“I am not an alpha,” he admitted. “I am dominant by nature.”
“How so?” she teased. He caught her scent again, and she shifted where she stood, trying to relieve the ache between her legs.
“I want to dominate you,” he growled.
“All males want to dominate their mates,” she replied, not even flinching when she admitted what they were.
“This is different,” he said. “I want you to accept me, and I yearn to have you anyway I want you.”
“You want me to submit?” she guessed.
“Yes,” he replied with a nod.
“Will you punish me if I disobey?” she continued. Sweat broke out on her neck and the bumps on her skin returned. Her scent was still strong, and for a panther, that was a sign she was onboard with what he was asking of her, but his human side would never take that for granted. He needed her to speak the words.
“My punishments are pleasurable,” he admitted. “I would never lay a hand on you as your old alpha did, Jade.”
“Booth,” she breathed, closing her eyes.
She was quiet for the longest time. If he wanted to make her stay, all he had to do was touch her. As bad as he wanted her, he wouldn’t do anything to sway her decision. Jade may be a female, but she was an alpha and she had her own free will.
“I will let you decide what you want in this life,” he said through gritted teeth. “If you decide to leave, please tell Talon.”
“What about you?” she gasped when he stepped away.
“I will be fine,” he bluffed, knowing damn well he wasn’t ever going to be okay. “It’s your life, and I will respect your decisions.”
“Booth,” she called out as he turned for the door. He didn’t look over his shoulder when she called his name again. He just closed the door and left the dorm, heading toward his cabin on the other side of the property.
Tears blinded her as he walked out of her room. The outer door opened and closed with a slam. Sobs punched her in the chest as she sank to her knees. He was giving her the choice she had always wanted, and it hurt so fucking bad.
She wanted to be a Guardian, but it looked like the Shaw pride was not going to be her end game, even if her mate resided within. How did she choose between love and loyalty? She wanted to be loyal to a pride and prove she was capable of protecting them, but did she really want love? Did she want a mate?
Maybe?
Maybe not?
The thought of leaving Booth hurt. Oh, it hurt so much.
With all the strength she had left, Jade dressed and took her bag of belongings to her truck and tossed it inside. She didn’t scan the area to see if Booth was hanging around. He was probably at his cabin.
It was best if she left. There was a pride in Texas she would visit, and if that didn’t work out, there was one other one who was rumored to allow females to fight. If the one in Wyoming didn’t work out, she was going to have to figure out what she was going to do next.
The alpha’s home was eerily quiet as she entered. The cub’s caregiver, June, popped her head out of the kitchen and gave Jade a little wave before the female frowned at Jade’s tear-streaked face.
“Jade?” she called out, but quieted when Jade waved her hand in an attempt to keep from talking. If she talked, she would cry again, and that was the last thing she wanted to do when she was about to knock on the alpha’s door.
“Come in,” Talon yelled from the other side of the door.
When she pushed it open, Talon looked up from his desk. Beside him were two Guardians, Savage and Noah. They took in her appearance and immediately left the room without saying a word.
“Are you leaving us?” he asked.
“I think I am,” she choked out. Jade cleared her throat and straightened her spine. This wasn’t a great time to look like she was weak. No, not in front of this alpha. “Talon, I have so much respect for you, but I can’t stay here. I understand my wish to become a Guardian will not be approved.”
“No, it will not,” he stated, but she saw the hint of disappointment in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jade, but it just cannot be done. I don’t know where you plan on going, but I assure you, if you are allowed to fight at a solstice, it’s going to cause an uproar in whatever pride you find.”
“I just don’t believe it,” she responded. “There are prides out there who will accept me for who I am, and I’ll find one.”
“You are welcome here at any time,” he offered. “Remember, I am still your alpha, and should you need me, you can reach through our bond and I will come for you.”
“Thank you,” she replied, knowing he wasn’t lying. The Shaw pride was honorable. Talon was a leader for a reason, and if she was any other female, she’d been happy to stay. “I…I need to be going.”
“Take care, Jade,” he said, coming around the desk. He took her in a fatherly hug she didn’t know she needed. “You will always be a warrior, and if things were different, I would be honored to have you as a Guardian.”
As soon as he released her, she turned around and fled as quickly as possible. The tears were building in her eyes, and it was best no one saw her fall apart. She’d save that for when she found a hotel for the night somewhere between Mississippi and Texas.
Chapter Sixteen
She was gone. He didn’t need to be told by the three Guardians who showed up at his door. Savage, Noah, and Ranger stood on his porch with their eyes narrowed on him like he was going to become feral at any moment.
“Talon is on his way to speak to you,” Savage announced.
“I knew she was leaving,” he whispered, wiping a hand over his face. The males entered when he stepped back. He didn’t offer them anything and returned to his recliner. It still smelled like her. “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over.”
“What happened?” Ranger asked as he took a seat on the couch. The other two males remained standing.
“I gave her the choice,” he growled, feeling his beast push at his skin. “She wanted Guardianship, but it was clear after my meeting with Talon that she would not be fighting at the solstice next week.”
“She chose to leave?” Noah asked, his eyes wide.
“Fighting is her dream, her passion, and if she can find it elsewhere, I’m not going to stop her,” he answered. The thought of her moving on gutted him, but he was holding up well, knowing he never wanted a mate, and the mate that was almost his was capable of caring for herself. It was better they stayed apart. Nothing good would’ve come of their union.
“You, my friend, are the biggest idiot in the fucking world,” Savage accused.
“She would’ve never stayed past the solstice,” he argued. “If she can find another pride before next week that will allow her to fight, she has a better chance there than she does here.”
The front door opened, and all of the males looked up when Talon entered the room. His alpha appeared to be grieving as if one of his pride members had passed. Booth couldn’t look at him. It was too much for him to take. Seeing his own pain reflected back at him made his beast ache for a fight, but his human mind knew it wasn’t a great idea.
“I had to let her go,” Talon announced. “I would never force a pride member to stay where they are not comfortable.”
“I know this,” Booth replied, nodding his agreement. Talon was a fair and honest leader, and he’d never order someone with his magic to stay if they needed to go.
“I want to know where your head is at, Booth,” he stated, coming around to sit next to Ranger on the couch. Noah and Savage remained at their post by the door.
“I’m numb, Talon,” he admitted. “She was more than likely my mate, but we never touched. Hell, I didn’t want a mate, and she didn’t either.”
“We couldn’t give her what she wanted here,” Talon reminded him.
It was then, Booth started questioning everything he knew about the female fighters. Jade had made so many positive points in why they should be allowed, but he knew there was no way there
could be a fair fight with the males in attendance. Even with the males pulled away from the circle on the night of the solstice, they would fight their way through any blockade, any sedative the healer had on hand, to reach their mates. Any blood that would be shed would drive their animals insane.
It wasn’t just the Shaw pride. Any pride would feel the same way. A female would be protected even if she could protect herself.
But, he wondered. He wondered if she was right in her arguments. Could females fight alongside the males? Would the males calm themselves enough to be able to focus on defeating the enemy if one of the females was hurt?
“There’s no other way,” he growled.
“No, Booth,” Talon sobered. “I’m sorry. There isn’t.”
“If you’re here to check on my mental state, I assure you, I am fine,” he lied. He wasn’t fine, but he knew destroying things would make it worse. “I want my shift as usual at the gate. I do not want any special treatment, and I sure as hell don’t want anyone walking around on eggshells when I’m near. We go on as if she never came here in the first place.”
“Are you sure?” Talon pressed.
“One hundred percent,” he lied again. Booth wanted to jump in his truck and search for her. He wanted to change the way he, and the others, felt about a female fighter. While he wanted equality, he knew it would never work.
Fuck, he was so conflicted.
“Why don’t you take tonight off?” Talon asked. “Some of the Guardians are going to hang at The Deuce tonight.”
“Maybe,” he shrugged.
They left after Booth promised he’d reach out if he needed them. Eventually, he took a shower and grabbed his keys. He needed to get away from her scent, and as Talon had suggested, he drove himself to the bar.
When he arrived, the Guardians welcomed him and Olivia brought him a beer, sliding a menu across the table. He stared at it for a long time, finally making a decision when she returned to his table with another beer.
The sound of pool balls hitting each other rang in his head. He wasn’t himself, but he knew it could’ve been worse. If they’d touched and mated before she decided to leave, he wouldn’t have let her go.
“I know the males in this pride aren’t going to say anything to you, but I am,” Liberty growled as she slid into the seat across from him. He raised his eyes to the alpha’s mate and looked back down at the scarred wooden table.
“With all due respect, Liberty, I really don’t need to hear it.” He noticed the males gathering, and he felt his beast push at his skin. They were crowding him, and he didn’t like it. When he looked up at them, they all went on the defensive. Eyes glanced toward Liberty and back at him. They were gauging his sanity.
“No,” she barked, swinging her head toward one of the Guardians. “If one of you touches me, you’re going to have hell to pay.”
Most of them held their hands up in defense, but Savage stuck close to her side. Booth would never strike out against a female, and they should know that.
“You listen to me, and you listen good, Booth Woods,” she growled, leaning over the table. His alpha’s mate’s eyes glowed with the presence of her beast. “That female is Guardian worthy. I don’t give a care what my mate says. She should be able to fight at the solstice, and while we’re at it, so should Evie, Calla, and Hope.”
“That’s not my call. Talk to your mate,” he deadpanned.
“I’m not done,” she barked. “That female is your mate! She was a part of our pride, and you let her leave. How dare you! I cannot, for the life of me, understand you males. That woman would’ve been an asset to our pride, but you all let her go, because you’re too worried you’ll have a hard time seeing them fight. Well, like I told my mate…if you can survive seeing one of us changed, then you can survive seeing us fight.”
“Liberty,” Talon bellowed from somewhere behind him.
“No, Talon!” she hollered, spinning around at the sound of his voice. One of the Guardians must’ve called him. At that point, the entire bar had quieted. Several regulars got up and paid their tabs before quickly heading for the door as Talon approached. “Don’t you dare touch me.”
“This isn’t your business,” he warned, reaching for his mate. Booth sat still. He knew getting between an alpha and his mate was bad news. Even if Booth moved a finger, his alpha could snap.
“Oh, ho, ho, really?” she replied, turning slowly in her seat. “This is my business, and it will be my business when it comes to the females of my pride.”
“Liberty,” he growled again. Booth took a chance and glanced at the other Guardians. They were watching the argument with fear in their eyes. While some of them focused on him, the others had their eyes pinned on the alpha’s mate.
“Get out!” she screamed when he went to grab her again. “All of you, out of my bar!”
“What?” Talon gasped, holding out his hand to stop his Guardians from moving.
“You heard me, Talon Shaw,” she responded, standing from the booth. With the strength of a pissed off female, Liberty pushed at his chest and brushed past him. “If you don’t leave in the next five minutes, I will call the law.”
“All of the Guardians, except Dane, need to leave,” Talon ordered as his eyes tracked his mate. She fled to her office, and the males flinched when the sound of her door slamming echoed through the bar.
Oh, she was mad…spitting mad.
Liberty Shaw folded her arms over her chest and closed her eyes to calm her beast. She mumbled out several curse words and glared at the office door when it opened and revealed her mate.
“I don’t want you here either, Talon,” she barked.
“Liberty,” he growled, his eyes flashing amber as he stepped into the office and closed the door. “I think you need to calm…”
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down!” She was out of her chair in an instant. Her beast pushed forward, starting the shift, but her mate’s magic swirled around her. Her human body slumped and she fell to one knee, her head dropping in submission.
“Now, are we going to talk about this in a civilized manner? Or are you going to claw my eyes out?” he asked, reaching for her chin to raise her head. His magic calmed her beast, but it didn’t do anything to stop the hurt and anger at his rule of no women Guardians.
“Oh, I still want to claw your eyes out,” she replied, trying to not absorb the feel of his touch or the heat in his eyes.
“I love it when you’re feisty,” he teased and helped her stand.
“This is different,” she stated. “I’m really angry this time, Talon.”
“I know you are,” he sighed, pulling her to his chest. She had to hold her breath to keep from inhaling his mating scent. It didn’t matter to him her level of anger. Anytime she tested him, he found it sexy. So did Liberty, and they usually made up by having wild sex, but this time she was going to hold out.
Maybe?
Fuck!
“I know it’s hard to understand, and while you do make a valid point, I just can’t risk it.” Talon was a great male and an even better leader. She shouldn’t be so angry at him, but seeing Booth hurt gutted her.
“Jade is his mate, and he needs to go find her,” Liberty said. “Talon, she belongs here. Even if you can’t give her a spot as a Guardian, she needs to be a protector.”
“She does belong here, but I cannot force her to stay, and as far as Booth, he has to make his own decision regarding the female.” Talon kissed the top of her head, and while she felt his push of power over her, it wasn’t as strong.
“I wish he’d go find her,” Liberty whispered. “He’s hiding his feelings well, but I sense he’s miserable.”
“He’s hurting,” Talon agreed. “Booth is a thick-headed son of a bitch, and he will realize that fact in the next few days. I have to let him make his own decisions in life, and when he comes to me, I will allow him to leave the pride for two weeks at a time to find her.”
“Good.” Liberty sighed. “Than
k you.”
Talon lifted her chin and kissed her lips. This was the part of her new life she loved more than anything else. Her mate. Even when she tested him, he didn’t lash out against her. He loved her more than his own life, and had proven that fact many times over the past several years.
“So, about those claws?” he asked, his mating scent thickening in the air.
Jade arrived at the Winestone pride’s land outside of Dallas just before dinner. Mack Winestone, the alpha, shook her hand when she entered the home. “Come have a seat, Ms. O’Connor.”
“Thank you, alpha,” she replied and followed him into the kitchen of his home. It wasn’t as big as Talon Shaw’s, but it was still elegant and inviting. She breathed a little sigh of relief that she didn’t show up to a poorly run community.
“What can we do for you?” he asked, scooting his seat closer to the table. Jade was a little confused he didn’t take her into an office.
“I am looking for a pride who will allow a female to fight at the Summer Solstice for a chance at Guardianship.” There, she said it. She only had a few weeks to find another pride before she became weak from not being around her alpha.
The last thing she wanted to do was return to Mississippi. After she’d left and had driven for a few hours, Jade found a roadside motel and stayed for the night. She’d finally let the tears fall, and by morning, she’d resigned herself not to think about Booth again. It didn’t matter if he was her mate, she wanted to be a Guardian more.
“So, you’re trained?” he asked, his brows dropping low over his icy blue eyes. The male was older, maybe in his early sixties, and his hair was gray. He was a big male, still full of strength. He didn’t intimidate her.
“Yes, sir,” she replied. “I have trained in mixed martial arts for the last year, and I have had some training with the Shaw pride in Mississippi.”
“So, you’re from their pride?” he inquired, those eyebrows of his dipping lower with his question. She saw a spark of amber in them for a moment before it faded.
Booth (Rise of the Pride, Book 9) Page 12