She was sitting all alone underneath a huge oak tree on the outskirts of the school. My adrenaline started pulsating through my blood, and my eyes narrowed in her direction. All sympathy for her was gone now, and I didn’t think about what I’d do next, I acted.
“Bre, where you going?” Rebecca questioned as I threw open the door without an explanation. “We still have one more page to read.”
I slammed it hard and stomped toward her. She wasn’t looking at Josh, but that didn’t mean anything, and it didn’t matter anymore. I was on a mission. I looked for someone by her, near her, around her, but the closest person was about three full car lengths away and standing with their back turned. She was still dressed in her dark clothing, but there was a little change, she wasn’t wearing as much dark makeup, the colors were more natural. She looked like her pictures in the photo albums. Her hair was a shade lighter, more of a dark brown instead of midnight black.
It was strange. I expected her to look up and see me coming, but she didn’t. She was playing with a piece of grass, not paying attention to anyone.
“Bre, what are you doing?” Rebecca whispered in disapproval, catching up to me.
“It’s time for her to explain.” I fixed my eyes on her, almost wishing she’d look up to see me coming. I wanted her to be caught off guard for a change. But she wasn’t.
I was five steps away from her when she finally looked up and saw me.
“We need to talk,” I demanded immediately.
She could tell I was upset, but she played it off well. “About what?”
My hands balled up into tight fists. “You know what.”
“No, I don’t,” she said in a lethargic tone, shrugging her shoulders and then looking back down at the piece of grass in her hands, almost in a defeated way. I was taken aback a little by her posture.
Frustrated by her lack of cooperation, and that she didn’t feel threatened at all, made the ravaging creature deep inside of me grow to new heights. Maybe this was her strategy and, if so, she was winning.
“How can you just sit there? You know what I’m talking about!”
“Bre, if you know what’s best for you, you’ll leave right now,” she muttered, still looking down, her tone wary.
“I’m not leaving,” I objected.
She sat there for a long while not saying anything. I didn’t move. I didn’t speak. I stared and waited.
“I have nothing to say to you.” Her voice tightened and her eyes glared up at me. Grabbing her backpack, she stood and I took a forceful step forward.
“There’s a lot that needs to be said,” I hissed.
She dodged me. “No, there isn’t. Just leave me alone.”
I felt my face harden. She turned and started walking away.
“What does he want?” I yelled.
She kept walking.
“I know about Lapsus,” I yelled again.
She froze and her shoulders flinched at the sound of his name. That did it. Saying his name out loud made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but I needed to stand firm and not show fear right now.
She turned around, her eyes pained. “How do you know about him?” she whispered.
No. I wasn’t going to do this. I wasn’t going to let her dictate this. I came here for answers and she was going to start giving them.
“Who is he, Eve?” I was firm.
She slowly took a few steps forward, looking around us, maybe to make sure other people weren’t watching, or maybe it was because he was close by and I didn’t know it. I took a few quick glances around me and brought my penetrating stare back on her. No one was around us.
“I don’t know how you know about him but whatever you’re doing, I’m warning you right now, you need to stop.” Her eyes bored deep into mine.
That punched me right in the gut. “I need to stop?” I said a little louder.
Rebecca shushed me at the sight of curious eyes peering in our direction. She was standing near me like a silent sentinel watchdog. She had my back.
I lowered the volume. “I’m not the one that needs to stop here. You’re the one following me, remember?”
“I can’t stop it!” she bellowed. “Don’t you think if I could, I would? I wish I never came here. I wish I never even knew you!” Her voice was shaking.
“What does he want from me?” I pushed.
“You don’t know who you’re up against. You’re really putting me in a horrible position right now. I shouldn’t be talking to you. He’ll know. Just leave it alone. I’m begging you, please stop.”
Her pleading looked sincere, then again I didn’t know her at all. It was like she was two different people. Who was she right now in front of me? The girl who almost killed me the other day, or the girl from Southern California who had somewhat of a heart?
“He won’t know if you don’t tell him. If you’re afraid of this guy, whoever he is, just get away from him.”
She shook her head. “I can’t get away from him.” Her voice shook, strain plainly on her face.
“Yes you can, just leave.” I glared at her.
“It’s so easy for you to say that, but you don’t know.” She paused, then said under her breath. “There’s only one way.”
My breath escaped me at those four words. She didn’t realize I knew exactly what she meant. The only way to free herself from Lapsus was to stop me.
“Bre,” Beck interrupted. “Look who’s coming.”
Josh must’ve heard the commotion and was heading straight for us. I glared back at Eve, but spoke to Rebecca. “Can you go distract him?”
“Sure.” Becka sprang into action like a soldier. But I wasn’t sure how long her skills would hold up.
“Tell him to back off,” I told Eve, making my point. I glanced back to Josh. “I can’t stop this. I can’t let people die.”
“Is something gonna happen to Josh?” Eve’s eyes widened.
Just then my heart dropped, I couldn’t believe what I had just done. “No,” I hastily said, trying to take back the words.
“I can’t believe it. It’s Josh!” Eve gasped, looking down and away from me. “He was wrong?” she whispered to herself, lacing her eyebrows together in confusion.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. I was missing something.
If she didn’t know about Josh then who was it that Lapsus was “wrong” about? Who did Lapsus think was in danger?
“I need to leave,” Eve abruptly said and turned to go.
“No! Who’s in danger?” I demanded.
“I gotta go.” She wasn’t listening to me anymore.
I grabbed her arm and she ripped herself away.
“Who is it, Eve? What’re you talking about? You need to tell me!” I urgently repeated.
She swept her eyes to Josh and then back to me.
“Bre, if you’re smart, you would forget it, and go on with your life.”
Shaking, I spoke as a last plea, “Eve, all I can do right now is beg you to stop. Beg you to tell this Lapsus to leave me alone and everyone else.”
She looked into my eyes and with a deep worried breath, she uttered, “I can’t.”
The phone rang a few times before going to voicemail. I sighed, hung up and tried again, only to be disappointed. It had been a week and two days since Collin and Austin left. I hadn’t heard from them, except that one time I missed Collin’s call because of dinner with my mom. He said he’d call back but hadn’t, and the lack of communication left me thinking the worst. I was stressing about why he didn’t call, who he was with, if I’d ever hear from him again.
It was two in the afternoon and Austin should’ve been home hours ago. I tried calling the house a few times but only got the answering machine. Maybe he knew it was me and was avoiding my calls. I don’t know.
I didn’t go to school. Faking an illness always worked for me. If I immediately went straight to my Dad in the morning half asleep with grogginess in my voice, I sounded sick and he believed me.
<
br /> Three reasons why I didn’t want to go to school. One, I didn’t want to face Eve, I wasn’t ready. And two, I wanted to talk to Austin as soon as possible to clear things up between us. The third reason was to find out about Collin. I couldn’t sit still one more second, so I decided to go over to Austin’s house and see if he was there. I would wait outside all day if I had to.
I drove up to his house. It didn’t seem like anyone was home. There were no cars in the driveway, including Austin’s truck, which was a good sign. At least I knew he was in town. I walked up to the house, knocked and peeked in through one of the windows. No one was there. Everything was still. I sat down on the front step, thinking about what I was going to say to him. Maybe I would start out with something like, ‘Austin, you know how much I care for you’ or maybe, ‘How was your trip?’ No that was stupid! Of course his trip was bad. Maybe I should apologize? As I ran different versions in my head - not able to come up with anything appropriate - I kept hearing something in the distance. It sounded like music, but I didn’t know where it was coming from. It was beautiful.
I stood up and walked toward the sound. It was coming from somewhere behind the house. I didn’t see anything around the corner, but it was definitely louder back there. It sounded like it was closer to the water. I kept walking. Even if it wasn’t down there, at least the water would be nicer to sit by than the steps of the house. I could hear a guitar. As I got closer to the water, I began to hear someone singing. It was a guy’s voice.
I was almost to the opening of the water’s edge when I saw him.
“Collin?” I gasped.
He stopped playing and turned to me.
“Breanna?”
“What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?” I couldn’t believe it! He was here! I couldn’t help but gush with excitement, “It’s so good to see you!” But as I finished, I noticed he didn’t show the same emotions back, which put me on guard. Maybe he didn’t call because he didn’t want to see me. Clearly he wasn’t as excited to see me as I was to see him.
“It’s good to see you too, Bre. Sorry I didn’t call. It’s just been…a little crazy.”
“Of course, I understand. Don’t be sorry, you’re dealing with a lot right now. I don’t mean to dismiss that, but how are you?”
It sounded cliché and suddenly I wished I hadn’t asked. I’m sure he’d been asked a hundred different times and the last thing he wanted to think about was the situation. How would anyone be doing after losing their father?
“I’m fine,” he said avoiding eye contact.
“Where’s Austin?”
“He went to the library to get some homework done. He hasn’t done much of anything for the last week and has a lot of catching up to do.”
“Oh,” I hmmm-d.
There was an awkward silence, and I just stood there like an idiot.
“Wanna sit down?” he offered to me. I wasn’t sure if he meant it or if he was just being polite.
“You sure? I don’t want to interrupt.” I gestured toward his guitar.
“No, I want you to stay.”
I was relieved that he seemed to mean it.
I couldn’t help but stare at him. His vulnerability made him more gorgeous than ever. He was wearing the dark blue shirt that I loved. It made his striking eyes stand out even more. It was hard to look away as I sunk into his eyes. Something about them was almost hypnotic and made me melt.
“It is really good to see you. I’ve been worried about you. I just wish,” my voice trailed off and I took a deep breath. “I wish this didn’t happen.” I cringed. ‘I could have prevented this!’ skipped through my mind, like a pebble skimming over the water, forming little ripples in my stomach. The feeling had me envisioning how ripples can collide with one another. You never knew how one would affect another.
“Thank you. That means a lot,” he said intently, with a half-smile. He held onto my gaze, reaching down into my soul. My emotions were carrying me away and the feeling of wanting to be closer to him was even more intense. I wanted to stay suspended in this moment forever. All I needed was just to breathe. Collin provided everything else. I bit my lip nervously.
“Are you visiting or…” I wanted to ask if he was here to stay, but I was too nervous.
He looked out to the house across the creek. I could tell the answer was difficult. Maybe this was the only day he had. I started to panic. He looked back to me. His expression indecipherable.
“I had to make the decision to stay in San Francisco and live with my Aunt Julie or…come back here.”
He paused. I sat still, waiting anxiously for his answer, praying that it was the answer I wanted to hear. Tick, tick, tick, like a clock. My heart was throbbing. So many thoughts ran through my head. It seemed like an eternity.
“I chose here,” he finally answered. He studied my reaction.
“You’re going to live here! You live here now?” I couldn’t believe it. I was expecting him to say he was going back to San Francisco, but that’s not what came out of his mouth.
I had to confirm it again. “You’re not going back?”
His lips curled up slightly. “I’m not going back,” he answered. “Does that make you happy?” he asked, already knowing what my response would be.
“Yes!” I blurted out and then suddenly felt insecure about my lack of self-control.
He breathed out a laugh, “Good. I was hoping you’d say that.” He smiled bigger. Oh, how I missed his smile! It made my insides wake-up like new spring leaves on a tree being brought to life again by the sun.
I felt my face start to flush. There was no hiding how I felt about him. I could hardly get out my next words, I was so enthralled. “But what about your life in San Francisco? I know you’ll miss your friends. Are you going to be okay beginning a new life here?”
His smile vanished. “Of course I’ll miss it. It’s the only home I’ve ever known.” He seemed troubled by that and I started regretting asking that question. I didn’t want him to think about the “what- if’s” because I didn’t want him to change his mind. “I’m going to miss all the people that I love there.”
When he said that, I remembered the night he said ‘I love you too’ to some girl.
I hesitated. “What about the girl?”
He frowned at me. “What girl?”
“The girl…on the phone, the night you called. There was a girl that came into the room and you told her that…you loved her.” I watched him process, then his eyes widened as he remembered who it was.
I took a deep breath before he spoke.
“Oh, that,” he laughed.
“What’s so funny?” I tilted my chin down and eyed him.
“Nothing…That girl, the one you heard?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
He chuckled again. “That was my cousin, Sarah!”
“Oh,” I breathed a sigh of relief and then suddenly felt really stupid. I wanted to make a wish and take the question back. What an idiot I was. Now, he’ll think I’m this overly jealous person who will be questioning him all the time.
“Did you really think it was a girl that I was seeing?” He liked this way too much. I could tell by the way he was holding back a laugh.
“No,” I tried to lie. I wasn’t very convincing.
He raised one eyebrow, not believing me.
“Alright,” I gave in. “I might have thought you found someone else when you got home or maybe it was someone you were seeing before we met, and you didn’t tell me.”
“Bre,” he said with all seriousness now on his perfect face, “There’s no one else. I promise.” He took my hand and traced the back of it.
His touch was so soft and sent butterflies dancing in my stomach. If my heart beat any louder, he’d be able to hear it.
He continued, softly. “The decision to move here was the easiest one I ever had to make. I knew what I was going to do the second my mom asked me.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” He paused, thinking. “You are the reason I chose to come here.”
Hearing him say those words was everything. I smiled slightly as he reached up and touched my face.
“What?” I whispered apprehensively, as he stared at me.
He didn’t answer right away. He pursed his smiling lips together. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.
I smiled and dropped my eyes, pulling my hair over my ears.
His hands were warm on my cheeks. “Bre,” he continued. I looked back to him. “This has been the worst week of my life, but I still missed you the entire time I was away.”
“I thought because you didn’t call, you didn’t want to talk to me,” I admitted. I realized how much I missed him too.
“No, not at all.” He shook his head, dropping his hand down to mine. “I wanted to call you every day. I just…I was in a really bad place and I didn’t want you to hear me like that.”
“But, I could’ve helped you. I wanted to help you through this.” I looked into his eyes.
“I know you did…but I’m okay now.” He smiled, but he didn’t fool me. I could still see the pain behind his eyes. His hurt, the tremendous loss in his life. It cut into my heart and I wanted so badly to fix it, to heal his pain somehow. But there really was nothing I could do except be there for him and not bring it up again, unless he needed to talk about it. I decided not to push the subject anymore and change the course of the conversation.
“What were you playing just now?”
He rubbed the back of this neck. “Oh um…it was nothing.” He picked up his guitar and started strumming.
“What was it?” I reached out and touched his shoulder. “It was really good.”
I dropped my hand back to my lap. He seemed reluctant to talk about it for some reason.
“I’ve never heard it before,” I finally said.
“That’s because I wrote it,” he quietly disclosed as he looked down at the strings.
My eyes widened. “Really! You wrote that?” I was shocked because it was so good. I had no idea that he played, let alone wrote music.
“Yes...I wrote it for you,” he said softly, looking at me. He was lightly strumming the chords to the song. It was so beautiful.
Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1) Page 32