by C. T. Worth
Chapter 15
Resting his elbows on the table and using his hands to prop up his head, Leland’s eyes followed the plate as his father lowered it. It scraped against the table’s surface as it was being pushed toward him. Leland’s upper lip lifted in the corner.
“Not hungry?” Hunter asked.
Leland picked up a roll and turned it over. “It's yellow on the bottom.”
“That is because it's a roll.”
“But her rolls were always really dark brown on the bottom.”
Hunter sighed. “She overcooked them.”
“I know. That’s the way I like them. They might not taste as good, but it reminds me of how she gets distracted talking and acts really funny as she tries to get them away from heat.” He took a bite of the roll. “It doesn't seem right that the Foresters get two housekeepers for the night and we don’t get any.”
Hunter carried his plate over to the table and took a seat opposite his boy. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m not sure the one we gave them is much of a help.”
“She was getting better. And I miss her.”
Hunter missed her too. She hadn’t been gone from the mill for more than thirty seconds when he began to regret his words. He picked up his fork and knife and cut the meat off the bone. “How can you miss her? You were with her less than three hours ago.”
“Because I know she’s not coming back. Miss Fletcher walked me back from school, and after we ate lunch, Lilian came into the kitchen. She’d been crying. They told me to go do my homework out on the front stoop.”
He’d made her cry. The thought filled him with sadness. That was how she would remember him. “I don’t see how you drew the conclusion she ain't coming back from that, but…”
“What did you say to her?” Leland cut him off. He stared at his father with such scrutiny, he could have been a judge.
Sometimes, Hunter Winfield wished his child was a little less astute. There were times his power of deduction could be of great benefit, but when it was used against him, it was like a weapon.
Still, the kid had no proof he was involved. Hunter raised his hands as if to surrender. “What have I got to do with this?”
“I know you talked to her. Before I got to the back door, she told Miss Fletcher she had just come from the mill.”
Hunter dropped his chin to his chest. He pushed the potatoes around with his fork. He didn’t feel much like eating. Leland wasn't the only one upset.
“We got in an argument,” he mumbled.
“Why?”
That same question had been plaguing Hunter for the past three hours. Why had he said what he had, and how exactly was he supposed to explain it to Leland? I yelled at her because I don’t like the politics of a man she rejected? Because she was born north of Virginia? I got mad because she lied, even though I was pretty sure I’ve known she was lying all along? No. None of those things mattered. He hadn't really been angry about them. The truth was, he had been jealous and scared of losing her. He was hurt and angry with himself for allowing his heart to grow so attached.
But then she’d said she loved him. He should have been elated. But he didn’t know how to turn off all of the emotions that had been building inside of him. He needed time to process what she had said. And if he was really being honest, her words had made him even more afraid. If she loved him, if they really wanted to give this a shot, there was a chance it wouldn’t work. And if he had hurt this much after only knowing her for a little over a month — well, he didn’t know if he could survive any more heartache.
So, the answer to Leland’s question was simple; he had pushed her away. And in doing so, he had ruined everything.
“It was over nonsense,” he mumbled stuffing a bite into his mouth. He wouldn’t have been able to name what it was he was eating. It seemed food had lost all flavor. Even the colors around him were muted.
“Then why not just tell her so and get her to come back?”
If only it were that easy. “It doesn't quite work like that with adults, Lee. I made her cry.” She had said she loved him, and he turned her away. That was not something he could just apologize for.
“How would you know if you haven't tried? If you tell her you're sorry, maybe she’ll forgive you.”
“I doubt it. But even if she did, it wouldn't be the same.”
For the first time in weeks, Hunter thought of Mildred. He had learned something there. Even when everything went smoothly and the relationship was perfect, it would still end, and that would always lead to heartbreak.
He reached across the table and ruffled Leland’s hair. “I know it's hard now, but we’ll get used to this. And when we do, we will both be glad that it's just us boys living here.”
Leland believes that just about as much as I do.
Chapter 16
Hunter got out of bed before the sun had. It had been pointless trying to fall asleep. Leland had said something the day before, and he could not stop thinking about what it meant.
The Forester/Spencer wedding was taking place in less than a week. They had planned a breakfast for their guests following the ceremony. Ever since Lilian had left, Hunter had been trying to figure out a way to talk to her. This breakfast sounded like it could prove to be the perfect opportunity.
The prior evening, he had collected Leland from the Foresters’ home after work. If Lilian had been home, she had retired to her room, for there was no sign of her. On the ride home, he casually suggested that Leland could ask Miss Fletcher to see if she could make sure they were seated next to Lilian during the celebration. Leland’s response was simple yet perplexing. Five little words. “She’ll be gone by then.”
Did he mean Lilian would be gone? Where was she going? When would she be back? What was it she needed to do? Why couldn't it wait until after the wedding? Question after question swirled around in his mind. Occasionally, he would form a possible answer, but his speculation only added to his anxiety. Maybe she wasn't a part of his life any longer and he had no right to know what she was doing or where she was going, but his heart demanded that he pry anyway.
He walked back to the room he shared with Leland. The sun had pulled back her covers, and the room, while still dark, was filling with that early morning glow. He crossed to his son’s bed and sat down at the bottom. His hand rubbed the boy’s back.
“Leland, are you awake?”
The lifeless body did nothing.
The rubbing became more of a gentle shaking. “Leland, buddy, did you wake-up early too?” His voice had grown a little louder.
The child grunted into his pillow, but a soft rhythmic snoring soon followed.
Hunter scanned the room. A copy of the Bible sat on the small table that separated their two beds. He stretched over, picked up the book, said a quick apology to God, and dropped the book on the floor. Seconds after the loud bang, Leland spun around and sat up. His eyes were wide open, and he looked around frantically until he noticed his father.
“Pa, what happened?”
“Oh, sorry about that. I bumped into the table there and the good book fell. I hope it didn’t wake you up.”
Leland rubbed his eyes and yawned. “No, I was about to wake up anyway.”
“Good.” Hunter stood and ran his fingers through his hair. He put one hand on his hip and began to pace the space between their two beds. “Say, I was wondering…I mean I’m curious about something you said yesterday.”
“About Miss Lilian?”
Hunter didn’t even want to know how his child had figured that out. He just nodded.
“She told Miss Fletcher she was moving back to Ohio to be with her family. I think she has a friend who offered to take her there.”
For days Hunter had tried telling himself that he was better off without her. That if she came back, he would either grow more attached and be more devastated when she figured out he was not worthy of her love, or they would form a family and one day one of them would need to go through the kind of
pain no one should experience. But now, faced with the very real possibility that he was about to lose her forever, he could admit that the third option was even worse. Living without her, never knowing if it could have worked, was its own form of misery. The moment she had admitted her love, things had changed. Every path from that point forward had the possibility for pain. But only one option also held the promise of happiness. The choice was so obvious. Why he hadn't been able to see it earlier was a mystery. But now that he understood, now that he knew what he needed to do, he couldn’t wait.
“Son, I need to run into town for a little while. Will you be okay here alone for a bit? If it looks like I’ll be more than an hour, I’ll send Miss Fletcher to stay with you.”
“Are you going to get her back?”
“I’m gonna try.”
Leland’s face split into the widest smile Hunter had ever seen. “Well stop wasting your time,” his son scolded. “I’ll get breakfast ready while you’re gone. And I’m going to make enough for four.”
Hunter laughed and grabbed his coat before running out of the house and heading to the barn to get his horse.
***
Lilian stood on the deck watching as the boat pulled away from the dock. The last time she had been in a similar situation her boat was arriving at that small fishing community. She had been terrified of the unknown adventure that lay before her. It seemed fitting that the end of her travels was so much like its start. The most notable difference being that her fear had been replaced with sadness.
“You’ve made the right decision,” Levin said. He had approached her from behind, and it was only because she had caught sight of him through her peripheral vision that he had not taken her by surprise. He braced the railing, his hand dangerously close to her own.
“I have not committed to marrying you,” she reminded him.
“But you have agreed to come home, and that is the first step. It is only a matter of time before you come to see what is best for you.
She removed her hands from the railing and pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. The air had grown even more nippy than usual. But she would not be driven indoors just yet. This would be the last time in her life she would be able to see Spruce Hill, and she was going to try her hardest to commit every detail to memory. It was shocking how little time it had taken for her to grow fond of the town. Her gaze traveled toward the lighthouse and stopped at the little beach that lay beneath the tall bluffs. Memories of her first day here swept over her. She could see the light and excitement in Leland’s eyes and Hunter’s amused smirk. She couldn't help but find it strange how such memories managed to bring her a touch of joy along with a healthy dose of melancholy. Perhaps, it really was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
Her attention was drawn back to her immediate surroundings when a crew member who had been standing a few yards away adjusting the rigging, stopped what he was doing and ran to her side. He placed a hand over his brow and stared toward the docks. His expression was so full of curiosity and concern she had to find out what he’d seen. She too turned toward the docks and searched but could find nothing out of the ordinary.
“Man overboard!” he shouted.
A few other men ran forward and the deck seemed to come alive with activity.
Her gaze immediately dropped to the water. She searched between the dock and the boat. Sure enough, someone was swimming toward them.
Levin leaned forward and watched the activity happening on the opposite side of Lilian. “He didn’t fall from the ship!” The comment was directed toward the crew member who had called out the emergency.
“That man’s life is in danger. This isn't a place for swimming. There is a nasty rip current that has pulled more than one out farther into the bay. And even if he is a strong enough swimmer to make it back, with these water temperatures and this weather, a man can freeze trying to return to shore.”
But in any case, it appeared the swimmer had no intention of returning to shore. He continued to approach the ship. It took the crew nearly half an hour to drop the sails, lower the dinghy into the water, paddle it toward the swimmer, and pull him into the small vessel. A small crowd had gathered by this point to watch the scene unfold.
Soon, the man was covered in a thick blanket and the excitement appeared to be reaching its conclusion. The spectators expected the little boat to return the man to the shore before the crew rejoined them and they resumed their journey. When the crew instead rowed toward the ship, it generated a little buzz on deck. Many thought it was one of the passengers who had missed the departure time, but as the figure came closer, Lilian recognized who the swimmer was and gasped.
Levin immediately took her elbow. “Are you alright, Muffin?” He tried to pull her away from the edge of the ship, but she refused to budge. “Come. This excitement is too much for you. We will go inside until all this nonsense has passed.”
She jerked away from him and pushed her way closer to the rigging that would be used to pull up the crew and their passenger. Once Hunter was finally standing on the deck, she pushed past everyone and threw her arms around him. His lips were almost blue, he was shivering, and she was afraid… and angry.
She released him and took a step backward. “What are you doing here, Hunter? Why would you jump into the water like that? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“No. I came to get you back. I needed you to know that I love you. I came because life without you is no life at all.”
Chapter 17
Levin Sanford was not someone who was used to being ignored. When Lilian shrugged him off and walked away, he hadn’t immediately followed. Instead, he stayed rooted in place, attempting to process what had just occurred. Once he had recovered enough of his senses to act, he pushed past the people gathered around the deck and found his Lilian with her arms wrapped around another man. Many men in his situation would have reacted with anger, but above all else, Levin had been trained to do everything in his power to avoid making a public scene.
While this dripping, backwater fool-— presumably the man Lilian professed to being in love with-— declared his undying admiration, Levin worked to disperse the crowd of observers, assuring them that the drama was over and there was nothing of further interest to see. With the crowd mostly dismantled, Levin approached the wet, desperate suitor, and threw an arm around the man’s shoulder.
“You look like you’re freezing old boy. Lilian, why don’t you take this man inside for a cup of hot tea? I’ll be right in to join you.”
It had been his intent to accompany them. He wished to have a private word with the fellow. He needed to explain how, while the whole swimming to the boat might appear to be romantic (or at the very least dramatic), nothing was going to change. The gesture was pointless. What was a single moment compared to years of courtship? And he further needed to make sure this man understood that all he had done was demonstrate his impulsiveness and inability to make rational decisions. Such behaviors could lead to a lifetime of dangerous situations, something all women, including Lilian, would choose to avoid. In short, the man had inadvertently provided further evidence to prove to Lilian that she was making the right choice. She was going back to Ohio where they would be married.
But as he embraced the misguided lover, Levin noticed a member of the crew speaking with the captain near the bow of the ship. His conversation with the village idiot could be delayed for a moment. He waited until Lilian escorted her friend inside the cabin and approached the captain.
“Mr. Sanford,” the captain greeted, adjusting his cap and meeting Levin’s gaze. Years on the sea had leathered the skin around his eyes, but those eyes could still easily convey his thoughts. His expression was apologetic but otherwise inscrutable. He stroked his clipped beard which hid much of his face. “I apologize for the delay in our departure. The crew will have the sails up, and we will be on our way momentarily.”
“But what of our newest arrival? Surely
, he was not intending to travel with us to Astoria.”
“I imagine not, but getting him back on land would further delay our journey, and we can’t delay. The Columbia Steamer might start its journey back to Portland before you board.”
Levin had not considered that this interloper would have the entire journey to Astoria to try to convince his future wife to throw caution to the wind and accept a life in the wilderness. The female mind was so easily twisted and manipulated. Providing that man with so much access to his betrothed seemed dangerous. And what if he continued to follow them? Levin needed to isolate her. That country bumpkin could not be permitted to stay on this boat.
“But how is he going to get back? I had to make special arrangements to have you stop here and collect us. Is there a regularly scheduled passenger ship that brings people to Spruce Hill?”
“I don’t know, but that’s his problem. The crew offered to drop him off at that beach when they fished him out of the water.” The captain pointed to an area halfway between a bridge and the lighthouse. “He said he wanted to be brought on board. They agreed because it was faster than rowing him to land then heading back, but as far as I’m concerned, he had his chance to be returned.”
There was a snap as the sails were pulled tight and the ropes groaned against the wood and metal.
“Who else on this ship is intending to catch the steamship in Astoria?” Levin asked, beginning to panic.
The captain stroked his beard. “No one. As far as I know, the other passengers are traveling by land, and we unloaded our freight at our last stop.”
“If you sail the ship back into port and deposit the man home, no one other than my party will be inconvenienced beyond the loss of time?”