by Evie Grace
‘I could have gone through with it – I could have made her my wife out of convenience, but that wouldn’t have been fair on her. She would have suffered being married to a doctor, having to make sacrifices for my work.’
If a young lady truly loved you, she would make any sacrifice, Hannah thought, before realising, with a jolt of shock, that she was thinking of herself. She loved him, yet she hadn’t been able give up her stubborn refusal to marry and sacrifice her vocation for him. Did that make her a hypocrite?
He took out a handkerchief and blew his nose.
‘I’m overwrought. I’ve had a bad day – one of my private patients passed away. He was only twenty-six and married with three young children.’
Hannah nodded. There was nothing she could offer, except for the usual platitudes.
‘All I can say is that I’ve learned a lesson – that although it might seem foolish, or greedy, I will marry only for love.’ He sat back and placed his hands flat on the table. ‘I will envy Henry if Charlotte accepts his proposal.’
‘Perhaps we’ll know tomorrow, if he has the courage to offer. It’s getting late. I’d better be on my way.’ She stood up to leave. ‘I hope you have a peaceful night.’
‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Goodnight, Sister.’
Hannah walked home – it wasn’t far and there were still plenty of people about, taking advantage of the taverns and dining rooms. She passed several couples: young newlyweds walking arm in arm or holding hands and even kissing on the street. Doctor Clifton had unsettled her again with his talk of love and marriage. She had managed to remain on an even keel for a while, but he had disturbed her peace of mind.
Accepting that he would marry Miss Osbourne-Cole would have been difficult, but not impossible, she reasoned, but now he was free again, there was no obstacle apart from her stubborn refusal to let go of her profession. She scolded herself inwardly for even imagining that he still felt the same way about her, after she’d rejected him in the past. He’d confided in her as a colleague and friend. He’d even emphasised the point that he saw her only as a nurse, not as someone whom he’d consider as his future wife, calling her Sister most definitively as he’d wished her goodnight.
‘Nurse Finch, what time do you call this?’ Hannah ambushed Charlotte when she arrived on the ward the following morning, having not turned up for breakfast.
Charlotte looked up at the clock. Her hair was in disarray and her cap askew.
‘Um, it’s five past eight. I’m so sorry …’
‘I have three more leeches for you today.’
‘No.’ Charlotte’s complexion paled. ‘Is this an experiment of Doctor Clifton’s?’
Hannah chuckled. ‘I’m teasing.’
‘That’s very mean of you, Sister. I believed you …’
‘How was the ball?’
‘It was marvellous, more than I ever dreamed it would be. I danced all night – with Henry mostly, of course, and his friends, and once with Mr Anthony.’ Charlotte had a beatific smile on her face. ‘Oh, you’ll never guess …’
‘Mr Hunter’s going to speak to your father.’
‘How did you know?’
Hannah tipped her head to one side. ‘I had an inkling.’
‘Have you been talking to Doctor Clifton?’
‘We had a problem with Samuel last night.’
‘Is he all right?’ Charlotte asked anxiously.
‘He will be,’ Hannah said. ‘Congratulations anyway. I assume your father will give his consent?’
‘I have no doubt. When I was jilted before, he was terribly upset and all he wanted was for me to find a decent man, but I wasn’t ready then. He’ll adore Henry – he’ll say I’ve done very well for myself. Don’t say anything until it’s certain, though, will you?’
‘Your secret’s safe with me. Now, go and help Nurse May get our motley crew ready for the doctors.’ Hannah watched her walk down the ward, her head held high as she greeted all the boys. She understood Mrs Knowles a little better – it was a shame to think that Charlotte would soon be leaving the house. She only wished that Ruby was in a similar situation, safely engaged to a suitable gentleman, not under suspicion of encouraging a disreputable stranger’s attentions.
She tried to put her worries aside and got on with her day. That afternoon, when he came in from the balcony, Samuel had some colour in his cheeks, and when Hannah re-dressed his wound, she found that the scrofulous swelling on his elbow had gone down a little.
The next morning, she kissed Ruby goodbye as she was sleeping, before she went to the house. During the morning, she found Alice taking a walk along the ward.
‘Are you lost?’ she called.
‘I thought I’d see if there was anything I could do to help. I’m bored to tears.’
‘You’re supposed to be sunning yourself out on the balcony. Has Doctor Clifton authorised this? Has he told you that you can stop the treatment?’
‘When I pressed him, he agreed that I could start taking a little exercise and volunteering with the little ones. I’ll always regret wasting my time on Mr Fry. It was partly my fault – I was more in love with the idea of marriage than I was with him. Now I must accept that I’ll never walk out with anyone again, that I’ll never wed and bear children. Even though it appears that my condition has improved, there’s no way of telling if the scrofula has gone completely. That’s why I want to help. My greatest wish is to return to nursing.’
‘Are you sure you’re up to it?’
‘To be honest, I’ve never felt better. Now, tell me what I can do.’
It was Hannah’s afternoon off and she appreciated Alice’s assistance because it meant she could get away on time. Often, she would stay on, but today she wanted to spend the afternoon with Ruby.
‘Is everything all right?’ Charlotte asked as she was leaving. ‘You seem a little down.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘It’s just the extra work involved in being ward sister. I’ll get used to it.’
‘Make sure you get some rest then,’ Charlotte smiled.
‘Is there any more news?’
‘Henry’s calling on my father this weekend. Hannah, you will tell me if there’s anything I can do to help, won’t you?’
‘Of course. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘She’s gone out,’ Hannah heard Mrs Clovis say as she entered the lodging house. ‘The gentleman I told you about came to collect her this morning, not long after you left. I thought you should know.’
‘I’m very grateful for the information.’ Hannah felt sick. ‘Have you any idea where they went?’
‘I asked Miss Ruby if she was all right, not knowing if she was leaving of her own accord or under duress, and she said she was very well, thank you. I’m afraid to tell you that she went of her own free will, which is why I didn’t send word to the infirmary or speak to the police. You are acquainted with this gentleman?’
‘I am indeed. He’s a friend of ours,’ Hannah said, ‘a cousin.’
‘I see,’ Mrs Clovis said, gloating at Hannah’s fabrication. ‘Even so, she shouldn’t have gone off with him like that, a young lady and a gentleman alone. You’d better go after her.’
‘I shall,’ Hannah said, turning to leave straight away. Would it be too late? Had Ruby already been ruined? She’d claimed that nothing untoward had happened during Mr Milani’s visits to their rooms. Had he taken her elsewhere to seduce her? She didn’t know what to believe any more.
She hurried to the Hall by the Sea.
‘You must have a ticket, miss,’ said the man at the entrance.
‘I’m not here to see the sights. I wish to speak to Mr Milani about a private matter.’
‘If I had a penny every time someone made up a cock-and-bull story to gain free entry, I’d be a rich man.’
‘This isn’t a ruse,’ she said sharply, wishing she hadn’t destroyed the tickets Mr Milani had given to Ruby.
‘What business do you have with hi
m, then?’
‘I can’t say,’ she muttered, blushing with shame and embarrassment.
‘Ah, he’s told you that you can visit the cubs at any time. Well, it isn’t possible. He doesn’t own this place – it’s Lord Sanger who gives out favours, not Mr Milani.’
‘I’m sorry, but you compel me to reveal that I’m a nurse from the infirmary. Mr Milani has been attending and I have a message for him from one of the doctors.’
‘You should have said.’ The ticket man gave an exaggerated wink, his manner making her skin crawl. ‘He has a dose of the French disease!’
‘No, sir.’
‘Go on. Go through. You’ll find him with the big cats.’
‘What’s she doin’ pushin’ in?’ someone in the queue behind her complained.
‘It’s a medical emergency,’ the ticket seller said, and Hannah made her way through the turnstile and across the park in the sunshine to Mr Milani’s lair, where the scent of cat assaulted her nostrils. Having passed a small crowd who were teasing the tigress with a feather on a stick, she saw a young boy scrubbing the floor of the lions’ cage, whistling as he went.
‘Excuse me,’ she said.
The boy looked up, as something scratched at the other side of the door behind him.
‘Please, can you tell me where I can find Mr Milani? It’s urgent.’
‘You ’aven’t brought ’is money, ’ave you? ’E’s expectin’ Mr Allspice to pay ’im back today or tomorrer.’
‘The matter I wish to see him about has nothing to do with Mr Allspice,’ Hannah said impatiently.
‘Well, ’e’s out the back with the cubs. ’E said not to disturb ’im.’
‘Does he have a young lady with him?’
‘Yes’ – the boy smirked – ‘an’ a very pretty one she is, too.’
‘She’s in a lot of trouble. I need to speak to her.’ In desperation, she took a shilling from her pocket and held it in front of him. ‘This is yours, if you show me to her.’
‘It’ll cost yer more than that. He’ll give me a good ’idin’ for it.’
She held out two shillings and the boy came out of the cage and down the steps. He rattled the bars on the next one along. ‘There’s someone for you, Mr Milani,’ he yelled. No one came and Hannah began to wonder if the boy had been mistaken. He slid the bolt on the cage and opened the door, letting himself in. Hannah followed close behind.
‘You can’t come in here, miss,’ the boy said. ‘It’s too dangerous for the likes of you.’
‘I’m not afraid,’ she said, giving him his two shillings, sweeping past him and opening the door in the wall at the back to reveal Mr Milani with his arms wrapped around her sister. Ruby turned and stared at her, her cheeks pink, her hair awry and her eyes dark with lust.
‘No!’ Hannah exclaimed as Mr Milani released Ruby and she took a step back, her hand flying to hide her breast where her bodice was undone.
Hannah took off her cape and threw it at her. ‘Cover yourself!’
‘What’s this all about?’ Mr Milani said calmly as Ruby rearranged her dress and pulled the cape over her shoulders.
‘It’s Miss Bentley, my sister,’ Ruby muttered coldly.
‘I’ve come to take Ruby home before her reputation is completely destroyed,’ Hannah said.
‘I won’t go,’ Ruby proclaimed.
‘Don’t be too hasty, my love,’ Mr Milani said.
‘We’ll soon be married – you said so.’
‘I did, and we will be, but in the meantime, your sister is right. We should refrain from being alone together until that happy day when we are joined as husband and wife.’
‘Ruby, you don’t believe any of this, do you?’ Hannah interrupted. ‘This louse has no intention of marrying you, or he would have put a ring on your finger already.’
Ruby’s face contorted with sorrow and doubt.
‘Am I ruined, Antonio?’ she whispered. ‘Tell me I’m not.’
‘This has to stop,’ Hannah said. ‘You must understand that my sister is a young – very young – lady who is set way above you. She appears to have developed an infatuation—’
‘How can I help that?’ He puffed himself up like a rooster.
‘All I ask is that you leave her alone.’
‘No, Hannah,’ Ruby said.
‘It isn’t my fault if she comes preying on me, dropping her handkerchief so I’m obliged to return it, and leaving messages for me at the gate. She gets up to all sorts of tricks.’
‘Mr Milani!’ Hannah exclaimed. ‘This is my sister you are speaking of.’
He inclined his head. ‘Miss Bentley, Ruby is a sweet girl and generous to a fault. When she sends for me, looking for company, what can I do?’
‘She will not send for you in the future. Good day, Mr Milani. Ruby, come with me.’
‘I will stay here with you, Antonio,’ she said with a stamp of her foot, reminding Hannah of when she was crossed as a small child, but Mr Milani shook his head.
‘Go with your sister. I have much work to do to prepare my act for opening night,’ he said.
‘You will be in touch?’ Ruby said, crestfallen.
‘Of course. Now go, my love.’ He took her trembling hands and kissed her cheek.
Hannah suppressed a wave of fury at his behaviour. She’d imagined that she could prevail on him to do the right thing, explain that their friendship or flirtation, whatever it was, couldn’t continue, but it seemed that she’d been wrong. How was she to keep Ruby safe if Mr Milani wasn’t prepared to play his part?
She turned to her sister. All she could do to prevent certain disaster for them both was to use any means possible – begging or shouting at her, if necessary – to prevail on Ruby to give the odious Mr Milani up. Taking her arm, she led her away, wincing as the cage door slammed shut behind them.
‘You have much to explain, young lady,’ she hissed as they walked back through the grounds. ‘What did you think you were doing?’
‘He came for me.’
‘You sent for him!’
‘And you embarrassed me by turning up out of the blue and making a scene! How could you?’
‘I don’t care. I’m glad I did. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t come to find you? You have lied to me, gone against my wishes and put your reputation at risk yet again. If Mr Milani had any affection for you, he would have spoken to me as your guardian – I’ve considered myself responsible for you since you broke with Pa – before offering his hand.’
‘And you would have turned him away because you hate him so much!’ Ruby spat. ‘Anyway, we are as good as married – that’s what he says.’
‘Where is your ring? Your signature in the register? No, I thought not,’ Hannah went on when Ruby fell silent. ‘Your head might as well be stuffed with feathers, if you can’t see that he’s leading you on to ruin. This affects me too, and I’m very hurt at your lack of respect when I’ve only ever tried to do my best for you. What you’ve done today is scandalous. If anyone at the infirmary finds out, my reputation will be ruined by association. Ruby, I could lose my place over this. Apart from the shame of it, we’ll have no money, no way of buying food or paying the rent. Do you understand now?’
‘But I don’t think I can go on living without him. Oh, Hannah, what am I going to do?’
‘You’ll promise me that you won’t see him again – and you’ll keep that promise.’ Hannah’s stony heart softened just a little at the sight of Ruby’s distress. ‘We have each other and much besides to be thankful for,’ she continued. They walked along the front, passing the bathing rooms where a gentleman was waiting outside with his pipe, sending smoke rings curling into the air. Ruby kept her eyes to the sea.
Chapter Fifteen
The Circus
‘Sister, are you busy?’ she heard Doctor Clifton say, as she hurried along the corridor with the bottle of medicine that he’d prescribed for Samuel who was due to go home later in the day.
‘I’m always
busy,’ she said, amused that he even needed to ask.
‘May I have a word? In private?’ She stopped and turned to find him holding the door of one of the examination rooms open. ‘This won’t take more than two minutes, I promise.’
Sighing with mock irritation, she slipped into the room with him.
‘I didn’t want to speak of this in front of our colleagues,’ he said, closing the door behind them. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m being presumptuous, but I wonder if you’d like to accompany me to the circus this evening. Mrs Phillips has obtained two tickets for me and Henry, but my cousin isn’t well enough to attend.’
‘What’s wrong with him?’ she asked quickly, putting the brown glass bottle on the trolley just inside the door.
‘I suspect that he couldn’t bring himself to tell me that he’d prefer to sit up with his fiancée, so he’s feigned illness. I don’t mind – I see enough of him already. Will you come with me instead?’
She hesitated, and he went on, ‘I don’t think there’d be any harm in accepting, considering the circumstances. It isn’t as if …’ His voice trailed off. ‘I’m not asking you to walk out with me, nothing like that. You’ve made it perfectly clear that our interactions outside the house will always remain within the bounds of friendship. You’d be doing me a favour. I’d hate to see the ticket go to waste.’
‘I’m not sure.’ She was worried about leaving Ruby any longer than she had to after her escapade with Mr Milani, but then, she reasoned, he’d be preoccupied with his lion-taming act and therefore out of harm’s way.
‘I believe that Alan Allspice is performing.’
‘I thought you didn’t believe in patronising the circus, knowing the cruelty they inflict on the children.’
‘In spite of my reservations, I’d like to see how Alan is.’
‘Then it’s more like a house call?’ Hannah couldn’t help smiling.
‘You could say that,’ he admitted.
‘What about your patients? Who will look after them while you’re out and about?’
‘I have a colleague who will hold the fort for me at the clinic – it’s rare for me to be called out after six. And I’ve told the junior physician to contact Mr Pyle or Mr Anthony if there’s anything that can’t wait at the house. We’ll meet at the station and take the train, then I’ll walk you home afterwards.’