“There’s something else, isn’t there? You’re not telling me something. Bre, what is it?”
I guess I wasn’t holding in my emotions as well as I thought. Looking into Rebecca’s brown, worried eyes I finally said, “I’m fine. You know how she is. She says things and I don’t listen, because it doesn’t matter to me what she thinks. I could really care less.”
Beck stepped close to me resting a hand on my shoulder, “Bre, come on, you can tell me.”
“No, really it’s fine. I’m fine.”
“I thought you two were doing better. I mean, the last time she was here, she took you out to lunch, right?”
Lunch? What was she talking about? My mother had never taken me anywhere. Then I remembered when Rebecca came in my room that morning after the ordeal with the Andersons.
“You mean when she said she wanted to get a bite to eat before she had to leave?”
“Yeah, I thought that’s what happened.”
“I wish that’s what happened. She only said that because you were there. She didn’t mean it. As soon as you were gone, she grabbed her suitcase and left for the airport. She didn’t even say goodbye to me.” I looked down at my hands as I twisted them together. “But I accept it now, that’s just how she is…she’ll never change.”
Beck stared at me, eyes wide with concern. I didn’t want to look at her. I didn’t want her to see the hurt in my eyes.
“I need to stop by my locker. Wanna come with me?” I asked.
“Sure,” she murmured in a low voice.
We walked silently to the other end of the hall. I scanned the people again, no Josh. How was he not here? This wasn’t like him at all. He always made a big deal about everything. He wasn’t one to just let something like this go or wait it out. He normally acted right away. Nearing my locker, I saw a folded piece of paper sticking out of the slits.
“What’s that?” Beck pointed.
I pulled the paper out and unfolding it, not recognizing the handwriting. But it was signed by Josh.
I read it aloud, but for Becka’s ears only:
Breanna,
I want to start by saying I’m sorry for hurting you. I haven’t been a great boyfriend. You deserve better and I’ll try to be a better person. I miss you and I want us to be together again. Please forgive me and let’s start over.
Meet me at the football field at lunch so we can talk.
Love
Josh
“He just doesn’t quit, does he?” Becka took the note out of my hands and re-read it.
“You mean, you didn’t know about this?”
Surely, she would have heard about this from Trevor. Erik said it was going around the whole school.
She shook her head. “No. If I did I would’ve told you. You know I would have.”
“Yeah.” I took the note back. Something was wrong.
I stared hard at the writing again, but it still wasn’t familiar at all. Too perfect for Josh. His handwriting was sloppy and almost unreadable. Another thing was that my full name was spelled out, Breanna. He never called me that. I was always Bre. Maybe this was some kind of sick joke Megan was pulling on me. Or maybe it was Katie.
“Time for class,” Beck sighed after the first bell rang.
I knew how she felt. “I’m so glad it’s Friday.”
In Algebra, I glanced at Katie, but she wasn’t looking at me. Instead, she was talking with Sarah and Jenny. I walked in front of her, but she still didn’t look up. Again, it was like I was invisible. I took my seat and stared at her, but she was wrapped up in whatever the three of them were salaciously talking about. Right then, I eliminated her as the person who wrote the note. If she had, she would’ve been waiting to see if I was upset. I knew her well enough to know when she was trying to get back at someone, she tortured them, giddily relishing in their pain. In some twisted way, it pleased her.
“Now Bre,” Becka ordered. “Remember to spread the word about the party tomorrow. We need a bunch of people there. I want this to be the best party ever!”
“I will. What time should I tell people?”
“I don’t know, seven? Yeah, seven is good. That’ll give me enough time to get ready and maybe if you get back in time, you can come early.”
“Sure. I don’t think that we’ll be out too late. Plus, my dad said he wants me home for dinner…wait…my dad, Beck.”
“Your Dad, what?”
“You’re having a party and we live practically right across the street from you! He’ll hear the music and see all the kids going in your house,” I warned.
“You’re right. I didn’t think about that.” She tapped her finger on her lips.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have a party at all,” I suggested.
“No. We have to! We just have to find another place to have it.”
Eve who was seated next to Rebecca turned around. “How about my place?” she offered, clearly listening in.
“Your house? That would be awesome!” Beck’s face lit up with excitement.
Still worried about parents, I asked, “What about your parents, Eve? Won’t they be home?”
“Don’t worry about them. They’re going away this weekend to Seattle. Leaving early in the morning.”
“Perfect! It’s settled then. The party will be at Eve’s!” Becka blurted out loud, which got the attention of everyone close by.
“Party? Did I hear someone say party!” someone said behind me.
“Yes, tomorrow night at Eve’s! I’ll give everyone directions at lunch so make sure you come and get them from me,” Beck motioned.
After class, I went directly to the P.E. locker room. Megan was in that class with me and I wondered if she’d act differently, give an indication that she was the one who planted the note in my locker. When I stepped into the cold, gray room, it appeared to be empty. I heard muffled chatter from the boy’s locker room next door, but that was all. I went straight to my locker, got out my uniform and started dressing. After putting the hideous green and yellow shirt and pants on, I was tying my shoes when I heard something four or five rows away from me. I stood up but saw no one. I rounded the locker wall and was surprised to see Megan sitting down on the bench with her hands in her face, crying.
Looking around to see if anyone was nearby, I took a nervous breath and spoke. “Megan…are you alright?”
For a split second the thought of this being “part of the plan” passed through my mind, but it wasn’t until she looked up at me that I knew that this was no plan at all. She was really upset. Those were real tears streaming down her face.
“Oh, it’s you,” she sniffed. “What do you want?”
“I heard you crying and wanted to make sure you were okay.” Even though I despised her, I wasn’t immune to seeing her this way.
“You wanted to make sure I was okay?” She viciously repeated, coming to her feet.
“Yes.” I took a slight step back.
Sara and Jenny breezed in talking. They stopped when they saw us.
“How can you just stand there and ask me that with a straight face, like you don’t even know?” Her voice was thick and rose with every word. The room filled, and everyone was dressing for class, but hopefully this was to my advantage. The more girls, the louder it would be.
“Megan, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about?”
“Oh really, well…I just talked to Josh…does that bring it back?”
It was hard for her to say that, and she almost couldn’t finish. This had to have been about the note Josh left in my locker.
“Look, if this is about Josh, you don’t have to worry. I’m not getting back together with him. I promise,” I told her sincerely. “I’m sorry if he hurt you, but that’s just how he is.”
“How can you stand there and lie to me like that? You knew about this…don’t pretend that you didn’t! He showed me,” she hissed.
“He showed you what?”
“I can’t do this right now. Just leave m
e alone!” she slammed her locker and stormed out of the room.
“Wow…what did you do to Megan?” Sarah asked, opening up her locker.
I ignored her and walked back to my locker to shut the door. My head was spinning with questions. If Katie and Megan didn’t write the note, and I know Josh didn’t, then who? Who could possibly benefit getting us back together? The only other person that could be this vindictive was Trevor. He said he’d get me back, but why would he do this? This involved Josh, his best friend.
In Home-Ec I checked the clock every five minutes. Each time it ticked, another knot wadded up in my stomach. I hated all this conflict and drama. I didn’t know what or who to expect at the football field and that made it ten times worse.
When class was over, I wondered if I should even follow the directions in the note. Was this an ambush? It almost felt like a scene out Carrie; all kinds of fears gathered forces inside me. Run away? Go? I made a decision. I’d face it, him, whatever it was. Nearing the football field, Josh was standing at the metal gate waiting for me, like the note had said. He looked nervous and he was alone.
“Hey,” I said when I reached him.
Since our last confrontation, I really hadn’t thought of him much, but standing here face to face was more overwhelming than I thought.
“Hey…ummm…how have you been?” he asked awkwardly, still with a blank face. No emotion.
“I’ve been good…and you?”
“Good.”
There was an uncomfortable pause. His eyes skittered around, unable to look straight at me for some reason. I crossed my arms in a defensive pose.
“So, we need to talk about the letter,” he said.
“I agree,” and looked down to a piece of folded paper in his hand. I frowned. “What’s that?”
Raising his eyebrows and shaking his head with a perplexed look he answered, irritated, “The letter you wrote me!”
“What letter? I didn’t write you a letter! You wrote me a letter!” What the heck was he talking about?
I grabbed the letter out of my pocket and held it up to show him. We both went quiet. Someone was definitely trying to get us back together. Perhaps this wasn’t a cruel plot. But why?
“Can I see it?” I asked, holding out my hand.
Once it was in my possession, I opened it up quickly to see if it was the same handwriting, and it was. The same wording, the same pen stroke, the only difference was the name at the bottom.
“This wasn’t from me.” I gave it back to him.
“If it wasn’t from you, then who? Who would write this?” He folded his arms across his chest looking out over the campus.
“I have no idea. I knew it wasn’t your handwriting. I can’t think of anyone who would do this.” Remembering what Erik said last night, skepticism crept over me and I added, “Erik Smith came into my work yesterday and told me you were telling everyone we were back together again.”
“I didn’t say that.” He was serious.
“Then why would he tell me you were spreading it around to all your friends? He said he heard you talking to them yesterday in class.”
He was getting worked up. “I didn’t, I swear didn’t.”
I could always tell if Josh was lying to me. But this time, I believed him.
“Then, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why did you show Megan the letter?”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Josh so vulnerable and nervous before. He stood there for a second looking down at the ground.
“Since we broke up, I’ve been acting like it’s not a big deal, but the truth is…” He looked to me, “I’m miserable without you. I’ve missed you every day since you told me off. And you had every right to. I didn’t treat you right, I know that now, and I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to think of what to say to you for weeks now but nothing seemed right until today, when I got that note. It gave me…hope, that you forgave me and wanted me back. But now that I know you didn’t write it, I don’t know what to think. I only showed Megan because I thought we were getting back together. I like Megan. She’s really great but…” He grabbed my hands. I tried to pull away but he was holding on too tight, “Bre, I want you, not her.”
“Josh…” I started to say, but stopped when his eyes narrowed at something behind me.
I turned to see Austin over by the cafeteria. His arms were folded, looking away from us a couple of times and then back. I felt horrible and yanked my hands out of Josh’s.
He took a step away. “Oh I see…it’s because of Austin, isn’t it?” He kept his voice low.
“No, that’s not it…I just can’t…you cheated on me and I can’t be with someone who would do that. I can’t trust you.” I pressed my lips together. Then muttered softly. “I’m sorry. You should go find Megan and tell her you made a mistake.”
He took a deep breath, letting those words sink in. “I guess they’re right when they say that…you never know what you had until it’s gone.” His pained eyes stared into mine, and I hoped he saw this was hard for me too.
“I have to go, but I will see you around.”
“Bre?” he stopped me before I walked away.
“Yeah?”
He reached out and brushed his fingers across my cheek. I tried to keep my emotions in check. “You’ll always be that person for me. Even if,” he glanced at Austin, “you’re with someone else.” He dropped his eyes back to mine, then turned heading for the parking lot.
I watched him walk away from me. I knew someday this talk would surface, but I didn’t expect it so soon and that I would feel such peace and acceptance. As hard as this was, I was okay with it. Now I could move on.
“Bre!” Austin yelled from the steps of the cafeteria.
I took one last look at Josh getting into his truck and driving away, before walking over to Austin.
“What was all that about?” his voice held a panicky edge, and I was sorry he had seen that.
“It was just some big misunderstanding,” I assured him, but I knew I’d have to explain it. From afar it would look like something other than what it was.
“Are you…back together?” He grimaced. The words didn’t come easy to him.
“No,” I said fast.
“Oh. Well it looked like…I mean, he was holding your hands and brushing your face.” Austin was struggling.
“I know, big misunderstanding,” I smiled to lighten the mood and my shoulders sunk a little in relief when he smiled back.
“Alright then…ummm…” He seemed to lose his train of thought. “Rebecca wanted me to find you. She needs your help passing out the address for the party this weekend?” His eyes portrayed a question.
“Right…I needed to talk to you about that. After we go out tomorrow, and after I go home for dinner, would you like to go to the party with me?” I smiled wide and he lightened up.
“Sure, that sounds great.”
“If you want, you can have dinner with us too.” Maybe I was over doing it, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“Sure. The more time with you, the better,” he said.
I smiled.
He smiled back, a bit tense. He probably regretted that last comment, but it was sweet.
“Let’s go find Beck,” I suggested.
“Sure,” he agreed as we walked back into the cafeteria.
Passing through the door, I almost ran right into Erik. He looked like he was in a hurry, but I stopped him anyway.
“Erik, we need to talk.” I glared at him.
“Breanna, what a pleasant surprise,” he glanced at Austin but kept talking. Apparently his ego wasn’t too damaged from the other night. “I knew you’d change your mind about me.” He was suddenly no longer in a rush.
“I haven’t changed my mind. You and I will never happen, ever.” I scowled. “We need to talk about what you said about me and Josh. Now!” I demanded.
“About you and him together again?” he said, still smirking.
“Yes,” I said firmly. “Josh told me he never said that.”
“Oh well, maybe it wasn’t him who said it then.”
“What! Then why’d you tell me he was the one spreading the rumors?” My blood was beginning to boil.
“I don’t know. She just said to say it. I’m sorry, Bre.” His face turned red and dropped, then shot up and looked in the middle of the cafeteria as if he were searching for a face.
I glanced in the same direction, but there were dozens of students and I couldn’t pick out the person he was looking at.
“Who is she? Tell me, you little weasel!” I grabbed him by his grimy little pencil-headed shirt and he squealed like a little pig, but the bell rang and he wiggled out of my grasp, bolting out the cafeteria before I could get my answer.
The next morning, I felt like a new person. The weekend was here. Anything was possible and all I had to do was embrace whatever came.
“Morning, Caleb.” I greeted him in the kitchen.
He was at the stove making scrambled eggs.
“Hi.” Glancing up at me, he half-smiled.
Grabbing a bowl and a packet of oatmeal from the cupboard, I filled the teapot with water and started heating it on the stove.
“What are you doing today?” I asked, making conversation.
“Nothing, really. Going over to Jessie’s to play video games. He got a new system!”
“Sounds like fun.” I sat on the stool at the counter.
“You’re going out with Austin today, right?” He scraped the last bits of scrambled eggs onto his plate.
“Yes…oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to tell dad Austin’s coming for dinner tonight. Where is he? Outside?”
I peered out the kitchen window, but I didn’t see him or his truck in the driveway. Also, my Mom’s car was gone.
“No, he left early this morning. I guess Steve from work has a boat and they wanted to take it out on the lake today since it’s nice.”
“Oh…Did he say he’d be home for dinner?”
Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1) Page 18