by Jennie Lucas
“Oh, no.” Hana’s lovely face looked stricken as she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“It’s not your fault—none of it is your fault!”
“I know,” he lied. He shrugged. “It helped me, really. Made me stronger. Gave me ambition.”
“Did you ever find out why your parents left you on those church steps?”
“No.”
“There had to be some reason—”
“It doesn’t matter.” His voice held an edge. “I just wanted you to understand why, even at eighteen, I knew I didn’t want to be a father.” He thought of telling her about Isabella, but that was a step too far. He took a deep breath. “But you’re pregnant. Everything has changed.”
She gave a weak smile. “Because the vasectomy failed. For all you know, you might have children all over the world you’ve never heard about.”
He rolled his eyes. “Unlikely.”
“How do you know?”
“Because no woman has come to my house with a baby in her arms, begging for her fair share of my fortune.”
“You really do believe the worst of everyone.”
Antonio looked at her.
“Except you,” he said quietly.
Coming forward, he gently traced his hands along the shoulders of her silk robe. He felt her shiver beneath his touch—or was he the one who was shivering? He dropped his hands.
“I can’t abandon you, or this baby,” he said in a low voice. “I might not have planned for this, but now it’s happened, I can’t leave my child to wonder, night after night, what flaw he could have possibly had from birth, that made him unworthy of a parent’s love, unworthy of family or home.”
Hana gave a choked gasp. “My baby will never feel that way! I will be there. Always.”
“Yes. But he’d always wonder about his father.” Emotion went through Antonio. He couldn’t let this baby feel as he once had. Unworthy. Unwanted. Rejected.
“I will find someone...”
Her voice trailed off at his sharp gaze. “Tanaka?”
She shook her head. “But...but someone. A partner.”
Antonio exhaled, knowing she was right. “Any man would want you,” he said quietly. “But even with the best stepfather on earth, the baby will always wonder about me. Why I left. What will you tell him?”
“The truth.” Her hands tightened at her sides, and her beautiful face looked down as she added, “There’s no other answer.”
The truth. That Antonio was a selfish, shallow playboy, more interested in his airline than his child. That he didn’t have the capacity, or the desire, to commit. Not to his child. He looked at Hana. Not to her.
Unless...
Staring at her bowed head, he blinked, and the world seemed to spin on its axis. Suddenly, the solution was astonishingly clear.
The only way to get everything he wanted. To protect his child. To have Hana in his bed. Everything.
As they stood across from each other in her hotel suite, he said bluntly, “You know I don’t love you.”
“Of course you don’t.” She rolled her eyes. “Luckily, I don’t love you either. Heaven help any woman who does.”
He gave a wry smile, then his expression became serious. “But you’ve never betrayed me. Not once. You’re the one person I trust most on earth. The one I most respect.”
“Thanks.” Hana snorted a low laugh. “That changes nothing.”
She was trying to protect herself from hurt. He knew that cynical tone. He’d used it himself. “It changes everything.”
“How?”
“I want you in my bed. I want you in my company and in my life. And...” He took a deep breath. “I want to be a real father to our baby.”
Her lips parted as she said hoarsely, “What are you saying?”
His lips curved as he looked down at her. “I want you to marry me, Hana.”
* * *
Hana stared at him.
The twilight from the hotel penthouse’s windows left a strange reddish glow on his hard, handsome face, leaving a shadow behind him on the translucent shōji doors of the suite.
Had he gone crazy—or had she?
Marriage?
“Is this a joke?” she choked out.
“I’m deadly serious.”
She stammered, “You don’t want to marry anyone.”
“I just asked you.” Antonio lifted his dark eyebrows. “But perhaps I didn’t do it properly?”
In front of her horrified eyes, he folded his powerful body, falling to one knee before her. Taking both her hands in his own, he looked up. “Hana Everly, will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?”
“Stop it,” she hissed, tugging on his hands. “Stand up.”
Slowly, he rose back to his feet. His dark gaze burned through her. “Will you?”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I need an answer.”
“My answer is no!”
The humor fled from his face. He said tersely, “Might I ask why?”
“For starters—you just said you don’t love me!”
“Love only brings pain.”
Hana thought of her parents’ passionate love, their constant drama, and had to admit he maybe had a point. Then she raised her chin. “How would you even know?”
“I tried it once,” Antonio said quietly. “A waitress. When I was eighteen and broke and stupid.”
Hana’s jaw dropped.
“You—loved someone?” she gasped. “You?”
“I was a virgin,” he said ironically. “I thought I loved her because she took me to her bed. She told me it was hilarious and dumped me a few months later.” He tilted his head. “And you, Hana? What experience have you had with love that makes you think it’s necessary, or even good, for a marriage?”
She thought again about how excluded she’d felt, as her parents had focused solely on each other, on fighting and kisses, dragging their daughter around the world almost like an afterthought.
Biting her lip, she looked away.
“So,” Antonio said softly. “You do have some experience with love after all.”
“Not me,” she said unwillingly. “But my parents. They were so in love, they—they sometimes forgot about me.”
He took her hand. She felt the comfort of his touch, the heat of his palm against hers, and her whole body shivered.
She heard herself ask, “What happened to her?”
“Who?” His fingers tightened around hers.
Her cheeks burned. “The waitress.”
“Ah.” His lips curved. “She left me for a rich, elderly Frenchman. But she came crawling back when she heard I’d made my fortune.”
“And?”
He shrugged. “I was no longer interested.”
“Of course not.” She looked up at his handsome, implacable face. “But marriage is a commitment for a lifetime.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“Your longest love affair lasted six weeks.”
His dark eyes flashed with amusement, his shoulders suddenly relaxing beneath his sleekly tailored coat. “You were paying attention?”
She bit her lip, hating that she’d revealed so much. She said defiantly, “It was my job to pay attention. To clean up your messes when you ghosted a girl and she came sobbing to me, wondering why you’d suddenly stopped calling when she’d thought she was on the fast track to earning your heart!”
“So that’s why you brought Madison the camera for Christmas? You wanted her to think I was a good boyfriend?”
“For all the good it did.” She scowled. “I can’t believe you’d break up with someone on Christmas morning. Not even you.”
“It seemed the only decent thing to do.”
S
he choked a laugh. “Decent?”
“Yes. Decent.” His eyes met hers. “Because when you showed up with her gift that night, I realized you were the only woman I wanted. How could I be with Madison after that?”
Hana’s throat went dry.
“I’ve been faithful to you ever since then.” He shook his head ruefully. “Against my will. I had no choice. Because I wanted no other woman. Just you.”
Her heart was pounding. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I couldn’t let myself seduce you.”
“Why?”
“You were too important. I was afraid if I took you to my bed, I’d end up breaking your heart, and then my company would lose the best damn secretary in the world.”
“Then you fired me anyway.”
Antonio gave a rueful laugh. “Not my finest moment. Can I hire you back?”
“I haven’t decided,” she said faintly. What was happening? The hotel suite was spinning around her. Antonio, proposing marriage? Was this all a dream?
“Marry me, Hana,” he said in a low voice. “I’ll be faithful to you until the day I die.”
“How can you be sure?”
“You’re the only woman I desire.” He cupped her cheek. “The one I trust.”
She shivered at his nearness, trying not to notice the weight and warmth of his hand against her skin, sending a spiral of sparks down her body. She was suddenly aware that she wore only a creamy silk negligee and robe against her skin. She wasn’t even wearing panties beneath.
His hand moved slowly down the edge of her bare neck. He repeated, “Marry me.”
She trembled as he pulled her into his arms. Standing in the middle of the penthouse suite, her feet bare on the tatami mat, Hana tilted her head to look up at his handsome face.
“You’re going to have my baby.” He gently placed his large hand against her belly, sliding over the sensual silk of her robe. “You belong to me,” he said huskily. Lowering his head toward hers, he whispered, “As I belong to you...”
Her knees went weak as his lips possessed hers. He was so much larger than she was, so broad-shouldered and strong. She surrendered to his embrace, lost in sensation as their kiss intensified.
His hands cupped the back of her head, lightly brushing down her long dark hair as he caressed slowly down her back, causing the silk to slide over her naked skin.
Pressed against his fully clothed body, she felt his heat and strength, which he tempered and held back, holding her as if she were a precious treasure. Her nipples tightened as they brushed against his suit and tie, her swollen breasts sensitive and heavy. Tension coiled low and deep inside her.
How long had her body cried out to be in Antonio’s arms, held with such passionate tenderness? How long had her soul thirsted to hear words like this from anyone?
No wonder the penthouse seemed to spin around her. She was dreaming. She had to be dreaming!
And she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to wake up...
Her hands wrapped around his shoulders as she kissed him back with all the longing in her heart. As he deepened the embrace, she felt a sudden urgency, a need to have him closer, to block out the small voice in the back of her mind that was shouting that she needed to stop this, stop it before it was too late. Reaching under his dark cashmere coat, she lifted it off his shoulders and pulled it down his back.
She felt his approval, his answering need. Before the coat had even dropped to the floor, he was yanking off his tie and jacket, unbuttoning his cuffs. Never breaking the kiss, she reached to undo his shirt, desperate to feel the bare skin of his hard-muscled chest beneath her fingertips. The last button caught. Urgently, she yanked hard on the shirt, feeling it finally rip and give way as that too dropped to the floor.
With a low growl, he lifted her up in his arms, against his bare chest, and carried her into the bedroom. Looking up at him breathlessly, she ran her hand along his powerful muscles, lightly dusted with dark hair. His tanned skin felt like satin beneath her hands as she traced over the hard curves of his pecs, brushing his taut nipples with her fingertips, and down farther, to the flat, hard plane of his belly.
Releasing her, he let her slide down his body, the silk caressing her skin, and set her to her feet.
They faced each other in front of the enormous bed.
Reaching out, he undid the belt of her robe, pulling it off her shoulders. As it fell softly to the floor, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck. With a soft gasp, Hana closed her eyes, letting her long dark hair tumble down her back, brushing against the bare skin of her shoulders. Her nipples felt exquisitely sensitive against her nightgown, which left her arms and collarbone bare.
“You belong to me, Hana,” he whispered against her skin. “Say it.”
“I...” She caught her breath, her heart pounding. It was true. She belonged to him. She had from the day they’d met, when he’d given her that carelessly charming smile and said, So I hear you’re the best secretary in the world and I’m a fool if I don’t hire you immediately. But if she told him she belonged to him, if she said the words aloud, she was afraid she would be lost—lost forever. What next?
Would she agree to marry him?
Raise their child together?
Fall in love with him?
No. That would be a disaster. As crazy as her own parents’ marriage had been, at least they’d both loved each other. Hana couldn’t imagine the lonely desperation of being trapped in a marriage with a man she loved, who didn’t love her back.
And how long would she be able to keep her heart cold, if she married Antonio, and every day, she watched him be a loving father to their child, and every night, he made love to Hana with fiery passion in their bed? How long?
“Say it,” he commanded.
Wordlessly, she shook her head.
Antonio gave a sensual smile. Lowering his head to hers, he whispered, “You will...”
His kiss was gentle, deepening until it was so passionate, it was almost overwhelming. She gasped as explosive pleasure ricocheted from her scalp to the hollows of her feet.
Reaching up, she held him tightly. But she couldn’t give in to the temptation of being his wife. Perhaps once he possessed her again, he’d lose interest. Soon, perhaps tomorrow, he would remember that he was a workaholic playboy who had no interest in marriage or children. He’d leave her and the baby in peace.
But until then...
She couldn’t stop. She couldn’t let go. No one else had ever made her feel like this, so alive.
“Querida,” he whispered against her lips. And she realized he was trembling. Was it possible that he felt the same overwhelming desire beyond reason that she did? No, surely not with all his experience. And yet...
“Kiss me,” she breathed. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to think.
He held her tight, plundering her mouth with his own, the tip of his tongue teasing and luring her until she no longer knew where he ended and she began. She felt him pull the straps of her nightgown from her shoulders, and it slipped down her body in a soft blur of silk, leaving her naked in front of him in the darkened bedroom.
He slowly looked her over, from her pregnancy-swollen breasts to the soft curve of her belly and hips. His hot gaze lifted, as he unbuttoned his black trousers and pulled off the rest of his clothes, until he stood proudly naked in front of her, his shaft huge and hard.
Falling back on the enormous bed, he pulled her against him, kissing her. Rolling her beneath him, he kissed slowly down her body, cupping her breasts, suckling her until she gasped with pleasure, her back curving up from the bed. She felt the roughness of his tongue swirling against the tight, aching flesh of her nipple, and panted for breath, nearly exploding.
“No, my sweet,” he murmured. “Not yet.”
He moved down her body, gentle over her belly, before
he gripped her hips. He lowered his head and she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling dizzy.
He teased her, kissing along the edge of her hip as his hands spread her thighs wide. She felt the warmth of his breath, causing prickles of need to rush up and down her body. Lowering his head, he took a long deep taste.
She gasped, shaking. The pleasure was almost too great, and she tried to twist her hips away. But he was relentless. The tip of his tongue moved delicately against her, twisting and swirling around her. He held her down, tempting her to accept the pleasure, working her with his tongue as he pressed a thick finger inside her, then another, pushing deeper, wider, until she exploded.
As she cried out, he moved, lifting his body to position his hips between her legs. Even as she was still shaking with explosions of pleasure, he took a deep breath, then pushed himself inside her, thrusting his full length so deep, deep, deep inside her, until the blazing fire consumed her, and she cried out his name.
* * *
Antonio held his breath. He was so deep inside her. He wanted to make this last. He was good at this; he always had been. He’d always had stamina. He could make sex last as long as he wanted. All he had to do was remove his mind from his body. All he had to do was not care.
He would make Hana agree to marry him. He would possess her forever. He just had to stay in control. He had to make her lose her mind. Make her surrender.
But as he felt Hana tighten around him, something felt different. He felt different. Shocked, he tried to pull his mind away, his heart, and not care.
But for the first time in his life, it didn’t work.
He felt everything, every exquisite sensation. The brush of her soft body beneath his. The satin of her skin. The vision of her long dark hair spread across the pillow, the way her full plump breasts swayed against his arms straining to hold himself up from her.