“Not anymore. I liked her when I was in high school, but she was two years ahead of me and never paid me much attention. Well, not until I told her two days ago.”
“You told her?” My heart thudded inside its cage. “How did she react?”
“Like she did when we were kids. She rejected me then and now. No matter, though. It would be weird for me to date her, I think.”
I couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief wash over me. “Okay.”
“You look relieved.” He lifted his chin the same way our father used to when he was trying to get at the truth.
I struggled not to flinch or falter. “I do?”
“For sure.” He gripped the desk and pulled his chair in closer. “What were you calling me for, anyway?”
“Right …” I suddenly remembered what I’d needed Pax for. But now, considering the conversation, I realized how uncomfortable it would be to ask him for Carla’s home address.
“Never mind,” I ended up saying. “It can wait until morning.”
“Clearly not. What did you need?”
“See, now you’re making this awkward.”
“How?”
Pax was fishing, which meant he already knew something. I was as good as a trout on a hook. Out came a sigh of resignation.
“I need Carla’s home address.”
“Wow, you want to move in on her now that you know I won’t be doing the same? That was fast.”
“Pax.” Irritation swarmed my insides, giving my voice a don’t-mess-with-me tone.
“I’m teasing. What do you need it for?”
“I can’t say.” More like I didn’t want to say.
“Yes, you can. You just don’t want to.”
“You’re damn right.”
“Tell me you guys are screwing and get it over with.”
“Pax,” I said with the best imitation of our father’s low growl I could muster.
He laughed as he rolled across the floor on his chair to look through a drawer. “God, you’re easy to wind up. And besides,” he said, eyeing me mischievously, “Carla already told me.”
“No, she didn’t, because we haven’t slept together.”
“Fine, but you were out at the creek with her.”
“Also false.”
“No, that part’s true. She admitted to it.”
I cursed. “How are you so good at this?”
“At what?”
“Finding shit out. Why are you working in construction? You’d make a damn good detective.”
“I considered it once.” He surprised me as he handed me Carla’s address.
“Why didn’t you ever go for it?”
“Working with my brothers sounded like a much better use of my time.”
“You mean you could slack off this way.”
Pax’s eyes widened. “You wound me. Tell me one deadline I haven’t hit.”
I thought for a few seconds but couldn’t think of any. “Okay, fine. You don’t slack off, but you must spend hours in the office at night to get everything done. I swear to God you do nothing during the day.”
Pax’s lips curled into a small smile. “It’s altogether possible. Then again, I’m different than others, or haven’t you noticed? During the day, I’m building your houses, or mowing Lucy’s lawn or helping Rachel Wilkes at the store.”
His answer took me aback, but it was getting late, and I needed to go. I got out of my chair, patted his shoulder, and headed for the door.
“Don’t tell Eli about Carla.”
“Hell if I’ll stick to that agreement.”
“Come on, Pax.”
“Give me one good reason to keep it private.”
“I’m your big brother, and I’m asking.”
His expression looked like he wanted to challenge me further, but then he sighed.
“Fine. You better not want to keep it quiet because you’re ashamed of her or something stupid like that.”
“In what world could I be ashamed of being associated with a woman like her?”
He waved a dismissive hand. “Good point. Go get your important business sorted.” He gave me a sly smile. “Glove it before you love it.”
“It’s not like that.” Yet, I thought to myself. “Thanks for the address.”
“Anytime.”
Once I got into my car and headed toward Carla’s house, I wondered why Pax often spent hours of his days not working, only to come in and waste his evenings catching up. Something told me he came back after our Friday beers as well. Was he lonely? Was he depressed?
It was sad to admit, but I hardly knew anything about him that he hadn’t told me himself. The same could be said about me. That would have to change. Six years age difference shouldn’t be an insurmountable gap to close.
When I pulled in front of Carla’s house, I was glad to see that the lights were on. There were several reasons to not answer. My mind swam with all of them. She was asleep. She was cooking. Her phone was dead. She could be with someone else. The last thought made my jaw tic and my stomach tense. I didn’t like the thought of Carla being with anyone but me. If she was, I was going to break that shit up right away. Carla was mine. Though we’d shared a few kisses and a bit of groping, in my heart, she belonged to me. That thought shook me to my core. I tucked it away as I walked to her door and rang the bell.
It took a full minute for her to answer.
I wasn’t expecting her to be wrapped in a towel and nothing else.
“Was I interrupting something?” I asked, glancing down at the soapy suds still clinging to her beautiful legs.
She raised an eyebrow. “I was having a bath.”
“Ah, shit, sorry. I’ll … go.”
Carla laughed. “After coming all this way? Don’t be ridiculous. Come on in.”
As she closed the door behind me, it abruptly struck me that I’d forgotten the reason I came over to her house in the first place.
My mind was unquestionably on Carla in that towel … and what lay beneath it.
If she stayed tucked in terry cloth, this would be an impossible meeting.
Chapter Sixteen
Carla
I couldn’t believe Owen was on my front porch.
I looked over my shoulder as he followed me through the hallway. His laser focus on my legs made me extremely aware of the fact I was only wearing a towel. “How did you find out where I live?” I deliberately hadn’t told him to avoid suspicion from my brother. Yet, he had found out.
“Pax may have told me where to go.” He looked embarrassed as if he thought asking for my address had crossed a line.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Yes. The asshole. Too nosy for his own good.”
I laughed. “You weren’t joking when you said he could find out anything. He’s generally quiet, but he’s observant. The silent ones always get you. Going through him must have been like running a gauntlet.”
“It was.” He looked around the living room. “Did you not want me to know where you live?”
“I didn’t want Rich to get any weird ideas or ask me about you, but it wasn’t a secret.” I pointed to the kitchen. “White or red?”
“Wine? Sounds good.” He glanced past me to where several bottles sat on the counter. “Red, I suppose.”
“Good choice.”
I retrieved two glasses and an unopened bottle of expensive wine that I’d been looking for an excuse to drink for ages. Owen let out a low whistle when I joined him on the sofa and uncorked the bottle.
“That’s some nice-looking wine. What’s the occasion?”
“The occasion is that Rich hasn’t been home in a week. That means I get the living room to myself.” The words were joyful, but my voice was sad. Rich had all but abandoned me.
I avoided looking at Owen as I handed him a full glass.
“Your argument with him was that bad?”
There was no way I’d go into detail about it. I was far too embarrassed to recount how I’d f
lung my cup of cocoa at the wall. It was a waste of good milk and chocolate, not to mention it took me an hour to clean up after my temper tantrum.
“As far as sibling disagreements go, it was over the top.”
“Want to talk about it?”
The issue needed a discussion but with Rich, not Owen. “Not particularly … no. If that’s okay with you.”
He smiled warmly. “That’s fine, but I’m here if you want to talk later.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that.”
We drank our wine in silence for a minute or two, so I put the television on until I found a music channel for background noise.
“Sorry for interrupting your bath,” he finally said.
“I was getting out when the doorbell rang, anyway.”
I looked down and remembered I was still only wearing a towel. How could I have forgotten so quickly? I pushed to my feet. “Umm, I’m should get changed.”
“Do you have to?” he replied flirtatiously.
I glanced at him. His eyes were full of lust and desire, causing my insides to squirm and heat in an entirely pleasant way. I let out a gentle laugh. “Nice try. I’ll only be a minute.”
I all but ran up the stairs to my bedroom, flinging off the towel to throw on a camisole top and a pair of cotton shorts. I fluffed my hair in the mirror, carefully considering how I looked.
Not too done up, but not too plain either. Just right for a glass of wine in nice, comfortable clothes with a guy I wholeheartedly wanted to…
I stopped my train of thought right there, slapping myself on both cheeks to bring me back to reality. Owen had come around to discuss business. I was the one being unprofessional.
Although, if the way he’d been looking at me was anything to go by, he was thinking the same thing. That was dangerous. It was also tempting. I wanted to give in to my desire, but I couldn’t. At least I shouldn’t.
When I returned to the living room, Owen smiled as he took in my bare legs.
“Okay, I enjoyed the towel, but this outfit is pretty awesome, too.”
I glanced down at my clothes. The fabric was thin enough that he could see all the curves of my body, but considering we’d gone swimming in our underwear together, it wasn’t something that bothered me.
“Don’t get distracted, Mr. Cooper,” I chastised. “What was it that couldn’t wait until I looked at my phone?”
He pulled out a file and opened it to several pages of information.
“So, basically, it’s my nerves. I need to go over things once more.”
“Says the man who claimed that once it was on paper, he was fine.”
For an hour, we sat on the sofa, drinking wine, and going over Owen’s plan. We steadily grew tipsy and shifted closer as the minutes ticked by until our arms were almost touching.
Eventually, Owen sank into the back of the sofa with a satisfied sigh. “I’m glad we went over that. A pinch of anxiety had settled in.”
“Not a problem,” I replied. “Are you okay now?” I topped off our glasses.
“Yep, I’ll live. What about you?” He looked around the house. “Rich hasn’t come home for a week?”
I paused. “Did you pluck that thought from the sky?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just curious.”
I waved a hand around the living room. “This was our parents’ house. It’s big, and the mortgage was paid off, so it seemed foolish to live anywhere else. Generally, we get along. At least, we never had a problem until now.”
I made a face. Owen responded with a sympathetic smile.
“As much as I love my brothers, I can’t for the life of me imagine living with them as adults. It was bad enough being forced to live under the same roof when we were kids.”
“You’re all hulking giants, so I imagine you’d need a behemoth of a house so you’d all fit.”
Owen nodded. “Very true.”
I considered my next question carefully. “You clearly get along, but Eli is the only one who knows about your attacks. Why is that?”
He pulled at the collar of his shirt until it stretched and hung loosely around his neck. “You know, truth be told, I was thinking about this earlier while I talked to Pax. He doesn’t know all that much about me. I don’t know enough about him, either. Certainly not what went on during his high school and college years. I always thought … I don’t know. That if it needed to be said, it would.”
“And you don’t think your health is something your brother needs to know about?”
He exhaled. “Don’t look at me like that. I realize he should know, but it hasn’t been a serious problem in a long time.” He shook his head. “You know what, that’s a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to talk about something like this with them. I don’t know why.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s a lie, too. I don’t want to appear as weak as I sometimes feel.”
My lips stretched to a thin line. “Have you had one recently?”
“Last year,” he admitted, a small, sad smile on his face. “My father passed away. It was sudden. He wasn’t the same after Mom died. The loss of her started the end of him.”
He paused for a minute or two, taking a long drink of wine in lieu of speaking. I waited patiently for him to continue. This wasn’t the type of conversation that should be rushed.
“Anyway, it hit me that my dad dying left me as the eldest Cooper. The one who’d have to look after my brothers. It was stupid. We were all grown adults. I’m probably the one who needs the most looking after, all things considered …”
“But you didn’t tell Eli about that attack?”
He shook his head. “He was the closest to Dad. He took his death the hardest. I didn’t want to put all my shit on him too, so I … just dealt with it.”
I pinned him with a stern look. “How do you deal with it?”
“Same way I did in New York, before Eli walked in on me having one. I waited it out alone in my room. I didn’t talk to anyone for a few days. Everyone thought it was due to grief, and I suppose it was true, but it was more. My body hurt so bad from not being able to breathe and the convulsions and the—the being sick. Sorry”—he laughed humorlessly—“this isn’t exactly stuff you want to find out about over red wine on a Friday night. Not the kind of stuff I’ve told anyone but you.” He looked at me with something like appreciation.
I put my hand on his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze as I resisted the urge to cry.
“It’s okay, Owen. I’m glad you’re telling someone, even if it isn’t your brothers, but I think they need to know, just in case. You shouldn’t be alone if you have another attack.”
He let out a bark of laughter. “Hell if I’m going to let them see me like that. I’d never hear the end of it.”
It was so much easier to offer advice than to take it. “For brothers who seem like they’re so close, you sure have a lot of secrets and excuses.”
“A wise woman told me excuses are the lies we tell ourselves. Turns out a fair amount of excuses somehow morph into secrets.”
“You and your brothers seem to lie to yourselves a lot.”
“What do you know?” he asked. “Are the others keeping something from me? Did Pax say something? Ah, never mind.” He waved a hand half-heartedly. “It’s not right for me to hear about anything secondhand. If they want to tell me, they will.”
“I think that’s the problem all of you have.” A low growl left my throat. “You think the others will say something if and when they want, but sometimes you have to push, you know?”
“That’s not how we do things.”
“So, change how you do things.”
“You say that as if it’s easy.”
“That’s because it is.”
Owen downed the rest of his wine. “Coming from someone who isn’t speaking to her brother, I think I’ll delay following you off the edge of the cliff.”
“You know that’s unfair,” I replied, pouting. “Rich and I have disagreed like this before, but he
never took off. He’s abandoned me. I don’t know how to deal with it, and apparently neither does he. He wants me to give in and agree with him. I’m holding my ground.”
“Is being stubborn normal for the two of you?”
“No, not really. I guess he was always the one making allowances.” The truth tasted bitter on my tongue. “Shit, I’m the bad guy here.”
“I somehow doubt that’s completely true.” He leaned in closer until our bodies touched from shoulder to ankle. “Maybe you should call him.”
“I tried.” Suddenly, I was fired up. “I’m trying to save the mill. He can have his tantrum after everything’s been resolved.”
“You mean after you get your way?”
I gave him a withering look. “If my way means the mill is saved, and his way is selling it, then I’ll pick my way this time. There’s more than us to consider.” It was hard to swallow the lump of guilt forming in my throat. There was no middle ground here. It came down to siding with Rich or siding with the best interests of the town. I had to go with the numbers. I’d figure out how to get back into my brother’s good graces once the dust settled.
“Fair enough.”
“You know, I never thought we would end up feeling this distant from our siblings. How did that happen?”
“Maybe it’s because we’ve said so much to each other that, upon reflection, what we tell our siblings seems incredibly inconsequential.” Owen stared out of the window at the night sky as if deep in thought. Then he shook his head. “That’s how I feel, anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to someone about myself as honestly as I have with you.”
I didn’t know why, but I put down my wine glass and kissed him.
It took Owen by surprise, but he eagerly reciprocated. Without looking, he placed his own glass on the table, then wrapped his arms around me and deepened the kiss, collapsing onto the couch while he pulled me on top of him.
When our lips finally disconnected, he asked, “What was that for?”
“I don’t know. I hadn’t realized how lonely I’d been before I met you.”
“That’s … sad.”
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