by Nicole Fox
“I love you, Nana.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. When I said I’d never let anything bad happen to you, I meant it.” She looks into my eyes with her own striking blue ones.
She’s been my rock. The one thing in this world, above work and my friends, that’s kept me sane. I don’t know what I’d do without her, and I don’t want to think about it. Right now, the only thing that matters is that we’re together, and we’ve stopped Konstantin.
I turn around to look back at his body. “You know,” I start. “If this were a movie, he’d get one last shot at us while we’re not expecting it.”
Roman leans forward and grabs the gun from beside his body. He fires two more shots into Konstantin’s back, then wipes the gun and tosses it across the room. When he looks up at us, he says, “Good thing this isn’t a movie.”
***
Nana says she’s going to wait in her car for us, and I give her one last hug before she heads downstairs, stepping over all the bodies and all the carnage. I can hear her clicking her tongue at all the mess Roman and the others have made.
“That woman is something else,” he says, shaking his head at me.
“I’m glad you got to formally meet Nana. For a second time, I suppose,” I say with a smile. I look around at the warehouse, suddenly aware of just how quiet it is. Without all of Konstantin’s men working or talking, it’s eerily silent.
“What now?” I ask.
This place is going to be swarming with police soon. We may be pretty far away from the city, but eventually people are going to start to wonder. I’m sure others know where Konstantin works, and I don’t want to be here when they come looking for him.
Roman pulls me into him and kisses me again, long and hard, before reluctantly drawing back, leaving me giddy. “Thank God you’re okay.”
“You left me tied to a bed,” I begin, still angry even though there’s nothing better than being back in his arms, knowing he’s safe.
“I’ll pay for that later.” He runs his fingers lightly through my hair, lingering, before kissing me once more. It doesn’t even occur to me to stop him, even if I’m pissed off. Finally, he steps back. “I wish we had time for more of that, but I have to clean up this mess.”
I follow Roman downstairs, unsure what “clean up” means exactly. I’m careful to stay out of his way, but I do watch in the background as he unloads his car of all the guns he brought. He tosses them around the factory, staging the entire thing.
He positions certain people in a way that makes it look like they turned their guns on each other.
Roman then heads up to Konstantin’s office, sitting at his computer and typing away.
“What are you doing?” I ask quietly.
“Pointing all the evidence back to Konstantin,” he says. I watch as he pulls up Konstantin’s email, double-clicking on one particular. A quick scan shows that he was having a conversation about having someone offed a few weeks ago.
“Won’t that lead back to you?” I ask.
“Burner email. I’m always careful about that kind of thing.”
“The police are going to find this, right?”
“If you can convince them to come, they will.”
“Me?” I ask.
“I don’t know who’s going to pick up that phone. Konstantin had men all over the place. Police officers were always in his back pocket. They might recognize my voice if I pick up. I’ve met with plenty of them before. But if you call, they won’t have a clue.”
I guess that makes sense. Roman pulls a cheap flip phone from his pocket and hands it to me.
“Tell them you heard a lot of shooting and yelling. Tell them you were driving by but didn’t stop because you were scared. Then hang up immediately,” he instructs.
With a hard swallow, I dial the three numbers and wait for the operator to pick up. When she does, I tell her exactly what Roman said, trying my hardest to sound as terrified as I can. Before the woman asks for my name, I hang up the phone and hand it back to Roman. “How’d I do?” I ask with the slightest of smiles.
“You did perfect.” He stands up and pulls me in for a kiss.
We get back to his car and find Nana waiting for us, her windows rolled down. “Come back to my place when you’re done,” she says.
I wave goodbye to her, and after she returns the gesture, she heads home.
***
In Roman’s car, I turn to him and look at him carefully. “Did you really mean it?” I ask.
“Mean what?”
“What you said back in the warehouse. That you love me.”
Roman looks out the window for a moment, hands frozen on the steering wheel. Just when I think I’ve done something wrong by bringing it up, he says,
“I did. I do love you. It just ... terrifies me.”
“Why?”
“You know why, Lucy. When you love something, it becomes your weakness. I don’t want to lose you like everyone else. That’s why I didn’t want to care about you. But when that bastard called me and told me you were in danger, I didn’t think. I didn’t question going back. I knew that I had to save you. I knew that I loved you.”
I reach forward and place my hand on top of his. I rub my fingers over his knuckles, slow and soothing. “I love you too, Roman. More than I’ve loved anyone else.”
He gives me a smile, a rare sight, and turns the car around, leaving the warehouse behind.
We both fall silent as he drives, one hand on the steering wheel, the other in mine. I look back at the warehouse, watching it get smaller and smaller until it finally disappears, gone from my life for good.
Just like Konstantin.
I sit back in my seat and smile to myself.
It’s finally over.
Chapter Twenty
Roman
I drive Lucy back to grandmother’s house, and the drive is quiet. Neither of us talks, but neither of us needs to.
Hearing Lucy beg me to shoot Konstantin tore a hole in my heart. I could see me, years ago, so desperate to kill Andrei and Aleksandr that I would’ve done anything to make them suffer. I would’ve gone down with them if it meant they paid for what they did.
Staring at Lucy in the warehouse, I saw that same determination. I just couldn’t let her go down that road. I couldn’t let her die for my mistake. Konstantin was right. I should’ve put it all together. Stepping back, anyone could see that all the crimes were tied together. Every man I killed was connected to Abram Konstantin in one way or another.
But now the Bratva has taken a hit I don’t know if they’ll recover from.
Serves those fuckers right.
I glance at Lucy and watch as her eyes grow heavy. Her blinking slows and she begins to fall asleep. As she drifts off, her muscles relax, and I see the tension disappear.
I drive through the city streets slowly, looking at everything. It’s interesting how different the world looks when I’m not planning which escape route to take, mapping everything out, figuring out when the best time is to step from the shadows and stick someone with a syringe. It’s kind of beautiful, this shithole of a place.
For the first time in years, I’m free. Nobody’s blackmailing me any longer. That secret died with Konstantin. Now, I’m free to do as I please. It’s a strange feeling.
We make it back to the house thirty minutes later. I’m reluctant to wake Lucy, but I know that she’ll want to talk to the old woman. They probably have plenty to discuss. Her grandmother isn’t like any woman I’ve ever met before.
I thought she was some kindly old lady. She could barely manage the recycling bin, and she loved to stay and talk because nobody else was around to talk to. But like her granddaughter, she surprised me.
If Konstantin had been able to get the shot off, I don’t think either of us would be sitting in this car now. She’s as big a hero as her granddaughter, and she has my respect in a way that not many others do.
Slowly, I open my car door. Immediately, Lucy sits up and rub
s her eyes. “Are we home?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
She yawns loudly and opens her door, climbing out. When we get inside the house, her grandmother is in the kitchen, stirring something on the stove. Lucy runs into the kitchen and gives her a hug.
“I thought you two got lost or something,” she chuckles, rubbing Lucy’s upper arm.
“Were we gone that long?”
“Just a little while,” she says. “I thought you two might be hungry, so I warmed up some leftover chili.”
“I’m starving,” I say.
She grabs two bowls from the cabinet and fills them. When I try to help, she shoos me away and tells me to sit down. Lucy giggles, and I smile with embarrassment. A few moments later, Lucy’s grandmother places two bowls of chili in front of us and sprinkles a handful of cheese on them.
“I’m going to head to bed now, darling. Come wake me up if you need something, okay?”
“Okay, Nana. Love you.”
“Love you too.” The two of us share a nod before she heads back to her bedroom and I start to dig in. This must be the best food I’ve had in years, because I can barely stop eating to talk.
“That woman is a great cook,” I say.
Lucy nods. “She cooked for me every night when I was younger. Didn’t matter what I wanted, or how long it took, she was going to make whatever I was in the mood for.”
The two of us eat quietly, occasionally making small talk. She mentions how she’s going to write a killer climax to her book after what happened tonight. She’s even thought of another book that she wants to work on soon. It’s strange, watching her disappear into the world of her own creation.
She talks about her characters like they’re real people. Like they can make their own decisions and lead the story in ways she has no control over. And I can see she’ll use those characters to help her work through the hell she went through tonight.
Finally, I speak. “I’m sorry for lying to you, Lucy.”
There aren’t many people I apologize to. I’ve lived my whole life doing whatever it took to survive. Lying. Stealing. Cheating. It didn’t matter, as long as it benefitted me in some way. But I’ve lied to Lucy more times than I should have, and it’s fucking me up inside.
“Why did you do it?” she asks.
“You told me you were scared of who you would become if you went through with this. You said you might become as bad as me. You might lose your humanity. That made me change my mind. I couldn’t let you go down that road. I know it would’ve felt good, killing Konstantin, especially after what he did to your folks, but ...”
I shrug. “I tied you up because I wanted to keep you away from him. I thought you were safe at the house. And I’m sorry. If I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have been in danger.”
She smiles sadly. “I’ve been in danger my whole life, Roman. Konstantin’s been this bad dream in my life for so long that I started to get used to him. I felt comfort knowing that I could always hate him when life got too hard for me. I forgive you, though. For lying to me.”
Relief hits me hard. I can’t believe how much power this tiny woman holds over me. She leaves me on my knees more times than I’m comfortable saying, and yet she uses her power for good. She’s never manipulated me or tried to sway me with how much I care about her.
“Fuck, I love you,” I say.
Lucy laughs softly and reaches a hand across the table to hold mine. “I love you too.”
We finish eating, and after, I help her do the dishes. It’s like we’re back at the safe house again. She dries and I wash, a perfect team. When we’re done, I pull her into my arms. “This is a lot to talk about right now, but I think we should start preparing for the future. New names, identities, all that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We can’t stay here, Lucy,” I explain. “Konstantin’s men are bound to find out that we were the ones that killed him. If we stay here, we’ll always be in danger. We’ll always have a target on our backs. But if we disappear and start over, we’ll be harder to track down. Harder to find.”
This won’t be my first time becoming someone else. After killing Aleksander and Andrei, I moved, and decided to become who I am now. Learning English was difficult, but it came eventually. I grew more and more fluent, adopted the name Roman, and began working for Mr. X. Konstantin figured out who I was thanks to his ties to Russia, and that’s when he blackmailed me.
This time, I’ll be more careful. We’ll be more careful.
“Do we really have to?” she asks, chewing on her bottom lip. “I just don’t want to stress Nana out with money. Moving, becoming someone else ... I don’t want to put any more pressure on her when she’s been sick lately.”
“I’ll take care of everything,” I say. “I have more than enough money for us to live comfortably. Konstantin may have been a piece of shit, but he paid well. Money isn’t an issue.”
That seems to calm her down some. I know Lucy struggled before she met me. I know she worked at that diner because she needed to pay the bills and keep the lights on. She did what she had to do, same as me. But this is different. We have a way out now. We don’t have to work for anyone else. We can do what we want.
“We should call ourselves Bonnie and Clyde,” she teases.
“We are definitely not calling ourselves that,” I say. It’s hard to keep a straight face, and I end up smiling at the idea. I like the spirit behind those names, but we’ll need something much more unassuming. Something that makes it easy for us to blend in with the crowd.
“I just want to add,” Lucy says, running her fingers up and down my arm, “If you ever leave me tied to a bed and drive off again, I’m going to change my name to Lorena Bobbitt.”
“Ouch,” I say, stealing a kiss from her.
“I mean it, Roman. I’ve done my research. I know lots of different ways to kill a man. Don’t mess with me.”
“Okay, okay,” I say, pecking her lips again. “The next time I tie you up, it will be consensual. How does that sound?”
She makes a soft mm sound and kisses me back, her tongue passing my lips and brushing against my own. There are so many filthy things I could do to her right now, but I have to behave myself. We’re in her grandmother’s house. If we get too wild, she could come out at any moment and see us. After saving our lives, I doubt that’s the kind of thanks she wants to receive.
“We should go somewhere,” I say between kisses.
“Like where?”
“Somewhere private. I don’t want to disturb your grandmother.”
Lucy snickers softly. “When did you become such a gentleman?”
“It’s a recent development,” I reply.
Lucy nods and crosses the room to grab her jacket from the hook hanging by the back door. She pulls it over herself and pulls on her shoes. “Lead the way,” she says, gesturing to the front door.
In the car, I decide that I can probably take her to a hotel or something nearby. I have enough cash on me to pay for a month, so we’re not bothering her grandmother. I’d consider the safe house, but if Konstantin’s men know where that is, I’ll have to get rid of the property.
After driving around for a while, Lucy turns to me and says, “Actually, can we make a detour?”
“Sure. Where to?”
“Do you know where the Jefferson Cemetery is?”
“I do.”
When we arrive at the cemetery, Lucy looks hesitant, like she might change her mind and ask to go back to the hotel. I don’t blame her. This has to be hard. Visiting my parents’ and brothers’ grave for the last time before I left Russia was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I wanted to stay there. I wanted to die and be buried next to them. But I had to go. I had to move on from the past and try to make a new life for myself.
I know that’s what Lucy’s parents would want for her too.
I lace my fingers through hers, offering some kind of reassurance. It seems to work. Lucy leads me throug
h the rows and rows of headstones. Part of me wonders who all is here. What their stories are. Who remembers them.
For a long time, neither of us say a word. Then Lucy stops in front of her parents’ gravestones and runs her hand over them. I want to comfort her. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her how proud of her they’d be. But I know what this moment feels like. I know how personal it all is. She wants me here for moral support and nothing more.
Lucy brings her hand up to her face and wipes her eyes, and the sight breaks my heart. I’ve always understood her pain, but seeing it on display tonight is something different. It’s more than just the knowledge. It’s the sight of how bad this tragedy still is. How broken she is, even after all these years. What Konstantin did to her can never be undone. Even if he is dead, he’s left his mark on her forever.
After fifteen minutes, Lucy stands up. Her eyes are rimmed in red. She gives me a sad smile. I pull her into my arms, and she presses her cheek against my chest.
“I’ve got you,” I say softly. “I’m here.”
Lucy starts to cry again, but she looks up into my eyes. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For everything.”
“No. Thank you.”
She doesn’t know how much she’s changed me. She doesn’t understand that she’s pulled me away from the deep end. I may have helped her stop Konstantin, but she made me into someone else. Someone ready to give up this life. Someone that I don’t despise. I want to be better because of her.
Hand in hand, we start to walk back. Lucy looks over her shoulder once and smiles. When she looks at me, I smile as well. It’s hard not to fall in love with this woman all over again.
So why resist? This time, when I feel my heart leap, I don’t stop myself.
Once again, I fall hard for Lucy Walker.
Epilogue
Roman
I still haven’t gotten used to California weather. In New York, the rain and snow were common. It was familiar. The constant sunshine and warmth in San Jose feel foreign. It’s strange. I like it.