“Friends,” he held out his hand.
I slid my hand into his. “Friends.” We shook once and I smiled.
“Good.” He showed his pearly whites.
“Austin?” I tried to gulp down my nerves.
“Yeah?”
“Now that we’re back to being friends, do you want to go to a party this Saturday?”
“A party, ummm…I thought you told me you would never go to another party again after what happened to Rebecca?”
“I know. It’s just, I kind of already said I’d go, and I really don’t want to go by myself. Plus, Caleb blackmailed me into taking him, so I can’t let him go alone,” I said, a little reluctant.
He shrugged. “I don’t have to work that night, just in the morning so, sure.”
“Yeah, I have to work in the morning too, so I guess it all works out,” I replied. Truthfully, I was dreading this, but I hid it from him.
“Great. Well it sounds like we’ll be spending the entire day together then.” He smiled.
“Yep, I guess so,” I replied.
He quickly corrected his statement, adding, “Just as friends.”
“Right,” I half-smiled.
I tore apart my room, but I couldn’t find it. I looked everywhere, in the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, every inch of the house, but the journal was gone.
Caleb was sitting on the floor of his room, playing one of his video games when I stormed in.
“Where is it, Caleb!” I demanded.
“Where is what?” he asked, eyes glued to the TV screen, flinching his body back and forth to the racecar game.
“The notebook?”
“What notebook?” He slammed his fist on the ground as the screen flashed second place. Pushing the restart button, he began another race.
“The one you asked me about the night I brought it in, the one that had all the writing on the top of it. Come on, I know you have it. Where is it?”
“I didn’t take your stupid notebook. Darn it!” he yelled as he crashed into a wall, making his car spin into last place.
“Yeah, right,” I said unconvinced.
He pressed pause and looked up at me.
“Bre, really, I don’t have it. I don’t want to know about your disgusting love life. Yuck!” He shook his head and wrinkled his nose at the thought.
“Hey guys, what are you doing?” Susan walked into the room.
My irritation went through the roof.
“Just playing my game,” Caleb said, turning around and starting it again.
“Good morning, Breanna.”
I didn’t say anything to her. I didn’t even look at her, hoping she’d get the point and leave.
When I didn’t respond, she asked, “So what’re you looking for exactly?”
“Nothing,” I said coldly.
“You must be looking for something important if you’re accusing your brother of taking it.”
“I said I’m not looking for anything.”
This woman was relentless. Couldn’t she ever take a hint?
“Bre, why won’t you ever talk to me?” she asked with frustration in her tone.
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
She closed her mouth and breathed in through her nose, eyeing me. “Yes, I am. I have tried to be nice to you. I have tried to have a relationship with you, but you’re always shoving me away. What am I supposed to do?”
“Nothing,” I said abruptly.
She didn’t say anything. But she didn’t leave either.
I couldn’t handle it anymore. “If you want to do something then leave and let us go back to living our life without you.”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out. That hurt her, but I didn’t care.
Finally, it was all bubbling up inside of me, everything that had been brewing since she told us she didn’t want to be our mother. I had to say it or I was going to explode from the pressure. “Dad wants me to be nice to you, to treat you with respect, like a daughter should treat her mother, but I’m telling you right now, it’s never going to happen. For sixteen years, I needed you. I waited for you to come home, hoping you missed me, maybe even loved me enough to stay home. That never happened. You never cared about your family, and now that you’re forced to stay home, you expect us to welcome you with open arms? It’s too late, at least for me.” I glared at her, emphasizing every word, so each one cut her deep and hard. I wanted her to hurt as badly as I had all those years. I wanted her to feel how she abandoned me. “I will never accept you as my mother, so don’t try to be one now.”
Susan’s eyes glazed over. Her lips pulled down at the corners. I could feel the heat of the budding tears start to surface in my eyes, but I kept them at bay at least until she walked out. I wanted to leave my emotions out of it, but it was hard. She’d missed everything. Why should I take her back now? My body began to shiver with anger, but the hurt was floating to the top. I didn’t want to feel like this, I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I was sixteen years old and it was too late. She has missed my entire life.
Susan finally headed for the door. I began to walk out as well, but then she stopped in the doorway.
“Excuse me,” I said, trying to get around her.
“No,” she muttered softly, through gritted teeth.
“What?” I replied indignantly. I couldn’t take being in there anymore, I had to get out.
“No.” She turned around and looked right into my eyes. Her face was pure stone.
“I would like to leave now,” I demanded weakly.
“You’re not going anywhere until I say something to you first.” She stepped back in through the doorway, and I had to take a big step back. I folded my arms across my chest.
“Your father has let you and your brother get away with a lot, but the way you’re talking to me right now is disrespectful and I will no longer tolerate it. I am your mother, and you will treat me with respect. I don’t care about this little attitude you have. When you’re in my presence, you will conduct yourself in a respectful manner. You will listen to me and do as I say. I have had it, and I let it go on for too long. It will stop now, right now! If it doesn’t, then there will be consequences. Now, I have tried to play nice and that hasn’t worked. But trust me, you do not want to go toe to toe with me. I am here for good, so get used to it.” She was stern but there was still liquid in her eyes.
I wanted to fight back, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. And with that, she walked out of the room.
I hated her. I hated her with every inch of my being. A tear passed down my cheek, but I wiped it away. If she thinks that my attitude toward her is going to change, she’s so wrong.
“Dang, Bre!” Caleb’s game was on pause, his jaw hanging open. He’d watched the whole exchange.
“Don’t,” I hissed.
“Man, she’s not as bad as you would think.”
I flipped around, shocked. “I can’t believe you. Not that bad? This woman is the same person who at your fifth birthday party sat on the phone all day going over a stupid work proposal, while everyone was outside playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and watching you open up your presents. The same woman who, when you hit your first home run, was out of the country on vacation without us. Even when she had the opportunity to spend time with us, she chose to be somewhere else. Where was she when you graduated from junior high? Oh yeah I remember, she was out getting her hair done rather than watch her son receive special honors and recognition for having one of the highest GPA’s in his entire class!”
His face dropped at the painful reminder of how much she really did miss.
“Can you leave now?” He stared at his controller.
“Caleb,” I bent down and put my arm around him. “I know it’s confusing and hard for you, but you always have me and Dad. I just don’t want you to continue to be hurt by her. You don’t remember a lot of it because you were so young, but she was this way even from before you were born.”
The ho
pe in his eyes was breaking my heart.
“But, what if it’s different this time? I mean she’s been here for months, and her and Dad seem like they’re doing better. They’re going on vacation this weekend and everything.”
I hated that he kept trying to convince himself of the possibility that the past could be erased and we’d have that ideal family someday. I could only keep it real for him and protect him from further needless hurt.
“Caleb, I’m telling you, it’s not going to last.”
He turned his head away from me shielding his face.
I placed my hand on his shoulder and then stood up. “Want a ride to school?”
“Sure,” he whispered.
He was quiet the whole way, but quiet was what he needed right then.
At the end of school, I met Collin over by the bleachers. I needed to talk to him about something important. Luckily, Austin had to go straight to work, so we didn’t need to hide from him.
“I need to ask you something,” I began.
“Alright,” Collin replied.
“But I don’t want you to take it the wrong way, or think I’m totally off my rocker, okay?”
“Okay.” He sat there quietly.
“So, remember the night we got stuck up at the caves?”
“Yeah,” He leaned forward.
“And we started talking about how you saw me and Josh. You know, the dream you had of him and me where I was trying to get to him?”
“Yeah, you were running toward him, screaming his name.”
“Right. Did you see anything else that you can remember?”
He thought about it. “No, not really, why?”
I sighed. “Are you sure there was nothing else?”
“No, just you running and screaming his name, and there was a mob of people you were trying to get through.” His eyes tightened with concern, “Why?”
I closed my eyes to get the picture in my mind. “There was a mob of people. What did the surroundings look like? Was I outside? Was it winter or summer? Please think.” I tried not to sound too demanding, but I was desperate.
“Bre, what’s this all about?”
I took a deep breath. “Well, remember I told you that I sometimes have visions?”
“Yes, and dreams, right?”
“Right. And I told you about the plane and how I stopped the Andersons from getting on it that day?” I continued.
“Yeah.”
“And why Austin didn’t come to visit you?” I added.
“Of course. That’s why I came out here,” he said, really starting to ponder. “But why are you bringing it all up? How does this have anything to do with Josh?”
I cleared my throat and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I think something’s gonna happen to Josh, but I don’t have all the pieces yet. When a vision comes to me it’s in pieces. I never get the whole picture. So that’s why I’m asking, because for some strange reason, you saw what I saw.”
“I think the only reason why I saw what I did was because of you though,” he said. He paused and I started to get a little worried that this was too much for him.
“Are you freaked out?” I asked.
“No,” he said, unconvincingly. “I mean, it’s a little strange, but I believe you. If it weren’t for the fact that I saw you in my dream before we actually met, I might think differently.”
“Good, because I was worried about bringing it up again. All of this is still really new to me, and I’m trying to figure it all out.”
“You said you see the visions in pieces. What’ve you seen?”
“Colors. Green and yellow…Um, and I see the number twelve. I have no idea what it means, and the letters U, D and O. Oh yeah, and I see water with objects floating, sinking in it, but have no idea what they are.” I frowned and looked at the field.
“Hmmm…I don’t know. Like I said, I told you what I saw. You were in some type of building with a lot of people, that’s all.”
“Yeah…that’s the only thing I remember.” I sighed, frustrated.
There was a pause in the conversation, neither of us knowing where to go from there. “So…I leave tonight,” he said, changing the subject.
“Tonight?” I had forgotten all about his trip to the university. “Where is it?”
“The college is in Eugene, Oregon.”
“Oh,” I said a little shocked. I thought he was looking at schools further away.
“What? You seem surprised.” He smiled.
“I just thought you were looking into schools in New York City or San Francisco.”
His voice dropped low. “Yeah well, I decided I want to be a little bit closer to you,” his eyes fleeting to meet mine. “Eugene is only two and a half hours away. It’s only a morning drive, and I’d be able to see you more often.” He watched me for a response, sitting very still.
I felt my lips turn up automatically as my heart beamed with warm radiance. Just hearing him say that took some weight off of me. I was still sad that he was going to be two hours away, but it was definitely better than a whole state away.
Right then, I heard a heated confrontation at the end of the bleachers. I peeked around to see what was going on and that’s when I saw Eve and Katie. My throat hit my stomach. I already knew - without hearing them - what they were fighting about.
“Oh, no,” I muttered.
“What’s wrong?” Collin asked, looking in the direction that I was.
I could tell Eve was accusing Katie of coming to the house. Katie was flailing her arms in the air. Every time Eve said something, she took a step closer to Katie. But just as Katie began to step back, she got right back in Eve’s face. I watched carefully, trying to read lips but doing a horrible job. I strained to try to hear what they were saying, but all I got was, ‘you can’t!’ and I think I heard a, ‘where is it?’ I don’t think I breathed during the entire yelling session. Finally, after about three minutes of thrashing and arguing, Eve backed off and appeared to listen to Katie. Katie’s hands only rose up now to point to herself, and she shook her head a lot.
I turned to Collin and told him I had to leave. Right when we got down from the bleachers was when I felt their cold stares on me. I glanced over to see Katie stalking in our direction.
“It was you, wasn’t it!” she hissed when she was ten feet away.
“What?” I stood firm, telling myself over and over not to cower.
Eve came up behind her. It was my intention not to look at her, but I couldn’t help it. My sight slowly moved in that direction, resting upon hateful, glassy eyes. She didn’t say a word. She just dropped her chin down and looked up through her lashes, as if she was getting ready to lunge for me. My body shivered as I read her threatening posture.
She knew. She knew it was me. There was no need for her to say anything; no need to question whether or not it was me; no need for me to make up excuses. She knew it and I knew it. And I heard correctly when she said to Katie, “Where is it.” She was looking for the journal; the journal that held all her secrets and answers to my questions. Now I was panicking. She was going to start looking for it, and I couldn’t let that happen. There were still too many unanswered questions, and that journal had to stay in my possession.
“You went to Eve’s house and broke in, didn’t you?” Katie yelled at me.
“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said quickly.
She breathed out a disbelieving laugh, “I can’t believe you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you would stoop to this, accusing me of something you did…where is it, Bre?”
I kept my face blank. “Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have anything.”
Eve’s eyes grew darker and sharper.
“Don’t play stupid with me,” Katie snapped.
Eve stepped in front of Katie. My legs locked up. I didn’t know what she was going to do, but I was ready. She stood there for a moment, staring me down. Collin grabbed my arm, caution
ing me not to react. Then she walked away without a word. She disappeared behind one of the buildings.
“I told you this wasn’t over, you can be sure of that now. You have no idea what you’re in for,” Katie’s eyes burned as she glared at me.
I waited silently.
“Katie, if she said she didn’t do it then she didn’t do it,” Collin interjected, trying to help the situation.
“You two know each other?” I gasped.
Katie quickly swept her eyes back and forth between both Collin and I.
Collin shrugged. “Sure. We have AP English together. The class is combined with juniors and seniors and we sit by each other. I found out today she’s also going up to Eugene to check out the school.”
Katie’s eyes brightened as her lips curled over her teeth. She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah, about that…wanna ride up there together? The bus ride is long and it’d be nice to get to know you better.” She glided her hand down his arm and smiled at him, obviously flirting.
I was already enraged but now felt suddenly sick. There was nothing I could do about this. Collin was clueless. I had to warn him. I needed to explain our history and tell him to keep his distance from her. Who knows what she’d do when I wasn’t with him, and they were going to be gone for an entire weekend, together.
“Sure, that would be great!” Collin smiled at her.
“Um, Collin can I talk to you?” I interrupted. There was panic in my voice, and Katie knew it. She smiled wider.
“Collin, you know the bus leaves in an hour. You’d better get going,” Katie reminded him.
“Oh,” Collin looked down at his watch, “Bre, I really do need to go, but I’ll call you on the way.”
“But,” I stammered.
He kissed the back of my hand and said to Katie, “I’ll see you soon.”
Awaken (Awaken Series Book 1) Page 36