by L. A. Fiore
“So you weren’t there when he died?”
“No.”
“And when you learned you came right to me, didn’t you?”
He didn’t answer, but then he didn’t have to. I couldn’t stop the next words I spoke, not that I would have because they were long overdue.
“I’ve loved you my whole life.”
His features changed, turning harder and yet softer. In the next second, I was pressed against his hard chest, the heat from his bare skin branding me. My lips brushed over him, so light it was barely a kiss. His one hand moved up my spine to get lost in the hair at the nape of my neck. Fisting my hair, he tilted my head back, my lips opening in anticipation of his tongue. His hips moved slightly, rubbing against me, rocking me to my core at how badly I needed him. I was naked under the robe, the soft material almost hurt against my overly sensitive skin. I wanted him to take me right here against the wall. I wanted his touch to erase that man's.
His voice was nothing but gravel, “You need sleep.”
There was a part of me that knew the timing was wrong, but there was a bigger part of me that felt his rejection like a slap in the face. I had told him I loved him, but maybe he didn’t want me anymore; maybe I was no longer as appealing as I had been.
“Mia.”
“Your feelings have changed, I get it. I’m going to bed.”
In the next second, Cole had me pressed up against the wall. His face was so close, I could feel his breath coming out in rough pants, could feel his heart beating as wildly as my own. “You love me, but what I feel for you is not love, it goes way beyond that. And right now, I want to fuck you so badly, want to feel you take me deep and hear as you moan when I possess you. I want to erase that fucker’s touch from your memory by loving you so completely, but with the way I’m feeling, I’ll likely swallow you whole with this dark and desperate need raging inside me. That tattoo, as hard as I’ve worked at staying away from you, I’m in now, all the way in and I want you more than I want fucking air, but you’ve been through enough, your body is still healing and frankly when you take my cock, I don’t want there to be anything dark tainting the experience. I want it to be just you, me and our mutual cravings.”
No words would come because, oh wow, that was…holy hell.
“Speechless, a Donati is rendered speechless.” His hold on me tightened. “Understand this, Mia, regardless of when I actually make you mine, you already are.”
My heart skipped several beats and I was happily lightheaded when I replied, “Yes I am.”
Sitting outside, my knees pulled up against my chest, I watched a squirrel looking frantically for nuts to store for the winter. I loved that Cole lived not far from my childhood home in the neighborhood that once was his too. His backyard had a cinder block wall dividing his yard from his neighbor adjacent to him. He had a little patio with a table and chairs and a blue umbrella. It was all very normal and cozy and I found myself spending a great deal of time in that little hideaway.
Cole loved me. I had always felt it, believed it even when he barely acknowledged me, but hearing him acknowledge it and seeing past his remoteness to the depths of those feelings, gave me a strength I hadn’t realized I had lost since my dad died. In the week that followed, Cole was never far. I knew if I called to him he’d appear in a heartbeat, but he kept his distance; offering me space. At first, I didn’t understand and was even a little resentful that he stayed away, but as the shock from what I’d been through faded, a little space was exactly what I needed.
My body was healing and mentally, for the most part, I had processed the nightmare and tucked it away. There were moments when I felt a freak out coming, knew if I let myself think about it I’d break, but in the end I had fought and I had survived. There were still so many questions though, how Dad was tied into all of it? What was in the pictures that pale-hair wanted? How did Carter Stein play into it? I didn’t really want to know, wasn’t interested in getting pulled back into such a cesspool. That was for the cops and even Cole, who had chosen to get involved, but I wanted normal back. I’d seen more ugly than I ever cared to. I wanted my life back, hoped that I would some day.
“Mia.”
Cole stepped out onto the patio and just behind him was Bruce Knox.
“Bruce stopped by to see how you were doing.”
“Hi. I’m okay, better.”
Bruce settled across the table from me, Cole leaned up against the back door. Both were studying me, trying to determine if I was telling the truth or just saying what I knew they wanted to hear.
“I’m really okay.” I didn’t want to ask, but I needed to know. “What’s happening with the case on the man—”
“Closed. A cut and dried case of self-defense.”
“But—”
Bruce didn’t let me finish. “I know everything, doesn’t change the outcome. A doctor examined you, we have pictures, you had been kidnapped, and we have DNA. It’s over.”
“And Donny?”
“He’s gone under, but I suspect the reason for that has more to do with his other activities.”
“He wanted access into Dad’s security box at the bank. I didn’t want to tell him what bank Dad used, but he threatened Aunt Dee.” Cole was behind me now, his hands on my shoulders offering comfort; the racing of my heart, from talking about this, immediately slowed.
“I’ll have some uniforms check it out. But I’m guessing that he wants the surveillance on Carter because he’s after something of Carter’s.”
“You think he means to double cross him?”
“Possibly, but it’s not anything you need to think about. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I heard a rumor that Cole was making dinner, chicken parmigiana. I think I need to stay for that.”
I hadn’t known that, my gaze moving to Cole as welcoming warmth suffused through me. “Chicken parmigiana?”
“Thought if there was anyway to get you to eat, that’d be it.”
I wanted to throw myself into his arms, but instead I said, “Suddenly, I'm hungry.”
Later that night I attempted to watch television, but knowing that Cole was in the shower, I couldn’t focus. I wanted to join him, and it wasn’t just sexual, I needed to be near him. He was afraid to touch me, but he was the only person I wanted touching me. I wanted to feel his calloused hands on me, wanted him to take back what that man tried to steal. Climbing from the sofa, I headed upstairs to the bathroom. Cole’s back was to the door, the water sheeting down the corded muscles of his back and over his ass. His one hand was pressed against the wall, his head bent while his other hand moved up and down his cock.
“Let me do that.”
His gaze sliced to me, searing me even with the glass of the door separating us. I didn’t wait for an answer, stripping and stepping into the stall, ducking under his arm to stand in front of him. For a second, I hesitated, seeking to savor the moment because this was Cole and we were finally here. Intense pleasure moved through me, as did the staggering feeling of finally coming home. My hand was steady when I wrapped it around his.
We spoke no other words but our gazes were locked and together we brought him to orgasm, raw pleasure moving over his features. He unlinked our fingers, framing my face in his hands as he pulled me to him for an opened mouth kiss that left my legs just about useless when he ended it, his forehead coming to rest on mine. And though we spoke not a single word, it was the most profound and meaningful moment of my life.
A pleasant weight pressed against my side and as I came more awake, I realized that weight was Cole’s hand curved over my hip, his fingertips on my ass. I was naked, he was too, and the heat from his body scorched me. Our moment in the shower came back to me in exquisite clarity. Knowing that this complicated and beautiful man felt for me what I felt for him, even with all the insanity around us, left me feeling elated and loved.
The fingers on my ass tightened a second before Cole moved, pinning me under him. His eyes were still
heavy with sleep, his finger sliding down my exposed breasts, his touch going right to his mark. “I fucking love this.” Heavy-lidded eyes lifted to meet mine. “I’m going to have to bite you in a few more choice places so I can brand you there too.”
Instantly my body burned thinking about where all those love bites would lead. “Like where?”
Curling his hand under me, he squeezed my ass. “Here”
Sliding that same hand up my side, over my breast to my shoulder where he pressed a kiss. “Here”
His hand moved slowly down my stomach before he caressed my inner thigh. “And definitely here.”
My body ached for him, I wanted his touch, wanted the pleasure I knew he could pull from me. He studied me, lust in his gaze but concern burned there too. He hesitated before his gaze turned searching, seeking permission.
“Touch me.”
His thumb disappeared into his mouth for a second, the rough pad glistening as he drew it across my nipple. The pleasure that simple stroke stirred had my breath catching in my lungs. Slowly, he slid his hand down my body and between my legs where he pressed his thumb to my clit, my hips jerked seeking more of his touch. As his thumb worked that nub, his fingers moved through the heat he stirred and gently pressed into me. His eyes never left mine as he played my body like an instrument, masterfully pulling from me raw and intense pleasure. Just before I came, his mouth replaced his fingers, his eyes still locked on mine, as his tongue drove deep, my body pulsing in sweet release. His mouth lingered a moment, tasting my arousal, the sight of him enjoying it had my body aching again. I wanted to reach for him, wanted to return the pleasure, but he rolled off me and climbed from the bed.
“Let me Cole.”
He wanted to, lust turned his face harsher, but he answered, “Not now. When I have you, it’s going to take a good long while until I’m sated and when I get done with you, you won’t have the energy to do anything but breathe. And as much I want to own you completely, I don’t think you’re ready yet and I know I’m not.”
“What do you mean, you’re not?”
His voice pitched deeper, “He hurt you and every time I think of him touching you, the fear you must have felt, the helplessness…I battle it back but the animal in me wants out. And it’ll be you the animal is released on. I’ll take you hard, it’ll be raw and rough and I’ll want you to want it, that more primal side of me, and right now you aren’t ready for that.”
“I want to be ready for that.”
“I know, but give yourself time, Mia. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m okay, really Aunt Dee.” We were sitting in Aunt Dee’s living room. Cole had brought me before heading to Tickled Ivories to catch up on work. It had been two weeks since my ordeal and I was dealing; the nightmares had almost stopped and the bruises had mostly all faded which helped in the healing, not being forced to remember every time I looked in the mirror. I’d been violated and as much as I struggled to forget his hands on me, his fingers inside me, what kept me from completely losing my mind was I had fought back. He’d gotten a piece of me, but he hadn’t gotten it all and I drew strength from that. Cole was amazing. Seeming to know what I needed before I did, but then we’d known each other since we were kids and recently he’d spent an awful lot of time watching over me. It was no wonder that he could read me like a book.
Shifting my focus to Aunt Dee, she wanted answers but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the whole of it, couldn’t imagine making her live the nightmare. It wasn’t necessary and if I could keep her in ignorant bliss about most of the horror, I damn well intended to do just that. Stalling, I asked, “How’s the house?” Cole had told me about my house getting tossed. Donny had been looking for the pictures and it enraged me that he had violated yet another part of my life.
“Cole had a team come in, what could be saved was, what couldn’t we tossed.”
“Cole?”
She looked confused. “Yeah, didn’t he tell you?”
No he hadn’t because I was dealing with other problems.
Determination replaced confusion. “I want to know what happened, Mia.”
She really didn’t. I’d have told my dad, but I couldn’t bring myself to force her to see that level of ugly. “I don’t think you need to know. I’m okay, I’m safe and I’ve got not only Cole watching me, but also half of the PPD. I’m really okay.”
She wasn’t satisfied with my answer, her eyes narrowed which meant she was getting ready to sink her claws in until I relented and gave her everything. I knew this because Dad and I were also guilty of doing just that. “Mia, you were missing, the cops were swarming your street, no contact for days. What happened?”
I shared, but only a little. “Kevin was working with someone who wanted something from me. The man held me hoping I’d give him what he wanted, but I haven’t a clue where it is. Cole and the police tracked me down and got me out. I’m at Cole’s because he doesn’t want me to be alone.”
“What did the man want?”
“Pictures that apparently Dad took.”
“Pictures? Must be some seriously revealing pictures. Who took you and don’t evade this time.”
“A henchman of Stein’s.”
Silence followed before Aunt Dee said, “You warned me that it was likely Mace’s death wasn’t an accident. Even said it was likely Stein was involved. He really did have something to do with Mace’s death if he’s still looking for something from him.”
“That’s what the cops think.”
Again the silence and then she moved so fast, picking up her mug of coffee and hurling it across the room. It splintered against the far wall. “It’s just unbelievable. Mace is gone, taken and for what? Money.”
“That would be my guess.”
“The cops are going to get these assholes, right?”
“Yes. Cole will see it done.”
“After everything that man’s been through…my brother had always been an excellent judge of character. When this is all over, I’d really like to get to know Cole better.”
“I think he’d like that too.”
“Okay. I’m changing the subject because even though I know you’re holding back, I won’t push. If you ever become ready, I’m here and I hope you’ve shared your ordeal with Cole because you to need to. He’ll help you through it.”
“He is and thank you.”
“I visited Dylan and you’re right, he isn’t doing so great, though I’m happy to say he wasn’t drunk.”
“Well that’s something.”
“I have a friend, she works at Pennsylvania Hospital, a therapist. She’s joining Dylan and me for dinner tomorrow night. Maybe she’ll have more success reaching him. I’ll keep you posted.”
“That’s a great idea and yeah, please keep me posted. Now it’s my turn to change the subject. Before all of this, Cynthia called me at the office.”
“How the hell did she get your office number?”
“Haven’t a clue. She wants to talk about Dad, but why the interest in talking to me now?” It was a question that plagued me because I didn’t believe in coincidences.
“She’s after something, maybe she wants some of Mace’s estate.” Aunt Dee suggested.
“What estate? Dylan had to sell everything to make ends meet.”
“True.”
“Do you have power of attorney?”
“Yeah, Dylan and I both did, but I let Dylan handle everything. At first, I couldn’t do it and frankly I’m like Mace, I don’t have the patience.”
“You put Dad’s books aside for me right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’d like to go through them. Maybe Cynthia knows something we don’t.”
“I can’t imagine she does, but yeah I have everything in my office.”
“Okay, I’ll take them when I leave.”
“When are you going home?”
“Not sure.”
“My two cents, stay with Cole, at least for a little while until you’ve
completely dealt with recent events. It’ll be easier for you to cope, if you feel safe and that boy will definitely keep you safe.”
“Agreed.”
Her face softened, some of the stress of the visit easing from her features. “Has he finally accepted that he belongs to you and you to him?”
It shouldn’t have surprised me that Aunt Dee knew of the emotional tug of war Cole and I had been playing for so long, but it did all the same. “Yes.”
“Finally.”
The laugh that bubbled up and out of me felt really great.
Cole had left earlier to handle some pressing business at the club, and I felt badly since he only had pressing business because he’d been staying home with me. He didn’t want to leave me, intended to blow off the club business, but I put my foot down. He didn’t relent until he got in touch with Bruce and demanded a car sit on the house. I thought Bruce would object, but ten minutes later, an unmarked car was parked across the street.
Now that he was gone, I kind of wished I hadn’t insisted he go. I missed him, but I took the opportunity to explore his house. Sparse was a good word, but not cold. His space was clean and precise, looking how I imagined soldiers kept their barracks. His bedroom had a little more warmth, created by the few pictures he had on his dresser. Pictures that seemed so out of place in his room and yet seeing that he had snapshots, memories of Dad and me in his room, he really had thought of us as family. Despite all his attempts to act contrary, here was proof that he had belonged to us as much as we had belonged to him. That knowledge settled quite comfortably in my chest. Taped to the wall next to the dresser was a newspaper article. It was old; the newspaper had started to turn yellow. Stepping closer, my heart dropped as I read the forensic accounting of his father’s beating and subsequent death. Why did he keep that? Why would he force himself to remember that animal? The answer was obvious, guilt, but for what? The man was a monster and Cole had saved himself no matter how he thought of it now. Had the man not beaten him, Cole never would have taken his hands to him. Anger, I shouldn’t have felt it, but I did, though I couldn’t be sure whom my ire was directed at. Cole for being stupid enough to carry a burden he had no business carrying or his father for being a worthless piece of shit.