sticking his hand out.
Shaking his son’s hand, Jack grinned. “You’ve got a good grip there. Saw you on your skateboard. Pretty smooth.”
“Thanks,” Leo said, pushing his hair back from his face.
Jack got a good look at the boy’s face. Leo had Vanessa’s dark brown eyes, but other than that, Jack could have been looking at a picture of himself at that age. He shot a look at Vanessa, and she nodded. She’d been raising a miniature replica of Jack. Nearly overwhelmed, Jack fumbled for a moment.
“Maybe you can stay for supper,” Vanessa said to Jack. “Denise always sends plenty.”
“Her meatballs are really good,” Leo said, leaning his head on his mother’s shoulder.
“Did Lupita leave a salad in the refrigerator?” she asked.
“Yeah, I saw it in there,” Leo said. “Want me to set the table?”
“I can help you with that,” Jack said, and Leo looked pleased.
Vanessa nodded. “Wash up first, mi hijo.”
Leo hugged his mother before jumping from the sofa and heading down the hallway.
Jack watched him go, still in awe that he had a son. He fumbled for the right words, yet mere words were inadequate for the magnitude of what he’d just experienced. Swallowing hard against his emotion, he simply said, “He seems like a good kid.”
“He’s the best.”
At supper, Jack sat across from Leo, still marveling at the boy’s existence and noticing every little detail about him. He also saw that Vanes
sa couldn’t eat much, and Leo doted on her. Jack could hardly keep his emotions reined in, and he fought against a lump in his throat throughout the meal.
“Jack, I’d sure like to see Summer Beach again,” Vanessa said. “It’s one of my favorite little beach towns. The waves for surfing are excellent.” She clasped Leo’s hand. “Since you want to try that, I think we should go for a visit soon.”
Leo’s smooth forehead wrinkled with concern. “We don’t have to, Mom.”
“I want to,” Vanessa said, speaking with urgency. “I want this for you. And don’t worry, I’ll be fine for a short trip.”
Jack wasn’t as confident. He could see the pain etched on Vanessa’s face, though she tried not to show it. As Vanessa suppressed a yawn, he rose from the table. “Leo, I’ll wash the dishes if you want to help your mom. It’s getting late.”
Vanessa shook her head. “I can manage just fine. You two visit in the kitchen.”
After Jack helped Vanessa from the table, he carried the dishes into the kitchen.
Leo tagged behind him with condiments, which he put into the refrigerator. Perching on a stool by the counter, Leo studied Jack. “You’ve known my mom for a while, right?”
“I have, and I’m really sorry she’s so sick.” Jack scraped food from the plates into the trash with slow, measured movements, focusing instead on Leo.
The boy jerked his foot back and forth in a nervous twitch. “Mom doesn’t know about this, but I heard her talking on the phone one day. I’d forgotten the phone she gave me to carry, so I came back for it. She kept mentioning your name.”
Jack grinned with studied nonchalance. “Hope it wasn’t too bad.”
“She was talking about hospice.” Leo spat out the word. “I know what that is. Are you here to take her away from me now? Tonight?”
Leo’s words were like a knife in the gut. Jack put down a plate, desperately seeking the right words, but there were none. Not in a situation like this.
“Not tonight,” he said. “But you’re a smart young man, and I think you know what’s ahead at some point.”
Leo ducked his head and nodded. His little face turned red, and Jack could tell the boy had bottled up his emotions. Without hesitation, Jack held his arms out to his son.
Looking confused, Leo scooted off the stool. But instead of stepping into Jack’s arms for comfort, the boy backed out of the kitchen, his face contorted with anger and grief. “No! I won’t let you take her. This is our home, and this is where we’re staying. Get out!” He turned and ran, slamming the door behind him.
Jack finished washing the dishes and walked in the direction of the bedrooms. Tapping on a door, he waited for a response. He eased open the door.
Vanessa was asleep on the bed. Leo was right beside her, also asleep.
He didn’t have the heart to wake her. Instead, he closed the door and let himself out. His heart ached for what Vanessa and Leo were going through.
At his car, Jack ripped a parking ticket from his windshield and got inside. Just when he’d thought that he and Leo were getting along well, Leo had snapped. The poor kid was under unimaginable stress.
A whirlwind of thoughts nagged Jack. Was he the best option for Leo? The boy would need a lot of grief counseling. As Jack started his car, he glanced back at the house.
Even if he were ready to take Leo into his life, would Leo ever accept him?
Chapter 10
“You’re giving up your apartment?” Kai asked.
“With the twins in college, I don’t need as much room,” Marina said, strolling beside her sister on the dock. She still wore her ankle sock, but the sprain was much improved.
Ivy and Bennett had invited them for the Open House at the Marina day, a fundraiser to support her friend Celia’s school music program. Marina had braided her sister’s thick blond hair, and they’d both put on tank tops and shorts to enjoy the sunshine.
“I’ve been renting forever,” Marina said, pausing by a boat owner selling fruit smoothies. “Housing prices rose so much faster than my income in San Francisco that I could never afford to buy in the city. My agent doubts if she can find work for me there, and I have to stretch my savings to pay college tuition.”
Kai slung her arm around Marina’s shoulder. “That’s a smart move. But won’t you miss San Francisco?”
“The kids and I had great times there,” Marina said. “We often ate clam chowder overlooking the bay or explored the botanical gardens in Golden Gate Park. It was such fun riding the cable cars to Union Square on the weekends. And we loved taking the ferry to Sausalito for the art festival. But that time has passed.” She felt a twinge of regret, but she had to be practical.
Marina and Kai waited in a short line to buy smoothies, admiring boats decorated with different themes. This boat owner was displaying vintage surfboards and blasting Beach Boys music. On another, a man was playing a jazz saxophone and offering New Orleans-style jambalaya. And at the end of the dock, Bennett’s boat was adorned with Hawaiian flowers and tiki torches.
While they waited, Kai hummed “Let It Go,” a song from Frozen. When it was their turn, Marina made a donation for two icy-cold, fruit smoothies. She was enjoying the sunshine and the slower place of Summer Beach.
“Ginger has managed to live here all these years,” Kai said, sipping her mango smoothie.
“She never really worked in Summer Beach, though,” Marina pointed out. “She left on assignments all the time. But next week, I’m going to make my debut at the farmers market.”
“Oh my gosh,” Kai said, sipping her smoothie. “You have to make that chocolate-cinnamon bread you made the other day.”
“And a lot more,” Marina replied.
Ahead, their grandmother stood by the mayor’s sleek vintage boat, waving to them. Ginger was chatting with Ivy, and Scout sat beside her. Two children were petting the dog. A crowd of people was milling around.
“It is just me, or is that dog grinning?” Marina asked.
“Like its owner,” Kai replied, laughing. “Have you ever noticed how many dogs look like their owners?”
“Oh, stop,” Marina said, though she chuckled along with her sister. “I wonder where Jack is? He’s been staying in his cottage a lot. Except for walking Scout in the mornings.”
Kai shot her a swift glance. “Look who’s keeping an eye on the cute tenant. I think you’re interested in him.”
“Hardly.” Marina poked her sister in the ribs. “He’s a writer, so that means he’s hard at work.”
“Welcome to the luau,” Ivy said, calling them over. “We’re grilling sliced pineapple and peaches with your choice of coconut ice cream or a side of shave ice.” She was wearing a Hawaiian sarong with a flower lei.
“Sounds yummy,” Kai said, pulling Marina toward the party.
“Leilani and Roy are the real hosts,” Bennett said, who was working the grill. “I’m just the grill master.”
Strains of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” sung by Hawaii’s beloved Iz, Israel Kamakawiwoʻole, filled the air, and Kai began singing along. Marina laughed and joined in. Soon, everyone was singing.
Bennett flourished a pair of tongs. “We also have some shrimp on the barbie with your choice of dipping sauces: cilantro and lime, sweet-and-smoky barbecue, sesame soy sauce. Homemade ice cream, too. Leilani’s mother’s recipes.”
Ivy introduced Leilani and Roy. Marina learned they spent part of the winter at Leilani’s family home in Kauai.
“So you’re Ginger’s granddaughter,” Leilani said with a smile. “We’re happy to meet you. We own The Hidden Garden in the village. I hope Ginger’s garden is doing well now.”
“As long as we can keep Mr. Happy Face out of it,” Marina said, motioning toward Scout.
Another couple Marina didn’t know stepped to one side. Behind them, she saw Jack kneeling by a little boy who looked just like him, and a little girl. She felt curiously drawn to Jack, but a lot of women probably were. Next to them was a lovely woman in a br
ight turban sitting in a wheelchair.
Jack glanced up at her.
“Hi, Jack. Great event.” Marina hadn’t seen much of him since they’d replanted the garden together. Recalling the conversation she’d overheard between Jack and Imani at the farmers market, she smiled. “Is this your son?”
A strange expression crossed Jack’s face that she couldn’t read. His face flushed and he seemed stricken.
“Uh, this is Leo and Samantha,” he managed to say. “And this is Leo’s mother, Vanessa.”
Oblivious to his reaction, the children looked up at her. “Hi,” they said.
The woman beside him in a wheelchair smiled weakly at her.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Marina said.
“And you, too,” Vanessa said. “The children are having such a wonderful time.”
A couple she didn’t know turned around. “Samantha is ours,” the woman said, smiling. “I’m Denise, and this is John.”
“How do you do?” John shook hands with Marina and Kai. “Vanessa and Leo are our neighbors. We’re all visiting from Santa Monica. And since we’re staying at the Seabreeze Inn, Ivy forced us to come.”
“How could we resist?” Denise said, tucking her arm through her husband’s. “I’ve been wondering why we don’t live here.”
“And this is Scout,” Leo said, petting Scout, who was still lapping up the attention. “I wish I had a dog like this.” He flung his arms around the dog and buried his face into the fur behind Scout’s ears. Scout sat patiently, nuzzling the boy.
“We know Scout,” Marina said. “He’s famous here.”
“Not always for the right reasons,” Jack said. “Have you seen the garden? The tomato plants have taken off.”
They spoke a little about the sweet pepper and cucumber plants, while Kai made a donation and came back with a plate laden with grilled shrimp, peaches, and pineapple.
“You have to try the pineapple with the sauces,” Kai said. “Oh my gosh, this is delicious.”
Marina dipped a slice of warm pineapple into one of the sauces. The smoky flavor with the natural fruit sweetness, combined with tart lime and cilantro, was a perfect blend. “Appetizer or dessert?” she mused.