by Alan Filewod
Austra: I know exactly how you feel. The girl beside me in Harbord Collegiate – she’s so stuck-up. And she reads comics.
Aivars: Yeah? (He looks at Austra for the first time as if she’s not a child) Ak Austra. Tu esi tik jauna. Un skaista. [Oh, Austra, you are so young and so beautiful.]
Austra: I’m not so young.
(Aivars touches her knee. Laila smiles, standing behind them.)
Austra: (Embarrassed) CBC!
SCENE FIVE
(Full club. Herbie and Kennedy play spirited intro.)
Clem: Radio Slobvia reports from Lemon Krushki, Emperor of Russia, Grand Duke of Siberia and Guardian of Lower Slobovia: Our way of li-feniki, or elsenikoffski. Workers of the world unite, under me! You have nothing to lose but your shoes! Your shirts are at the Chinese laundry.
(More hilarity.)
SCENE SIX
(Laila enters Austra’s bedroom at night, carrying a candle. 1955. While she speaks, we see Aivars and Austra dancing on another level of the stage.)
Laila: (Mischievously) Austrina, are you asleep? Peekaboo I see you, the green goblins are coming to get you. (Listens) How you can sleep so quietly. I hear Gunārs snoring beside me, and Mamma snoring in the other room, snoring, snoring, it’s like the ocean. (Whispering) Austra come on, wake up. I’m gonna tickle your toesies. Wanna feel a little kick? This one is going to be a girl, Austra. She’s going to be an A-student, just like you. Tūteris’ daughter went off to marry some Canadian and be a Mrs Gordon Smith and eat Cheese Whiz and plastic sausages on a table without a tablecloth. But that won’t happen to you. I’ll betcha you’ll wake up if I say somebody’s name. (Teasingly) Aivars. (Louder) Aivars. (Turns on the light, The room is empty) Oh! Not again! Climbing out the window! You monkey!
SCENE SEVEN
(Loud Buddy Holly music, coming from a record player. Club in full force. Jekyll rushes in.)
Jekyll: This Columbia High Fidelity recording is scientifically designed.
(Aivars and Austra enter close to the audience and dance a combination of jive and Latvian folk frolic.)
Jekyll: If you are the owner of a new stereophonic system, this record will play with brilliant true-to-life fidelity. In short, you can purchase this record with no fear of its becoming obsolete in the future. Kee-rist! who spins this ephemera?!!
(Jekyll exits. Austra and Aivars exit. Jekyll returns, carrying the record. He breaks it over his knee.)
SCENE EIGHT
(Laila typing, wearing glasses, hair pushed up, 1959.)
Laila: This month it will be eight years we have been here. Gunārs dreams in English sometimes. What’s next.
(Austra enters in her folk costume, carrying a record, looking dejected.)
Laila: Austrina, what can I say to our cousins in Latvai.
Austra: Buddy Holly died.
Laila: Buddy Holly? That was in February! They want summer news.
Austra: (Emphatically) He died.
Laila: So he died? so what? (Austra makes a face behind her back. Laila makes a face when Austra exits without deigning to speak to her) Maza princesite [The little princess.] Austra says hi. She is very happy. Right after graduation, she found a job in a movie house box office, and even handed out leaflets as a Leslie Caron look-alike. That is a film star here in a film called Gigi. She is saving up money so she can go study to be a nurse, that is a good job. We just celebrated her twenty-first birthday: I gave her ten piano lessons with Zarinš and Aivars gave her a broom with a red handle. I think he wants to tell her something. I don’t mean to brag, you know, we are not like Egons Kronbergs who sent a picture of himself to Latvia with the caption: This is me and the fridge.
(Aivars enters from the direction of Austra’s room.)
Aivars: Austra is crying. I have never seen such tears. And over what, a popular singer.
Austra: (Offstage) He was an artist. An artist!
Aivars: Such passion. Such fire. It’s wonderful.
Laila: Yes, wonderful, unpredictable, she comes, she goes, and you better marry her before she disappears in the wind, caks [like that!]
Aivars: Marry her? … (Laila resumes typing) Marry her?
Laila: The photograph of the birch tree is on the wall and I smile at it every day.
Aivars: (Walking towards Austra’s room) Austrina …
(Austra appears in her coat, singing “Lai dzivo sveiks.” Laila and Aivars join her. Laila continues singing as Aivars speaks and Austra creeps away from them.)
Aivars: We two, as man and wife, we will be a small Latvian island. This isn’t America. This isn’t some melting pot. I am proud to be not only a Canadian, but also a Latvian Canadian –
(Club music starts for Jekyll’s poem. Aivars and Laila freeze as they realize Austra is gone. Aivars puts on his black hat and exits in the opposite direction to Austra. Laila watches Jekyll and Herbie, and as the poem progesses, starts to throw things at them – baby clothes, shoes, socks, whatever. The poem is very beat.)
Jekyll: Clem’s boys
Blazed
Away the night, Laila: Shhh!
And little wet-behind-the-ears
Cats
Flew singing
Off to pads
With beers and beds.
The rest of us
Blew,
Out of our minds,
Swinging Laila: Shut up!
In the cool red morning
Till the glow went out
With the street lamps. (“SESSION,” “f.a.c.” dated 1959)
(A shower of articles falls on Jekyll.)
Jekyll: Hey, what’s going on!?
Who?
Lady! Lady!
What is this
Personal
Ambush
when you know the world is going to go –
look, lady –
POP
will you put that thing DOWN
lady, what the heck
I live the life that Jack Kerouac imagines he lived
heck
it’s a drag to be an artist in this day and age but
we shrug as we look at our TV dinners and
Laila: I live the life that your heckuva Jack or John Wayne or bang bang I live that life of Zhivago but no vodka fun, I tell you, and now I am in this ugly stupid city this desert in a basement with canned foods with the jolly green giant, nuclear this, nuclear that, and you, you take my sister and you turn her into a walking nothing, a nothing, an emptiness. Zero. You’re so tough. Oyoyoy. Tip top tailors. Eh you are just a school boy in short pants.
(Austra walks onto the scene.)
Austra: My name is Austra Mednis. You must excuse me.
(Light change, Laila exits.)
SCENE NINE
(“Nervous” drums. Everyone is nervous – stylized movement throughout the scene.)
Clem: A man with a black hat
Austra: The man with the black hat
Jekyll: Watch out for the black hat
Band: Black Hat!
(Club, “Nervous” music. On bass lines of music, all look at door, relieved when the one who enters is Ruthie, carrying a part of a splendiferous costume [which she wears in the portrait-selling scene]. When the music ends, the physical rhythm continues.)
Ruthie: It’s like this: there’s a man with a black hat. He’s coming, he’s coming very soon. He will take something away. He’s slouching, yes I’m sure he’s slouching. (Asking her spirits) Could we persuade him to wait a month or two? Of course not. It’s like this, Clem: we’ve got to do something. Something, Clement, something. Sell something, borrow something, dig up some buried treasure. (To spirits) Oh don’t go away – (Sigh) It’s a bad connection. Something.
Clem: A man with a black hat. Ruthie said so. A man with a black hat will come and close the club. And I’ll be dragged off to debtors’ prison. The last of the Hambourgs. Sheriffs and bailiffs with mastiffs trailing, large yellow dogs with pink-rimmed eyes, slavering. Radio Slobovia reports the Decline of the British Empire.
They’ll take me to a small dark room, I can’t see through the windows because of the caked black grime and the red on the floor – aargh!
Jekyll: A man with a black hat following us on the way from Norm’s Grill. Was there? A hallucination of mine, the Godhead in the inner city, or perhaps an undercover cop. An innocent passerby. A cop, a member of the morality squad, a squinting squealing SCURVY square. Sheesh those guys they always wear black hats and grey flannel suits and they look like that arsehole whatchamacallit: Nixon.
Austra: Mr Clement, I am expecting a visitor, a man with a black hat. He can be of great help to you, to the club. He is well connected to financial circles, you can tell from his accent. I must confess he is in love with me. We’ve never met. We must disregard his flights of fancy and ask him for a loan. And then the House of Hambourg will be a new place with beige curtains and smoked mirrors on the wall and windows with light streaming in, windows overlooking the Mediterranean, the Bering Strait, the Red Sea –
Clement: A man with a black hat and a letter from the city to say we must go (With great dignity) oh pity us (anthem starts) who love the House of Hambourg so
(All rise to their feet. “House of Hambourg” anthem.)
Kennedy: The House of Hambourg is a beehive of boptivity.
Jekyll: The House of Hambourg is the ultimate fallout shelter.
Ruthie: The House of Hambourg is where people like to come.
Jekyll: The House of Hambourg. So show me another place!
Austra: The House of Hambourg is where a New Canadian goes to feel old.
Clement: The House of Hambourg. A home for black sheep music. Where Clement tells you: welcome.
SCENE TEN
(Door opens. Silhouette of a man with a black hat [Aivars]. No response from crowd. Sax sets a beat. All start simultaneous “Boptivity,” wild dance movement. Aivars enters, looking for Austra. Austra keeps eluding him. Frustrated, he throws his hat on the ground and sarcastically mimics the hipsters. Just as he is about to leave, he catches sight of his fiancée. The music stops. Jekyll hides, thinking Aivars is a narc.)
Clement: You have come for the House of Hambourg. Welcome, welcome. We have some fine musicians here, fine. The instruments are their own, of course, except the piano. Take the piano, you must do your job. The tablecloths, the chairs, you will want to take them too. Take everything away. We will not tackle you. There is just a matter of some portraits, programs, all framed and signed, I assure you their value is purely sentimental.
Aivars: I do not run an art gallery, mac.
Clem: Welcome, then, welcome. Take your time. Shirley will get you a roast beef sandwich and the boys will play anything you’d like to hear – go, Shirley, quick now –
Aivars: Shirley? Her name is Austra Mednis.
Austra: Mr Clement, this is my cousin. The man in the black hat.
Aivars: I am not her cousin. I am her fiancé.
(Jekyll pulls Aivars aside.)
Jekyll: Listen, mister, listen, I had nothing to do with it, I found the stuff in my pocket, you hook her up to a lie detector. I’m very busy. (Exits)
Austra: My cousin. He works in a bank. Mr Clement, I called him for you.
Clement: This is a case of mistaken identity. The young lady’s name is Shirley. How much money can she possibly owe you. You may confiscate my couch.
Aivars: I don’t want your couch. Or your table. Or the piano. A week she has been gone. I had just asked her to marry me. She said Yes. Why did you say yes.
Austra: Okay, swell, he is not my cousin. He asked me to marry him. I said yes. I went for a walk. Mr Clement, I heard your music from Cumberland Street. I climbed through the window.
Clem: How about a nice little tune – “Three Little Words”! They’re just itching to play –
(Suggestions come from the band – e.g. “Stella by Starlight,” “Misty.”)
Austra: Aivars. Please. This man is an artist. His club is in danger. You are assistant loans officer, and so I called you –
Aivars: Next time someone asks you, just say no.
Austra: You asked me to marry you. I said yes. You woke everybody up.
Aivars: We were happy.
Austra: I was happy for thirty minutes.
Clem: “Rhapsody in Blue” is my favourite piece.
Austra: Then you started to talk about the coming war, world communism, Bumbieris who’d built a fallout shelter at his cottage. I was wondering whether you would like a honeymoon in Tangiers.
Black Hat: “Night in Tunisia”!
Austra: I said I’m going for a walk. I didn’t know it would take so long.
Clem: Blow!
(Musicians begin jazz standard, “My Little Suede Shoes,” softly.)
Austra: Welcome to the House of Hambourg. Nothing has ever happened here before. No airplanes, no armies, no camps –
Aivars: No culture. You like this music? It’s great music. It’s not your it’s not even their music. It’s African music. They borrowed it without even asking permission. We have our own music. It is 2,000 years old. (Musicians stop playing. Aivars addresses them) She wants something new, I buy it for her. She wants music, we go to the symphony. I buy her records, Buddy Holly. She wants poetry, I give her poems. Austra, you know the latest, Sodums in Stockholm has published his translation of Ulysses. Ten years it takes him to translate James Joyce into Latvian after work every day. That guy Sodums made his 60-year-old mother type the manuscript from beginning to end three times. It weighs several kilo.
Austra: So, Mr Clement, view the situation. The man with the black hat. A real gone cat with his hands in his pockets. You talk to him, you make a deal.
Clement: Shirley is the best waitress we have ever had.
(To Austra’s chagrin, Clement exits, refusing to involve himself.)
Aivars: You want me to arrange a loan for this kind gentleman. Your friend he has been here all his life, and he needs me for a loan? So why does my Austra want to help him so much. Is she a beatnik now?
Austra: I don’t want to marry a man who looks like a dentist and have children who will die in the next war.
Aivars: So who looks like a dentist?? (Pointing at Herbie) He looks like a dentist. Don’t marry him.
Austra: (Wavering) Mr Clement is a European, Aivars. You would like him.
Aivars: Listen to me, Austra, I don’t care about this Clement. If you want a loan for him – OK I can help. For you. No strings. I will not beg you to come back or offer to play jazz records to our babies. You can phone me at the bank. Sveiki. [Bye.]
(Alivars exits. Austra turns and looks at the Musicians. They heave a great breath, move as if about to play, but they don’t. She slowly goes up the stairs to Clement’s room.)
Austra: Mr Clement, I have to talk to you. (She exits.)
SCENE ELEVEN
(The Musicians rush to the door. They exit as Ruthie enters wearing her fabulous “roaring twenties” style stripper’s costume. She sits down at the piano and picks out “Lullaby of Birdland.” Austra exits from above and runs down the stairs, grabs a coat behind the door, looks around the club as if saying goodbye. Sees Ruthie)
Austra: I’m just going for a walk.
(Austra exits. Ruthie looks at the audience.)
Ruthie: Could we talk business for a minute? He’s upstairs in his room, we can’t go there just now. Looking at them all: the photographs, the posters, the caricatures. Concert programs. Wall to wall, all framed. And autographed. That’s right. They used to hang in the front hall of the Conservatory. He’s standing there looking right at them. And they’re looking right back. (She looks around at the imaginary room) Arturo Toscanini over there. The great Chaliapin there. And Schönberg. What a nice man.
(Ruthie gets up and Black Hat takes over on the piano)
Ruthie: The big house in that picture is the Hambourg Conservatory of Music. They came here from Moscow in 1910. In those days, it was like moving to Borneo. There’s Catherine, Clem’s mother. Michael Hambourg, the pater
familias. “We Brought Music to Canada.” Look – (conducting movement) like Clem, huh? Mark Hambourg, the famous one. Six years old, when he played for the Czar. Clem loved Mark so. “Never Play Down to an Audience!” Jan Hambourg, with his violin, and the red satin jacket. He was a little more relaxed. He had a parrot, Coco, could sing the Kreisler Liebeslied, fancy that. And of course, Boris and his cello and the Hart House Quartet. Boris died five years ago and … we don’t see him much. There’s the bunch of them: Mark, Jan and Boris. Clem played with them once – see, in this picture.
Ruthie: He was the youngest. You know what that means. Why can’t you be like. Never as good as. They took one look at his red baby face the day he was born and said never as good as. They knew to say that. To look at his pudgy fists and shake their heads. (Looking down at her dress) These seams if they’re not double-stitched this costume will give right away in the middle of that performance and once it’s given away you’ve given everything. Yes, they’re very special pictures. Stravinsky, Ravel, Kreisler, Menuhin. “To Clement Hambourg, my esteemed friend and companion,” that’s what they say. If the light is right and you squint just a little. Really they’re to Michael, to Mark, to Boris. But they should be to Clem. He’s one of them. They don’t admit it, but he is. He’s been a genius all along. He’s never played down to an audience. They should be. To Clem, to Clem, to Clem. We could walk in on him right now and he wouldn’t even notice. Take a little portrait from the corner – oh say the one from Anna Pavlova’s big ballet show in the twenties. I’ll make you an offer. Just you. You understand, under the circumstances. You can have it for 500 dollars, it’s a deal. The frame alone is a bargain. And you don’t have to go to Buffalo to get one.
(Clem appears at the top of the stairs.)
Ruthie: Don’t be angry.
Clem: She came to the room, Ruthie, the door was unlocked, I spoke sharply, and I frightened her away.
Ruthie: They didn’t want to buy it anyway.