by Alan Filewod
Colby: The trouble with people like you is you’re in love with the sizzle, not the steak. Well, it’s not like that. Real love is something you grow. It takes time, patience, devotion. Ten years goes by in a flash if you’re really in love.
Ted: Hey, heavy stuff. That’s beautiful! I mean, this is not like going for a chick we are talking about here, that’s for sure. You are really in L-U-V, love. (Sings) All you need is love rah-ta-da-ta-da!!
Colby: It hasn’t been easy … the way the world works today …
Ted: Never mind the world, man! Ten years of writing love letters? Fantastic! Go for it! Ah … say … you couldn’t spare a quarter, could you? I want to get a coffee to wash down this …
Colby: Go away.
Ted: Right. Got ya …
(A jet roars overhead. Underscoring starts to fade. Ted exits. Colby finishes writing his letter. As he writes he conjures up an image of Linda, as he once saw her on TV. Linda comes on and performs “Together Again,” she is in her 70s country period, well dressed, but with a down-home image. The growth of her professionalism is clear, and at one point during a musical break in the song she walks into the audience.)
Linda: Hi, what’s your name? (The audience member gives name) Thanks for coming. Remember, “Keep in touch.” (Linda continues the song till the end, playing the last verse to Colby. She exits. Colby finishes the letter)
Colby: I can’t see why you wouldn’t come, (pause) I hope you’re fine … Jacob.
(Action shifts back to the court.)
The Judge: Any questions, Mr Colby?
Colby: Yes, Your Honour, thank you. Miss Little, you’ve said I frighten you.
Little: Yes. That is correct.
Colby: Why? Have I ever done anything that has caused you to be afraid of me?
Little: I’m frightened when you come to the office.
Colby: Yes. I understand. But … why?
Little: Because you keep on coming back regardless of court orders.
Colby: But, aside from the issue of court orders, what personal conduct have I displayed that causes you to be afraid of me.
The Judge: Excuse me, Mr Colby. I’m having trouble following your argument. “Personal conduct?” How does this relate to the case?
Colby: I’m trying to establish two things, Your Honour. First, that there has never been any indication that any of my actions gave anybody cause to be afraid of me. Second, that there has never been any representation made by any office staff that anything I wished to leave was unacceptable.
The Judge: I see. Well, because you are defending yourself, I will allow you some latitude.
Colby: Thank you, Your Honour. I would like to ask the witness if she has ever personally declined a message to Linda.
Little: I have never personally declined a message from you, Mr Colby. I’d be afraid to.
Colby: But why?
Little: Because I think you’re crazy.
Colby: I’m crazy? So, you saw this crazy man you were afraid of lurking out in the hall. Between you and him there was a locked door, but instead of phoning the police you go to the door, unlock it, take a letter from this very frightening madman and say: “She’s in.”
Little: I didn’t say that, Mr Colby.
Colby: Was she in?
Little: That has nothing to do with …
Colby: She was in there and the reason that you took that letter from me instead of calling the police was that Linda told you to, didn’t she?
Little: The police said we should …
Colby: The police! the police weren’t called until after Linda read my letter and knew I was leaving town, with or without her.
Little: That’s not what happened.
Colby: Then why was I arrested at the airport? Could it be because Linda can’t get all this public attention focused on her and me if I’m back on the farm?
Little: It’s because she’s afraid of you!
Colby: Then why doesn’t she act like she’s afraid of me? Why does she take my letters and tell you to, as it were, “Let down the drawbridge”?
Little: You have no idea what it’s like to be afraid of someone, Mr Colby.
(Colby moves toward the audience.)
Colby: No further questions.
(mocking) I have no idea what it’s like to be afraid of someone! Her testimony is going to send me to the jail or the madhouse! Boy, I’ll tell you, the mercy of the Court has taught me a thing or two about fear.
Of course, all of this is peanuts compared to how I felt the first time I went to see Linda. I was scared to death! Tours! Parties in the afternoon! Was I ready to pursue that kind of relationship? A thousand goodbye scenes played out in airport waiting rooms? That’s what a courtship with Linda would be …
I sat there is the kitchen trying to measure the strength of my feelings. My crop was only half in and there were literally hundreds of things I had to do to get the farm ready for another winter. I sipped my tea … and looked at Linda’s picture smiling down at me from above the fridge … for an instant it seemed like the only sane thing to do was forget my dreams … then … at that precise moment … there she was on the radio.
(Music begins to resolve into “In Dreams.” Lights shift. Move into next fantasy sequence.)
Colby: Neither of us came from people who fly halfway across the country to go to a nightclub, she’d have to know how scary that would be for me. I guess I took it as a challenge. In the end I realized that love always tests your faith. If you don’t believe in something bigger than yourself … some thing on a higher plane, you fail. I went down to the bank, took out $800 I didn’t have and drove to the airport …(Sound effects: Jet flying overhead.) The next thing I knew, I was in Vancouver sitting in the Cave Theatre and Restaurant. (Lights come up on Linda, still in her folksy period. She sings the opening verses of “In Dreams” playing some of the song to Colby. The song deals with a love between two people being real in the singer’s dreams. During the musical bridge in the song Colby speaks.)
Colby: One moment I was just a face in the crowd, then our eyes met … You see before Linda, I wasn’t interested in popular music. I loved the songs of Schubert, but then the words, they were sounds and nothing else. But with Linda … a whole new world of poetry opened up for me. A world of symbols and sounds. We were together inside the “magic night.” The physical distance between us didn’t mean a thing. All we had to do was close our eyes and we were walking hand in hand. Together “in dreams.”
(The song ends. Linda exits. Underscoring with a slight circus feel comes up. Colby stands and pulls out a bouquet of roses. Just then Linda enters, and is button-holed by two reporters. The reporters’ questions are played on the synth and Linda responds)
Linda: The L.A. cancellation? No, it doesn’t bother me. All in all, the tour is doing great, (question) I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years. (question) Blue jeans? Well, I prefer something a little more romantic, like … (She turns and sees Colby. He holds out his bouquet) … roses.
Colby: Fresh-cut roses. I picked them right out of my own garden in “Wild Rose Country.”
(Linda looks at Colby and smiles.)
Linda: Roses. I love roses.
(Colby hands them to her.)
Colby: From a hay baler to a herring choker.
Linda: My garden back home is full of roses. Some nights it used to feel like paradise out there. (she sighs) But that was long ago.
Colby: Is something wrong?
Linda: No, it’s just that sometimes – things are going so fast – sometimes all I seem to have to keep me going are my dreams.
Colby: I know what you mean. My dreams are full of roses. And you.
Linda: That’s sweet. I love to dream …
Colby: To spread your wings and drift away into the magic night …
Linda: Maybe nothing else matters …
Together: (sung) “Nothing else matters, cause we’re together again.” (Linda smiles and squeezes his hand.)
&n
bsp; Linda: You know what? You’re really great. (She gives him a kiss. It’s a magic moment. Linda is gone, leaving Colby touching his lips in amazement. He calls after her.) Keep in touch.
Colby: I’ll send the wheat!
(Underscoring out. Lighting shifts. We’re back in court. Colby is staring off into space.)
The Judge: Mr Colby?
(Colby snaps back into reality.)
Colby: Your Honour, I would just like to point out that Miss Little has admitted she opened a locked door to take my letter. No one in Linda’s office has ever refused my letters or indicated by their behaviour they were afraid of me. To my way of thinking, this amounts to an implicit encouragement of my actions.
The Judge: Very well. Next witness.
The Crown: Sergeant Jones, please.
The Clerk: Sergeant William Jones, please.
(Jones enters.)
The Clerk: Hi, Bill.
Jones: Hi, Len. (Jones is sworn in.)
Colby: Jones is one of those men who automatically assumes that anyone who falls in love with “a star” must be a pea-brained idiot. ’Course, the only thing he’s in love with is his uniform.
(Jones takes the stand)
The Crown: Sergeant Jones, you are the officer in charge of the Colby investigation?
Jones: I am, sir.
Colby: Everything is black and white for Jones because he lacks the heart to see in colour.
The Crown: And on October 19, 1983, you were assigned to go to the Toronto International Airport to pick him up. Is that correct?
Jones: Ah … with the Court’s permission, I’d like to refer to my notebook … for the exact times.
The Judge: When did you make these notes?
Jones: During my investigation of Mr Colby.
The Judge: Have you changed them since?
Jones: Of course not. I just scribbled them down.
The Judge: (to Colby) Do you have any objection to the witness referring to his notebook?
Colby: No, Your Honour, (to audience) At least he’ll lie in complete sentences.
The Judge: Very well, you may use your notes to refresh your memory.
Jones: Thank you, You Honour. (He reads quickly) My partner and I arrived at the Toronto International Airport at 5:02 p.m. Parked on the Arrivals Level, Terminal Two. We found the accused adjacent to the Air Canada ticket counter. Suspect was very angry when we approached him. He called me a …
The Judge: Excuse me, Sergeant Jones. I said use the notes to refresh your memory. Do not give a recitation from your notes. You’re testifying, not reading us a novel.
Jones: Yes, Your Honour.
The Crown: And is the man you arrested in court today?
Jones: Yes, That’s him (indicating the accused).
The Crown: That is the substance of my case, Your Honour. Colby presented his letter to Miss Little at the Wylde Rose office. Miss Little took it and telephoned the police. The call was answered by Sergeant Jones. As Mr Colby was in breach of probation the officer went to the airport and arrested him. He has now identified Mr Colby in court today.
The Judge: You have no further questions?
The Crown: No, Your Honour. I’ve made my case.
The Judge: Mr Colby?
Colby: Sergeant Jones, do you recall the first arrest you made in regard to this matter of my attention towards Linda Barrie?
Jones: (checks notes) April 16th 1980. Yes, I have it here in my notes.
Colby: What was the charge?
Jones: Intimidation.
Colby: Is that a serious charge?
Jones: Of course it’s serious. People were frightened.
Colby: Well, if it was a serious charge, didn’t it warrant a serious investigation?
Jones: It received a serious investigation.
Colby: Who was I supposed to have intimidated?
Jones: Linda Barrie.
Colby: And what did Miss Barrie say when she was questioned?
Jones: You know I had no opportunity to talk to her personally.
Colby: So I was charged with a serious crime on the basis of hearsay evidence? Is that standard police procedure?
Jones: No. But …
The Crown: Your Honour, I can’t see what this line of questioning has to do with the case at hand.
Colby: Your Honour, I wish to petition the Court during summation that, in fact, my probation is unlawful, based on bias and incompetent police investigation.
The Crown: Your Honour, this is an absurd charge.
The Judge: Yes, but it is an interesting defence.
Colby: If I could cite a number of instances. I was originally charged with intimidation, even though the person I was said to have intimidated was never even questioned by the police. This charge was dismissed, but led to the original probation order against me. Subsequently I was charged for violation of probation on a number of occasions. This amounted to virtual harassment.
The Crown: Your Honour, there have been no instances of harassment against Mr Colby.
Colby: Last year, on February 17, I was acquitted on two charges and when I walked out of court … right outside these very doors, Your Honour, Sergeant Jones arrested me again!
Jones: Now hold on there … I …
Colby: Apparently I had broken probation merely by thinking of Linda, because she sure as heck wasn’t in the court.
Jones: The charges had been relaid, Your Honour.
The Judge: And why had they been dismissed, Sergeant Jones?
Jones: I don’t know the wording of the documents of the court, so I couldn’t say.
Colby: Isn’t it a fact that the cases were dismissed because you were so gung ho to arrest me that I was charged on a probation order that didn’t even exist?
Jones: It existed. Well, a new one existed. All I did was charge you under the old probation order that was no longer in effect.
Colby: Which is typical of the slipshod, biased work Sergeant Jones has done on this case from the word go.
The Crown: Your Honour, surely you aren’t going to let the accused turn a single instance of confused paperwork into a charge of police harassment.
Colby: That isn’t the only piece of confused paperwork we’re looking at, is it, Mr Broilman?
The Crown: Just what are you getting at?
Colby: To bring matters up to date, Your Honour – after this last arrest I went before Judge Richmond for a bail hearing. After three days of testimony the judge spent three more days in sober deliberation of the facts, he then gave me bail so I could go home and harvest my crop. The Crown then appealed my release, knowing full well I would be in Red Deer and unable to defend myself at the hearing. Sergeant Jones, how long did that second bail hearing last?
Jones: I don’t know.
The Judge: Well, then look it up. I’m sure you’ve got it somewhere.
(Jones checks his notes.)
Jones: 25 minutes.
Colby: Twenty-five minutes to overturn a decision that took the first learned Judge six full days to render! I just wonder what the crown prosecutor had to tell that Judge to get me slapped back in jail.
The Crown: What I had to tell the Judge is a matter of record, Your Honour. Essentially, I demonstrated that Judge Richmond had made an error in releasing Mr Colby and as a result a warrant was issued for his re-arrest!
Colby: Right, a warrant with a phoney charge pencilled in.
The Judge: A what?
Colby: The warrant that I was arrested on said I was wanted on an indictable offence. Both the Crown and Sergeant Jones knew the charge against me was a summary conviction.
The Crown: Your Honour, I don’t see how the charge on the warrant, even if it was mistaken, could possibly be seen as an example of harassment. There was a warrant for his re-arrest. It was served. He was returned to custody in Toronto by the RCMP.
Colby: I think Sergeant Jones could help clarify the advantages inherent in sending out a warrant on an indicatable offence, can’t you, Sergeant Jone
s?
Jones: There’s no advantage.
Colby: Oh, come on, Jones. You get two warrants, one for bank robbery and one for parking violations – which do you act on?
Jones: The robbery.
Colby: And the parking tickets?
Jones: I don’t do parking tickets.
Colby: But if you did … ?
Jones: I’d get around to it.
Colby: Exactly, you’d get around to it. What makes you think the RCMP in Red Deer would be any different? They get a warrant to pick up an indicted criminal and they move on it.. but to arrest a farmer in the middle of harvest over a minor probation violation … well, in your own words, “They’d get around to it.”
Jones: Your case is different than a warrant out on some guy who’s dodging parking tickets.
Colby: Not by much. You knew if the warrant read summary conviction it would go on the back burner and you couldn’t stand that, could you?
Jones: Are you saying I somehow faked that warrant so …
Colby: I’m saying that the RCMP dragged me out of my home in handcuffs. I’m saying half my crop was left in open bins and it got wet. It froze. I’m saying that “confused paperwork” cost me half my crop. We’re talking about big money here! We’re talking about my life! But you and Broilman couldn’t leave it alone, could you? You couldn’t just let me bring in my crop and prepare for my trial. No, you had to have me re-arrested so I wouldn’t bother a women who was living two thousand miles away! When I look at the way I’ve been treated only one word comes to mind: harassment. I call it harassment.
Jones: And I call it getting a dangerous nutcase off the streets. I don’t want another Mark Chapman on my hands.
The Judge: Sergeant Jones, are you admitting that a warrant was purposely falsified?
The Crown: Of course he isn’t! Your Honour, while Sergeant Jones perhaps overstates his case I feel that we must all understand his concern. Nevertheless, let me assure you that the natural worry over the safety of Ms Barrie has never overshadowed our sense of justice.
The Judge: Yes, well, obviously Mr Colby doesn’t agree.
Colby: I certainly don’t. My life is being wrecked, though it’s clear I am not the one to blame in the case. It is Linda Barrie who is creating the public mischief.
The Judge: Linda Barrie?