by Evie Grace
‘I don’t like the thought of lying in bed all day. Tell me the good news.’
‘I remember you telling me how you wish to work on the ships one day.’
He nodded. ‘If I do this, my back will end up straight? I’ll be taller than my sister?’
‘It has a good chance of turning out right,’ she said, not wanting to make false promises. ‘What do you think?’
‘I’ll do it,’ he said bravely.
However, when Mr Brightside fitted the cast, assisted by Nurse May, Oliver fell silent, realising he was trussed up like a goose and expected to spend half his time on his front.
‘I don’t like it,’ he grumbled when Hannah and Nurse May turned him on to his stomach. ‘I can’t see anything.’
‘You’ll soon get used to it,’ Hannah said. ‘It’s important that we turn you regularly. Why is that, Nurse May?’
‘To prevent sores,’ she replied. ‘It’s easier to stop them in the first place than it is to treat them.’
‘That’s right,’ Hannah said, her mind darting from the subject of bedsores to Ruby’s problems and her longing for James. ‘It’s the same for many other situations in life. Prevention is better than cure.’
Chapter Nineteen
A Dose of Godfrey’s Cordial
One morning at the end of March, when the sun was emerging meekly through the mist outside their grimy window, Hannah caught sight of the unmistakeable swell of Ruby’s stomach and the veiny fullness of her breasts as she changed out of her nightgown. There had been times when she’d wondered if her sister was suffering from dropsy, with her bloated stomach and thick ankles, but she was the picture of health. She could have cried.
Taking a deep breath, she waited for her to finish dressing.
‘Sit down,’ she said sharply. ‘I need to speak to you.’
‘We’ll be late.’ Ruby studiously avoided Hannah’s gaze.
‘This can’t wait any longer.’ She stood with her arms crossed as Ruby perched on the sagging armchair with a woollen shawl arranged to hide her belly. ‘I know why you go around padded out with petticoats while the boilers are roaring in the house. You’re with child.’
‘It isn’t true.’ Ruby’s lip quivered and her beautiful eyes glazed with tears as she looked up.
‘If you’d only confided in me before …’ Hannah wasn’t sure what difference that would have made, but at least she could have been prepared.
‘I’m not with child.’
‘After all I’ve done for you, you can’t bring yourself to tell me the truth. Why?’ Her heart went out to her poor deluded sister. She saw what ruination meant now. Ruby was broken.
‘I will not confess to anything,’ she said, her voice tremulous.
‘I’m sorry for what happened with Mr Milani. I say that sincerely – I would have treated him as my brother, if he’d faced up to what he’d done and seen fit to marry you.’ Hannah chose her words carefully, not wanting to add to Ruby’s distress. ‘You aren’t going to work today.’
‘I’m expected – I can’t just cry off.’
‘I’ll square it with Mrs Knowles.’
‘I’m so sorry – I’ve let you down.’
‘You need to face up to it, Ruby. The child will be here in what … a month? Two months?’
‘Soon.’ She nodded, her face etched with misery.
‘You won’t be going to work again until after the infant’s born, and then you’ll have to find something you can do from home, because you won’t be able to go back to the infirmary.’ Hannah stared at the few coals that were left in the basket beside the fireplace. ‘How are we going to manage to bring it up?’
‘A babe doesn’t need much.’
‘A mother’s love isn’t enough. Children can be a blessing, but they’re also a means of keeping their parents poor. I see it every day.’ It crossed her mind that she might be able to persuade James to give her some hours at his private clinic, but that would mean having to tell him of their predicament.
‘I hope I haven’t ruined everything for you,’ Ruby said quietly.
‘I’m afraid that you’ve ruined everything for both of us. We’ll talk some more when I get back.’ When Hannah went to the door in her shoes and cape, Ruby let her out.
‘I know you think I don’t appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I do,’ she said.
Hannah forced a smile. ‘Then you will prove it by doing as I ask.’
Matron was unavailable that morning, attending meetings with the chief superintendent and the governors, which was a relief to Hannah who informed Mrs Merry instead that Ruby was indisposed and wouldn’t be at work that day. Having bought time before she would have to tell her and Mrs Knowles that the situation was permanent, Hannah went to help little Oliver whose blonde ringlets fell over the shoulders of his plaster cast as he tried in vain to escape its restraint. He was used to lying on his front, but he still didn’t like it when Hannah and Nurse May moved him in the turning plaster, or when Hannah gave him his dose of Godfrey’s cordial, a mixture of treacle, opium and sassafras to help him lie still.
‘Sister, Oliver seems worse this morning,’ Nurse May said, giving her his vital signs.
‘Thank you for letting me know. I’ll have a word with him.’
‘You’ve had your medicine?’ she asked him.
He nodded weakly.
‘Have you managed to eat your breakfast?’ Hannah knew very well that his porridge was sitting untouched on the tray at the end of his bed. ‘Let me help you,’ she said, picking up the bowl and spoon and giving the porridge a stir. She spooned some up and offered it to her young charge who shook his head.
‘I don’t want it.’
‘Just taste it – that’s all I ask.’
Wrinkling his nose, he took a little porridge from the spoon.
‘Is it sweet enough?’
‘Yes, Sister.’
She offered him a fresh spoonful and he ate that, and another, after which he pushed the bowl away.
‘Let me find one of the lady volunteers to read you a story while you’re out in the sunshine,’ Hannah suggested. ‘It won’t be long before you’re better, and Mr Anthony will say you’re ready to sit up.’ Unsure how much hope there was for the poor lad, she fastened the forehead rest to keep his head still.
‘Where is Ruby today? Mrs Merry is missing her,’ Alice said.
‘Oh, she’s unwell. I didn’t think it wise that she should come here and mix with the patients.’
‘There’s much talk, Hannah. People had their suspicions before, but now some dare to say that it’s certain.’
‘I know.’
‘What’s the truth of it?’
Hannah shook her head.
‘Later, then. Come on, Oliver. Let’s dry your tears,’ Alice said breezily.
The day went on, and Doctor Clifton arrived on his ward rounds with Mr Anthony. Hannah tried to avoid him, speaking only when spoken to, because she felt she might break down and give herself away. Had Oliver had a good night? Had he eaten all the food offered? Had he expressed any sensation of pain or tingling in his limbs?
When she answered, he tried to catch her eye, but she dropped her gaze, unable to face him. Alice suspected the truth. How long would it be before everyone knew that her sister was having a child out of wedlock? She was in almost as much trouble as Ruby, her reputation tainted by association. How would that affect her standing at the infirmary? Worse, though, was wondering what opinion James would have of her when he found out. He would think he’d had a lucky escape, not marrying her.
At the end of her shift, she hurried back through the dark to the lodging house. Entering their room where the air was cold and still, the lamps unlit and the ashes in the grate barely glowing, she hurried straight to the bed.
‘Wake up,’ she called, seeing the outline of Ruby’s figure lying down with her hair flared across the pillow. She didn’t stir. Hannah stood over her, her eyes gradually making out the grey strands of the mop,
the handle under the coverlet padded out with bolsters, and at the end of the mattress, Hannah’s best shoes.
Shaking with anger and panic, she checked the dressing table. Several of Ruby’s personal effects had gone: the necklace Grandma had left her; the hairbrush and mirror set with the silver and mother-of-pearl backs; her dressing case and carpet bag. Hannah went into the sitting room where there was a note on the side table: a few scrawled words on a scrap of headed paper that Ruby must have filched from the hospital.
Dear Hannah,
Please don’t worry. I’ve gone away for a while. Don’t try to find me.
Your devoted sister,
Ruby x
Overcome, Hannah sat down, the words blurring in front of her eyes. It was a shock when Ruby had seemed so calm and controlled that morning. After a while, she got up to check the box under the bed. It was – as she’d expected – empty. Now she would be short for the rest of the week, but that didn’t matter. At least Ruby had thought to take some money with her.
Where would she have gone? She ran through a list of their family, friends and acquaintances; the Foundling Hospital … or was it possible that Mr Milani had sent for her? Ruby hadn’t mentioned Mrs Allspice for several weeks, but Hannah couldn’t discount the possibility that she’d gone to stay with her in Ramsgate.
Still wearing her cape and shoes, she went to see their landlady who lived on the ground floor.
‘Done a runner, ’as she?’ Mrs Wells said, answering the door in her slippers.
Hannah’s instinct was to deny it for appearances’ sake, before realising that that approach wasn’t going to get her anywhere. It was a private matter, but she had to reveal some of the details if she was going to find Ruby.
‘Is it possible that you noticed her go out today?’
‘I ’ave better things to do than mind your sister, but let me think.’ She scratched her chin, dislodging a crust of dried egg yolk, before gazing up at the sky as if the arrangement of stars might nudge her memory. ‘I did see her go, matter of fact. It was at about midday – she left, carrying a couple of bags and boxes.’
‘Did you speak to her?’
‘No, but I did think it a little odd that she should leave the ’ouse at that time when she’s been goin’ out with you early in the mornin’s. Look at you. You’ve ’ad a shock. Come indoors and ’ave a little gin.’
‘I’m very grateful, but no thank you.’ Needing to keep a clear head, Hannah excused herself. Her expectations of her and Ruby living happily together in Margate had been turned upside down. She could only console herself with the fact that Ruby had left voluntarily, leaving a note and taking some of her belongings, indicating that she’d had a plan in mind, rather than running away on a whim.
Hannah had no choice but to go to work the next morning – she had a ward to run, patients and staff depending on her. Sick at heart and weary from waiting all night in the hope of hearing Ruby’s knock at the door or the sound of her voice, she washed and dressed and made her way to the infirmary where she found that Oliver’s condition had gone downhill.
He was in bed, crying.
‘Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’ she asked.
‘My back is burning.’ His voice was panicky. ‘I can’t feel my legs.’
‘Let’s ask Doctor Clifton what medicine you can have when he turns up on his rounds. He’ll be here very soon.’
It wasn’t long before Doctor Clifton turned up with Doctor Hunter and the junior physician. Hannah gave them a summary of her observations.
‘How is little Oliver today?’ Doctor Clifton said with a smile.
‘I’m not little,’ he replied.
‘In view of Sister’s report, I’m going to check your reflexes.’
Hannah and Alice held a sheet in front of Oliver’s eyes, so he couldn’t see what the doctor was doing.
‘Can you feel anything?’ he asked as the boy squeezed his eyelids shut, deep in concentration.
‘How about now?’ Doctor Clifton pinched his big toe.
‘I think I can feel something like a feather.’
‘And now?’ The doctor used a needle.
‘Nothing,’ he said in a shrill voice. ‘What’s happening to me?’
‘There’s some pressure on your spine. I’m going to speak to Mr Anthony to see what he can do.’
‘I need the use of my legs,’ Oliver said. ‘I’m going to build ships like my pa, and his pa before him.’
‘It’s important to keep looking towards the future. Perhaps one of the ladies will find a book about ships for you to look at,’ Doctor Clifton suggested before walking further along the ward to speak to Hannah and his colleagues.
‘I’d hoped to avoid surgery. This patient has been doing well with thalassotherapy, but it seems that it was a temporary state of affairs. I’m sorry to see that his condition is turning into a classic case of Pott’s disease. I’ll arrange for Mr Anthony to remove some of the diseased tissue that’s pressing on the spine, but the prognosis is … well, poor.’
The doctors nodded sagely and moved on, but later when the children were on the balcony, wrapped in blankets against the fierce March winds, Mr Anthony turned up to examine Oliver and arrange for him to have surgery the following day.
As soon as he had gone, Hannah rushed off to the sluice to shed a few tears – for Oliver whose time was running out, and for Ruby. When she emerged minutes later with a clean bedpan, Doctor Clifton ambushed her in the corridor.
‘I see you’re upset,’ he said.
‘It’s the wind,’ she responded. ‘It stings my eyes.’
‘I keep asking myself if it’s fair to put Oliver through an operation, but Mr Anthony and I agree that this is the only way to proceed. The alternative is for him to live out the rest of his days – and there won’t be many of those – confined to a cast and dosed up with morphia.’
‘I trust your opinion, James,’ she said, knowing that it was a case of kill or cure.
‘You seem on edge. Is there something wrong? You look gaunt …’ His eyes were filled with concern. ‘Are you having any aches and pains, any fevers?’
‘Oh no, goodness no.’
‘Thank God for that.’
‘I’m well.’ She forced a smile. She was good at that, but Doctor Clifton gave her a knowing look and she realised that she hadn’t succeeded in pulling the wool over his eyes.
‘Don’t forget that you have to look after yourself so that you’re fit to care for others,’ he said sternly. ‘Make sure you go and have something to eat. You’re as white as a sheet.’
Not only was she worried about her sister’s welfare, she was growing angrier by the minute. As soon as her shift ended, she walked to the Hall by the Sea to ask if anyone had any idea of Ruby’s whereabouts, but it was closed for the winter season. There was a caretaker at the main entrance beneath the sign reading, Beasts, Birds and Reptiles from All Parts of the Universe, but he was no help.
‘Lord Sanger has taken on new staff to look after the big cats,’ he said. ‘We do have plenty of young ladies who visit the menagerie during the year, offering to assist with the animals, but I don’t recall a lady of that description.’
‘What about Mr Allspice? Do you know of his address?’
‘I know of the gentleman, but not his whereabouts. Did you know he met with an accident? Terrible, it was,’ he went on.
‘Thank you for your time, sir,’ she said, wondering what she could do next.
The next morning, Hannah was up before dawn, so that she could spend an hour or so searching the streets for Ruby, but there was no sign of her anywhere. Arriving late at the infirmary, she missed breakfast and went straight to the ward to prepare Oliver for surgery.
‘You seem happy today.’ She unfastened his cast and bathed his back.
‘It’s being so cheerful that keeps me going. That’s what Ma says. She’s coming in to see me this afternoon.’
‘I hope you’ll be awake by the time she gets here. The chlorof
orm makes one very drowsy.’
‘They’re going to saw you in half,’ Ronald said from beside him.
‘That isn’t right – Mr Anthony is going to remove the parts that have gone bad, that’s all,’ Hannah said.
‘You won’t leave me, will you, Sister?’
‘Nurse Huckstep will sit with you for now, but I’ll make sure that I’ve finished my duties in time to accompany you to theatre. How about that?’
‘That’s good.’ He smiled.
‘You aren’t yourself, Hannah,’ Alice said when she went to find her. ‘What’s wrong? I wanted to talk to you last night, but you disappeared off home without a word.’
‘I wasn’t going to worry anyone else with it, but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. Ruby’s gone missing.’
‘Missing?’ Alice raised her eyebrows. ‘She has vanished, or run away?’
‘She left me a note to say she was leaving.’
‘She’s gone home?’
‘This is her home. No, she has got herself into a bit of a—’
‘Ah, I thought as much.’
‘I’m so angry and upset. I’ve done my best to help her, and she’s let me down. I’ve been looking for her all over Margate, but I can’t find her. I’ve written to my stepmother and uncle in Canterbury, and I’ve tried to find out the Allspices’ address in case she’s gone there. I don’t know what else to do.’
‘Have you looked at the patient records? Mr Allspice would have had to give his address when he was admitted.’ Hannah’s spirits lifted a little as Alice continued, ‘Let me do that for you later. Have you reported her missing to the police? They’re perfectly acquainted with all parts of the town – I think you should notify them, so they can keep an eye out for her.’
‘That’s a good idea. I’ll call at the police station at lunchtime. You won’t say anything, will you?’
‘My lips are sealed.’
Hannah turned and looked back down the ward. ‘Will you sit with Oliver for me until Mr Anthony sends for him?’
Later, Hannah took Oliver to theatre where Mr Anthony’s assistant put him to sleep with a chloroform mask. As his hand relaxed in hers, she whispered him good luck and let him go, watching the pretty theatre nurse wheel the trolley away into the next room with its panorama of Westbrook Bay, where the surgeon would carry out the procedure. Having left her patient, she took advantage of her break to visit the police station after she’d had a quick word with Mrs Knowles to say that Ruby was still unwell. The police sergeant was sympathetic, but unhelpful. Ruby had left home of her own accord. There was no evidence of coercion or kidnap, so he could do nothing. As for finding the Allspices’ address, Alice had no better luck. The address given in the patient records didn’t exist – she’d checked discreetly with one of the maids who knew Ramsgate well – which meant that Hannah was no further forward in her search.