by Dawn Edwards
‘Hey,’ she said with a big smile on her face, giving me a tight hug when she walked up to Drew and me.
‘I’m so happy to see you.’ I hugged her back.
‘Vultures out in full force tonight?’ she asked me, knowing too well what I was going through, as she often experienced the same thing; her father owned the biggest law firm in Boston.
‘You know it,’ I replied.
Amber turned to Drew and smiled up at him. ‘Hey, Drew.’
‘Hiya,’ he replied. ‘Nice to see you.’
I looked around. ‘Amber, you here alone?’
She took a big breath. ‘Yes, single and ready to mingle.’ She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, then went on to tell me about her breakup with her boyfriend. She had had enough, and gossip be damned. I couldn’t help but sense the advice she was giving me.
Her ex-boyfriend was the type of guy that her family thought she should be with. He was at Harvard Law and the son of a well-connected political consultant. They had dated for about two years, but he was dreadfully boring. Even I thought he was as exciting as watching paint dry, and that was saying something as I loved solitude. He was terrible to have a conversation with as he didn’t have his own opinions, conversations with him felt rehearsed and he kept to safe topics.
Amber hung out with Drew and me most of the night, helping me fend off job solicitations and questions about Matt. I was telling people that ‘Matt’s got business out of town this weekend, unfortunately, meeting with clients,’ to the few people who would ask.
Drew leaned in and told me, ‘You shouldn’t lie or make excuses for him. He’s the one in the wrong.’
I looked at him and nodded; I knew he was right. I also knew just how much he hated Matt. The feeling was mutual, and I wanted to let him know. I had to tell him something, it was killing me having him think that I was with Matt out of choice, not necessity. I knew he hated the fact that I was still engaged to him, and was judging me for it. I couldn’t tell him everything, but I did need to tell him something to explain why I was still engaged to Matt and putting up with his shit.
Drew was so patient, not complaining and just hanging out with us. He didn’t seem bored and sat there listening to us chat most of the night. It wasn’t like we were ignoring him. We included him on conversations, telling him stories of people around us, and bringing him into the conversation.
During one particular time, a guy I went to university with just wouldn’t leave Amber and me alone. He kept talking about social things and boring-ass subjects like stocks and the upcoming midterm elections, things I hardly had a view on, and I could tell Drew was about as lost as I was. I gave him an apologetic look, mouthing that I was sorry. ‘Don’t worry about me, I just want to be here with you,’ he told me, as I looked up to him, feeling guilty that he was as bored as I was.
The bar was too crowded, loud and hot, that we made our way outside to the back deck, waiting for a table to free up. We were standing off to the side, and I was basically up against a wall, with Drew standing next to me, with Amber, Zoe and John also outside with us trying to cool off.
‘Another drink?’ he asked, and I followed him to the bar. He put his hand around me at the bar, resting it on my stomach. I moved it away to my hip as soon as he did it. ‘Sorry,’ he said, moving his hands from my body altogether.
I turned back to him. ‘I just hate my stomach,’ I reminded him, laying my flaws and self-consciousness out for him. ‘But I love your hands on me.’
He smiled, placing his hand back on my stomach. ‘I love everything about you, please don't shy away from me,’ he whispered in my ear as he circled his palm around my stomach before settling on my hip, where he knew I’d be more comfortable with it.
We did shots, then took a pitcher of hard lemonade back to the area Amber, Zoe and John were waiting and where Breton had joined with his friend Leah.
‘Hey,’ I welcomed her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t get enough cups, but feel free to refill the one you have,’ I told Leah as Drew placed the pitcher on the table.
‘Thanks,’ she smiled, holding up a water bottle. ‘But I have to teach a yoga class at 7 tomorrow morning, I can’t be downward dogging all over the toilet,’ she joked.
‘You’re a yoga teacher?’ Amber asked, her interest piqued. She had been talking about becoming more active recently, sedentary university lifestyle, pizza, and beers hadn’t been kind to us. However, she’d made out better than most and had nothing to worry about.
‘Yeah,’ Leah said shyly. ‘Well, kind of, I’m trying. I’ve taken classes on how to instruct through school, now I’m trying to get some hours before I can take a master’s class in it.’
Amber turned to me. ‘Jessa, we should totally get her to teach us. How fun would yoga on the beach be?’
I looked at Leah. ‘Can yoga really be done on the beach?’
Leah smiled. ‘Totally, fresh air, calming sounds of waves, though the sand can be a bit of a bitch.’
Amber and I both smiled at her and then each other. I knew the look on Amber’s face meant that she considered it a done deal; when she wanted something, she usually didn’t let it go. Amber was officially pulling me into her new exercise program. ‘Yay, can’t wait,’ I said sarcastically in an overly excited voice.
We all exchanged numbers and chatted for a bit. It turned out Leah was in university in Boston studying Health Sciences, with the hope of doing occupational therapy or athletic therapy. She was shy but trying to be social with us. I could tell she was outside her comfort zone but was making an effort.
As the night went on, my level of intoxication increased. I had conversations with lots of people, introducing Drew as my friend who was working with (not for) my father for the summer. That only intrigued the girls even more, thinking he was on his way up in the business, and making the guys envious of him.
I checked my phone periodically, and at one point Drew said out loud, ‘Fuck him!’ It took me by surprise. He was clearly pissed off and frustrated, both with me and with Matt. ‘Forget him, have fun, don’t let him ruin a perfectly good time tonight.’
He was right. ‘Here, take it,’ I said, handing him my phone. He was all too happy to take it from me, putting it in his back pocket.
We had a really great time the rest of the evening, chatting, dancing and drinking. When the bartender announced last call, Drew took me up to the bar to get some bottles of water for the table. When we returned, Amber, Zoe, and John were nowhere to be seen. Breton had left with Leah and a bunch of their friends earlier to go to another bar or house party. They weren’t really sure where the night would take them but were happy to have Leah as the designated driver for a few more hours. I, however, just wanted to go home with Drew. Perhaps he was drunk enough to do more than talk to me tonight.
Talking and getting to know him over the past month had been great, but I wanted more. I needed to feel his lips on mine again, and after his hands had found their way back to my body tonight, I wanted them to stay there—permanently.
‘Guess they wanted some privacy,’ I joked. ‘Shall we try to hail a cab?’
‘We can walk if you want,’ he suggested holding up the water. It was a warm night with a nice breeze, and I let him lead the way towards the beach.
I nodded in agreement. ‘We can cut down here then walk along the beach, it will lead us straight home. It will take a bit longer, but I’ll be able to take off these shoes and soak my feet in the water.’
He followed me down the road, walking right next to me, so close that our arms were brushing against each other. While walking over the sand dunes, he placed his hand on my lower back. All night he had been finding any excuse to have his hands on me; not in an overly obvious way, but enough that I noticed it and continued to have a tingling feeling between my legs. The feeling I always had when he was around, it seemed. I had wasted so much time in May being pissed off at him before our last make-out session. Perhaps if I’d not shown my bitchy side, we’d be furt
her along physically than we were. I felt I had been relegated to the friend zone before tonight. But now I had reason to hope again.
In May, I should have seen he was different. I had just been so jaded and angry with Matt’s deception that I was taking it out on the only guy who may have ever truly cared for me, rather than what he could get from me.
Once on the sand, I tore off my shoes and quickly walked to the water. It felt like heaven to my burning, swollen feet. Drew took off his shoes and rolled up his pants. It was dark, but there was just enough light from the neighboring homes along the beach and the moon overhead. We walked in silence at first.
‘John seems like a decent guy.’
‘Yeah, he does.’ I nodded, dragging my feet through the waves. ‘But her family doesn’t know about him.’
‘Why not?’ he asked, curious. ‘He’s a nice guy.’
‘Yeah, but they say she should be concentrating on school and swimming. Plus, she knows they will want someone…more.’
'That’s unfortunate, what he does is heroic. I couldn’t do it, that's for sure. What about your family? Do they expect you to be with someone…more?' he asked me.
'Not really. I think it matters more to my mother, she grew up in society, but my father is a self-made man.'
'Is Matt's family connected?' he asked me, catching me a bit off guard, not expecting to hear the question.
I couldn't even tell him what Breton and I had found out, so I simply said, 'No.’ That was true no matter how you looked at it.
‘I had a really great time tonight with you, Amber and your other friends. I always feel like a bit of the third wheel.’ He changed the subject, sensing my uneasiness at the mention of Matt. But his voice told me he was being honest with me, as he sounded genuinely happy.
‘Thanks for coming, I appreciate it. You made my night that much more enjoyable.’ It was the truth. ‘And for making all the other girls there envious of me for a change.’
‘For a change?’ he questioned. ‘I’m sure you’re always followed with envious looks.’
‘Not standing next to Matt…’ I looked at him and blushed. I could tell I embarrassed him. ‘Sorry.’
‘No need to apologize.’
‘So, you know how attractive you are?’
He laughed. ‘So I’ve been told...’
‘But I like your company too, you’re a lot of fun,’ I followed up, not wanting him to think I was shallow. I was pretty sure he knew me well enough by now, not to think that.
‘And I yours. You’re an amazing young woman, Jessa.’
I let out a sigh. If only everyone could see the real me.
I didn’t say anything in return. But then he just blurted it out. ‘Why do you put up with him?’ I didn’t answer. ‘I know I don’t know you all that well yet, or your situation, but I do know that if he treats you like that in public, I can’t imagine how he treats you in private.”
‘Oh, he doesn't discriminate,’ I said to him, trying to make a joke out of it.
‘That’s no excuse to allow him to do it.’
‘It’s only recently, he used to be really sweet, but I think he’s just under a lot of stress from work.’
‘Well, it doesn’t give him the right…You know I overhear things, your parents aren’t happy with the situation, and I think you could do better.’
‘Me?’ I asked dumbfounded.
‘When are you going to start believing me?’ he questioned, at the same moment a large wave knocked him off his feet. He reached out to me instinctively, grabbing me for support, except it caused me to lose my footing, falling backwards, pulling him down on me.
The past month I had fantasized about him. Hell, I even got off imagining him from that night on the beach. But now, here I was, on my ass, in the water, waves washing over me, soaking me, and he was leaning over me, trying to brace himself so he didn't crush me.
Our faces were only an inch apart, his knees straddling one of my legs, and we both had shocked expressions on our faces at what had just transpired.
‘Oh my God, forgive me, I am so sorry.’ He looked so remorseful, but all I could do was laugh, causing him to laugh too. He helped me to my feet. I was completely soaked, while he had landed on his knees, leaving his top half dry.
I couldn’t stop laughing, as he was grabbing my dress and trying to wring it out. ‘Do you want my shirt?’ he asked.
I laughed more. ‘No, my dress is too wet, no sense in getting your shirt wet too.’
‘Take your dress off, and wear my shirt,’ he said. He was serious and started to unbutton the top buttons of his Polo shirt.
I reached out and stopped him from unbuttoning another button, placing my palms on his firm chest, resting them there, enjoying the feel too much. ‘No, no, it’s fine, really.’ Another wave crashed around my feet and, being drunk, I was not sturdy. His arm instinctively reached around me, and he steadied me on my feet, leading us a few feet away from the edge of the water. Our bodies were sandwiched together. With one of his arms around my lower back, he took his free hand and moved the hair from my face and tilted my face towards him slowly. Our lips met in a gentle way.
We pulled away slowly, looking at each other, reading the other’s undeniable expression. ‘You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that again,’ he whispered.
‘I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been able to think of much more than that one night on the beach…’
‘And the time in your closet,’ he added, kissing me again. ‘If I’m being completely honest, I’ve thought about your lips on me since the first time I met you.’
‘That would have been quite the show for Trish,’ I joked with him, causing us both to laugh.
He leaned down, offering me his lips again, and I was too far gone to refuse his advances. We stood on the beach, in front of the house my parents had bought for me, and made out like teenagers. He pulled me into him, pressing his hardness against my stomach. I let out a moan, longing for how something that large could make me feel. I didn’t have to see it to know he was well-endowed. Even with my inexperience, it was undeniable.
He had my ass in one hand, the other in my hair. He wasn’t rough, but he wasn’t gentle. There was an urgency in our kiss as if it may never happen again and we had to make the most of it. I couldn't let this be the last one.
I had a shiver run down my spine, thinking that this was the start of something I couldn't stop or ever walk away from. I wasn't steady on my feet; the waves, the drinks, and Drew’s hands and lips were making me lose my mind. I swayed, as Drew laughed at me then took me by the arm. 'Little girl can't handle the major leagues, with the big boys’ drinks.'
'Normally I can, but drinking since early afternoon has done me in.'
'Alcohol-one, Jessa-zero,' he joked. 'Need me to carry you?'
'Yeah right, the last thing you need is a broken back.'
He shook his head. 'Don't let stupid boys brainwash you into thinking poorly of yourself.' I looked to the ground, regretting my lack of self-confidence. The next thing I knew, my feet were no longer on the ground, but Drew had picked me up. 'You underestimate me.'
'Put me down,' I yelled and waved my arms around. 'You are going to get hurt, and I’m still soaking wet.' After his kissing and fondling me, it was now more than my dress. He slapped my ass before settling me to my feet at the edge of my parents’ property, at the exact spot we had made out weeks before.
'I really want to kiss you again,' he said in a low needy voice, as his hand swept over my cheek.
'Then why aren't you?' I asked.
'Jessa,' he moaned my name. 'I want to, but not like this, not when you’re falling down drunk...'
'I'm upright,' I protested.
'Just barely. And you're vulnerable and still wearing this.' He took my left hand, and we both looked at my engagement ring. 'I'd want a real chance with you, not a feel-good rebound. You don't deserve that, and neither do I. And truth be told, with you, I want more. I will not shar
e, I’ve told you that before.' He ran his fingers through my hair and down my back.
I felt rejected, but in an honorable way. I knew I'd be able to think about this clearly tomorrow when I wasn't drunk, though I was sure I was going to have a massive hangover. And an even bigger headache once Breton got through the lecture that was sure to come.
Drew walked me to the back door, gave me a hug, and lightly kissed the top of my head. 'Sleep well, cupcake,' he whispered, then walked to his apartment.
Chapter 23
DREW
IT WAS A WARM MORNING, and I wasn't feeling so hot on account of all the alcohol I consumed the night before, but there was work to be done after yesterday. Breton came up the driveway as I was opening up the garage doors.
'That’s some strut,' I called to him. He looked at me puzzled, not understanding my remark. I walked closer to him. 'Walk of shame, most guys are a bit more discreet.'
He gave me a sly smile. 'I don’t know what you are talking about. I found a lost kitty and had to return her home.'
I laughed at him. 'I'm sure you made it purr all night too.'
‘I did.’ He smiled, pleased.
‘Was it that chick you’ve been hanging with?’ I asked him purely out of curiosity.
He looked up at me. ‘Leah?’ he questioned, and I nodded, remembering her name as he said it. ‘Naw man, that girl’s been through way too much.’ He shook his head, and I could tell by the haunted look in his eyes, the girl was broken, and he was distraught over it. ‘I’m just her friend, always have been. She needs friends right now. Besides, she’s, like, engaged to some military dude.’
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, I hadn’t been expecting that.
‘It was some random chick, from one of the bars we hit up last night. She had an Airbnb close by here with some friends—you should have come,’ he told me, but I just shook my head at him. I’d have never done that, even to get laid, which I was nearly desperate for. I followed him through the back door, where the table was being set for breakfast.