by J. S. Cooper
“Oh, man. Poor Jack.”
“Yeah, so you can understand why he wasn’t that sad to leave the NFL. He felt so betrayed by his teammates, you know?”
“Yeah, that’s really horrible. I’m sorry to hear that.”
“But you want to hear the craziest part?”
“No, what?”
“The teammate. The one that was actually the father?”
“Yeah?”
“He married her.”
“No way. What?”
“Yep. They’re married. If you look online and you Google them, Natalia and Don Harare, you’ll see pictures of them and the baby. So that’s why Jack is the way he is. I mean, it’s understandable, but …”
“He can’t be like that forever, you know. Lots of women do shit like that. I mean, I guess it makes sense now why he finds it hard to trust women and let them in,” I sighed. “I feel so bad for him.”
“It’s been so long now. That’s over ten years ago.” Lucas sounded frustrated, “I mean, I get it. He was betrayed, but he doesn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life, does he?”
“I would hope not,” I said softly.
“You really like him, huh?”
“No,” I said quickly. “I was just curious.”
“Don’t lie to me, Isabella. I know you. You really like him.”
“I mean, maybe,” I said, “But it doesn’t matter. He’s not interested in me like that.”
“You never know,” he said. “Hey, I have an idea.”
“Oh, what’s the idea?”
“So, my grandparents are in town.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Tell them I said hi.”
“You can tell them you said hi yourself.”
“What?”
“I’m having lunch with them. Why don’t you come?”
“No, I’m not going. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
“It’s okay. I’m going to tell them,” he said, “I want them to meet Noah while they’re here, and obviously, I can’t introduce them to Noah if they still think I’m dating you.” He sounded nervous, “So maybe I could use your support, you know?”
“… Are you sure you want me to come?”
“Yeah.”
“And you know who’ll be there.”
“Who?”
“Jack.”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t exactly reached out to me. I haven’t heard from him.”
“He’s been hurt, really hurt. And I understand why he’s probably hesitant and unsure of everything just based on how you guys met and our situation, but he obviously likes you. Please come, Isabella. Please?”
“… I guess so, if you really want me to.”
“I really do. I think it will be something good, you know?”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure. I’ll text you the details later?”
“Sounds good,” I said.
“Well, I better go. I’ll speak to you later. Bye, Isabella.”
“Bye, Lucas.”
I sat on the bed staring at the phone. Everything Lucas had told me had given me an insight into Jack that I hadn’t had before. How horrific everything must have been. He’d been so in love. He was going to marry this woman, and she’d completely and utterly betrayed him in so many different ways. I understood why he found it hard to open up to another woman. I understood why he was hesitant to get into another relationship, but I wasn’t like that, and I wished he could see that.
I wished he could see that I was trustworthy, that I didn’t care about his money or his fame or the fact that he used to be a football star. I was a genuinely good person, and I really liked him. I’d even go so far as to say that I was falling for him. When I saw him, my heart beat faster, and I felt something that I’d never felt before in my life, but I didn’t even know if he’d believe me.
But I’d go to that lunch, and I’d see him, and hopefully, he’d give me a sign showing me that some part of him did like me, some part of him was willing to give me a chance, some part of him was willing to open up to me because if he couldn’t open up to me, there was nothing that could be done. There would be no chance for a relationship between us, and maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t want anything different.
I could only hope that a part of him felt something when he was with me as well.
Chapter Twenty-Six
My small leather portfolio felt like it weighed a million pounds as I carried it down the busy streets of the city. Neurotic thoughts rambled through my head as I tried to avoid eye contact with the other people walking down the street. The portfolio held three pieces of art. Two for Edith and Edward as an apology for my role in Lucas’s deception, and the final, most special piece for Jack.
I’d stayed up all night painting it. An abstract gouache piece of the skyscrapers in the city with a line of taxis and cars speeding through the street. I was nervous he wouldn’t like it. Apprehensive that he’d think it was the work of an amateur. I knew that art was subjective, and that was okay. But this was a special piece. It was my most favorite piece I’d created in the last two years, and I was scared he wasn’t going to like it.
I was nervous for other reasons, of course. Now that I knew more about his backstory, I understood why he held back. At least I felt like I did, couch psychologist that I was, dissecting and trying to understand all the layers that made Jack up, without him having divulged a single bit of his past to me.
I arrived at the address and was surprised when Edith opened the door.
“Hello, Isabella, darling. It’s so good to see you.” She gave me a big hug.
“You, too, Edith,” I said, hugging her back.
“You look surprised, dear. Did you not expect to see me here?”
“No, no. That’s not it. I’m just surprised that someone else didn’t open the door.”
“Oh?” And then she nodded. “Oh, you mean like a housekeeper or something?”
“Yeah. I mean you had the butler and the housekeeper and all the other stuff in Greenwich. I just assumed that you’d have them here.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “I like to have my privacy as well, and it’s hard to do that when you have servants. Come inside. Lucas isn’t here yet, but Jack and Max are in the back having a chat.”
“Oh? Really?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I hadn’t known Max was going to be there as well. I didn’t really want to see him, but I didn’t want to be rude. I hope Jack wasn’t going to assume anything by my showing up. I’d wanted to see him, of course, but maybe he’d think I’d come for Max? I sure hoped not.
“I have something for you and Edward,” I said, opening up my portfolio and pulling out the first two pictures. “I painted them for you. I hope you like them.”
“Why, thank you, dear. These are beautiful. They’re of the house and the yard. I didn’t see you paint them when you were there.”
“I didn’t,” I said. “I painted them from memory.”
“Well, you have a very wonderful memory, indeed.”
“Well, helped a little bit by Google. I knew your address so I looked on Google Maps for some additional photos.”
“I’m impressed. Thank you. This was very sweet of you.”
“You’re welcome. I hope you like them.”
“I love them, my dear. I absolutely love them. Now, come on. I’ll get you a drink and then you can go and say hello to Jack and Max.”
“Sounds great,” I said. “Thank you.”
She handed me a Pimm’s with lemonade, something she told me was very British, and then I walked through to the back of the house. Of course, it was at a gorgeous apartment, stately and opulent, but understated. It looked Parisian chic. I’d never been to Paris, but I assumed rich people in France would have living rooms like this with long, wide cream couches with wooden legs and a marble table in the center of the room with little gold statues on it. Of course, the walls were filled with huge abstract art. The overall e
ffect was just beautiful.
“Hi,” I said, as we walked into the room and I saw Jack and Max. Max’s eyes lit up as he saw me, and Jack—well, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He smiled, but there was something in the way he was looking at me that made me wonder if I shouldn’t have come.
“Isabella, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Max walked over to me and gave me a quick hug.
“Hi. I didn’t know you were going to be there, either,” I said quite loudly so that Jack could hear me. “Hi, Jack,” I said walking over to him.
“Hey, Isabella.” He looked down at me and there was a warmth in his eyes that made me feel like a million dollars. “I heard that you might be here today.”
“Oh, you did?”
“Uh-huh.” He nodded. “Lucas told me. I’m glad you could make it.”
“Me, too,” I said. If only he knew how badly I’d wanted to see him. How I’d dreamed about his touch. How he was constantly in my thoughts. I loved being around him. I felt like I could be completely happy in life as long as he was a part of my world. That was so sad, but so true.
“So, Isabella.” Max walked over and joined the conversation again, and I withheld a sigh. Couldn’t he just leave me alone for two seconds?
“Hey, Max.”
“Remember we were talking the other night about possibly going to Vegas?”
“Um, sure,” I said, wanting to die inside. He made it sound much more intimate, as opposed to a late-night text where he’d asked if I liked gambling and I responded, “Sometimes.” He then said something like, “Maybe we should go to Vegas sometime,” and I said, “Oh, sounds like it would be fun.” Not that I really wanted to go with him.
I wasn’t sure what Jack was thinking as he stared at the two of us.
“I was checking on flights and it looks like they have some really great deals to stay at the Bellagio,” Max continued. “When do you want go? Next weekend or do you need a bit more time?”
“Well, I don’t know that I actually can go right now, but—”
“Hey, Max.” Jack interrupted smoothly.
“Ah, yes, boss?”
“Why don’t you go and send those faxes that I was telling you about? They are of the utmost importance.”
“Now?” Max frowned. “I thought I could send them later. I didn’t think they—”
“I want you to send them now.” Jack nodded. “I think there are some staples on the corner or something. Figure it out.”
“Um, okay.” Max looked at me and then at Jack and made a face. “I guess I’ll be back later?”
“Okay.” Jack shrugged and then turned to me as soon as Max had left the room. “So, you’re going to Vegas with Max? Really?”
“Um, is it really any of your business? I know you didn’t just send him to do work because of a trip that we may or may not be taking.”
“A trip that you may or may not be taking? Are you taking the trip or not taking the trip?” His voice rose.
“Why are you getting upset with me?”
“I’m not getting upset with you, but why is it every time I turn around you and Max are either drinking or going somewhere or about to do something.”
“That’s not even true. What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“What is ridiculous?”
My voice was rising now, and I could see Edith standing at the doorway, looking at us, a funny expression on her face.
“Jack, your grandma is watching us right now, and this is not a good look because I don’t think she knows yet that Lucas and I are not together. I don’t want her wondering why we’re arguing.”
“Come with me,” he said.
“Come with you where?”
“Just follow me. Nana, I’m just going to show Isabella the rest of the apartment, okay?”
“Sure thing, Jack.”
He walked past her and I followed behind him, giving Edith a quick small smile. We walked down a hallway and he opened the door and I followed him inside. He slammed the door behind me and locked it. We were in the bathroom.
“Um, what is going on here?” I asked him.
“Sorry. I’m just really in a bad mood today,” he said, shaking his head, turning his back to me. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I didn’t mean to take it out on Max. I’ll apologize to him when he gets back.”
“I don’t understand why you’re being like this. I haven’t even heard from you. I mean, I thought …”
“You thought that what?” He turned around and stared at me, grabbing me and pulling me into his arms. “What were you thinking, Isabella? Tell me.”
“I don’t know. I just thought that perhaps we could have had a conversation or, I don’t know, gone on a …” I paused. I didn’t want to say another date because I didn’t know if that’s what he wanted from me. “I just wish I could understand where you’re coming from. I just wish …”
“You wish what, Isabella?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could figure you out a bit more.”
“What do you want to figure out? What do you want to know? Do you want to know that I like you? Do you want to know that I think I’m falling for you? Do you want to know that my head has been turned upside down since I’ve met you, and I don’t know which way is up, and I’m conflicted and confused?”
My heart raced at his words. “Why are you conflicted, and why are you confused?”
“Because I promised myself that I would never fall in love again. I promised myself that I would never be so head over heels for a woman that I couldn’t think straight. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I’ve already made in life.”
“But liking me is not a mistake, Jack. At least I hope it’s not a mistake. I like you, too.” I pressed my hand against his chest. “I really like you, and I’ve been thinking about you as well. And you have to know there’s nothing between me and Max.”
“I know,” he growled. “I know there’s nothing between you and Max. Max was just telling me that he hasn’t even seen you. It just annoys me that he thinks he can ask you to Vegas and that there might even be a chance. He shouldn’t even be able to do that.”
“What do you mean he shouldn’t be able to do that?”
“He should know that you’re off-limits to him. He should know he has no chance.”
“But why would he know that?”
“Because you’re mine. You should be mine.”
He kissed me hard then and I melted against him, kissing him back, loving the possessiveness of his words and the way that he made me feel. I blinked up at him as he slowly withdrew from me.
“Sorry. I had no right to do that. I’m just out of my mind right now.”
“It’s okay, Jack. I like you, too, and we can go on a date. We can see if we have something. I mean, I’m open to that, if you are.”
“I don’t know if I’m open to it.” He shook his head. “I just don’t know.”
“I see.” I looked down at the ground. I wasn’t going to keep fighting for this. I wasn’t going to keep fighting for a man that just didn’t want me.
“I had my heart broken once,” he said his voice cracking, almost imperceptibly, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted me to hear.
“Oh?” I said, bringing my eyes up to look at him again, praying that he would open up to me, praying that I wouldn’t have to pry it out of him. It wasn’t the same if I had to make him talk to me. He had to be open and honest with me himself. He had to feel like he could trust me.
“She was my college girlfriend,” he said, his voice cracking. “I thought she was the world at the time. I thought we’d get married and have kids. I thought I’d have what Edith and Edward have, you know?”
“They have something special,” I whispered. “They really do.”
“But she wasn’t the one. She was not my Edith.” He shook his head.
“She hurt you?” I didn’t want
to tell him that Lucas had already told me the story. Somehow, I wasn’t sure he’d appreciate that.
“Typical bad girlfriend behavior.” He nodded. “She cheated on me. She got pregnant by my teammate.” He shrugged. “She tried to blackmail me. She tried to bilk me out of millions of dollars. You know how it goes.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Happens to me all the time.”
He smiled reluctantly at me. “You’re funny.”
“Do you still love her?” I asked because that was the most important question to me. Had he gotten over her, or was there still a part of him that wished that hadn’t had happened?
“No.” He shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t know if I ever really loved her.”
“You’re just saying that because she hurt you.”
“No,” he said. “I was young and I was dumb and I was cocky. The signs were there from the beginning. She was actually dating a teammate of mine at Duke and I stole her from him, so what’s that saying? What goes around, comes around, right?”
“You still didn’t deserve to have that happen to you.”
“I know,” he said. “She broke a piece of me, you know? She broke my heart, and she threw away a piece. She didn’t keep a piece because I don’t have anything for her. I don’t care about her, but she broke me in a way that makes it hard for me to trust women. Everything that I went through with her, everything that I …” He sighed. “But I don’t want to carry that with me anymore, and I’ve never felt that I was ready to grab a hold of that piece of my heart again until I met you.” He reached out and stroked my face. “There’s something about you, a light, an energy, a beauty that just radiates from your soul, and I think it scares me in a way because you’re so pure.”
“I’m not pure.” I laughed. “You should know that I’m not pure. I slept with you on our first date, and our first date didn’t even go well.”
“It’s got nothing to do with sex, Isabella. There’s a light in your eyes when you talk to me, when you talk to my grandmother, when you talk to Lucas. You’re kind, you’re sweet, you’re caring. You’ve got a wicked sense of humor, and you can banter with me like the best of them. You’re not afraid of me. And you’re honest, and you care, and I think I’m just scared that …” He bit his lip and shook his head, muttering something under his breath.