by J Peach
“Answer me this first. Why you chose to tell me all this shit? You don’t look like the type of kid that’ll open up to just anybody. Why me?” The fact that he was so open to tell me about everything really fucked with me.
“Honestly?” he questioned, and I nodded. “I saw Montrell’s face, and it was beat the hell up. I heard him telling my momma that you and your brother jumped him. Well, I didn’t know it was you until my momma said your name. So, I figured you didn’t like him… and maybe I could pay you to beat him up again.” Dude didn’t blink, and his eyes never left mine. The look on his face was straight seriousness.
I fell the fuck out laughing hard. He was serious as fuck. “First off, yo’ young ass ain’t got enough money to pay me to do shit. You a funny ass little dude. What the fuck is yo’ name?”
“I’m a little funny, and I’m Kae. I got some money saved up, and I’m pretty sure I can afford you.” He looked me up as if in thought. “You don’t seem too expensive. You look like you’ll work for maybe…” His eyes squinted as he continued to stare me up. “Maybe fifteen/twenty bucks.”
“Yo, fuck you.” I pushed his little ass away from me, and he started laughing.
“You must don’t be around kids a lot. You know you don’t suppose to cuss at them, right?” He pointed out.
When he said that, it dawned on me that I literally said, fuck you to a child. “Oh, shit, my bad. Yeah, I ain’t used to being around kids.” I shrugged, and he nodded.
“Did you and yo’ brother really jump Montrell?” he questioned.
I laughed and shook my head. “Hell no. I beat his ass myself. My brother had to pull me off that nigga. Man, don’t believe everything you hear, and I hope like fuck yo’ moms didn’t believe his ass.”
“Why you beat him up?” He continued with his questions.
My hand rubbed over my head. “I didn’t like how he handled yo’ momma,” I told him straight up.
For a child, the dude was easy to talk to. I chuckled a little at my own thoughts. Who would’ve thought I would be having a civil conversation with a damn kid?
“So, you really like my momma, huh?” His eyes were slanted into a harsh little glare as he stared expectantly at me. “You don’t have to lie. I’m not gonna do nothing to you.”
Again, I broke out laughing. “Yeah, she’s a cool ass female and smart as fuck.” He nodded at that. “Tell me this. Is she really good? She ain’t been to work these past couple days, and I’m worried about her ass, for real.”
That intensive glare came over his face as he took me in once again. The look made my ass feel uncomfortable as fuck, like the nigga was in my head with a telescope or something, looking straight into me.
“Yeah, she is okay. She’s just a little hurt. You must love yo’ momma too, huh?” He asked.
A loud snort left my mouth. “Fuck no. That bitch the reason me and my brother got locked the fuck up…” It wasn’t until the words left my mouth that I realized I shouldn’t have said that shit to him. Little dude was just a fuckin’ kid. “I mean…” My hand rubbed over my mouth as I thought on how to better explain that to him. “Remember I told you I killed my pops because he was whooping on my moms?”
Kae nodded at that with furrowed brows.
“Like you, I thought I needed to be my momma’s protector, but she ain’t wanna be saved. She loved the fuck out of my pops. I mean, no matter how many times he damn near killed all our asses, she still loved him. My moms hated us for trying to protect her, and she got both of us sent to jail because we took the love of her life away. That’s why I’m telling you to stay out that shit with yo’ momma and dude ass.”
“Damn…” he mumbled before shaking his head. “Well, my momma ain’t like yours. She wanna leave Montrell for good. That’s why we still living in the hotel because she doesn’t wanna be with him no more. She’s been looking for us a new house and everything.”
I hummed at that and nodded. “Y’all still at that one hotel I saw y’all at?” It was fucked up to get information out the youngin’ for my own personal reasons, but shid, I had to make sure Janessa was straight.
He nodded. “Yeah, we still there, but not in the same room. We moved a floor down because of everything that happened with Trell. I think it’s room one-twelve. But we’re not gonna be there for long, though. I told you, she’s trying to find us a crib…” His words trailed off, and he groaned. “Oh, shit, here comes Mr. Franks. Act like you’re teaching me something.” Kae spoke in a rush as an old, balding brown man came our way.
“Kaeden, didn’t we say not to leave the group?” The older man scowled at him.
Kaeden seemed annoyed before he looked away from me. “I know, Mr. Franks, but I had to pee, and I saw my momma’s friend,” he pointed to me, “over here and asked him where the bathroom was, then we started talking,” he lied smoothly.
My hand rubbed over my mouth so I wouldn’t laugh out loud at his damn lie. Mr. Franks glanced at me as if waiting for me to vouch for his story.
“This little dude been over here for damn near a whole hour, and yo’ ass just now realizing he was gone?” I asked the man. “I’m glad I know his damn momma and wasn’t no creepy type of nigga. Y’all need to do a better fuckin’ job with supervising these gotdamn kids,” I snapped at him, and the man looked surprised by my reply. I got off the bench, hoping like hell the old nigga didn’t say shit to me. I really didn’t want to converse with that mothafucka. I wanted to get the fuck out of the gym and head back to the hotel where Janessa was. “I’ight, Kae, I’ll see you later. I’m about to cut out of here.”
“I’ight, Jerome.” His hand came out, and I slapped it. “I’ll see you later on. Next time I come up here, you can teach me something.”
I laughed at him. “Bet, I got you.”
He nodded. “Come on, Mr. Franks.” He motioned for the older man to follow him as I walked off.
I went straight to the locker room and hopped in the shower.
Once I got to Janessa’s floor, I went to her door and banged on that bitch hard as hell to make sure she heard me pounding.
“What the hell?” Janessa said from inside the room, which was soon followed up with, “Shit!”
The other side of the room got quiet as hell. I waited for a few seconds to see if she was going to open the door. When she didn’t make an attempt to, I banged on the door again. “Janessa, open the damn door. I know yo’ ass in there. I just heard you.”
A loud groan sounded from the other side of the door. “What are you doing here?” she called out.
I glared at the door. “Janessa, open the damn door, man.”
After a few seconds, the door opened slowly, and Janessa came into view, wearing a pair of big, black sunglasses.
My eyes slid to her healing, busted lip, and the bruise on her cheek.
“What are you doing here?” she asked without moving from in front of the door. “How did you even know I was here?”
It took me a second to get a lock on my anger so I wouldn’t snap at her. I ignored her second question and answered the first, hoping that it sounded good enough that she didn’t realize it. “You weren’t answering my calls and didn’t come to work for the past couple of days, so I had to come and see how you were.”
She nodded at what I said then glanced behind her. “Thanks, but you really shouldn’t have come. I’m fine.” She glanced back at me, and from how her body shifted, I knew she was ready to close the door in my face.
“Don’t look like it. But, say I take yo’ word on that, you couldn’t pick up the fuckin’ phone and tell me that?” My tone was harsher than I intended it to be. “You ain’t gonna invite me in?”
She glanced behind her once more, then sighed and pushed the door open wider. “Come in, Jerome.” She sounded completely exhausted.
Once I stepped in, she closed the door and walked us into the living room. I watched her every movement and caught the slight wince as she sat down. Immediately after, her hand went to her
side.
“Janessa—”
“I’m fine, Jerome. I didn’t know you called; my phone is busted. The screen is completely black, and I don’t know your number by heart, so I couldn’t call you,” she explained.
I went over and sat on the little table that was in front of her. Janessa’s head lowered as if she was staring at her legs. I reached for her sunglasses, and she flinched back.
“I just wanna see…” I said as I removed the black shades from her face. The side of her eye was swollen and discolored. The anger in me amplified to a million. The sudden snap and the pinch in my palm caused me to look down and see that I had broken her sunglasses. “Tell me what you want me to do.” I prayed she told me to kill his ass.
Janessa’s head rose, and a look of confusion overtook her features. “What?”
As I sat there, I realized I didn’t need her to tell me shit. I could kill the nigga on my own. I dropped the broken glasses and got up.
Janessa quickly hopped up as well then and let out a painful grunt. “Jerome,” she called my name in a pain-stricken voice while grabbing my arm. “Just stop!” she snapped, pissed. “I don’t want you to do anything but stop. This isn’t your problem, it’s mine, so just fuckin’ stop, and stay out of it, please… You’re just going to make everything worse.”
Immediately, I had a sense of déjà vu as Janessa’s voice faded and was replaced by my moms, pissed off, pained one.
I didn’t ask you to do shit! What the fuck have you done? Oh, my God! No! Why didn’t you just stop… this wasn’t your fuckin’ problem, it was mine, he was mine, and you killed him! No!
I was slammed back into that fourteen-year-old, angry little boy who watched as my momma screamed and cried over my father’s lifeless body.
I nodded at what she said. “You right. This ain’t got shit to do with me. It’s your problem, so you deal with it yo’ way. I ain’t trying to make shit worse for you.” Although those words left my mouth, a part of me still wanted to do something to dude.
Janessa sighed and let my arm go. “Thank you,” she mumbled then sat back down. “You don’t have to leave, Jerome.”
I stopped walking. I didn’t want to leave, but I couldn’t stand to see her ass beat up so damn bad. “I ain’t trying to make shit worse for you, and if I stay here, looking at you in this condition, that’s exactly what I’mma do,” I told her honestly.
“Let me ask you something. Just know I don’t believe this, but I need to ask,” she said.
I stayed in my spot, already having a feeling about what her question was.
“Jerome, come sit down, it would be better if I could see your face,” she insisted.
“If you don’t believe it, what’s the point?” I glanced back at her.
“Because I want to ask you.” She motioned to the couch. Reluctantly, I went and sat down beside her. Grunting, she turned my way. “Did you and Jonell jump Montrell?”
My hand rubbed over my mouth before I licked my lips. “No, we didn’t jump him…” She let out a relieved breath. “I beat his ass myself.”
Janessa stared at me for a second, then shook her head. “I believe that. Jerome, why would you do that to him?”
My head tilted, and I chuckled at her question. “To be honest, I didn’t like how he handled you. He a punk ass nigga, and I hate those types of mothafuckas. Shid, and you pissed me off when yo’ ass dismissed me. I just knew yo’ ass was gonna go running right back to that nigga,” I told her straight up, although it was before we had gotten good.
Janessa grabbed my hands, bringing my gaze back to hers. “I’m not her, Jerome. Your mother—”
I jerked away from her, getting pissed off. “Why the fuck is you bringing that bitch up for? I ain’t never say you were her.” I didn’t know what the fuck my moms had to do with shit.
“I’m not saying you think I’m her, but that you see similarities in our situations. I don’t know why your momma stayed with your dad or why she would allow him to hurt y’all in that manner—”
“Yo, shut the fuck up. You don’t know shit and don’t think because yo’ ass done read some file on me, you should believe otherwise. Don’t speak on that shit, because yo’ ass don’t know a fuckin’ thing,” I snapped. The anger I felt made my tone harsh. I was pissed that she brought that bitch up.
Janessa’s hands went up. “Okay, you’re right. I shouldn’t be speaking on anything about you that I don’t know about. I apologize, I’m sorry.” She stared at me with such sincerity that I felt bad for snapping on her.
Janessa had this innocence about her that I liked and hated at the same fuckin’ time. Only because it made yelling at her feel so gotdamn wrong.
My hand rubbed over my head as I got my anger under control. “Don’t apologize. I was out of line for snapping at you.” I went back over to her and sat down. “I know you ain’t her…” My hands went to my head. “I don’t fuckin’ know.”
“Jerome, you don’t have to talk to me about it if you don’t want to. Believe me, I get it. But, if you ever do, I’m here.” Janessa’s soft hand went to the back of my neck, and slowly, she started stroking along the skin, up to the top of my head, then down again. “And, for the record, I didn’t dismiss you that day because you were trying to take up for me. I asked you to leave because I was really handling it. Trell was only there because I had been ignoring him. He’s been wanting me to move back home with him, but I refused to do so. I didn’t tell you that because…” She let out a little laugh, which made me look over at her. She was staring at her lap as her face turned red.
“Because of what?” The look on her face had me curious as hell to know.
Her eyes locked with mine before she rolled them. “It wasn’t your business, honestly. And because I didn’t want to like you, Jerome. So, I felt that maybe if you thought…” She laughed lightly and shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“That if I knew you had a nigga, I would step the fuck off?” I finished for her.
“Something like that.” Slowly, her smile faded. “Let me just say this, then I’m going to drop it. Until a couple days ago, Montrell has never hurt my kids. He hit my son on accident the other day, and once he did that, it calmed him down.” Janessa let out a low, soft breath as her eyes rolled.
After clearing her throat, she continued. “Our fighting has always stayed between us. We never even fought in front of my kids before. I left him for them and me. I should’ve done that sooner, but… I was in love with him in the beginning, and to be honest, it’s not easy leaving a person who has helped and done so much for you, regardless of everything. What Trell has done for us made me really become dependent on him, and that was the worst thing ever. We are different, Jerome, her and me. I could never let anyone hurt my kids and not do anything about it. Let alone stay with that person. We are different, your mom and me.”
Janessa really wanted me to see that she and my momma weren’t shit alike. I saw that as she spoke to me. Nessa’s kids were her life, and she would do anything for them.
“I see that. Y’all situations—”
“Similar, but they are different,” she finished, making sure I knew their situations were completely different. “I just don’t want you to see her when you look at me or think of my relationship with Montrell. Because they aren’t the same,” she stressed to me.
I nodded at that. “I hear you, and I ain’t never seen my moms in you, I can’t. Y’all don’t look shit alike. She’s a bit darker than you, with a big ass gap, and she’s baldheaded as fuck.”
Janessa chuckled and hit my arm. “You shouldn’t talk about her like that, regardless of her faults. But I’m glad we have this understanding, especially since it’s apparent you’re not going to leave me alone.”
I couldn’t see myself not fuckin’ with her either at that point. I didn’t know when it happened exactly, but I cared for her ass way more than I should have.
“Nah, I don’t see that happening no time soon.” My hand went to
her face, and I tilted it sideways, looking at the bruise.
Janessa’s hand covered mine. “It doesn’t feel as bad as it looks,” she assured me, but that didn’t matter.
“I still wanna beat that nigga’s ass for this shit,” I admitted as my eyes continued to roam over her face. I didn’t give a fuck for what she said; I already had something planned for that nigga.
Janessa’s hand once again covered mine, and she chuckled lightly. “I don’t know why, but I knew you was going to say that.” She smiled at me before hissing and thumbing her lip. “I’m really glad you came by. I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing you until you showed up.”
My brows rose at her confession. “Shid, it didn’t seem like that to me. Yo’ ass ain’t even wanna open the door or invite me in. Matter fact—”
Janessa's lips were on mine, cutting me off, but before she could get into the kiss, she grunted against my mouth. “Ah, shit.” She let out a heavy breath while holding her side.
I pulled back and looked at where her hand rested. “Let me see.” I had seen her grab that same side a few times, so I knew she had to have been bruised.
She waved me off. “It’s just a little sore—”
“I ain’t ask you that shit, man. I said, let me see it. Save that other shit you talkin’ about. Show me your fuckin’ side, Janessa.” I didn’t want to hear her telling me how shit was okay when she was wincing with every little fuckin’ movement.
She glared at me and shook her head. “No, I’m not going to show you. I see how you’re acting now, and I know you act on impulse, so no. It’s only going to make you mad, and I’m fine.”
I nodded at what she said. “Maybe you right. I still wanna see yo’ side. Sweetheart, I’m not about to argue with yo’ ass. Just let me see it.”
She sighed and stood up. I didn’t give her a chance to reach for the hem of her top. I took it and raised it. It looked like the nigga had stomped the fuck out of her side. The shit was still discolored. It looked bad as fuck, especially given her light skin complexion.