Pulling up to work, I was surprised to see Austin sitting at one of the outdoor tables. I got out of the car and he walked up to me.
“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off.”
“I do. I just wanted to come by before you went to work and invite you over for dinner.” He grinned wide, excited about something.
“Sure. I’d like that,” I replied.
He smiled wider.
“You seem really happy this morning,” I queried.
But he ignored my observation. “Great! I’ll see you at my house at five o'clock.”
I squinted, half-smiling, “I'll be there.”
With a quick kiss on the back of my hand, he got in his truck and drove away.
I wondered about his invitation for the rest of the day. Austin wasn’t normally one to keep secrets, but his behavior seemed unusually mysterious to me. The only thing that I could come up with was that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I mean, what else could it be? If he wanted to ask me to dinner, he would’ve called or texted, but the fact that he just showed up and acted so strange made me think a little bit. Rebecca had warned me that this day would come, but I managed to block it from my mind. I felt our friendship was in a good place and I didn’t want things to get complicated.
Jim scheduled me in the kitchen today working by myself. As I worked on preparing pizzas I kept thinking about what possibly awaited me tonight with Austin. The unknown was burrowing into my head and blocking everything else out. If I was being completely honest with myself, I had entertained the thought of bringing our relationship to the next level on a few occasions. Maybe Rebecca was right. Maybe I needed to go for what was in front of me, instead of fantasizing about a person who wasn’t real. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to ruin my relationship with Austin, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Collin was real.
I couldn't focus on anything the entire shift. I messed up three orders, burnt a pizza, and every time the phone rang I went into panic mode, thinking it was Austin on the other end.
Four o'clock came all too quickly. For the duration of my shift I prayed that Jim would ask me to work longer, but when my shift ended, he didn’t offer me more hours. I slowly started running scenarios in my head. How I would break it to Austin? How did this get so complicated?
I walked in my empty house and headed for the shower. If he was going to make this a romantic night, I needed to at least wash up so I didn’t smell like pizza.
After showering, I put on my robe and dug through my dresser. I finally settled on a white sweater and nice black pants. As I pulled my head through my sweater, the phone rang and the nerves kicked in.
“Hello,” I answered, hoping it wasn't Austin. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. I didn't want him to hear that I was nervous.
“Hey!” It was Becka.
“Oh hey Beck, what's up?” I said, walking into the bathroom and taking out my bag of makeup. It was almost four forty-five and I didn't have much time left.
“Let's go see a movie tonight.”
“A movie?” I pondered that for a moment, then I thought of Katherine cooking a big dinner. “I can't.” I widened my eyes and applied mascara.
“Why not? I haven't seen you in a month and I’m finally getting out of this prison they call a home. You have to go out with me tonight,” she whined.
“I'm sorry, but I already made plans.”
“Doing what?”
“Austin invited me over for dinner,” I said.
“Oh I see, you would choose a guy over your best friend who was...” her voice got louder, “locked away for two months!”
“It wasn’t two months, and besides, he asked me this morning. Would you change your mind if I told you I think he’s going to officially ask me to be his girlfriend?” The nerves sprouted in my belly.
“Really? He really is! Well, in that case I’ll call Steph and make her go see a movie.”
“I don't know for sure, but the way he was acting, it seemed like it.”
“It’s about time!”
“I don't know what I'm going to say yet.” I put the phone on speaker so I could curl my hair.
“What do you mean you don't know what you’re going to say? You say yes! That's what you’re going to say. I mean, you guys act like you’re already together. I don't see why you’re so unsure about it. The two of you are perfect!”
“I don't know,” I quietly murmured.
“Beck!” I heard Cindy, Rebecca’s mother, in the background.
“Just a minute, Mom. Be right there,” she yelled and then spoke to me. “Bre, I gotta go, but you have to call me tonight and tell me what happened. I don't care what time it is, you call me, kay?”
“Alright, I’ll call.”
“Bye,” and with that, she hung up.
Driving up to Austin's house, the idea of turning around and going with Becka was sounding much more appealing. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Austin. He was special to me, but I couldn’t see us being anymore than just friends. However, I wasn't sure I could trust myself when it came right down to that moment when it was all laid out on the table. I couldn't say for sure that I wouldn't give in to the pressure of saving an incredible relationship.
Parking my car directly in back of Austin's truck, I glanced at the house. Austin saw me, all too happy with my arrival. There was no getting out of it now. He held the door for me, and I came into the living room.
“There she is.” Brian smiled and got up off the couch.
“Is that Breanna?” Katherine called from the kitchen.
“Yes,” Brian responded. I smiled at him.
“Great! Now I can put the bread in the oven,” she said. “Brian?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you help me in the kitchen?”
“Sure,” he winked at me and left us alone.
Austin came and stood in front of me. “So...” He sandwiched my hands between his. “How was your day?” He was still as excited as he was that morning.
“Ummm...it was alright except I burned a pizza and I couldn't seem to get anything right today.”
I was so obviously nervous. I was sure he could feel my hands shaking right now. I bit my bottom lip, trying to compose myself.
“We all have those days.” His warm smile stretched out and his body started to lean in toward mine. I didn’t know if he was coming in for a kiss or not, but I took a step back.
“Let's go see if they need any help.” I quickly motioned.
“They got it,” he chuckled, stopping me and pulling me back in close to him.
The only thing racing through my mind was, please don't do it right now, please.
“C’mere, I want to show you something out back.”
He led me out the front door and around the side of the house.
“Are you sure? My parents didn't teach me much, but they always said to be polite and the polite thing to do is help.” I was panicking and my heart pounded against my chest.
He ignored me and steadily continued to lead me to the back of the house.
Okay, this was it. He was going to do it right now, and I didn’t know how to stop him.
“Austin?” I began to say, but then as my sight reached out to the water’s edge, I became immobilized.
My beating heart stopped. Could this be real? I knew what I was looking at, but for a moment I couldn’t accept it. This had to be a mirage, a scene I had created in my mind and dreamed it was real. Now the hallucinations were revealing themselves as visual images. My mind had to be messing with my heart now.
Austin said something, but I didn't hear it. All I could do was stare at the back of him, wondering if I was dreaming or if I was really seeing him sitting there. Austin pulled me forward again, heading straight to where he was.
No, this can't be. It was someone else. I was just wishing again.
But my doubt was immediately erased when he turned around and our eyes met
for the first time. His flawless beauty twisted in my stomach. He was more gorgeous than I had ever dreamed he would be. What was he doing here? No, this couldn’t be happening. But it felt real. It was real. He was as real as both Austin and I were.
When we finally reached him, Austin spoke up, “Collin, this is Breanna.” He nudged me forward with his hand on my back.
So in my dream the voice that introduced us was Austin’s? I couldn’t breathe for a moment.
Just like in my dream, Collin reached out to shake my hand. He was exactly as I visualized him: faded jeans, a blue shirt that matched perfectly with his ice blue eyes, and a black winter jacket. His pearl-white smile was melting away the aching pain that I felt when I doubted his existence. I could feel his presence molding my scarred heart back together again. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions that I was speechless. I couldn't take my eyes away from him. I just stared in disbelief, too afraid that if I touched him he’d disappear as he always had in my dreams. I didn’t want to wake up from this.
“It's so nice to finally meet you, Breanna.” His voice was so familiar it took everything in me not to throw my wanting arms around him and never let go. Once the words came from his lips, all uncertainty was gone. This was no dream, no hallucination. This was finally real. He was standing two feet away from me and all I had to do was reach out and touch his ivory skin; something that I had ached to do for so long and now it was just seconds away, no longer a dream.
When I didn't respond Austin continued, “Collin is my brother.”
Silence hung in the air with only the sound of the stream trickling by. That last word circled through my head. Brother?
“This is your...brother?” I repeated slowly. I heard my own voice saying the words, but hearing it again didn't make sense. I glanced at Austin in disbelief.
“Yes,” Austin replied casually, and then his face fell. “Bre, are you alright?”
I couldn't think. Everything was going fuzzy. “I need to sit down for a minute,” I said, taking a seat on a nearby rock.
Collin moved over so Austin could bend down next to me. I opened and closed my eyes, shaking my head to make the dizziness subside. I needed a minute to make sense of all of this.
“Is she always like this?” Collin asked Austin.
“No.” Austin replied.
“I'm sorry...I don't know what happened,” I apologized.
“Bre, are you having another…?” He let me fill in the blank.
“No,” I said, praying that Collin wouldn't ask what that meant.
“Maybe we should take you in the house and get you some water.” Austin tugged at my arm to help me up.
I pulled my arm away, “Let me just sit here for a minute. I’ll be fine.”
“I'll go get her some water,” Collin volunteered and ran back to the house.
I waited until I heard the door shut. “Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?” I snapped. I didn't know what I was feeling. Anger, hurt, relief.
My sudden mood swing caught Austin by surprise.
“Well...” His eyebrows furrowed. “I never talked about Collin before because growing up it was like I was an only child. We’ve only been in contact recently. I didn't think it was a big deal.”
“But why didn't you tell me he’d be here?”
“I didn't know he was coming until last night. It was a last minute thing. That’s why I didn't invite you to dinner until today.”
“Oh.” I looked back to the house, Katherine and Collin were stepping out the sliding glass door and started heading down to where we were.
He didn't think this was a big deal? If only he knew.
“Bre, what’s the matter? Are you mad at me?”
I was mad. How could he keep this from me? I knew he didn't understand, how could he? I knew I shouldn't feel this way, but I couldn't help it. If I had known about Collin a long time ago, I wouldn't have gone so many days, so many months, wondering if he really existed.
“Bre, are you all right, sweetheart?” Katherine placed her warm hand on my cold forehead. I couldn't see Collin because he was standing behind me, but I swear I could feel him there.
“I'm all right, I just...haven't eaten much today and I got a little dizzy, that’s all.” It was a lie, but there was no way I was going to tell the truth.
“Well then, let’s go get some food in you,” Katherine ordered, but in the sweetest way.
I got up and turned, Collin was staring down at me, his deep, blue eyes searching my face. If only he knew how long I'd known about him. He was so gorgeous. It took all my strength to restrain myself from telling him that he was no stranger to me. I had to remind myself, walking back into the house, that he had only just met me. I was a stranger to him, even though I had known since the moment I saw him in my dreams that he was mine, and we would be together someday.
“Is she all right?” Concern was written all over Brian’s face. I began to feel somewhat embarrassed by my actions and what a big deal everyone was making it.
“She'll be fine,” Katherine patted his arm.
Everyone took their seats around the dinner table, but not before Austin held a chair out for me to sit in. Normally, I would’ve appreciated the gesture, but sitting across from Collin now, it didn't feel right and I wished he hadn't done it.
Collin didn’t take his eyes off of me. His face was blank, just like in my dreams. What was he thinking? I looked down at the empty plate in front of me, still in shock that he was real. He was here, sitting two feet away from me. I couldn’t believe it.
“So...” Collin began. I looked up at him. “Austin has talked a lot about you.”
I glanced quickly at Austin as he sat down next to me at the table, his cheeks red with embarrassment.
“He has?” I murmured shyly, looking back at Collin. Then I panicked. What did Austin tell him? That he likes me? That he was going to ask me if we could be a couple?
“I'm glad to finally put a face with a name,” he said, smiling his perfect smile that I had seen a thousand times. Every time it was more breathtaking than the last, and sent my heart racing.
“Bre, would you like some green beans?” Katherine interrupted.
“Sure.” I took the bowl from her and scooped up some for myself. A moment passed without anyone speaking. I didn't know how long Collin was going to be here and being shy tonight wasn't going to do me any good. I couldn't leave any questions unasked.
“So, Collin, where do you live?” I forced myself to take a bite of my mashed potatoes.
“San Francisco, East Bay to be exact,” he said, grabbing his glass and taking a drink.
He looked a little nervous, but maybe I was just being overly observant.
“San Francisco!” I gasped slightly, but pushed it back when I realized how I started to respond. “That's like hours and hours away from here right?”
“Yes, but it’s a quick flight.” He smiled. “About an hour and fifteen minutes. Not too bad.”
“That's right,” Katherine agreed. “That’s not that bad at all, so you had better visit more often!”
Collin smiled back but didn't respond. The silence was excruciating. I wanted a yes or no answer. Maybe he didn’t want to come back. Was this his only visit? The stress was overwhelming.
“Breanna, do you not like the meal, dear? You've barely touched your plate...I thought you were hungry.”
I glanced at Katherine. “Oh, um...” I looked at my full plate of food. “The meal's great.” I picked up my fork and forced another bite in my mouth. I wasn't hungry at all. The knots in my stomach had already filled it, but I didn't want to be rude.
“Collin, I hear you play sports?” Brian asked.
Collin nodded. “Football. I’ve tried basketball and a little baseball, but I really couldn't get into it.”
“I can agree with you on that. I used to play a little football myself in high school. Man, those were the days...” Brian stabbed a piece of steak with his fork. “What position do you
play?”
“I play wide receiver,” Collin answered.
My impatience was building. Knowing my Dad and how he was when he talked sports, the rest of the discussion could turn into a sports center news cap. I waited for a break in the conversation and cut in.
“Collin?”
He looked at me. For a second, I lost my train of thought.
“Yeah?” He waited.
The awkward silence made me tense.
“Ummm,” I nervously chuckled, then I remembered what I wanted to ask him. “You and Austin look really close in age. How old are you?”
“Eighteen,” he answered back.
Eighteen? My curious mind began to wonder if he was in high school or college.
Katherine put a hand to her heart. “I can't believe you're eighteen already! All too soon you’ll be off to college!” Katherine answered my unspoken question. She tore a piece of bread in half. “So, have you applied to any colleges yet?”
“A few.” He didn’t give details.
“Bre, would you like some more?” Austin asked, noticing my almost empty plate.
I had managed to choke down almost all of my dinner and the thought of consuming anything else made my stomach turn. “No, thank you,” I politely refused.
“The dinner was fantastic. Thank you,” Collin said to his mother.
“You’re very welcome, honey.”
We all gave our appreciation for the dinner as Katherine grabbed everyone's plates and took them into the kitchen to start cleaning up.
“Mom, do you want any help?” Austin asked.
“No, no, I'm fine. You kids go and have fun.” She shooed us away with her hand. “This won’t take me long at all.”
Reaching Austin's room, I was shocked.
“Wow, Austin I’ve never seen your room so clean!” I chuckled.
Everything was in its rightful place. The books were in the bookcase, his bed was made and not one pair of shoes was left out.
“Yeah well, Mom told me that if I didn't clean it before Collin got here she’d give him my room for the week and make me sleep outside.”
We all laughed at the thought of Katherine tossing her baby boy out in the cold. She wasn't the type.
Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1) Page 23