by Robin M Helm
Xander went into the kitchen and got out the chicken salad he had bought and stored in the refrigerator the day before. He put plates, glasses, napkins, and utensils on the bar along with the salad, fruit, croissants, and tea. Elizabeth came back and sat on a stool as he filled their glasses with ice and poured the tea.
“Wow! I’m impressed. A girl could get used to being pampered like this. Watch out, Xander, or you will spoil me,” she said, smiling at him.
“Elizabeth, I would love to have the privilege of spoiling you for the rest of your life. I have never made any secret of that.” He kissed her cheek and took her hand, saying grace before they ate.
When they were finished, he bagged the trash to take with them on the trip home and washed the few dishes, allowing her to dry them and replace them in the cabinets. Then he reached for her hand again and led her out the back door and down the ATV trail. The weather was perfect, in the 70’s, and the day seemed to be made for outdoor activities. Elizabeth hummed happily as they walked hand-in-hand.
Michael and Gabriel flew above them, trying unsuccessfully to scan the area for enemies. Michael grumbled, He could not have chosen a worse place to defend if he had tried. An entire phalanx could be hiding in those trees.
He was thinking of the beauty and romance of the area – not of having a tactical advantage in a battle, replied Gabriel.
The trail ended in a clearing with a spectacular view of the bridge. Elizabeth gasped audibly when she saw it, and she turned to Xander.
“This is such an amazing place, Xander! How did you find it?” she asked.
“Do you remember Howard Mills?” She nodded. “This is his land and his lodge. He offered it to any of the SoulFire team who wanted to use it, and I took him up on his offer. Do you like the bridge?” Xander searched her face for her approval.
“I love it. Can we walk over it? Is it safe?” she queried.
“Yes, it is safe. I examined it thoroughly this past week. Does the height frighten you?”
They walked toward the bridge as she answered with a laugh. “No, I have no fear of high places. Besides, I know that there is no danger if you approve of it. You are always overly cautious when I am concerned.”
He led her by her hand to the bridge’s entrance, and they began to walk slowly to the center, adjusting to the sense of the slightly swaying movement. Gabriel and Michael hovered above them.
Elizabeth let go of his hand to grasp the thick rope handrails and steady herself, looking out at the mountains, and then down the steep drop to the water flowing over the rocks below her.
“Elizabeth,” Xander said from behind her, in a voice just above a whisper. She turned to face him, looking up into his steady gaze.
He put his hands over hers on the rails and continued to speak, his voice a low melody. “I love you with all of my heart, body, and soul. Only God could love you more than I do. This is a beautiful place, but it can never be as beautiful to me as you are. The more I know you, the more I love you, and you are beyond precious to me. Every time I kiss you, it is just as if it were the first time. I feel that now familiar twist inside, and I want to make you my own. I brought you here to ask you something, Elizabeth, but before I do, there is something you must know – ”
As the words left his mouth Xander felt an odd sensation. He looked quickly behind him, and his heart sank as he watched the ropes which held the bridge in place begin to disintegrate, and then they disappeared completely. Michael and Gabriel saw the bridge start to waver and fall in the same instant. In desperation, Xander reached with one hand for Elizabeth as he grabbed the rope handrail with his other. However, she had already fallen beyond his reach, so he let go and fell with her. Gabriel and Michael remained with Xander and Elizabeth, but they could do nothing to stop Elizabeth from plummeting to the rocks in the stream at the bottom of the gorge. At that moment, a death angel tentatively approached, awaiting Xander’s decision.
Elizabeth screamed as she fell, clutching at the air, swimming in nothing. Her screams echoed back from the sheer rock faces on either side of them and seemed to go on forever. The options flew through Xander’s mind with fearsome speed, and he knew with deadly certainly that he had but one choice. Gabriel could not catch her and remain invisible without a plausible explanation, and neither could Michael reveal himself under these conditions.
Xander had realized that Gregory was somehow responsible for their predicament, but he did the only thing he could do, knowing all the while that he was doing exactly what Gregory had hoped that he would do. Gregory would win either way – whether Elizabeth died or Xander revealed himself, Gregory still would have achieved his goal. He would separate them and destroy their ministry together.
Xander morphed into visible angelic form and flew straight down, wings streamlined behind him, flying beneath Elizabeth. He caught her in his arms just before she reached the sharp rocks, hugged her to himself, and stretched his wings wide, using his powerful musculature to carry both of them back up to the clearing. He held her close and slowed a little, hoping that it would not be the last time she would allow his touch. As soon as he touched the ground he felt her fighting against him, and he released her, gently placing her on her feet.
Gabriel and Michael checked the fallen bridge and found that at least five feet of rope had simply disappeared.
Gregory must have been hiding close by, employing his dark arts, thought Michael.
Gabriel nodded his agreement.
The two of them, still invisible, flew to stand on either side of Xander.
She backed away from Xander, her eyes wide with fright as she looked at him gleaming in his golden armor and glowing with the light of God. He was so beautiful that it was surreal; she did not trust her eyes. He folded his wings, let his hands drop to his sides, and waited for her to calm. Xander could hear her mind reeling, going through the possibilities and remembering the things he had said. He is my Xander, and yet he is not. His chest clenched in pain as he heard her. He is no different from Richard. He has lied to me, over and over. Even when he was telling the truth, he was lying to me.
Xander reached out to touch her, and she jerked away as if he were a poisonous snake.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me! What are you?” she demanded as her fright turned to anger.
His voice was gentle and persuasive. “I am an angel. You have said it many times, and I have said it as well.”
“You knew that I did not believe that in a literal sense. You let me babble on and on, and told yourself that you were telling me the truth, all the while knowing that you were deceiving me.” The tears flowed down her cheeks and her chin quivered. Her lovely face contorted in agony.
He stepped toward her. “Elizabeth, I was going to tell you. I was saying the words when we fell. I had to take this form to save your life. Please do not back away from me.”
She stood still, considering his words.
The roar of an engine broke the silence, and Cassandra drove from the trees in a Jeep Liberty. She was in human form, as was Gregory who sat in the front passenger seat. They stopped behind Elizabeth, and Gregory hopped out, going around and standing beside her. Cassandra remained in the Jeep with the motor running.
Michael bristled, placing his hand over his sword as Gabriel fixed Gregory with an unblinking stare.
“He still hasn’t told you all of it, Elizabeth. He still holds back the full truth from you.” Gregory sneered at Xander and ignored the archangels.
Elizabeth did not trust Gregory, but in that moment, she knew he spoke the truth. Her expression hardened as she faced Xander.
“What does he mean, Xander? What else is there?” she demanded.
Xander was quiet, knowing that anything he said would make the situation worse. His mouth was set in a tight line as he waited for Gregory to speak the words that would ruin his life.
“He is your guardian angel, Elizabeth. He was present at your conception, and has watched you all of your life. Xander
has known all of your most private moments since you were born. Isn’t that true, Xander?” asked Gregory, looking at him in challenge.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in shock as she thought of Gregory’s words. She knew by Xander’s silence that what Gregory said was true because he did not deny it. “How could you do that, Xander? How could you watch me bathe, and see me with Richard, and know everything about me, but not tell me? That isn’t love. I am a fool.” She covered her face and wept into her hands.
“And what of you, Gregory? Will you tell her what you are?” spat Xander.
“You have already told her that Cassandra and I are evil and beyond redemption. You have poisoned her mind against me. What else is there I can say? She will have to choose whom she can trust, Xander. I have never lied to her,” said Gregory with confidence. He put his arm around Elizabeth and drew her to his chest, rubbing her back.
“Do not touch her, halfling,” Xander said in a menacing voice.
Elizabeth looked back at him, eyes blazing. “You have no right to decide who can touch me. We are finished. I can’t trust you anymore.”
“Elizabeth, let me explain. Please. You would understand if you would let me talk to you,” he pleaded with her, imploring her with his eyes.
She turned to face him. “You probably could talk me into believing anything you wanted me to believe, Xander – if that is even your real name. I don’t want to talk to you. Don’t call me, and don’t come to my house. If I ever want to talk to you again, I’ll call you, but don’t hold your breath.” She laughed a little hysterically, “If you even have to breathe.” She threw her hands up in the air and lowered her head in a gesture of finality. “I don’t want to love you or anyone else. I wish you had let me die. Stay away from me.”
Xander knew that she meant it, and he felt a knife twist in his heart. He bore the full crushing weight of her rejection.
“At least let me take you home, Elizabeth. Or you can take my car if you want.” Just please do not go with Gregory.
She laughed bitterly. “Obviously, you don’t need a car. You can just fly wherever you want to go, can’t you?”
Gregory touched her arm. “El, let Cassandra and me take you home.” His voice was friendly, non-threatening.
“Gregory, what are you doing here anyway? How did you know we would be here?” asked Xander desperately, trying to get Elizabeth to think rationally.
Elizabeth looked at Gregory expectantly.
“I saw the birth announcement for her nephew in last week’s paper, and I texted El to congratulate her. We chatted, and I asked her if I could see her today. She replied that she was going to be with you. I had a good idea that you would ask her to marry you today, and I wanted to be certain that she knew what you were before she accepted you, so I watched you this week, Xander. I followed you up here several times, and I knew that you would bring her here today. Cassandra and I have been waiting for you all morning. El has been my friend for a long time, and I wanted to protect her.” His eyes were sincere; he was a practiced liar.
I did not mention the texts because there was nothing unusual or suspicious in them. He sends her messages from time to time, and she always answers him, thought Michael. I am sorry.
Gregory set up everything ahead of time. He was expecting my question, and he was prepared for it. Xander’s thoughts were chagrined. He had walked right into another trap set by Gregory.
No guards with him. He is being careful not to provoke a fight. He has put much thought into this, added Gabriel.
“Do you believe me, El? Will you let us take you home now?” Gregory asked, looking into her eyes.
She nodded and turned to walk to the Jeep with him.
Xander grabbed her arm. “Please, Elizabeth. Do not go with him. Let me call you a taxi, or take my car. You are not safe with them.” He did not tell her what Gregory and Cassandra really were because he was unsure how much more she could stand to know at that moment, and, furthermore, he doubted that she would believe him under the circumstances.
Michael spoke into her mind, Do not go with them.
“You, get your hand off of my arm, and, you, whoever you are, stay out of my head,” she said with quiet determination, jerking her arm away from his touch.
“Elizabeth, listen to God. Pray about this. What is He telling your heart?” Xander tried to reach her one last time.
“God? I don’t know what I believe anymore, and I don’t want to pray. Leave me alone.” Her voice was deadly calm, devoid of emotion, and her words dropped like stones.
She walked to the Jeep with Gregory and climbed into the backseat as he got into the front. Cassandra began to drive the trail toward the highway, and none of them looked back.
Xander took invisible form, and he, Michael, and Gabriel flew above the speeding vehicle. There was nothing they could do as long as Elizabeth went with them willingly, and Gregory knew it. Xander could only pray that she would ask for help when she needed it.
Chapter 21
All day long they distort my words; all their thoughts are against me for evil. They attack, they lurk, they watch my steps, as they have waited to take my life. Thou hast taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Thy bottle; are they not in Thy book? For Thou hast delivered my soul from death, indeed my feet from stumbling, so that I may walk before God in the light of the living.”
Psalm 56:5,6,8,13
August 2008
Xander dropped from flying above the Jeep Liberty and lay in abject misery on the top of the vehicle as it turned onto the highway, pulling his wings closely against his body and winding his fingers through the metal attachments on the roof. He was as near as he could get to Elizabeth, who was lying in the backseat sobbing quietly. Each of her tears stabbed his heart and her every gasp for breath pierced his soul. He heard her thoughts, crying for her lost love, weeping at his betrayal, and the pain of it was nearly more than he could bear. The only thing that kept him sane was the knowledge that he had to be ready to defend her, for he was certain that she would need him soon, though she would not want him. She will never want me again.
In that moment, he hated what he was. He envied the people coming toward them in the other lane of traffic; he wanted to be like them – normal, mortal, and human with no trace of supernatural abilities. What good is it to have these powers if Elizabeth does not love me anymore? My spirit is ripped in two. I have nothing. With that thought, he decided that he would protect her even if she did not want it, whether or not she asked for it. If he could not be with her, he could at least make certain that she was safe.
Michael spoke to Xander, not unkindly. You cannot intervene if she does not ask for help, Xander. You must be Xander, the Chief of the Guardians. You must obey the regulations which our Creator has set for us. We act within His limitations on our power.
Why should I adhere to the rules when Gregory never has? Xander snapped.
Gabriel’s reply was gentle. Because you are not like Gregory, and you must not become like him. He has won this skirmish, but we will win both the battle and the war. Do not let him destroy you. Do not give him what he desires. We will help you, our brother and friend. We will be with Elizabeth and you.
Xander could hold it in no longer. His pain burst from his mind. There is no Elizabeth and me. She does not love me anymore! She no longer wants me! His screams tore through the heavens and resounded through the halls. The raw agony of his cry was felt by every angel, and they trembled for their brother, covering their faces with their wings.
A comforting Voice carried on the breeze and whispered through the trees. Xander, My son, Elizabeth cries because she loves you. She has not stopped loving you, but she has lost her way at this time. She will soon require your strength and courage for the battle ahead. You must not give in to despair. She has also turned from Me, but I know her. She is My child, as surely as you are. She will desire the relationships with both you and Me again. You must keep her safe until the scales of Gregory’s deceit fall f
rom her eyes. I want you to go with her for Me. Will you do that, Xander? Will you go for Me?
Xander lifted his tear-stained face at the sound of the Voice that he knew so well. My Abba, Father. Here am I. Send me, Lord.
Will you obey Me? Can I trust you to follow My commands? The question was quiet and solemn.
Please forgive me, my Adonai. You are so good to me, even when I am rebellious. I love you, Lord. I will obey You, even unto death. Xander’s voice was constrained and apologetic.
I am pleased, My child. I love you more than you can comprehend, and I will always love you. Nothing shall ever separate you from My love. Do not give up hope. I have not stopped working in your life nor in Elizabeth’s. I have counted your tears and saved them in My bottle. I have heard your cries. You are so precious to Me. The Voice wrapped Xander in comfort like a blanket. It soothed and refreshed him; the Voice gave him strength and direction.
Let it be according to Your will. Xander rejoined his brothers, flying just above the Jeep. He would no longer wallow in self-pity and grief, and he set his face forward with a steely glint in his eyes.
I must go back for the car, thought Xander.
What? Why do you want the car? asked Michael, unwilling to leave Xander alone.
We do not know where Gregory is taking her. If she allows us to help her, she will need a way of escape when the battle is over. We will not have time to call any of her family to come, and I doubt that she will agree to go with me. We have not come very far yet. I can fly back, retrieve the car, and rejoin you within half an hour, Xander answered.
I will go, offered Gabriel. You want to stay with Elizabeth.
Can you drive? asked Xander skeptically.
I have never done so before, but I have watched you many times, answered Gabriel.
I appreciate your willingness, Gabriel, but this is not a good time to learn the skill. I will be back very soon. Anyway, I think she will feel better if she sees me in human form. Michael, your telepathy is not limited by distance. You must stay in contact with me in case he turns off this road. I think he is taking her to his house in Spartanburg, but I cannot be certain of that.