by A. M. Geever
A glass hit the floor, the dull thud sounding like a gunshot in the quiet. They both jumped, and Miranda was on her feet before she knew it, looking around to see what the hell was going on. But it was only a glass, not a threat, and the absurdity of being so startled hit her hard. For a second, they looked at one another, then she covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. Alec doubled over, elbows on his knees, snorts of suppressed laughter squeaking into the room.
He stood, his eyes flashing, still shaking with mirth, and pulled her to him. His lips found hers, laughter still welling up between them. He pushed her shirt up, the friction of the tee shirt against her hardened nipples causing her to shiver. He pulled the shirt free of her head, and for a moment, he simply looked at her, devouring her body with his eyes. Then he dipped his head, his lips caressing the swell of her breasts before his tongue flicked over her nipples. She moaned low in her throat, her body quaking, the feel of his lips and tongue and hands drenching her touch-starved body like a storm after a long, dusty drought.
She undid his belt, the crack of the leather snapping out of the buckle fairly making her swoon. He kicked his pants free. She closed her hand around his cock, his groan in her ear setting every nerve in her body alight. She released him to push her stretchy yoga pants down to puddle around her ankles. His hand reached for the love seat behind him, fumbling for a moment before he found the recline button. She pressed against him, her bare skin against his, the heat of his erection pulsing between them. Then the rising footrest nudged their ankles, and they tumbled down.
Miranda grinned up at him, running her hands and lips and tongue over his body, his musky scent filling her nose. She climbed astride him, pushing him back, wanting to feel him inside her now—no more foreplay, no more delays. She took him in her hand and guided him inside, impaling her soft wetness on him. He groaned, squeezing the orbs of her breasts in his hands. He pulled her down to claim her mouth as they moved together, the upward scoop of his hips meeting the downward grind of hers.
She reared up, arching her back, rocking against him and curling her neck as he levered up to kiss it. She caught a flash of movement through the open door. Her eyes snapped over the row of upright seats behind them, raking over the darkened dining area, but it was only the flicker of the nighttime track lighting in the far lounge.
It could have been Kendall, a distant part of her brain thought as her body moved with Alec’s, the heat and urgent need enveloping them getting thicker, stronger, swirling between and around them like soft, sticky taffy. If Kendall saw them fucking, if he saw her—white-hot from Alec’s touch, hunger consuming her, pleasure that magnified every passing second rippling through her body—it would be a disaster.
She lowered her eyes to Alec’s face, to his rakish smile and eyes that flashed with his desire, and couldn’t stop. She needed this. She wanted this. She wanted Alec. She wanted to sate this hunger, even though she already knew that wasn’t what would happen. It would only sharpen, gnawing in her belly until she satisfied it again. She wanted that, too. Wanted to be consumed by desire for someone else—someone who didn’t know her past, who wasn’t part of the loss and anger that still plagued her. She wanted to fuck Alec and know it would be without demands or baggage or expectations.
She didn’t want Kendall—she never would. Even if she was in a position to do the right thing, even if she discouraged him, she couldn’t control his romantic desires any more than she could control the zombies and blight that had wiped out their food. The only thing she could control was herself, and her actions. If wanting Alec was more than Kendall could deal with, she would deal with that reckoning when it came. The consequences of being discovered now were lost in a haze of lust that she couldn’t, and didn’t want, to control.
Alec’s hands gripped her waist as he moved beneath her, his fingers digging into the thin layer of flesh that cushioned her hip bones. They moved up to her breasts. His hands kneaded them gently, thumbs circling her pebbled nipples and triggering a shiver that started at the base of her skull. It zipped down her spine, each vertebra rippling in its wake until her hips rocked side to side. The wave-like motion rippled back up through her body, twisting through her shoulders and ending in a languid forward roll of her head.
His laugh was low and smooth, like the Scotch they’d been drinking. “You’re so hot and bothered you’re smoking.”
He drew her closer, like a moth to a flame. Heat filled her body where he touched her and where he didn’t. She could feel it pulsing out from her center, flushing her face and chest, casting a dewy sheen on her skin. He pushed up on an elbow, reaching for her. Her hand clasped his, their fingers interlacing. She pulled them into her mouth. But instead of just letting her suck, he surprised her by exploring her mouth. She relaxed her jaw, the erotic thrill of his fingers moving over her tongue before sliding beneath it surprising her. His thumb glided along her teeth, catching and dragging her lower lip inside out, before he trailed it over her chin and down her neck.
He took her hand again, guiding it down between them to where their bodies were joined. Gently, he manipulated her fingers over her clit, then said, “Let me watch you.”
She was yanked out of the moment, away from the heat and the feel of Alec’s body against hers, the hardness of his cock, and the cascade of pleasure where he moved inside and against her. No one had ever done anything like that except Mario. And suddenly, he was here, between them while they fucked on the reclined love seat. She closed her eyes to banish him as she moved her fingers over her swollen clit, groaning as the lush heat burned higher and hotter. But Mario was here, too, wrapping her in a fog of sweet intimacy as they melted into one another on the edge of the bed at the Institute, her arm and wrist cradled around the gentle swell of their baby between them while she stroked herself until she came, falling into the deep of his dark, knowing eyes.
No, she thought, snapping her eyes open. He wasn’t here. She wouldn’t let him pull her away from what she was doing, and from the man beneath her she was doing it with. She wanted to be here. She wanted to look into Alec’s eyes, into the same heathered hazel color of Scottish moors. She wanted the low burr of the Highlands to caress her ears, to feel the slick leather of the sofa beneath her knees and shins. She pulled herself up straighter, spread her knees wider, so that Alec could better see her slippery fingers. So he could see how she fed the roaring fire he had kindled. She looked into those hazel depths, bright with hunger and lust and anticipation, but without expectation, completely in the here and now.
“There’s my bonny lass,” he said, satisfaction filling his voice, curling around her like a caress.
His eyes lowered to watch her fingers. A laugh chuffed in his throat when she couldn’t hold back the whimpers escaping her lips while she touched herself, while she masturbated for him as he moved inside her. Mario hadn’t watched, not like this. He hadn’t watched how she carried out the work of pleasuring herself, but Alec did.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt in control. She felt like she could stop herself from careening off the cliff’s edge that her life had become. She had balanced on it for such a long time. But now, with their bodies connected while he moved inside her, with her, exploring the swells and hollows of her body with his, while she touched herself to please them both, she could feel herself stepping back. She could feel herself choosing to leave it behind, to find safer ground, to live in this moment, rather than miring herself in the past.
She tangled the fingers of her other hand in the dark line of hair that began beneath his belly button, his flexing abs grounding her, tethering her to his body, to here and now and this. She kept her hazed eyes open, locking them with his when he wasn’t watching her, wanting to understand the fascination that filled his face when he watched her do as he’d bid, her arousal growing and blooming under his watchful study of her. She locked her eyes with his, hoping to catch a glimpse of what he saw when he
smiled at her with that sly, roguish grin that made her insides fizz.
When she felt herself tipping and falling, hurtling into the orgasm consuming her shuddering body, her eyes never strayed from Alec’s. When he followed soon after, his dry fingers interlaced with her damp ones, the lilt of the Highlands stronger than before as he laughed softly, telling her again what a bonny lass she was, Mario wasn’t even an echo of a memory. He’d been gone for a long, long time.
18
“Alec knows I want to talk about when to head home, or did I imagine that conversation?”
Rich’s voice brimmed with annoyance. They were going outside with Kendall in half an hour.
“Maybe he went to get some breakfast,” Phineas said. “I’ll go see.”
“No,” said Rich. “Then we’ll be looking for both of you.”
Miranda didn’t say anything, just sipped her tea and put her feet up on the coffee table. Alec was either already on his way here, or still in the nearby residence dome where they’d slept the last four nights. If she had to, she’d go get him, but she preferred to wait and see. They’d been alternating who returned to the shared dome first, and she’d done her part by waking him when she got up to get ready for their outing today. She smiled faintly, thinking about how Alec had done his part in delaying her departure, which put him behind schedule, too. Being this late was sloppy, but damn…it had been worth it.
Maybe he’d fallen back asleep, because thinking of it as where they’d slept was probably overstating things. As she’d suspected, Alec rocked in the sack. Actual sleeping the past few nights had come in a very distant second. But when she had slept, it was better than in months, since before—
She pushed the thought away, not wanting an intrusion on her endorphin-drenched state, but a glimmer of anger managed to wisp through her brain anyway. She couldn’t even fuck how angry she was with Mario into submission. Maybe she should talk to River, or maybe even Rocco. When he wasn’t busting her balls, Rocco was a surprisingly good listener. He had a way of looking at things from different perspectives that she’d never have considered on her own. Most of the time they were even helpful.
Delilah woofed, and a moment later the door opened. The man of the hour stepped through, a cup of coffee in his hand, looking decidedly rumpled.
“Sorry I’m late, Rich,” he said, flashing an apologetic smile. “I fell asleep in the library.”
Christ, that’s a terrible lie, she thought.
“I didn’t see you in the library this morning,” Phineas said.
Alec shrugged. “I can’t account for your eyesight, lad.”
At least he knew enough not dig himself into a deeper hole, but they had to come up with a better way of doing this.
“We’re all here now,” Rich said, waving Alec and Phineas over to the sitting area.
Rich’s ability to let go and move on was one of the many things Miranda liked about him. Over the last couple months, she often wished she could do the same—just let it all go. Rich was easygoing until he wasn’t, and she’d never seen him put his foot down when it wasn’t warranted. He wasn’t petty or a control freak, either. She couldn’t always say the same for herself on that second count…and sometimes the first. He’d told her once, ‘After the dust settled when all this started, I decided I’d rather be happy than right if I lived long enough. Unless it involved some fool trying to get me killed.’
“It’s Halloween in eleven days, and I told my kids I’d be back to go trick-or-treating with them. So I’m thinking we should fix to head back in a week. It’ll be almost a month we’ve been here by then.” Rich’s shoulders twitched, like he was suppressing a shiver. “I don’t know about you all, but this place makes me claustrophobic.”
“Me too,” Phineas said.
“We need to tell him right away. As soon as we get back from today’s outing,” she said. “Give him time to mentally prepare and think about coming with us.”
“You think?” Phineas asked her. “He’s done okay so far, but being outside near the bunker isn’t the same as really being out there.”
Miranda shrugged as she sipped her tea, then said, “We’ve all had to deal with the fear, especially when all this started. He’s got the advantage of having us.”
“I think Miranda’s right,” Rich said. “You’re staying behind today, right, Phineas?”
“Yeah,” he said, still grinning. “I’ll see you guys at the airlock. I want to grab a snack before you go out.”
“Mercy, that kid can eat,” Rich said as Phineas disappeared from their dome. “And there’s not an ounce of fat on him. I wish I still had a metabolism like that.”
“I’ll be kitted up in five minutes,” Alec said, rising.
Rich said, “Yeah… About that.”
Oh no, Miranda thought, seeing the uncomfortable but resolved look on Rich’s face that made her stomach sink. She and Alec traded a glance.
Rich continued, the discomfort morphing to the beginnings of a shit-eating grin. “I don’t care what you two are doing, but do it here, okay? You’ve got connecting rooms, for Christ’s sake. What if Kendall were to see you skulking around like teenagers sneaking home at night?”
Her face was on fire, she was blushing so hard. Alec looked genuinely surprised that they’d been caught out. The teenager analogy was apt; this felt exactly the same as when she’d been busted by her parents. Rich hardly ever swore and had just dropped a ‘for Christ’s sake.’ It didn’t matter that she was almost thirty-one; the floor couldn’t open up and swallow Miranda fast enough.
“Rich, I… We were trying to be—”
Rich interrupted her, saving her from making an even bigger fool of herself. “Everyone’s shy when things are new. I get it,” he said. A wicked, teasing gleam filled his eyes. “I trust you two can keep it down enough that you don’t wake the rest of us?”
“She can be pretty loud,” Alec muttered.
Miranda rounded on him, incredulous, then snapped, “Go get dressed!”
“Sorry, lass,” he said quickly. “I didn’t…”
He wilted under her withering stare. Looking chastened, he beat a hasty retreat to his room.
Miranda looked at the floor a second, sucking on her teeth. Rich was right, of course he was right. Using another place had seemed like a good idea, until now. Kendall’s hours were erratic, and he never entered their dome without knocking. Spending the night together anywhere else was just foolish, even though they’d been careful.
“Well,” she finally said. “This is pretty mortifying.”
Rich chuckled and motioned for her to walk with him to the door. “Like I said, Miranda… I don’t care. Y’all are adults. Just don’t be stupid about it, seeing as how Kendall’s nursing a crush.”
She stopped, then said, “I’m not doing it anymore, Rich.” She hadn’t been aware of deciding anything, but as she spoke, she realized she had. When Rich’s eyebrows knitted together in a surprise, she said, “Not Alec—Kendall. I’m not going to ignore or encourage his crush. It’s wrong, and it makes me feel like a complete dirtbag. He either helps us because we ask him, or we take what we need. If we end up stealing his shit, I’d like to do it in the least sleazy way possible.”
“I don’t think it’s possible to just take his extra food without being sleazy, but I understand. However you want to do it is fine, Miranda. If he won’t help us and you have one less crappy feeling about all this, that’s a win. Sort of.”
Across the dome, the door to Alec’s room opened.
“I’ll visit his apartment again after dinner, like we discussed,” she said. “If one of you guys can pull him away and I can wait for him in his place, I could search for a door to another storeroom.”
“We’ll try that in the next day or two,” Rich agreed. He opened the door and stepped into the main corridor.
Miranda held the door, waiting for Alec to reach her. “Loud?”
Alec looked abashed. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud, Mirand
a. I really am sorry.” He stopped, then said, “How long will I be on the shit list?”
She motioned him through the door. “I don’t know,” she said mildly. “It probably depends on how loud you can make me.”
This time, before they left, Kendall programmed temporary security codes for the bunker and shared them. He trusted them enough to make a temporary change… This was a huge step in the right direction. The codes were only good for two hours, but baby steps. Kendall being Kendall, the blast doors, and the inner and outer hatches of the airlock, each had a unique code. They were only going out for ninety minutes at the most, so they had plenty of time to get back. Miranda had pulled out a pen and written the codes on the inside of her forearm. Phineas could open any of the doors from inside. They had prevailed upon Kendall to enable that functionality so that whoever had stayed behind wouldn’t be trapped if, God forbid, they failed to return.
As they walked they’d pointed out what was special about the topography, and talked through scenario after scenario with Kendall, choosing where the zombie was, how many, what weapons he had, and what he could or should do. Ever a dutiful student, Kendall always gave the first three default answers in order—don’t panic, listen to see if you can hear more of them, avoid if you can—before carefully but quickly weighing his options. He was doing pretty well theoretically and had only once made what would be a one hundred percent fatal error, in Miranda’s opinion. How he’d do in real life was anyone’s guess.
Miranda wiped her knife on the leafy litter of the forest floor next to the zombie she’d just killed, then slipped it into its sheath. She’d been able to dispatch it with minimal moaning, which was the only reason they even bothered. It had been a bit of a pain in the ass to kill. Twice it had actually bumped into her before shying away. Coupled with the uneven ground, it threw off her timing. Then it had lunged again.