by T. S. Joyce
“Why are you asking about bonds?” Muriel asked from right behind her.
Reese yelped and stumbled forward into Samantha. “Muriel, what the hell? You’re pregnant and banished to the safe edges of this burn pile.”
Muriel’s dark eyebrow arched up and her face dropped to a mask of utter seriousness. “Why are you asking about Ethan and bonds, Reese?”
Lying was out of the question because they could hear the dishonest notes in her voice if she tried. Pleading the fifth was the next best thing. Pursing her lips, she turned and pulled a plank of wood off the partial staircase that was still barely standing.
“Did you bond with him? Did he bond with you? You were together for an hour, Reese. How could this happen?”
“Stop it,” Reese growled as red fury filled her veins. “It’s not something I planned. He was nice to me. I know you don’t like him, but I didn’t feel any danger from him. He came over to my house to check on me and…I like him.”
“Well, you would if you bonded. Now you don’t have any choice in the matter and he’s ruined you for anyone else. Reese,” Muriel snapped, “I wanted you to move on, but not with another man who will hurt you.”
“What are you talking about?” Sam asked, straightening her spine and dropping a pile of rubble.
“Sam, you weren’t here to see the way it was with Trent and Reese,” Muriel told her. “I was.” She shifted her attention back to Reese and narrowed her eyes. “And as much as I loved Trent, he wasn’t right for you. He hadn’t been for years and you held onto him, waiting for him to come around. I admired you for it, because anyone with eyes could see how much you loved him, and how loyal you were to him. But he only called you when it suited him and that man was never going to settle down with you. You deserved better. You should’ve moved on a long time before he passed away. He dragged you through his commitment issues for years and it wasn’t fair to you, or to any man who would’ve suited you better.”
With every word Muriel spoke, Reese felt darker and emptier inside. Was that how she saw her? Latched onto Trent like some pathetic barnacle? “You don’t know what it was like, Muriel! I’d been with him since we were kids. I loved him. I was there when his dad died and when he was being raised by Bron. I was there for him during everything he went through. Don’t you think I know he didn’t feel the same? Don’t you think I could feel him ripping his heart away from me? He told me to date other people, and he said it with a straight face, and when I did to get a rise out of him, he gave me nothing. His ambivalence didn’t change my heart though!”
“Well, here is your chance to do it differently. Pick someone who will take care of your needs, Reese,” Muriel said, her green eyes pleading. “Ethan is missing that chip that lets him connect. Don’t fall for the same relationship again.”
Tears of frustration burned her eyes and she blinked them away. “It’s too late now, isn’t it? Could you undo the bond with Logan? If you wanted to, and if you tried for a year, could you break it?” God, why was she defending Ethan? She didn’t even know him, clearly. “I’m scared and confused and I came to you for advice, and you’re telling me to forget about him like it’s so easy to undo what happened to us. Tell me how. You’re a medicine woman, Muriel. Tell me how to tear my feelings away from him. Give me a potion that will erase how I feel and I’ll take it. I feel good when I’m around him, but you’ve told me he is no good for me. What am I supposed to do with this?”
Muriel opened her mouth to speak, but Samantha slashed her hand through the air. “Stop it right now, both of you. Muriel, not another word. You listen to me, Reese. If you don’t feel threatened, and if he makes you feel good, if he makes you feel more like yourself after everything you’ve been through, then you owe it to yourself to call him and see what this is about. If Bron had listened to every single person in his clan blasting me for being human, we wouldn’t be together. Muriel, I know you have bad feelings about Ethan from your time living near him, but it’s been six years. You and I both know that’s plenty of time for a man to change. And you have to consider the fact that the bond only happened because you were both ready, and your bears are compatible. They chose each other. I don’t know why this has happened, and frankly, the reasons don’t matter. You can’t ask why or how about love. It just is.”
“I don’t dislike him,” Muriel said softly. “I just want to see you happy.”
“What should I do?” Reese said, sinking down onto the bottom singed stair step. “I feel out of control of my thoughts. He’s called me twice and told me to call him if I ever needed him. It’s been so hard not to call him back just to see if he’s going through the same. He tried to warn me, like he knew what was going to happen and I just ignored him. I just wanted something to numb the pain of Trent’s passing. I know what Trent and I had probably didn’t look real or special to you guys, but he was all I knew. I haven’t been with another man. Not until now, and this happened.”
“He called you?” Muriel asked in a small voice.
Reese nodded. “After we were together, he asked to take me out on a date. Whatever I wanted to do, he said he just wanted to spend some time with me. I got scared and kicked him out of my house instead.”
“Jesus,” Sam breathed, pulling her up and into a hug. “Well, after what you’ve been through, a surprise bond would scare anyone.”
“Reese?” Muriel asked. “The Ethan I knew would’ve never called a girl and told her he was there to talk. He wouldn’t have been interested in taking her out either. I think I misspoke earlier. I don’t really know Ethan anymore. I just had this vision of who he used to be, and the boy I knew scared me and everyone in the clan. I was just afraid he would hurt you, but it wasn’t my place to tell you he isn’t right for you. You should go see him and at least talk about what happened between you two. Everyone said Logan wasn’t right for me, and I defied them. And now I’m happier than ever. I should’ve known better than to talk against a man you’re interested in. I’m sorry.” Muriel wrapped her arms around her and Sam, and though her belly got in the way, it felt good to have the argument done with.
“You think I should talk to him?”
Muriel heaved a lingering sigh. “I do. You deserve to find happiness. If there is even a tiny chance Ethan the Maniac Bear is your Logan—”
“Or your Bron,” Sam chimed in.
“Then you should at least see what he is about.” Muriel squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. “And who knows? Maybe Ethan and his bear are perfectly tame now.”
Chapter Seven
This was a bad idea.
Reese’s brakes to her jacked-up, mud-covered jet gray truck whined as she pressed the pedal down to the floorboard. Ethan’s camp was bustling with activity. Families scurried home after a long day of work, two fire pits donned blazing flames while a handful of shifters sat around them in deep conversation. Laughter rang out and a couple of kids ran out of the main tent toward the cabins.
Reese cut the engine. She should’ve just called. Coming out here was a terrible plan. Why had it seemed like the only way after talking to the girls? Now, she was right at the heart of a rival clan. Alone.
“Hey!” Rieland yelled, her stern voice echoing through the ranger camp. “What are you doing here?” The shorter woman approached with her arms crossed and a frown so deep over her hazel eyes, it had to hurt her face. She’d probably be pretty if she smiled more and snarled less. “This wasn’t an open invitation, bitch. You had your meeting with Ethan, now go back to your own people.”
Reese gripped the wheel and stifled the urge to reach through the open window and choke the fuming woman. She couldn’t afford to fight with no back up though. Was she reckless? Sometimes. But she wasn’t stupid and she sure as shit wasn’t going to be baited by some half-pint pissed off troll-doll.
“I need to speak with Ethan,” Reese gritted out as calmly as she could muster.
“Well, he doesn’t need to speak to you. Are you deaf? I told you to leave, and I don’t
like repeating myself.”
“Rieland!” a man called out. “Back off her.” In the evening shadows, the man she recognized from the lookout tower jogged toward her, illuminated on one side by a fire pit some distance off. As he approached, he offered her a two fingered wave and turned a glower onto Rieland. “That’s no way to treat a visitor.”
“It’s exactly the way to treat an unwelcome visitor. Butt out, Jesse. I have this handled, and as second—”
“Don’t give me that second in the clan bullshit. Challenges aren’t over yet. And even if you did secure it, Ethan would be pissed if he found out you were shooing away his…Reese.” He shifted a green-eyed gaze to her. “You are Reese Evans, right?”
“Uh, yeah.” His Reese? Maybe all the shifters here were off their rockers.
“Ethan isn’t here. He’s got an overnight shift up at the tower. You can go up there if you’re determined. If not, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest.”
“Okay,” she said, frowning in the direction of the road that led to the ranger tower. Maybe she could remember how to get there. She didn’t really think she’d have the balls to come back tomorrow. It was tonight, while she still had her nerve, or never.
“You’ve lost your damned mind,” Rieland spat out. “You’re going to trust her with him up in that tower?”
Jesse’s face was an experiment in irritation. “Why would I care? In case you haven’t noticed, Ethan is alpha and certainly capable of making his own decisions on who he has a conversation with.”
“Fine.” Rieland’s mouse brown eyebrow arched up. “I’m going with her.”
Jesse sighed and said, “I challenge you.”
“What?” Rieland growled.
Jesse flicked his fingers in a subtle shooing gesture at Reese, then pulled his shirt over his head. “Let’s do this, Rieland. My boy is waiting on dinner and I don’t have all night. I challenge you for second.”
An ugly little screech left the tiny woman’s lips and Reese steered the truck toward the tower road while she tried not to laugh. She didn’t know Jesse, but anyone who went head to head with that tiny terminator was a friend of hers. Hunching under the sound of a grizzly’s roar that whooshed in through her open window, she drove the truck through the tree line.
A raccoon skittered across the road in front of her headlights, and she slowed to let it pass. The night was still and cool and the leaves above barely whispered in the soft breeze. Wild grasses, brush and moss-covered tree trunks lined the road. She came to several forks in the road, but from what she remembered, Ethan had driven straight through on the main to get to the campsite.
The tower was some distance off the road, so she drove slowly and squinted into the darkness. Just as she thought she’d missed it and better double back, a light shone through the darkness up ahead. She parked beside Ethan’s green Bronco and stepped onto a stone walkway that led to a set of stairs.
The wind picked up as she hit the first flight, but for the life of her, she couldn’t tell if it was urging her forward or back. And it wasn’t until she reached the top platform, fifty feet above the ground, that she realized she hadn’t rehearsed what she was going to say to him.
She knocked softly, then wiped her damp palms against her jeans.
“Come in,” a terse, deep voice boomed from inside.
The metal door shrieked a shrill sound that made her ears ring as she opened it. Ethan stood with his back to her, leaned against locked elbows over a table with several maps. He wore a solid black T-shirt over green cargo pants that were tight against his backside, and loose at his work boots. His triceps flexed as he moved to mark something with a pen.
“Tell me the coordinates,” he ordered.
She thought he was talking to her, but when she opened her mouth to ask him what the hell he was talking about, another voice came over a phone Ethan had apparently set to speaker. A masculine voice rattled off several numbers.
“Okay, we’ll take the eastern grid next,” Ethan said. He slid a quick glance over his shoulder and froze, his eyes reflecting like an animal’s in the light. He straightened and faced her. With a twitch of his head, he said, “Unger, call me back when you’ve done the next row. We’re getting close to him. I want to know the second he’s found.”
“Yes, sir.” The line went dead and Ethan twisted to return the phone to its cradle.
“Hi,” she said as heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks.
“Hey,” he said with a tentative smile. Leaning back, he rested on the table of maps, like he didn’t want to approach and scare her.
That didn’t matter though. The room smelled strongly of bear and something heavy weighed her down the farther into the room she stepped. Bron did this sometimes too, when he was angry or hurt. She couldn’t think of any reason why Ethan, who was in the safety of the tower, was bleeding dominance though. There was no one here to posture in front of. There was nothing here to threaten him enough to have his eyes blazing silver.
Fighting the instinct to flee, she closed the door softly behind her and dropped her gaze to the toe of his boot, like the wise woman she was. “What’s wrong with your bear?”
“Does he scare you?”
“Yes. Sometimes. You didn’t answer my question.”
He stared out the window beside him for so long, she thought he wouldn’t answer. She couldn’t deal with the closed off secretiveness again. She’d done that with Trent, and it had hurt her.
As she turned to leave, he said, “Wait. Before I tell you anything about myself, I have to know you won’t run.”
“What does it matter? You don’t even know—”
“You can’t use that as an excuse either. I’ll get to know you, and you’ll see who I am. Hear me out and try to understand where I’m coming from before you make the decision to leave.”
“Okay.”
“I want to take you out.” Head canted, he stared openly at her, as if daring her to look away.
“I came here tonight to ask if you wanted to go to dinner in town. With me. Together,” she said, stumbling over her words. “I heard you were dangerous, and I wanted to find out for myself.”
“I am dangerous,” he said without missing a beat. “You should know that before we go any farther.”
“Will you hurt me?”
He shook his head slightly, eyes never releasing hers. “Never.”
“But you’re dangerous to others?”
“Sometimes.”
Okay, he was alpha and he hadn’t got to this position without fighting every challenger in his clan. He wouldn’t have been able to climb the ranks if he wasn’t dangerous.
“I can’t go out with you tonight. I have to work here.”
“Right,” she said, reaching for the door. “You can call me and we’ll set it up for some other time.” Why were her words falling all over each other and why in damnation were her cheeks on fire?
“Stop,” he drawled, approaching her steadily. He closed the door she’d opened a crack and inhaled slowly. “Stay here with me.”
“Bad idea, danger bear. The last time we spent more than thirty seconds alone, I’m pretty sure you bonded with me.”
His silver eyes flew wide. “You felt it too?”
“Like a mac truck. I owe you an apology for how I reacted. You tried to warn me and I ignored you. And then I freaked out like a psycho and cried and oh God, I’m going to stop talking now. Just…I’m sorry.”
His nostrils flared slightly and he studied the door. “I…”
He seemed to struggle with his words, so she said, “The last man I was with never told me what he really thought. Maybe not ever. I won’t run, Ethan. Just tell me what you’re thinking.”
He cast her a troubled gaze, and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth. “Want to touch you. You smell good. I wonder what kind of panties you’re wearing. I want to hurt Trent for not taking better care of you. I’m sad that he’s gone and his loss hurts you.
I thought you’d never talk to me again. I want to feed you because I can hear your stomach growling. It’s uncomfortable doing nothing when you need something.”
Somewhere in the middle of his admissions, Reese’s mouth had dropped open.
Ethan sighed a sound that mimicked utter frustration and ran his hands through his hair until it stuck up in all different directions. “I don’t know how to talk to you.”
Clearly. “I am hungry,” she admitted, unsure of what else to address. The smell of bear was only growing thicker. Soon, she’d have to open a damned window just so she could relieve the weight of his dominance and breathe comfortably again.
“Good,” he said, but his voice had dipped to a gravelly, inhuman tone. He hooked his hands onto his hips and the gesture displayed the taut musculature of his arms. Across the right one were long silver scars.
Shyly, she reached out and ran her finger down the biggest one, but his shoulders shook in a curious shiver. When she looked up, he’d closed his eyes and now, the smell of bear was less.
Reassured that her touch helped, she stepped closer and brushed her finger down the second scar. Ethan dropped his chin to his chest, and when he opened his eyes, they were dark again.
Shuffling closer, she ran her hands through his mussed hair. A soft rumbling sounded from his throat. “What’s wrong with him?” she murmured.
Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her hands slowly down until they rested on the impossibly hard planes of his chest. “Nothing is wrong with him, Reese. He’s just different from your bear.”
“How so?”
He made a clicking sound behind his teeth and twitched his head. The soft vibration in his throat had ceased and the air was growing heavy again. The leg of a desk seemed to hold his attention, but if he couldn’t share this with her, how could they ever trust the bond they’d forged?
“Ethan,” she whispered. “I won’t run. I promise.”
His lip curled over his straight, white teeth and his eyes tinged with sterling around the edges again.