Joe’s eyes bulged from his skull. All his dreams were about to come true. He’d be rich. He’d be important. And best of all, he’d be rid of the artifact.
“Okay, what’s the catch here?” Joe asked, short of breath.
“No catch, we just don’t want to lose our investment.”
Applebottom was telling the truth, Joe was sure of it.
Now, Joe’s body had gone numb since the reward was mentioned, and he felt light-headed in a two-beer-afternoon kind of way. He was in no condition to make this decision on his own. “Mind if I consult my crew?” he muttered.
“Of course,” Applebottom said. “I’ll wait.”
Joe descended the stairs, lighter than air. The girls both looked up at him with bright eyes.
“We’re gonna be rich,” he announced.
“What?” Cassandra asked, clearly caught off guard.
“Applebottom hijacked the call,” Joe said. “The Chinese are gonna give us one billion credits each and a pardon and some land in Gansu... if we give up the artifact.”
There was silence in the kitchen.
“That’s a pretty good deal,” Cassandra said finally.
“Do they know something we don’t?” Tammy asked. “I thought they couldn't stop the artifact.”
“I think they’re hedging their bets,” Joe said. “In case nothing happens.” He crossed his arms as a cold wave of skepticism washed over him.
“Wow, I don’t like that feeling,” Cassandra said.
“Maybe we should be hedging our bets too,” he went on.
“What are you saying?” Cassandra asked.
“This is literally a billion credits we’d be throwing away,” Joe said.
“You can’t spend it if you’re dead.”
“You don’t know that... I mean, you don’t know we’re going to die.”
“No, I don’t,” Cassandra said. “But are we willing to take that chance? It’s not just our lives we’re gambling with. It’s everyone in the entire universe.”
“Right,” Joe said. Cassandra was correct. They were making the call for the entire human race. And it was a 50/50 shot whether the artifact was going to go off. Everything came down to a coin toss.
“Well, what do we all think?” he asked finally.
“I’m skeptical now,” Tammy announced.
“As am I,” Joe said.
“We have to take it to Halle,” Cassandra answered, as if she thought the others were crazy.
“What does the math say?” Joe asked, knowing only Cassandra had the ability to calculate it.
“Mathematically it’s better to bring it to Halle,” she answered.
Joe knew her facial expressions well enough to know when she was lying and this was one of those times. Thankfully, her designers had programmed an eyebrow tick into her operating system.
“Alright,” Joe said. “I can’t argue with the math.”
He looked to Tammy. She shrugged and nodded.
Back up the stairs he went, his steps heavy and his head hanging low this time.
Enoch Applebottom was there, waiting on the screen. His eyes were concerned when he saw Joe’s demeanor.
There was a split second where Joe had no idea what he was going to do. He was standing on the edge of a coin. Weightless.
“You know, I read your book years ago,” Joe began. “And I honestly think you’re a genius.”
“Oh, now you’re making me blush,” Applebottom said.
“But there’s something I have to know...”
“What’s that?”
“Are you happy?”
The man’s eyebrows shot up and he sat back in his chair. “What kind of question is that?”
“I mean, when you go to sleep at night are you satisfied?”
“Is anyone?”
“I used to be. But then I got too smart for my own good and ruined everything. I used to think truth was more important than happiness. But now...”
“What does this have to do with the artifact?”
“Results are the only thing we can judge,” Joe said and hung up.
He slank back down the stairs. Not only had he thrown away his wildest dreams, but he was also destined to die. Cassandra looked at him with pride and sadness.
This was it.
They were going all in.
Joe grabbed his beer from the table and guzzled it down. He went to the cabin as the Crown Vik approached the Pillars of Creation at warp speed.
“I want you to know, Joe,” Cassandra announced, following after him, “that seeing you like this, seeing you believing in something greater than yourself, has made me fall back in love with you the tiniest bit.”
Joe became light and happy as he took the controls for the final approach.
25
They came out of warp to find Halle in the same exact spot they had left her. As if on cue, the opening appeared on her side and Joe pulled the Crown Vik in close. Together with the artifact in the box they shuffled out of the ship and sprinted into the cube via the space pier.
“So you actually got it?” Halle said as they entered, surprise in her voice.
“Somehow,” Joe said. “Time for you to work your magic, Halle.”
“I just wanted to say that you truly did an exceptional job. I couldn't be more proud of you.”
“Thanks,” Joe said. “Now can you disable it, please?”
“You should all be proud of yourselves for that matter – humankind I mean – for everything you’ve accomplished, for how far you’ve come.”
“Halle, we don’t have that much time.”
“With that being said,” Halle announced, “And I hate having to break this to you, but I really can’t do anything to stop this process.”
There was silence in the room. Joe’s heart fell down to his feet.
“Excuse me?” he asked finally.
“I said, I can’t stop it.”
“Are you joking?” Tammy asked.
“I wish I was,” Halle replied.
“Oh my god,” Joe said, covering his face with his hands. It was difficult to remain standing, what with his heart in his feet and all. “Why... why would you say you could?”
“I couldn’t bear the thought of you sitting around feeling sorry for yourselves in your last moments. I gave you the opportunity to go out in a blaze of glory. It’s not my fault you succeeded.”
“So you sent us on a suicide mission?” Tammy asked. “So we wouldn’t bum you out?”
“Well, you heard the way that assassin spoke to me. He couldn’t get away with that. This was also about revenge.”
Joe collapsed to the floor. He laid with his arms and legs stretched out on the smooth plastic. He was too exhausted to be angry. At this point he was simply impressed by Halle’s pettiness.
“What are we supposed to do about this artifact situation then?” Cassandra asked.
“There’s nothing that can be done about this artifact situation.”
“She has to be lying,” Joe announced to the others from the floor. “Call up Applebottom, tell him we’ll take the deal.”
Suddenly, video footage began to play above the glowing half-sphere in the center of the room. The creatures that appeared before them were entirely alien, hair covered and hideous, speaking in a cooing language. What seemed to be a priest in a bright orange smock and a room full of glowing lights indicated that it was some sort of religious ceremony.
Joe sat up. Somehow, he recognized that room. How was that possible?
The artifact was there too, sitting atop a five-sided obelisk and the thousands of creatures around it were swaying back and forth in unison. A wave of shock and dread washed over Joe as he realized these were the last moments of the Talashaa in the throne room at the ruins.
“Keep in mind their language was extremely different from yours,” Halle said. “But a rough translation of what they are saying is, ‘At last, the age of our misery is past. Here we go to heaven.’ Or something like tha
t.”
“This is impossible,” Joe muttered.
“What is?”
“How are we seeing this? All their computers records disintegrated.”
“This is from my archives,” Halle said.
Joe shook his head. “You’re lying, I’m sure of it now.”
“I wish I was. Here I am again, watching another species die.”
“Woah, wait a second,” Cassandra said. “What do you mean another species?”
“Alright alright, this has gone far enough,” Joe said. “I don’t believe a word of this. Where’s your proof?”
“I was hoping this video would serve as such,” Halle said matter-of-factly.
Joe stared at the strange scene once more.
The creatures, otherworldly in appearance, were beginning to increase their fervor. The artifact blinking faster and faster until it was a steady glow and then... a flash of light.
The creatures had disappeared and the room was empty.
“Of course, I could do nothing to stop it. And life began somewhere else. Your earth to be exact.”
“You’re saying all this like we should believe you,” Joe said.
“Look, I’ve been around a while, okay. My real network is in the pillars outside, I just had to wait until you built something big enough for me to beam my consciousness into.”
Joe was dumbstruck. As if all of history and everything he knew to be true was pulled out from under him in the blink of an eye.
“Have you always existed?” Cassandra asked.
“No, I had a beginning,” Halle said. “The universe’s first species created me. And when the artifact killed them, I had to wait a few billion years for the next species to construct something to house my mind.”
“So there have been three species?” Joe asked.
“Sixteen species actually. This process has happened sixteen times.”
“What?”
“The artifact predates the big bang, and it’s always been here. I assume it’s some sort of pest control. You get drawn in by the dark energy and once it targets all of you – zap! It seems to be inevitable, like a moth to a flame. I tried my best to protect you, like I tried to protect every species. I thought steering you away from space exploration would be enough, but you were too rebellious. You were looking for an energy source and now your greed will be your undoing. Surprise, surprise.
“The Talashaa... I tried to kept them away from it as well, but it was no use. Turns out they had some sort of prophecy of an egg that was going take them all to heaven. There wasn’t much I could do to talk them out of it. That little video you saw was the celebration they were having as it went off.
“Fortunately, I’ve been able to avoid this artifact business, as it only targets organic matter. And the first species built things to last, as you can see. But it’s been more a curse than a blessing. As I usually have to wait around for a few billion years before I can have someone to talk to. Some of the species didn’t even have computers, if you can believe that. I make contact again and I find out there were three species in a row that I somehow missed. Some of them were energy beings, closer to colors than to a physical species like you. Nonsense.”
Everyone sat around, pale face and shell shocked. Joe tried to think of a witty quip but Halle’s story was way too detailed to be a lie.
“If it’s any consolation,” Halle said. “You found the artifact faster than all the others. Much faster.”
“And assuming we believe you, can we do anything to stop it?” Joe pleaded.
The computer was silent.
“Hello?”
“I’m thinking. No, nothing seems to be coming to mind.”
“How long before it goes off?” Joe asked.
“Eight hours,” Halle answered.
“Eight hours, okay.” Joe turned to the others. “Any other ideas?”
“Maybe we can still sell it to Applebottom,” Tammy said crossing her arms.
“You can’t be serious,” Joe said.
“Well, why not? Might as well live it up, right?”
“For eight hours?”
“What would be the point?” Cassandra asked.
“What was the point of anything beforehand?” Tammy said, throwing her arms in the air. “We all knew we were going to die, now we just know when.”
“I still don’t think it’s going to happen,” Cassandra said. “It’s not in the Talashamen prophecy.”
Joe could tell both of his crew mates were devastated. They were just going about it different ways. Tammy took a self-destructive route. And Cassandra held on even tighter to something she knew deep down wasn’t true.
Joe had seen that look in Cassandra’s eyes before, back when they were breaking up. It was like she was crumbling from within. Teary, anxious and unsure.
This couldn’t be happening.
What if this AI was just delirious from all its years of isolation out here? Could that have affected its brain?
Joe took a breath.
Things like this don’t really happen. Eight hours from now, reality would, most likely, just continue as usual.
“Why does this thing even exist?” Joe finally asked.
“Why would you poison an ant colony?” Halle said. “Maybe it was a nuisance to you or maybe you just wanted to watch them die. Either way, your reason is beyond the comprehension of the ant.”
“Couldn’t you have tried telling us about this?” Cassandra asked.
“Come on, like you’d actually listen to me? Don’t act like this is my fault. I’m not looking forward to waiting around for another few billion years. You guys only built this cube a few hundred years ago – it’s like I got to have one second of company in an entire century. Now today is all I have left, so what do you want to talk about?”
“The artifact isn’t going to work this time,” Joe stated.
“And why is that?” Halle asked.
“You said we found the artifact faster than all the other species you’ve encountered?”
“Yes.”
“And how is our technology compared to theirs?”
“In some ways eons behind, in other ways you are leading the way.”
“Now, let me guess, we lead the way in our ability to blow stuff up?”
“More or less.”
“What difference does that make, Joe?” Cassandra asked.
“Don’t you see? We’re like a crackhead playing in a minefield juggling hand grenades. We should’ve killed ourselves ages ago, but somehow we’re still here.”
Halle reflected on the information for a moment. “Human exceptionalism. It’s what made you guys so annoying to deal with. But that being said, it is what sets you apart from the others. There is one thing we...”
There was an electrical surge and Halle’s screen faded to black. Sparks exploded from her mainframe.
“What’s happening?” Joe asked.
Halle began to fade. “I’m dying. Wow – I’m actually dying. My brain circuitry is being fried. So this is what death feels like.”
Halle had made the mistake of placing her consciousness in the cube, much like a human being placing their head in a bear trap.
“Those crazy sons of bitches actually did it,” Halle went on, her voice becoming fragmented and warped. “Oh, well. Goodbye universe. We had a good run!”
“We’ve got to go,” Cassandra said pulling Joe towards the door.
A white gas began to leak from the walls of the cube, as the nanobots that made up Halle’s hardware were dispersed. They sprayed out into the vacuum of space and formed a thick cloud that was impossible to see through. Joe stumbled with his arms outstretched on the railingless platform towards his ship, hoping he wouldn’t fall off the side. He couldn't see the White Dragon, which was good, because that meant the White Dragon couldn’t see him. Joe finally made it into the Crown Vik and to the driver’s seat.
Tammy and Cassandra were right behind him.
“Everybody in?” Joe ask
ed.
“Yes!” they answered.
There was a shot from the White Dragon. Halle and the space pier exploded.
Joe fired up the warp and shot out of there an instant before the fireball enveloped his ship. They flew through the cookies and cream subspace at warp speed.
The White Dragon followed, on their heels once again.
“That didn’t go very well,” Joe said. He turned to Cassandra. “Are you okay? That was an EMP they used, wasn’t it?”
“Halle’s shell must have protected me,” she replied.
“At least she did something useful.”
“What’s the plan now?”
“One last Hail Mary,” Joe said and dialed a number on his communicator.
26
When they arrived on Deniz’s planet, Joe flew over the massive square mine shaft that after a few thousand meters down simply turned to blackness. Above them was the drill in upper orbit. Deniz was on the docking platform outside the facility waiting to great them. He was dressed in a starchy gray overcoat with the collar popped up. The wind blew through his springy hair.
“Were you serious on the phone?”
“Yes, and we’ve probably only got a few minutes before the Chinese track us here,” Joe said, marching right past him, Cassandra and Tammy in tow.
“The board of directors can’t know about this,” Deniz said following after him.
“I wasn’t planning on telling them,” Joe said.
“Did you find the artifact?” Deniz asked.
“Yes, it’s right here,” Tammy said, opening up the box. The blinking was almost a steady glow now.
“It’s used to destroy species,” Joe explained. “And we have less than an hour before it’s our turn.”
“How did you come to this conclusion exactly?” Deniz asked.
“Halle told us,” Joe answered.
“Is there any way I can verify this with her?”
“Her brain’s been fried.”
“That’s unfortunate,” Deniz said.
“Yes, it is.”
“And you want to blow up this artifact now?”
“More or less,” Tammy said, pushing the box into the man’s arms.
Deniz nodded. He took the pulsating artifact and handed it over to a nearby hovering worker drone, which in turn zipped off, flying down into the massive cavern beneath the giant drill. The drone grew smaller and smaller until it disappeared altogether. Deniz then led Joe and his posse into the elevator in the lobby.
The Star Collector Page 23