by Simone Elise
Laying Autumn in the bed room she was basically struggling to keep her eyes open. I pulled the blankets over her. Kissing her on the forehead. I loved her. I knew that. How I just fucked her raw in the shower wasn’t really acceptable but fuck did I feel better.
Till my stomach turned. How the hell was I going to tell Hawk that we had a rat? I watched Autumn sleep and the weight of what to do next was heavy on my shoulders.
If someone opened their mouth, I’d be looking at the injection along with half of the table members.
We needed to find out who was informing. But as I rolled a cigarette. How could we know who to trust and who not to?
Vod? Lit? Wild? Jacob? Were they loyal? And in that moment. I didn’t have a answer.
Chapter 18
CAGE
Hawk’s hands formed into fists. “So this is why you asked for a closed sit down?” he hissed. Now understanding why I insisted on it just being him and I as I told we had a rat at the club.
“The growth houses, the brothel shut downs.” I recalled a few things that had happened in the past month. “All these things, someone at the table knows about.” I locked eyes with him. “We can’t trust anyone Prez. Not when our lives are on the line. This isn’t just about the club. This about Autumn as well. Who will care for her if we are all executed? We need to find the rat.”
“What do you suggest?”
“I’ve been thinking and I can’t seem to come up with a plan.” I ran my hand down my chin. “We could feed each one a story, see which one surfaces but that will take time and we don’t have time.”
Hawk and I shared a look. If the informant knows about our earners that means they would know the dirty deeds on the club. We were all screwed if this turned south. But how could we flush out someone when everyone at the table we had trusted?
JACOB
No one is perfect. I knew that. My family was far from the American dream. My dad tasted death for not being able to handle the drugs and lifestyle. My Mom died at the hands of the lifestyle as well. Whip lash back on the club.
In the end I knew this lifestyle would cost me my freedom and life. But what if everything I knew wasn’t the truth. What if what I thought I knew- wasn’t the case. Something like your parents death you accept it, in time.
However, what if that wasn’t the case? My eyes ran over the cheap motel. She had to be here. I had tracked her down. Finally. A part of me was nervous another half of me was pissed off that I was. Because she wasn’t really going to be here. How could she be?
I walked past the motel doors, finally coming to the one that the private detective had given me. Bringing my fist to the door I knocked and stood slightly away from the window, so they couldn’t see who I was.
I heard movement on the other side of the door and it ran through my head. Is this really happening? I don’t know what I was expecting but when that door opened everything changed, even though I should have been slightly prepared for it. My eyes locked with hers- and I realized then, I was far from prepared from my suspicions being confirmed.
My eyes locked with my mother’s and it was confirmed, she wasn’t dead.
Chapter 19
Autumn
Groceries. It was the pain of being in charge of the kitchen. Sure I wasn’t cooking as much but I still had to help out and the women couldn’t be trusted with club money. So it fell on my shoulders to make sure there was food to feed the extremely angry bikers at the moment.
Something was going on with them, and Cage was keeping his mouth shut. Something about not wanting to bring me into the problem.
I had bailed them out with the cash I had sitting in an account. As far as I was concerned it was just cash that the club had rights to having. So, I wasn’t really bothered when the table of members approached me about a loan.
I didn’t see it as a loan.
The club was family.
I was putting the groceries in the back of the car when someone tapped me on my shoulder.
You have to be fucking kidding me. I wanted to tell her to fuck off. Considering last time she had tracked me down at the market as well.
“What do you want?” I hissed closing the door of my car. “Got another file to drop on me?” I sneered at the detective.
They flashed their badges and then one gripped my hand. “Autumn Watson you are under arrest for the trafficking of drugs through gyms.” And I was then pushed against my car.
What the fuck?
They read me my rights before I was forced into the back of a police van. My heart pulsating. This was happening. And as I looked out the window of the cop van, through the barred window, I knew my life was about to change. I watched my car, and the life I had moments ago disappear as we drove away from it.
Sitting in a interview room they laid out their case against me. How they knew so many details about my operation? I didn’t know. But they did and now what Hawk was afraid of happening was happening.
I knew I couldn’t go home from this. I couldn’t lie and say I had nothing to do with it. They had pictures, statements and an informer who had fed them the details.
“So Autumn, you are looking between four to eight years for this crime.” The lady detective the same one that slept with Cage, pushed a piece of paper towards me. “But of course there are other options to handle this.”
I scoffed. “Not turning on the club.” I locked eyes with her. “I die and live a vulture associate. You can’t flip me.”
The two detectives shared a look. “Perhaps you should look at the deal?”
I glanced at the piece of paper. My hands cuffed to the table. I read it, and my eyes widened.
They couldn’t seriously be offering me this! I looked up, shocked that was their angle, that was what they wanted? Why were they looking at me like I was going to accept it?
But then I realized they had sweetened the deal to my taste buds.
“As you can see Autumn, you’ll still be able to die a Vulture Associate,” the detective smirked.
Life fucking decisions. Like I had thought earlier today when they arrested me. There was no coming back from this. There was no bright fresh tomorrow. This would taint the life I live forever.
Chapter 20
CAGE
Fucking flushing this rat out, had become my focus. Till securing a new dock contact. Which resulted in me leaving town for two days- trying to apply the right amount of pressure to get control of the docks again.
In the end it worked.
We had a contact at the dock. Now we could get our shipments moving back. It was a typical Friday night as I walked into the clubhouse. And even though we weren’t really earning, that didn’t mean the parties stopped.
Walking to the bar I got a bourbon and then scanned the club for her. I hadn’t been able to reach out to her. I knew I was in for a grilling for disappearing on her. I just hoped that Hawk had my back while I was gone and explained to her it was club business.
I called her once. She hadn’t answered. I knew she was pissed off.
Spotting Hawk, I walked towards him. “How’s she been?” I asked, sliding into the booth. He frowned, looking at me like I had just spoken another language.
“What you going on about boy?”
“Autumn?” Wasn’t that obvious? “How’s she been?” I repeated my question. Knowing that only one man would have got to have a conversation with her. Jacob was still missing in action.
He disappeared from club eye a week ago. Everyone was thinking he was on a bender.
“She was with you, wasn’t she?” Hawk said, sounding concerned.
“No, she wasn’t with me.” Hold on a fucking second. “You telling me Autumn hasn’t been here? You haven’t seen her? Since I left?”
Hawk cursed pulling his phone out. Fuck that! I was tracking her phone.
Why the hell would she disappear from the club’s eyes? Not to mention not tell me where she was! I knew I hadn’t been around but still she should have fucking told someon
e where she was.
The worst-case scenarios ran through my head. Did the South Street Gangsters kidnap her? Was she dead somewhere? As these thoughts ran through my head I went cold out of fear, while tracking her phone. Only for it to come up no signal.
Where ever she was- her phone wasn’t turned on and on top of that, she had been missing for two days.
Fuck.
Autumn
I wasn’t a church goer. I didn’t believe in something other than the universe. That what you give, is what you get. The detectives kept me locked up while they forced me to reconsider their deal.
As the days went on. The shiny thought of a new life ran through my head. They were offering me a fake death, witness protection- all if I inform on the club.
I wanted to say I didn’t want it. But a fresh life, with no fucking mistakes of fuck ups was alluring. However I would still be me, and I always seem to screw everything up.
I knew the boy would be worried where I was. Cage wouldn’t be able to track my phone. I was being detained and I had to make a decision.
Four years possibly eight behind bars or, a new life. No club. No Hawk. No Cage. Everyone in my life currently would think I was dead. Could I do that to my family? To Cage? To make him think I was dead. For him to mourn me?
Then again could I really do four years behind bars?
And that was if I got off easy.
My brain was doing the pro and con list and I was starting to see there was only one real option on the table and while I didn’t want to do it- I didn’t really have a choice.
SIXTY
Autumn
Arriving back at the clubhouse I was numb and still hadn’t come up with a good excuse of why I had been missing for two days. I looked down at my shaking hands. How could I even look them in the eye again?
I walked through the clubhouse door- and heard Cage roaring at Hawk. Their argument paused when their eyes landed on me.
At first I saw relief in Cage’s eyes- then pure red anger.
“Where the fuck have you been!” He stormed towards me, his eyes running up and down me, making sure I was safe and okay.
“I um-”
I still hadn’t managed to come up with an excuse. I just blinked and the clubhouse door opened up behind me.
“She’s been with me.” Jacob said at my side and my eyes widened. Did he know? Did he know where I had been!? Holy fucking hell. I looked at him and his eyes were silently telling me to go along with it.
So I did.
“Jacob and I just had to deal with a few things. Sorry for worrying you.” I lied. And Cage just stared at me. His jet black eyes just glued on me.
I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to tell him I loved him.
But I just forced a smile while he ranted about why I couldn’t have answered my phone. I just remained quiet, letting him get his built out frustration out. I felt bad for lying but I felt worse for what I was going to do to him- and his club. So much so I couldn’t even look Hawk or Cage in the eye.
Why Jacob covered for me, I didn’t know. But I knew he would be expecting answers on why he had to lie for me. Again I was in a position where I couldn’t tell the fucking truth. So while Cage let me have it, my mind was ticking over- what the hell I was going to tell Jacob.
CAGE
The church boardroom emptied. Leaving Hawk and I by ourselves. Jacob had been tight lipped about what Autumn and him had been doing.
I wasn’t sure what hurt more, that Autumn didn’t trust me or that she would openly lie to me. Because Hawk and I both knew, Autumn was lying about being with Jacob.
And now, we were about to have a conversation about how to deal with it. Autumn had every right to a secret. But was she keeping it from me, or the club- or both.
They say blood is thicker than water and in Autumn and Jacob’s case- they would always stand by each other. The lengths they would go to protect each other was unlimited and that truly scared me.
Because how could she ever be mine, if she would willingly lie to me, and go under her brothers protection.
I knew then, that Autumn and I had bigger problems then just her lying to us. I knew our relationship was on the line. Fuck if we even had one. How could she go missing for two days and not tell me? How could she stand there and lie to me?
I was losing her. And it fucking terrified me.
Because she was my true north. She was my moral compass. She kept the little big of sane I had, inside me; she kept the monster inside me tamed.
But at the mere thought of losing her, that monster was crawling on the inside to be let out.
Chapter 21
Autumn
Jacob was acting extremely weird. There was no other way to describe it. He had driven me half an hour out of town to a run down motel. I was beginning to think he had brought me here because he wanted to kill me or something. No one would come out here looking for the body that much I knew.
I got out of the car.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I asked him.
“Just.” He paused and ran his hand over his head. “Just hear her out, okay?”
I frowned. I had no idea what he was talking about. Till I saw the motel room door open behind him. Jacob stepped to the side, and my eyes locked with a familiar pair of green eyes.
My mother’s eyes.
No amount of explanation could explain how I was feeling right now. As I sat across from my mother who less than an hour ago- I thought was dead.
Now here she sits. Sipping from a cup of tea.
“Autumn darling, do you have any questions?” she said with a smooth voice.
Questions! They had peppered me with facts when I freaked out. They explained mom was in witness protection. That they faked her death so she could be free from the club. She told me she was the one informing on the club currently.
I couldn’t help the rage I felt when I heard that. This club had taken me in when she faked her own death. Hawk stepped up. God. Hawk. How he had punished himself for her death. All for this! For Mom to live without a guilty conscious about what she knew about club activities.
The sad part? I put two and two together and got four. My operation plus her informing equalling in me getting the same offer they gave her, only I wasn’t taking it.
“Autumn, I know they have approached you,” Mom said smoothly. “You have to know you aren’t meant to do time darling. This is your opportunity to start fresh.”
“Fresh!” I scoffed. No matter where I went or where I lived the depression would follow me.
I looked at Jacob. “You going to turn on the club as well?”
Jacob shook his head. “Mom knows I won’t do that.”
“So what, I’m expected to!”
“I need you to Autumn,” Mom put a hand on my knee. “To keep me safe, you have to turn, you have to give them new information. Everything I have given is expired. They are threatening to take my protection away.”
I loved the club. I loved Hawk. I loved Cage. But this was my mom and she had protected me when I was little. She was my mother. So if you were put in a position to insure your mother would be safe, and the club would get a slap on the wrist- what would you do?
So I was faced with the biggest decision of my life. Turn on the club, go into witness protection, be with my mother. Or, go to prison for four to eight years.
But if I did the time, at least I would still have the club behind me.
“I need time to think.” And that was all I could say because the thought of betraying everyone that had protected me while Mom was ‘dead’- well I couldn’t make that decision without thought.
But as I looked at my mom, I noticed something- she was my mother, but she always wasn’t. Because she still hadn’t told me, why she betrayed the club- she still hadn’t told me a legit reason why she left us kids with a club she betrayed.
Chapter 22
Autumn
Heaven knows that I had tried to make the rig
ht decisions in my life. Every time I was faced with a decision. I tried to think what was in everyone’s best interest. I tried so fucking hard not to hurt those who loved me.
Which was why I was struggling right now. Because a part of me needed to do it. Another part of me- couldn’t fucking leave him. But what were the options. Prison. I would do that willingly. But my mom being released and her cover blown. I couldn’t do that to my blood. Because blood and loyalty were the same.
So as I walked into the clubhouse I knew it was my last night with him. I loved him. I would always love him, but my mother had protected me since I was little and now this was my turn to protect her.
Jacob understood what I was doing. Or at least he tried to understand it. Again, he was more loyal to our blood than the club.
The club party pumped at a deafening sound. I had put more effort into my appearance because I wanted mine and Cage’s last night together- perfect. I wanted him to accept my death. I wanted him to have no guilt come after it.
I had to pick how my fake death would play out. It couldn’t be a drive by. It couldn’t conflict with the club. It had to be an accident. So there was only one way to do that.
Suicide. My body, or a body for that matter will be found at the body of The Fall. Making it look like I had jumped.
I knew it would hurt him but I didn’t have a fucking choice. If I didn’t do it, the club would be brought down on crimes they didn’t deserve to face. That was the part of the deal I had changed.